Mighty Ninjarai!
by Person With Many Aliases
Summary: Your typical story in which an Original Character will take Naruto away for an number of years in order to transform him into the ultimate killing machine. And maybe have a relationship with Hinata, who knows.
1. Typical: Picking Up The Brat

_"GOLD RANGER! YOUR TIME HAS COME!" Came the triumphant cry of the Dark Lord, Death Reaper._

"_Never! No matter how your dark schemes close in, we as the Light shall persevere! Rangers, UNITE!" The leader, Gold Ranger shouted back, and soon enough the five other members jumped into their Flying Super Destruction Stance._

"_Rangers are united!" shouted Gold Ranger's second-in-command, Blue Ranger._

"_HAR HAR HAR! Your pitiful Flying Super Destruction Stance shall fail this time! My new weapon shall make sure of your defeat!" Death Reaper proclaimed mightily as a giant robot burst forth from the barren battleground._

"_Wha-what is that?" Cyan Ranger shouted loudly in surprise._

"_BWA HA HA! THIS IS MY SUPER OMNI-BOT! IT HAS BEEN UPGRADED!" Death Reaper shouted in victory!_

"_Rangers! We must do this! As those who stand for the goodness and peace of this world! ATTACK!" Gold Ranger said upliftingly!_

_The rest of the Rangers were inspired as their colored Chakra levels reached past level 50!_

_In unison they all shouted their first ultimate attack, "SUPER SHINY SPINNY ATTA-_

"Hey, hey mister, watcha reading?" A curious child's voice sounded out, disrupting the battle.

"GAAAAGGH!" A bundle of cloak, straw hat, manga, and sheathed Katana fell off the child's swing, and landed in a pile that would have never looked human if one passed by without checking. Eventually the pile underneath the cloak righted itself, a right arm pushing itself through the only sleeve on the crème material as it assisted pulling the head free of the cloth wrapped around it.

A frowning single dark eye stared back at the boy's own confused blue pair.

Silence ensued.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

Silence was then broken when the older man in the cloak bashed his fist into the younger boy's head. Note here that this man was running purely on instinct at this moment. His instinct here were fine-tuned by living in a family of approximately the same age, so rough housing was the norm for him.

Rough housing though, only works for ages ten and above, and the blond haired, blue-eyed child was only five.

The small face began the crinkle up, and tears began to gather in the eyes.

The small boy began to cry.

"Wha-what! Kid, don't cry! I didn't mean… shit…"

**Person With Many Aliases Presents:**

"**Mighty Ninjarai!"**

**A Naruto Fanfiction.**

"**Naruto" Series property of Musashi Kishimoto.**

**Original characters property of Author "Person With Many Aliases"**

**Typical: Picking up the brat.**

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The cloaked man leaned back onto the counter of the Ramen stand and gave an exhausted sigh. His great crème cloak spilled of the sides of his body to reveal black pants and a slightly tight black vest that curved with his leaned trained muscles. A left hand came out from underneath the material to scratch the top of head that was covered in an uneven mess of black hair that apparently had not seen a real haircut in the while. It was a great view from the shop since the sunset showed in all its dying glory, but since his right eye was firmly tied over by an eye patch, his view would have to suffer the loss of his 'depth perception', whatever that meant. It was probably a bad thing.

Today was nothing but a bad thing.

First and foremost was _Super Shiny Spinny Attack._ Death Reaper's new Omni-Bot apparently had some new shield that reflected all of the Rangers' attacks. The energy generators that provided the protection were hidden in four secret locations across the nation. So in order to combat this new threat, the Rangers split into pairs to tackle each generator at once (No doubt arch-nemesis Evil Queen Ursula would be guarding one, though). This in itself was no bad thing, since the Rangers could defend themselves well enough without their united formations.

But Pink Ranger was going with Red Ranger.

_GODDAMNIT! PINK RANGER SHOULD BE WITH ORANGE RANGER! _He punched one fist into another in frustration. _After all, the plot has it perfectly set up for such a coupling! Now those Pink Ranger, Red Ranger coupling Fanboys are going be all like-_

"Uh, excuse me, but are you alright?" The elderly ramen chef asked the Cloaked One. "You seem to be awfully upset…"

"Oh? Naw, I was just thinking of something…"

"Oh. Well, remember this is a restaurant. If you want to stay here, you're going to have to order something, whether you eat it or not."

"Fine, whatever he's having."

"Right! One Shrimp Ramen coming up!"

The One Who Read looked over to his side to watch the young child beside him continue to slurp up his Ramen. He could still see the remains of tearstains from earlier.

_Oh my god. Third bowl. I bet he's purposely eating all that to piss me off and take revenge for me bashing his head in…ugh…_

The second thing that made this day a bad thing was this kid.

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_"…I didn't mean…shit…" He finally came to the full understanding of what he just did. He just attacked an innocent. What did ancient Bushido say about this again? He probably didn't want to know. He'd probably end up stabbing himself out of honor or something like the stories say._

_"Kid! I'm sorry! Don't cry!" After some weak attempts of making funny faces, he also turned around to shout at the path behind him with an acted grin that only turned out sheepish at most, "No problem here! None at all! Don't worry people just move along!"_

_Those who passed by with disgusted and dark looks at the boy, muttering curses._

_"…can't believe he's still alive…"_

_"…suppose he probably deserved whatever happened…"_

_"…he's better crying for what he did to our village…"_

_He just stared dumbfounded, but the kid kept crying._

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After that, he supposed he felt obligated to cheer him up. Candy worked for a little while, but after some experimentation, he ended up finding himself paying for the brat's ramen.

_Oh my god. Fifth bowl. Is it even humanly possible to eat like this? I ain't hungry anymore._ "Here, have mine kid."

"YEAH!"

The single eyeball made its revolution around sides of the lids while he sighed at the bill that was going to get racked up from this. At this rate he would have to resort to… hell knows what the heck he could do with this profession. Unlike ninjas, he didn't consider things like buying groceries as a "mission".

"Hey mister." The child interjected. The man gave the child audience with his lazed face.

"Yeah?"

"Are you a ninja?"

An eyebrow was raised at the question. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, you have a sword right?" The child pointed to the wrapped handle that poked out of the cloak.

"…Yeah?"

"Doesn't that mean you can fight?"

"…Yeah?"

"The only people I know who can fight are ninjas, so aren't you one?" The boy asked with a confused frown. If everyone he knew who fought were ninjas, how come this man wasn't sounding like he was one?

The man shut his eye and shrugged, "Well, I can fight, but that doesn't mean I'm a ninja."

"So… what are you?"

"A Samurai."

"Samurai? What's the difference?"

"A lot."

It was then that the old man that ran the Ramen stand turned from his cooking with a chuckle of amused surprise. "Samurai, huh? I haven't heard that word in a long time. From what I heard the last of them died out over a century ago! What does that make, you huh?"

The Samurai's shaggy head turned around with a grin "There's a few stubborn no-name families left that like to hold onto their titles. Apparently they think that their honor code makes them superior to ninjas or something. Though its true, the samurai system is mostly out now, no real samurai in business now. Even me, I'm more like what they used to call 'Ronin' ".

"A Samurai without a master, huh?"

"Nothing but the clothes on my back."

"Ah! The ramen's getting cold! I spent all this time listening to you!" The child beside the wanderer cried out in dismay before quickly diving face first into his cooling noodles.

Another sigh. "I guess I have to apologize for that too, then." There was a moment of silence before a thought came to the Ronin's mind. "So kid, what's your story then?"

The child turned his face up from his nearly depleted (in less than a minute) bowel with a confused face. "Story?"

"Yeah. You know, likes… or dislikes… or dreams for the future… or hobbies or who're your parents or whatever. You know. Stuff like that." The older man said as he stared off into the sky, bruised purple with a few hand gestures put in as he spoke.

The child's face fell then, before looking down at his bowel. "I don't have any parents."

It was finally the Samurai's turn to be confused. "Eh? You don't?"

"No."

"But those people back in the playground… I thought that maybe they hated you because you had parents that were… evil or something."

"No… I'm the evil one…" The kid started shaking.

The samurai gave a confused look "Huh?"

"All the grown ups hate me… they say I'm a monster, and nobody wants to be friends with me. All the kids stay away and make fun of me too," the kid really got into his mantra as tears began to fall into his bowel of ramen, "Why does everybody hate me? I didn't do anything. I'm always alone… it's just not fair…"

"DAMN KID!" A samurai palm slammed itself onto the counter disturbing everything on its surface. The kid jerked up in surprise and found himself being stared down by a single orb aflame with emotion. A finger was then thrust into his face as the swordsman got on his feet. "SHUT UP! The last thing I need is another Angst-Bastard! Like Red Ranger in chapter two hundred and something or other in Super Shiny Spinny Attack! And you angst at your age no less!"

The Ramen keeper gave an upset look, "Hey! Don't talk to a kid like that!"

The lone eyeball frowned back, "I'm doing something important here! Go make a ramen or something!" he then turned back to the kid who was still hiccupping. "I say, 'Lemons? Lemonade!' or 'if they give you a finger, break it! (Then kill those guys who are after you for revenge!)' So you got an unfair deal! Well I don't hate you! What I hate is how you're probably going to stand around feeling sorry for yourself! If you don't like something, then at least DO something about it! Hell, if everybody hates you here, I wouldn't care less if that meant running away! Just don't be an angst-bastard! YAAAAH!" The man thus finished his rant about what he hated about Red Ranger with a stomp and raising both hands into the air.

The boy blinked a bit before his streaked face frowned, "But I'm only five!"

"Hell! I didn't have parents and everybody hated me too when I was five! Albeit I was a real bastard then… but at least I tried to make a living!"

The kid had a sort of awed look then, "So… you're the same as me?"

The Samurai then sort of blinked as that thought sunk in, "Well… you aren't really a bastard… but, I suppose that's true."

A teary look of joy thus encompassed the child's face, "This is the best day I ever had…"

The Samurai just looked in another direction, embarrassed. His right arm disappeared up the sleeve on the cloak, before it rose out of the wide collar to scratch the side of his face as he tried to think of what to say. He noticed the sky's deepening blue as darkness nearly consumed everything.

"Well, it's getting kind of late for you, kid. You should be going back to where you stay."

"I'll show you!" The kid excitedly insisted as he began to pull on the empty sleeve of the cloak.

"Oi, oi! Slow down!" The Samurai returned as trailed after as a head on tower of cloth.

"Hey! You didn't pay for the Ramen!" The shop keep called out, stopping the two.

"…I'll pay when I come back!" _Yeah right…_

"Yeah right," The Ramen Stand guy snorted as he crossed his arms, "Pay up now."

The Samurai just stared back. _…Damn…_

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"You live in an apartment flat? I thought you stayed at an orphanage or something…" The Samurai questioned as he followed his much younger guide up the stairs to the floor where the kid's flat was on.

"Well, the orphanage pays for the rent right now. But they say they expect me to pay after I turn seven."

The Samurai gave a thoughtful hum as the two found themselves in front of one of the many undescriptive doors of the facility. The young blonde unlocked the door and entered first before calling his companion to enter as well. He only just gave a sheepish and embarrassed look as he turned away scratching his face, saying he couldn't.

"Why?" The young kid asked, obviously upset.

"I have to go and do something, then leave here right after."

"You can't stay here?"

"I'm not really the type to stay in one place."

"But what about me?"

The samurai sighed as he lowered himself to be level with the child. "Look, I just can't stay here. It's unfair, true. But remember what I told you. Even if everything goes wrong, at least try to make something out of it. Remember that I don't hate you either."

Undoubtedly, if this were an anime, there'd be upbeat music and the scenery being waves crashing against a rocky shore at sunset.

The kid sniffed. "We'll meet again, right?"

"That's up to you. I might come around again…"

"So… goodbye?"

"Bye."

"…See you later!" The kid thus ran into his apartment and slammed the door.

Silence.

The Samurai stared at the door.

_I really just suck too much with kids…_With a sigh he stood back up and hopped onto the railing that made sure residents of the floor didn't fall off from stupidity. From there he easily felt chakra move to his feet before launching himself off the side of the building, onto the adjacent roof where he continued to hop from roof to roof to his intended destination. 

Hopefully it was still open…

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"WAIT! DON'T CLOSE UP YET!"

The owner of the comic book shop managed to stop closing the metal grating over his shop in time to keep the barrier from crushing the head of a cloaked man that somehow managed to slide in between at last minute.

"It's closing time. Come back tomorrow."

"I SHALL MAKE THE GREATEST OFFER THAT YOU WILL NEVER REFUSE!"

Somehow, that line worked.

"What?" The man asked, skeptical.

The man in the dirt turned around to face the shop owner with a serious eye patched face. "I heard this shop is the only one in all of Fire Country that still holds issues of "Super Shiny Spinny Attack"!

"That old manga?"

"Yes! That old manga!"

"What about it?"

"I want to buy every single copy you have!"

"Wait… what do you mean by every single copy?"

"I mean every single copy of "Super Shiny Spinny Attack" you have in stock. Not just 'one' or 'one of every volume', ALL OF THEM!"

"What are you going to do with all that? Do you even have the money?"

"As long as people buy it, then it means the series will keep on going!"

"But nobody reads it anyways. Besides, the plot's crap."

"I READ IT!" The eye patch man shouted back. "I've read it since the beginning. Many others did too! But ever since that bastard Jiraiya began writing that Icha Icha series, nobody reads Super Shiny Spinny Attack anymore! I have to keep that series ALIVE!"

The shop owner just stared. "…You're a freak, you know that?"

"Shut up! I have money! I am a customer! Treat your customers with respect or I'll summon giant robots to come out of the ground to shoot laser beams at you!"

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Minus all his savings for the past… all of his existence, the Samurai found himself pulling a cart ("Take it, there's no other way your going to carry all of this out of here") layered with issues volumes 17 to 359. To protect his investments from the elements, a tarp was pulled over the whole wagon. So far the journey was all fine dandy, considering not much could happen when you're carrying a cart full of valuables in a path surrounded dark forest outside a ninja village.

This all ended when the cart went over a bump.

"Oof!" went the cart.

The Samurai stopped.

_My cart just went ' oof'. If my hearing is right, then the noise is from left corner closest to me.The volumes stacked there are 90 to 110._

The Samurai was sure as hell none of the characters in Volumes 90 to 110 had a line that went 'oof'.

The tarp was flung off.

A frowning single dark eye stared back at the boy's own surprised blue pair.

"…uh…hi?" The child attempted.

"WHAT THE HELL? YOU'RE LYING ON MY VOLUMES! IT'S LATE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP RIGHT NOW!"

A few seconds later, it hit the Samurai.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I want to go with you!" The kid exclaimed.

"And when the hell did you get one without me knowing?"

The child grinned as he rubbed his nose "I'm from a ninja village, at least."

"Fair enough, but I can't take you along. You belong in that village."

"But I hate it there. Everybody hates me there! You're pretty much the only one who doesn't!"

The Samurai raised an eyebrow. "What 'bout that Ramen guy?"

"He only cares because I eat the most at his place."

"Kid, go back to the village. Remember what I told you. I thought you were going to do something about it." The Ronin sternly glared at the determined child. The sides of his cloak billowed out slightly as hands settled on hips.

"You said that if everybody hated me, I could run away!"

Blink, blink.

"…I did?"

"Yes!"

_Shit._

"Look kid, you've got a home, and at least a future there. You'll go to a ninja school… or whatever, and you'll be a ninja, live the rest of you life, so on and so forth. I just wander around, I got no home. There's nothing worth following me around for.

"But I want to go-"

"Kid! It's safer there than with- get down!" The Samurai's hands were immediately in motion as one pushed the child's head back under the side of the wagon while other caught a ninja Kunai in front of his face.

_SHIT!_

Immediately the wanderer threw the caught item in another direction where it disappeared into the forest darkness briefly before the forest disappeared as well in an explosion.

The child's head poked up. "What was that?"

"Shut up and stay down!" An older hand thrust the boy's head back under before his right arm slipped through the sleeve on his arm, where it then moved to grab the sheathed blade tied to his side under the cloak.

"Oi! Show yourselves, you bastards! I know you ninja prefer travel in packs."

While the statement was true, only one silver armor clad shinobi landed on a tree branch above the Samurai and the boy. The swordsman swore under his breath as he recognized the armor and mask.

_ANBU. Village's elite, trained for the biggest jobs._ "What do you want?"

"That boy belongs to the Hidden Village of Konoha. This is kidnapping."

"Hey! I didn't know he was with me either! I was telling him right now to go back!" The Samurai responded, annoyed.

"Then make this easy for yourself by giving us the child."

A sneer showed on the One Who Read's face. "On the other hand, I wouldn't trust him with you guys either…"

"What?"

"Why didn't you just ask politely first? I understand you ninja rather would not take risks… but that Kunai was wrapped with those Exploding Notes you ninja use. If I caught it and it exploded, it would probably have taken BOTH the kid and me. Planning an 'accident', were we? Saying that I resisted and that you overestimated the required strength?"

The ANBU on the tree branch snorted. "You don't even know what you're talking about, Samurai." The last word came out mockingly.

"I know that the adults in your village hate this guy a lot. But murdering a kid? Geez! And I was saying it was safer there than with me! Might as well be the other way around."

"…You don't even know what this…thing has done to our village. That boy is evil. It is only by our Hokage's wish he is still alive. I'll repeat myself one more time: The boy is to stay in Konoha. His threat to us is even greater if he leaves. Return him, or I will take him by force."

"I don't want to go back! Everybody hates me there! I'm not going back!" The boy shouted again, getting hysterical at the thought of his supposed freedom nearly gone by the wishes of the best ninja in the village.

The Samurai shouted back at the ninja in the trees, "Bitch! He sure as hell ain't going back to you guys! 'Take him back by force'? You'll probably 'accidentally' kill him by force! He's not going with you!"

The Shinobi made a disgusted noise before speaking up again, "Sparrow, now."

Chains suddenly sprouted from the earth, wrapping the Samurai, his cart and everything in it, leaving none of them able to move from their positions.

"Damnit…" The One Who Read mumbled as he pulled against his metal bonds. The boy was predictably exclaiming about what was going on, and how he couldn't move. The Samurai felt the presence of somebody behind him while a blade was pressed against his throat.

Most likely the one known as Sparrow chuckled, "Even my one of my weaker techniques already subdue you, Samurai. Your kind are truly outdated."

The Samurai snorted, "What's outdated is your realization you're missing that arm." With that the chains ceased to exist while Sparrow's arms sprayed red from lines all over. His backing away in pain was all the swordsman needed. A single twist and a double handed stroke downwards had the sword begin from the ANBU's right shoulder and reappear out of the lower left torso, a great dramatic mist of crimson flying out as the dying Shinobi staggered back and fell down.

"Sparrow! You… How did you-" The one on the tree began before the Samurai interrupted with his explantion.

"I can See. I saw from the beginning those chains were a Genjutsu, an illusion. I'm immune, in a way."

"Bastard… you just killed yourself. You don't even know how many there are of us."

"Actually, I see there are just the two of you. I can see a few Bunshin replications in the shrubbery around us, but those aren't tangible. It's just you and me. Of course there's the possibility you know how to make solid clones, but we can find out as we move along." With that, the he held his blade with both hands and spread out his legs.

"You smart piece of-" The Shinobi jumped off his perch and floated above his opponent. Reaching behind him, the ANBU ninja flung several shuriken down at the Samurai, his hands joining together into zodiac shapes. "Kaze Shuriken No Jutsu!"

The meek number of flying blades multiplied into a miniature storm above both warrior and child. The Ronin cursed just in time before jumping back, managing to pull the child out of the cart before the ninja stars literally shredded the wagon to pieces.

"You prick! That was all my invest-" The samurai turned to face in the last position of his opponent only to see him not there.

"He's gone!" The blonde child exclaimed.

"Of course he is! But that doesn't mean-URGH!" The sentence was cut off when something pierced through the Samurai's back, his lone eye widening in shock before in froze in time, the body falling down beside his shocked and younger companion. Behind him the remaining ANBU snorted.

"That ought to teach you to mess with ninja…" With that, the ninja's masked face turned to stare upon the horrified boy, who fell down and began backing away from the ninja.

From behind the white animal replica face a cold hatred emanated, "You caused me a lot of trouble, monster. Even in that form, you still kill people. It's because of you that my friend just died. It'll feel good for me to end this once and for all…" He raised a kunai above the shaking child.

"N-no…"

"Die."

"Actually, you should have noticed your kunai doesn't have any blood on it." The Samurai's voice cut in before a katana jammed itself into the ANBU's stomach from behind. From there a rough jerk ripped through the spine and out the other side of the back, leaving the ninja to drop while making a noise like he was grasping for air like a fish. Dropping by the Samurai's feet he noticed out of his blurry vision the former corpse's last position had a piece of wood lying in its place.

"Kawa…rimi? But… you're…. a samurai…"

"That means I don't kill people with ninja techniques. It doesn't stop me from adapting a little though. You underestimate us." Came the voice above.

With that, another downwards stab put the final enemy out of misery.

There was a pause before the boy spoke up again in surprise.

"You… you're alive."

"Yup…" The Samurai replied, facing away, as he pulled out a cloth to remove the blood on his blade.

"And… they're dead…"

"That's part of being a Samurai or a Ninja."

"But it was my fault!"

"Sure it was. But that doesn't make you special. Ninja and Samurai tend to kill each other over objectives. Documents, targeted people, so on."

Silence.

"Let me come with you. Please." The boy asked.

"I'm dropping you off at the first safe place we come across."

"NO! Let me go wherever you're going!"

"I'm going nowhere. I told you I just wander."

"I still want to go with you!"

"Kid, I don't take dead weight with me."

"I won't! …You can teach me!"

The Samurai turned around with a confused look. "Kid, do you even know what you're saying? You want to be trained as a Samurai?"

"You killed those ninja so fast though!"

"That's just a fluke. Ninja will always be superior to Samurai."

"Well I don't care! There's nothing for me back in Konoha! Train me!"

"Kid, there's no future in being a Samurai.

"Then why are you one?"

"Because…it was the right path for me…"

"Then maybe it's the right path for me too!"

"…"

"Please," The boy pleaded. "Let me go with you. You're the first person who really cared."

"…You understand that if I train you, you will lose one day."

"Yes."

"You're throwing your secure future as a ninja for an uncertain one of wandering."

"Yes!"

"And if you do train under me, I will hold you responsible for the loss of my manga over there, and you pay me until all of my lost investments are paid off."

"…yes?"

"Then I will train you."

"YEAH!"

The Samurai sighed as he pushed his blade back into his sheath.

"Kid, what's your name anyways?"

"Uzumaki Naruto. What's yours mister?"

"Inukage Tetsuya. But…"

"But?"

"From now on, you shall address me as… TETSUYA-SAMA!"

And so he did. For one hour of his entire remaining life. Collectively.

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Next Chapter- Naruto and Tetsuya chance upon a meeting of a female version of a character that nearly everybody in Naruto Fandom wish didn't die. You know who I'm talking about.


	2. Typical: It's Female!

(And if you must know, I have no experience with real sword fighting techniques. Or fighting in general. Except for kicking people when they're down. So yes, I'm bull shitting around. But then again, Kishimoto isn't exactly working in the realms of realism if he can have a guy beat the crap out of another guy by striking him 126 times in a span of a few seconds with just your TWO FINGERS WITHOUT BREAKING.)

**Typical: It's Female!**

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"SSSSSSSAAAFE!"

Despite mounting disbelief by the Naruto attached to his head, Inukage Tetsuya had successfully leaped the span of the entire river in one bound. Complete with cloak billowing out bad ass-like and everything.

And with that and two days of non stop running, the two Samurai had successfully made it across the border of Leaf territory into the buffer country between it and the Mist islands.

"Oi, Naruto. Get off; we're out of the immediate danger, so we can walk now instead of you mooching off my free ride."

"Hey sensei, how did you jump over that river? It was huge!" Naruto asked as he slid down his human perch.

"First, I told you to call me 'sama'. As for the question… eh... it's a bit complicated, but involves an energy in your body called Chakra."

"Chakra? What's that?"

"Like I say, complicated. I'll tell you the finer bits of it when have a place to sit down, but for now we still have to keep moving. Just not as fast."

With that the two moved side by side in an easy stride through the forest that slowly diminished in dimension, as compared to that monstrosity that was the Konoha forests. Still, Naruto was not exactly pleased.

"But then when are you going to train me?" The boy grumbled crossed his arms and shut his eyes in indignation.

_How the hell does he walk with his eyes closed?_ "The heavy stuff that requires concentration we'll do while we stay in Mist territory. I can start some basic exercises while we're moving though.

"Yeah!" Naruto jumped up with a cheer.

"Though granted, I don't really now how to train people."

This caught the boy's attention.

"WHAT!"

"Hey, I never thought I was going to train somebody. Especially some kid from a ninja place."

"But…but then how did you learn your stuff?"

"Well, it wasn't really training in the normal fashion… more like sparring with some Mist prick everyday in my childhood, so we ended up training each other at the same time. However, my lack of formal training doesn't mean I don't know where to start."

The katana was thrust into Naruto's arms, nearly causing him to drop the object before he managed to drag it up to a useful height.

"Sensei! What was that for?"

_Sensei again. Whatever_. "First, I'm going to take that piece of crap you call a body and turn it into something useful in a fight. Until we get to civilization again, I want you to carry that sword. Lift that sword above your head continually. If you get tired… take a break or something. Just not a billion year one."

"And what are you going to do?"

Tetsuya easily retrieved the now familiar, battered and brightly colored cover design of a manga. "I will be reading volume four of Super Shiny Spinny Attack to keep me entertained for the… whatever amount of times again. Once we stop and it gets late we'll get to something that actually involves fighting."

With that, a snap of his wrist had the book open up in the elder Samurai's exposed hand, which he held his article in front of him while he walked off first. Naruto, disliking the thought of the heavy work before the cool stuff, grumbled, but obediently began thrusting the sheathed weapon up and down.

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Not a bad teacher. Not exactly a good one either. But at least he followed through with that nightly thing Tetsuya said he'd do.

Of course for Naruto, his initial vision of what that something involving fighting wasn't as great as he thought. Sure it was drilling. Stances, attacking thrusts, how to step back from an attack without looking like an idiot before you die, and so on. But it was mostly repeating the same thing over and over while the one eyed ronin swatted Naruto with whatever sprig of branch he could find whenever the boy messed up slightly, shouting something like-

Swat. "God damnnit! Get those arms stiffer! If you cut at me like that it'd move at a snails pace and fall out of your hands while you paper cut me!"

"OW! Do you have to be so mean?" The trainee mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"YES! You asked for this!" Wise Master answered, waving his stick around his head like an idiot.

Which was true. The asking for it bit, I mean.

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"Hmm… it's snowing…" Tetsuya watched the white flecks fall and wet the pages of his comic. Sure, it had been getting pretty chilly the past few days in the forest, but to get out into a clearing to find himself in an already growing pile around his feet… is his biological timepiece working right?

_Feh, it's probably the work of some prick like Seasonal Wizard Vektar (Chapter 49, Volume 32)._

Well, at least they were back in civilization again, proved as the older Samurai looked down the frozen dirt path that led down to the coastal town. From there they could take a boat onto the islands that had heavy Mist nin presence. Leaf ninjas surely wouldn't go into such political fiasco to chase a mere samurai and kid in a place like this.

_Speaking of which…_ "Oi! Naruto! What's taking you so long? I'm at the town already." Tetsuya shouted back into the forest, annoyed that his student was taking his sweet time when they could take the same amount in the damn baths down the path.

"Really?" The lemon topped kid quickly appeared up the path, still hefting Tetsuya's blade up and down in exercise. Just as he passed by his mentor, Tetsuya plucked the katana out of Naruto's pumping arms, and with an artistic swirl, simultaneously hit the back of the boy's head again with his covered blade while slipping it back into the sash around his hips that usually held his weapon.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"The exercises stop for now. I can't have you running in the same fashion in town, lest you wish to be seen as an idiot."

Granted though, even with the momentary lack of training, the few days were already showing the beginnings of fitness in the youth's body. Still, one mustn't expect too much yet from a child of only five years.

Naruto mumbled something about brain cells as he looked at the town a little better, accustomed to the head bashings finally. "So we're going to Mist from here?"

"Yeeeahup. But a quick break here first. Plus we need something for you, considering this weather. Hell knows what's it like in the main island if it's already snowing here…"

-

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Wasn't quite a city, but it sure as hell wasn't a quiet town either… a towity? Never mind about the intricacies of life, though, more important things need to happen in a tailoring shop.

"Naruto, don't bother getting anything interesting. Just grab a jacket and let's go."

Mumble, mumble. Lemon top disappears around an aisle as Charcoal top stays at the entrance and reads.

Shortly, Lemon top returns to Charcoal top-Sama with some…thing.

"Orange?"

"It's cool!" Interested party attempts, holding article of something up for Sama to see.

"…Put that back. You don't know where that thing's been."

"But Sensei-"

"It's sama."

"-It's a jacket!"

"That will get you killed in the most humiliating manner possible. Stick to darker-"

Wise master paused as he noticed something noticeable change in the atmosphere.

Something malevolent.

_Could it be?_

Tetsuya looked at his student's eyes and noticed something wrong about them.

They were no longer blue. They were now… now…

"BASTARD! DARE YOU USE THAT TECHNIQUE ON ME?" Tetsuya shouted at the top of his voice and drawing his sword at his student, alarming everybody else in the shop, which mainly consisted of just the bored and apathetic guy who ran it.

The Samurai was unawares that Naruto was somehow capable of the "Sad-puppy-guilt-trip-look". Now it was being employed on the unsuspecting warrior. Those lively blue eyes were now bubbling over with crocodile tears that threatened to spill, while his lips were being chewed up in that oh so disgustingly cute manner…

_NO! NO! RESIST!_ Tetsuya's sword started shaking and perspiration started to build as the battle of attrition and will was fought.

_RESIEEEEEEEEEESSSST!_ But how could he? Knowing full well that if he won that that upset look would be forever ingrained in his mind, only solvable by having the face change to the adjacent emotion…

The sword was dropped as Tetsuya fell on his hands and knees.

"Impossible… how…how could I lose to such a technique… even with my training in Super Shiny Spinny Attack?"

"YEAH!"

-

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-

The teacher followed listlessly and downright pissed as he watched his orange-jacketed student trot in front of him like he was damn king of the world, all pleased and everything. Now that Naruto was all ready for the cold, the only thing left was to try out what the towity's delicacies could offer. When the matter was brought up in the tailoring place, the blonde brat immediately shouted the many uses of Ramen and how it helped changed history. Tetsuya over the racket, managed to throttle out of the Tailor the location of a worthy enough restaurant over looking the harbor.

Thus, the path they took, incidentally part of which crossed over a bridge that spanned a small (now frozen) stream.

It was here that was typical of fate, that just before they walked over, the two samurai were apprehended by some mean looking thugs. Naruto frowned at the sight of these leering men, but Tetsuya merely wrote them off as part of the job. Typically in the stories he read, the hero usually got apprehended early on by a few moronic (or perverted, if it was a heroine) thugs, whose chief purpose was to be beaten down by the hero with utter elegance, grace and skill. Every time.

"Oi, oi, I wouldn't suggest walking over that bridge." One of the punks said. Though there was a bit of a sneer, one could hear traces of sincerity in that tone.

"Really? Why? Is it because if we take that detour over there, it'd be easy for you guys to mug us? Since that route IS isolated and devoid of eyewitnesses." Tetsuya responded sincerely as well.

Enemies of society, for sure, but that doesn't mean you have to be hostile to them. The group laughed good-heartedly while Naruto looked on a little confused.

"Nah, we may be dishonest in our trade, but not in our words. Its just part of our duty to warn people about that bridge."

"Really? What's about it?" Tetsuya asked to his peers.

Naruto, being of literally lower stature, decided to forgo the conversation and check the bridge from his current position. To the boy, there was nothing wrong about it. The only thing that could be of interest was the figure that was sitting on it.

"A monster resides in our village. Generally, it's too powerful to kill, but if we can ignore it, it'll starve to death." One of the thugs explained.

"Really? So it's on the bridge right now?"

"Yeah, so nobody tries to get near that thing. It's a hassle, sure, but if we're lucky the monster might leave."

Naruto squinted to get a better fix on the figure on the bridge, completely oblivious to the random murmurings of the adults above. The person on the bridge seemed a bit a bit too small to be an adult… it looked almost like a kid his age…

"Geez, man that means I'll have to take the long way… are you guys not really going to rob us?"

"Well…not really. We could tell right away from your looks you ain't even worth much to rob."

Naruto looked up, just to check where the attention of his sensei was fixed.

"Really? What 'bout this sword?"

With that, the boy took one step towards the bridge, and checked back on Tetsuya.

"Nah… ain't a brand name. Looks like some cheap store thing."

"Oi, oi! Now that's just rude to call the soul of the samurai a cheap store thing!"

With that, a Lemon top dispersed from the crowd of idiots. Pacing quickly up the length of the bridge, he quickly found himself facing his like-wise aged peer. It was a rather miserable looking child, a charcoal top like his teacher, whose face was pressed into its hugged knees. On its back were these thin pieces that were once viable pants and a shirt. Of course, considering this whether, thin pieces that were once viable pants and a shirt does not give much defense to the annual threat of bloody wintry freezing death by various household diseases and unnatural raises or drops in average human body temperature.

It was around the time you read 'Of course' that the miserable knee-hugging child noticed the new presence in front of him on the bridge hadn't passed by yet. So looking up, he found himself staring up at the boy in an orange jacket.

"…Who are you?" The miserable looking child asked.

"Uzumaki Naruto. You?"

"Haku…"

"Just Haku? What about the family name?"

"I don't have a family…" With that, miserable kid stuck its face back into its knees. Naruto was perplexed by the logic of lack of family names.

"That's weird… They gave me one when I went to the orphanage…"

Haku didn't respond to that. Still, Naruto continued.

"Hey, Haku. Is this bridge safe?"

Haku looked up in surprise at the question. The surprised expression translates in English to "You're on the bridge already, do you have to ask when you can see for yourself?"

Despite that, the boy without his family named asked "what?"

"You know, 'cause those guys over there said something like that." Naruto pointed the four men beside the bridge. Apparently the conversation had moved from the quality of the two samurai, if robbed, to the superiority of Super Shiny Spinny Attack over the Icha Icha novels.

"They were probably talking about me." Haku explained.

"Huh?"

"Around here, I'm a monster."

"Monster? That means…"

(Angst mode on) "All alone-"

"That's so cool!"

Miserable, now extremely surprised kid looks up… surprised. "What?"

"Yeah, I was surprised too. I thought I was the only one that everybody hated… but you're all alone too! Like me and Tetsuya-sensei!"

Around here, Tetsuya bade his farewells to his would be attackers. "So then, Naruto time to… huh? Naruto, where'd you- OH MY GOD!"

Naruto turned to see a tower of cloth with a one eyed head on top rush over to the two children. With a twist of his foot, the older samurai easily slid to a halt beside his student.

"Agh! You idiot! What are you thinking? Do you realize a dangerous monster is currently residing on this bridge? And-"

Naruto gave a sort of blank face and pointed at the Haku. Tetsuya followed until eye contact was established between the two.

"…Oi, kid what are you doing here? Do you realize a dangerous monster is currently residing on this bridge?"

"Um…sensei… that's the monster."

"Really? Man… that's really cool! For a while I was wondering if us two were the only ones that people called monsters…"

"You too, sensei?"

"That's sama, Naruto."

Haku just sorta stared. Perhaps this was all a giant delusional nightmare the kid was suffering from while in truth Haku was actually near death?

"But, it's still a hassle." Tetsuya agreed to himself as a hand from his cloak rubbed his chin.

"What is?" Naruto asked.

"Because a monster resides at this bridge, we are unable to pass…"

"What? But it's just Haku! And we're on the bridge already!"

"Hey! As Samurai…Ronin…whatever, we should at least follow some guidelines! If we didn't everything we stand for will fall into chaos, like those Ninjas! Look at them! They're weird! I mean, who calls buying groceries a mission…"

"Sensei…"

"However, this beast that blocks our path is merely an obstacle that can be defeated… therefore…"

Tetsuya pointed a finger with such reverence and energy at Haku that the kid moved back from the action and bumped his head against the railing of the bridge.

"YOU! Have a meal with us!" Was the command.

Again, Haku went, "Huh?"

"Look at you… you look like a corpse. Everybody says you're a monster, and that they can't cross over the bridge. But the monster is a brat I can tip over with a finger. Not scary at all. A mediocre monster for people with mediocre fears. That's why I'm gonna clear off this bridge, and take you out for a meal. At least one bowel of noodles-"

"Ramen!" Naruto suggested.

"-like Ramen, should be enough to make you look presentable enough. Really, who wants to be afraid of a brat…" Tetsuya mumbled to himself as he began to wander off the bridge.

Naruto turned a grin to his once-miserable-once-surprised-still-totally-confused comrade. "So Haku, let's go!" Grabbing a pale wrist, the younger samurai dragged his companion off the bridge with him.

Nearby, in the shadows of the buildings, two figures watched the ending exchange.

"It's been rumored that the child is an outcast because he carries Bloodline, Commander."

"That sounds useful to me. I want that power."

"Yes, Commander."

-

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-

"Bloodline Limit? What's that?" Naruto said, obviously oblivious to this new idea. If you must know, he was eating a Lobster dish that in no way, the three of them could pay in a… hell knows how long.

Monster or no monster, Haku had a very special gift. Despite his mediocrity, his presence was so horrible the restaurant they were in currently was filled only half way, straight down in middle. One half had all these pissed off regular customers looking at the other side of the restaurant, the empty side, which seated the two Samurai and the pretty mediocre kid. The moment they entered with Haku, the spot they sat in had everybody in the other surrounding tables storm out. So Tetsuya, being the damn leech he was, was taking the partially eaten dishes around them and piling them onto their table. ("Doesn't matter, it's on their tab anyways.")

"You don't know, Naruto? It's right here." Tetsuya mumbled out of his drumstick planted in his mouth. 'Right here' apparently was the Super Shiny Spinny Attack comic he pulled out of his crème mantle. "Some fatass named Lucky Big had something like it in chapter 9, volume 72"

Naruto made a face at the cover. "That doesn't explain anything…"

"It's an inborn ability that's passed down by the family." Haku told quietly, "Because it can be used as a weapon, everybody here hates people with Bloodline Limits. It's the reason why my family is dead."

Naruto sort of looked sad there.

"Oh… that's pretty bad…" Tetsuya nodded to himself as he continued to drape himself across the back of the chair.

For a few minutes the conversation was killed. The older samurai didn't really know why, so he decided to move to the next relevant thing.

"Say, Haku. Why do you talk like a girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you do talk with all them 'atashi's 'n stuff. What's with the feminine talk?"

"Don't you care my family is dead?"

"Well… yeah… but my family is dead too… and Naruto doesn't have any family, and we've been pretty alright so far, so I don't think you'll find too much pity from us."

Maybe it was the food, but Haku sure was being livelier than his previous emancipated form. Anyways, the kid huffed in annoyance, "If you must know, I talk like a girl because I am one."

Tetsuya raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"…You lie."

"What? Why would I lie about me being a girl?"

"I don't know! But I just can't see you as a girl. You just look more like a man to me…"

Naruto being himself, was generally perplexed "But… Haku looks like a girl. What makes you think she looks like a man?"

" 'Cause Haku looks like a girl!"

Silence.

Sighing from the obvious doubt, Tetsuya explained, "It's like this. I've traveled around a lot. I've probably been all over this continent at least two or three times over. Every single time I've been in a conversation with a crowd, the effeminate one is always a guy. Every single time. I've seen so many effeminate males in my time, I came to wonder about two things. One is how mankind will continue to reproduce if everybody is turning gay. Second is at the rate I'm seeing so many effeminate males, it will only be a matter of time before I see a masculine female. Hell, the only way I can tell if an effeminate person is a girl is if she got boobs. But even then, I wouldn't be surprised if one day we'll invent some crazy thing that puts boobs on men, too. These are truly dark times we live in…"

Silence.

Haku still spoke up, "But I AM a girl!"

"Bloodline, huh… maybe her power is to cause insanity by the confusion of her gender…"

"Hey!"

"Sensei!"

-

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-

Perhaps it was fate. Most likely it was fate. Since the hero failed to first time to beat the crap out of the moronic thugs with utter elegance, grace and skill, one could suppose the system would never rest until such event was fulfilled. Thus:

"Seriously Naruto, I don't see why you have to defend her." Tetsuya grumbled as the three left the restaurant that faced the shore side. Setting down the path, the samurai, along with their monstrous guest found the path halted by two rather unruly looking individuals.

The two of them both wore headbands with a metal plate on them. The markings being four waving lines, they were Mist ninja. The one in the back was pretty ugly. Along with his forehead thingus, a metal horn was attached to forehead plate and a gas mask covered his jaws. He wore a black and rough cloak over his brown army colors. On the right fore arm was a heavy cylindrical device that ended with clawed hand.

The second guy, in the front wasn't as descriptive, but still ugly. His forehead protector was askew, the village symbol against one temple, and the tails of the long bandanna coming from the other side. Like the other guy's gas mask, lots of bandaging went over the guys lower face and neck, so not much to see there. The vest and uniform meant that he was at least a ninja Jounin, putting him at the top of the traditional ninja military, untraditionally meaning if you factored in the generally desk job pervasive Kage and rank pervasive ANBU. Oh yeah, and there was that phenomenally huge sword on his back.

"Er…" Tetsuya pushed his right arm through the sleeve of his cloak to scratch his head, "Are you here to rob us?"

"What?" The Jounin one raised his… bit of skin that once had an eyebrow on it, upwards at that question.

" 'Cause, there were some guys at the bridge who were thinking of mugging us, and you two look kinda unruly enough to be muggers, so I was just wondering…"

The guy behind the Jounin stepped forward with a bit of a growl-hiss "Bastard! Are you insulting us?"

While the tension was enough to drown Haku and Naruto, Tetsuya just absent-mindedly pondered with a finger to his head, "Maybe… insulting people is sometimes useful when you're fighting, I've been told."

The Jounin snorted, but pointed a finger at the group, "We want that kid."

"Kid?" The Samurai looked behind him to where to finger was pointing to see Haku. "Haku? But, she ain't mine, so how are you going take her from me?"

_…Is this guy an idiot?_ The gas mask guy could not help but wonder at how clueless this man was turning up to be. The Jounin kept on the issue.

"Hand the child over to us. We're not going to see talent like that get wasted on some washed up fossil like you."

"Hey! Don't call my sensei that! I should kick your ass for that!" The five-year-old student angrily waved his fist at the two.

"Oi! Naruto! When did you learn to swear like that?"

He didn't get a response, but then again, the answer would be probably wasted as well on that washed up fossil. So Tetsuya moved on to the issue. "Well, personally I wouldn't mind giving up an orphan to a friendly organization so that the kid has a future…"

"Sensei!"

"But talent also gets wasted if the kid going, doesn't want to go, you know?" Tetsuya raised his hand with a shrug.

"So what do you suggest then?"

With that he sucked in a large portion of breath and turned to his companions.

"Haku…"

"Yes?"

"If you become a ninja there are marvelous amount of benefits considering your skills and if you do become one you will get to do things like learn how to fly through the air and summon giants robots to come out of the ground to shoot laser beams at people and live in giant underground fortresses fill full of treasure and beautiful women or men in your case and get paid inordinate sums of money for trivial tasks like finding lost pets and buying groceries for rich people which is no problem since you will learn how to fly through the air and stick to walls and other crazy shit and if you do become a ninja you will gain a large amount of respect among your peers since you have the amazing ability to kill at will and will live in luxury covered in gold and surrounded by whatever is your pleasing in a hot bath with funny little water jets that spray pressure at you and stuff while you become part of a powerful military that has the power to conquer countries and perhaps one day you get to assume the title of Kage which makes you one of the most powerful people in the continent and-"

There Tetsuya ran out of air, and reduced himself to a few hacking dry coughs before turning a sheepish grin to the girl. "So, how about it?"

"Even if I went, there's nothing there for me. I'd be too different. They are ninja. I'm just a monster, with no future belonging to me. I belong with other monsters…" Haku quietly replied

Silence.

_"Psst."_

Naruto heard a sound above his head and turned up to find nothing that could have made the noise. Tetsuya near to him didn't seem to notice.

_"Psst, Naruto!"_

Wait a second… that whisper sounded like-

_"NaruTO! Up hheeeere!"_

Naruto looked up, the only thing up there being Tetsuya's head. But then he noticed Tetsuya's lone eyeball gazing intently into him, while the rest of the body was stock-still to disguise the fact he was whispering.

"_Whisper Naruto!"_

_"What?"_

_"What did she say?"_

_"Haku?"_

_"Yes, Haku! What did she say?"_

_"You don't understand?"_

_"She's talking in angst! I don't understand that language! What did she say?"_

_"You can be really rude sometimes, sense-"_

_"TRANSLATE! NOW!"_

_"She said no."_

_"No?"_

_"She said she wanted to go with us."_

_"SHE WHAT?"_

"So you'd rather go with the monsters, huh?" The Jounin chuckled, turning the two samurais' attention to him, "That's fine…"

"Really?" Naruto exclaimed.

"…I needed to stretch my legs anyways…"

"Stretch…your legs?" Tetsuya raised the eyebrow this time in confusion.

"I'll just kill the two of you here, and then take Haku. Those two cute little monsters won't stand up to the Demon of the Mist." The Jounin with a voice that was a ninja winning combination of acid, steel, and ice, while his right arm reached for the handle of his large blade.

_Shit! So things are going this way again. Ninjas…_ "Naruto!"

"Sensei!" The rebellious student took full responsibility of his role, now danger had arrived again.

"I know there's a ferry or something around here to leave this town across the water. Find that, get across. I'll hold them off here and catch up later. However, one of them is still going to follow you. Whatever you do, don't fight them. Just run. You still not trained enough to handle people like these. However, if you must fight, just stick the drills, don't be show off, and use this-"

Some small metal thing was thrown to Naruto, who frantically fumbled to catch it.

"What's this?"

"It's called a kunai. It works."

"But sensei! It's so short! Look at the size of their weapons!"

"Shut up and run!" Tetsuya angrily shouted back.

Naruto stiffened up at the sight of the serious teacher, before just nodding resolutely and grabbing Haku by the wrist again, before the two of them ran off.

"Wha-WHAT? Wait! I didn't say take Haku with you, you idiot! Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Sensei shouted at the two disappearing figures.

"Shut up sensei!" came the return call from the distance.

_The nerve of that… how dare he back talk to me…_

"Tch, how heroic." The Jounin snorted before turning to the gas mask guy. "You two. Get the kid back. Kill the blonde if you want."

"Yes, Commander." The gas mask guy easily hopped onto the roof before surging across the top of the town, chasing the two children.

"So… I guess we're gonna fight, huh?" Tetsuya drawled while his sleeved arm grasped for the katana and pulled it out.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to get through you first before I get that brat…" A blur of motion transferred the sword toting ninja to the water, where some force held him on its surface without falling through. Both hands folded into seals, but did not join. Immediately water began flaring up around him.

"Ninpou: Kirigakure no Jutsu…"

From the ocean, a fog suddenly fell over everything surrounding the Samurai.

"DAMNIT! You cheap bastard! What the hell is that sword used for then?"

-

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-

"Ferry? Aw, are you lost sweetie?" The woman said, with those annoyingly cuddly voices that Naruto just didn't have time for. This day, the boy learned the two things that were detrimental in his survival as a samurai. The first was his age. Though it was at times useful to be young (like getting that jacket of his), this wasn't one of those times.

The second was dead weight. As cruel as it was, Naruto could see why his teacher didn't want the blonde to follow him. Looking guiltily out of the corner of his eye, he saw Haku, thin and weary, frantically catching her breath next to him.

"We don't have time for that, Haku and I need to get to the ferry!"

"Wait a second isn't that…" The woman momentarily inspected the child before cuddly turned for horrified. "It's the MONSTER! Get it away from me!"

Door slam. Like every other house in the street.

"Damnit! We'll just have to do this the old fashioned way! Come on!" Naruto dragged his companion forward just in time for the both of them to miss a man-sized blur ripping through front of the house they just finished with, complete with the occupant within screaming at the explosion. The two of them looked back and followed the bladed chain up to its owner, the gas mask shinobi with the clawed gauntlet. Grabbing the chain, the mist ninja jerked back with enough force that the object that planted itself inside the house was pulled out, landing on part of the roof behind him.

"Shit! Here we go!" Despite the three years difference between the two, a frantic Naruto easily picked up Haku and ran (if you must know, by the back and the knees. Wedding style. It's both economical and efficient, given the situation.). Even with a larger object to carry, it was very lucky of Naruto that Tetsuya's sword was probably heavier than Haku, and he carried that for longer.

So while the samurai ran, the ninja followed along the roofs, throwing forward his gauntlet arm over and over, the chained object attached to it flying about, crashing into everything around Naruto, and often barely missing clipping the top of his head off as he ducked continually. Eventually the chained weapon crashed into the ground in front of him with enough force to kick up dust around the explosion. Out from it came another clawed fist that thrust itself towards the blonde samurai's face.

Only instinctual reflexes (from being raised in a ninja village) managed to back Naruto's face away from the claws before falling on his back, simultaneously throwing his companion of him, who rolled a few more feet away. Pushing himself up with his hands, he saw the claw belonging to a nearly identical gas mask wearing mist ninja; only this one was devoid of a cloak. Connected to his gauntleted left arm was the bladed chain.

_There were two of them?_

Something heavy landed behind Naruto then, and the chain was snapping to life already, the metal snaking around the boy's torso and arms before pulling him up from the ground. While he kicked around at the air, the two mist-nin gave sneering laughs.

"What's the matter kid? Afraid of dying?"

"Pah! I feel like we're giving you too much mercy by killing a useless wimp like you."

_I… I can't die here! Not when Sensei and Haku need me! I just need that wall…_

All he needed was that foot to reach the side of the building next to him. But just an inch or two too far…

"Let's get this over with and get that brat back to the commander."

_NO!_

"First-"

"-Kill!"

-

-

-

_There!_ Tetsuya ducked under the wide swing of the blade before stabbing backwards, easily piercing the weapon into the ninja's stomach, only to find the body to be 100 water, not 70. The water clone fell apart.

_Missed…_ Came the glum thought before catching something out of the corner of his eye.

_THERE!_ Leaping forward, Tetsuya lashed out to catch a surprised gasp before his vision found a roof and the Jounin on it that just dodged. A few more well placed cuts that missed put enough ground between the two so that the Samurai could slide into an even stance again, rather than run around and swing like at idiot.

"You… how can you see through this mist?"

"Oi, oi. Just because I'm half blind doesn't mean I can't See."

"Hmph… you're better than I expected."

"Come on! You're just going to leave and have a water clone distract me? Where's the fun in that? Come on, kill me for real! Or are you afraid that Haku is really going to get away?"

"Fine… I'll have fun cutting you to pieces with this knife…" Grabbing his the long handle of his 'knife' he threw the heavy blade onto the ground, which cracked an intimidating blast of air. Grabbing the weapon with both hands, the jounin flew forwards in a typical ninja hunch.

_Hey, that's pretty fast. Pretty small initial target too. However, it looks like he's making that amateur mistake…_Tetsuya decided as he slowly readied his swung his weapon into an attack.

To the Jounin who was about to cut his target in two, he found the Samurai's blade rising above his head for a slow chop before it suddenly reappeared in his vision suddenly spearing towards his face. Shocked the Jounin managed to stop and jump away before giving a wide swing to fend off the attack. The follow up didn't come.

"H-how did you move that fast?"

"You know, the hole on that cleaver is there for a reason…"

"What?"

"It's to measure distance so you aren't hitting the air in front of your enemy when you swing. Honestly, why do you think that sword of yours is so long? So you can reach farther than the enemy. Unfortunately, you're probably thinking 'I'm so strong that I can lift this sword, I can take anybody on', thus you get arrogant and try to get close. When you get close I become much faster than those wide swings of yours."

"Wh-what the hell do you know? You never saw this sword before anyways!"

Tetsuya snorted. "There you go with your superior ninja thinking… if you must know, that's a training sword given to ninja who have been elected to be a member or succeeding member of the Mist's Seven Swordsmen."

The ninja stifled in his growls at being read straight through.

"But don't worry! I'm sure it's a common mistake to think that muscle strength leads to superiority."

"You… how do you know all this? Who trained you? Samurai shouldn't know this!"

"That's what they think" came the haughty sneer, "The one who taught me to fight used that type of sword too, but he was only a Genin when he was elected…"

"Only a Genin… Wait a minute, **him**?" The Jounin expression turned angry.

"Oh, so he did something bad while I was gone?"

"To think that someone is affiliated with that man, the one who made a laughing stock of our village… looks like I stumbled upon a good day after all…" A blood crazed look overcame the bandaged face as he grabbed his cleaver in both hands again, and charged forwards.

"Oh-ho! Look at this! I made the ninja angry! Come on!" The Samurai taunted as he held himself sideways and paced towards the flying metal wing of death.

-

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"No! Let Naruto go!" Haku grabbed arm of the closest ninja, being the one in the cloak. With the extra weight to an already heavy weapon on his arm, the ninja lost the strength to pull back fast enough to rip the boy apart, though it did jerk some and left some gashes, from which the boy cried out from.

"Damn kid! Get off!" The ninja still had enough arm strength to swing his arm about with enough force to throw Haku off, knocking her against the side of the building. The force of the swing was enough to jangle the attached chain, swinging the boy samurai forward with enough force that he could kick off against the side of the building he so wished for. With that force, he easily twisted around and upside down, the chains encircling him falling loose as he fell out and into a roll.

"Damnit! He fell out! Kill him!" The cloaked one ordered to his connected partner. With simultaneous swings, their clawed arms whipped around the chain between them, bringing the bladed length towards the recovering boy. Naruto barely brought up his kunai in time to bounce the blade off, while the force blew Naruto away with a cry, until he also crashed against the side of a house in the street too. He didn't get up.

"Hmph. Too easy." The cloaked gas mask guy muttered before turning to his brethren, "You kill the boy, I'll get the girl."

"Fine."

It was when that ninja approached the still form for a final stab when they felt something noticeable change in the atmosphere.

Something malevolent.

_What the-_ While the two looked around for source of the darkness, the ninja that was supposed to off the boy noticed his quarry standing up, head lolling down. It seemed that everything evil was originating from this brat.

"Wh-what are you?"

No response.

"Damnit! You're just a kid!" With that, the ninja reassured himself of victory as he swung down his weapon at Naruto with all his might. Even at that speed, the boy somehow sidestepped the attack without even looking. Before he knew it, one small hand had completely immobilized one arm while another grabbed his throat, with enough force to stop normal breathing, leaving a few tattered gasps here and there.

"Damn ninja…" The boy muttered, before staring the shinobi straight in the eye "**STOP TRYING TO HURT MY FRIENDS!"**

The ninja only looked in shock as he found everything evil borne in those eyes no longer blue, but torn out with nothing but the red of blood to see, cat's eyes like a demon was peering through a suit of a human boy.

The sight was promptly ended when a fist in his face and a blur of motion became all he saw. While that ninja flew through the streets like a thrown kunai, his brother, who watched, barely had time to register what was happening before swearing and attempting to detach the chain that connected the human projectile to him. Too slow though, and the other got picked up by the chain and flew through the air towards a demon child and his waiting fist.

_Shit!_

Crack.

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_He's pretty good, he's got the speed to keep up with me._ Tetsuya agreed as sweat flew off his head. He stepped forward into a duck as a swing went over him before he twisted around to the Jounin's side exposed from the swing. The ninja managed to intercept in time with the end of the handle that clashed with the katana tip.

A sudden wash of evil suddenly fell over them, originating further inside the town. Tetsuya twisted his head to the felt source of malevolency in surprise.

_What the fuck was that?_

"Ha! You got distracted samurai! You lose!" The Jounin laughed as his chain of seals ended on the position of Bird.

_Shit! Just like a ninja to do that and be right!_

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!" From the shore side, a giant sea serpent made of water exploded from the depths and hovered a few seconds before Tetsuya before it dived at him with enough force to smear him across the ground as a several month long stain.

"So we're ending this with one last move huh! Fine!" The Samurai moved all the chakra he could into his sword as he held it above him while the serpent closed in.

"DIE!" The Jounin shouted.

Just as the watery fangs nearly engulfed the samurai, he cut down with a blast of air so strong it traveled down the length of the Suiryuudan, cutting it in two, the resulting blast of water and air forcing back the Jounin and soaking everything around the battlefield.

As his vision cleared he saw the katana flying blade first towards him like a projectile. With a hiss he managed to reach out and catch the handle just before the metal in front of it plunged into his belly.

Ping.

A kunai following in the blind spot of the katana slammed into the back of the handle, and the wet sword slid out of the Jounin's grasp and actually into his belly, the tip coming out of his back.

One step back, then two, then the Jounin fell down. Tetsuya kept a straight face as he walked over to his enemy, who sputtered and coughed.

"Damn…damnit…" The Jounin mumbled, before giving a hoarse cry of pain as the blade was pulled out of him. The Samurai crouched down to get his face close to the ninja.

"You're a tough ninja. You should be able to live through that wound. Sorry about it, but I'm going to have to put this fight on hold for a while. I don't like that evil chakra coming out of nowhere when my student is not around me… so until then, later!" The Samurai quickly flicked the excess blood of his sword before sheathing it, and ran off quickly, hopping from one roof to another after his student.

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It was not long after Tetsuya ran off that the evil tension in the air dissipated. Still he was damn lucky to find slightly bloody Naruto blankly staring up into the sky, with two ninja several meters away, unconscious. The older samurai dropped off the roof and ran to his student.

"Naruto! What happened?"

"Sensei… I think I really am a monster…"

"…What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know!" The boy whined and he threw up his arms in frustration, causing him to lose his balance, barely held up with one unsteady step. "I'll think about it… later." The boy closed his eyes and fell down just in time to be caught by his teacher.

"Agh! Naruto! What the fuck?" The teacher mumbled to himself. Now what?

_I suppose I'm going to have to carry him now…_With a sigh he pulled the unconscious student into a piggyback before walking down the street. Soon enough he met up with the equally out of commission Haku.

_And what do I do with her?_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Damnit! How the hell do I carry two people at once?_

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Next Chapter: The requirement is fulfilled. The gang wastes a chapter and thirty minutes to an hour of your life in a detailed account on the intricacies of training to be a samurai.

A/N: If you must know, I'm using Haku's filler Bloodline, meaning the one that is the manipulation of water. (Rant here about manga purists and how they're SO sure that Haku's Bloodline is super speed or mirrors, or that justu, or whatever other thing ). As far as I'm concerned, I want to use this one in my story, plus Kakashi went "Oh no, he's got a Bloodlimit", and left the thing at that. So what am I supposed to know? Anyways it's late here, and I didn't expect to write so much. Oh well. I suppose I'll worry about grammar and stuff at another time, but I really want to get this out as soon as I finished it.


	3. Typical: The Long Training Sequence

Le1: Though I should hold respect for people, I should note that this is my story. I cannot merely bend to the wills of people's interests; otherwise the story stops being a story and becomes an interactive online MUSH, which I believe is the term. However, you should at least take solace in that I do not write romantic works, or at least have no prior experience in them. On the other hand… just see what happens in a few arcs…

Sheo Darren: A common plot gag many writers I've seen use is making Haku a female. This fic will also be using that gag.

Nantukoprime: The current arc "Typical", deals with the obvious rehashed parts of Naruto fanfiction. Afterwards, other points of reused ideas might be noted, but most likely not as obviously. I was not aware a "kooky OC" is considered a consistently reused plot point. Most male OC characters I've met are usually know-alls who seem to be a little too "great" to be interesting. They vary, but tend to be flat to me. Female OC characters are a little different; most of the ones I have met do have some "kookiness", but relatively remain in the scope of being PMS psychos who carry mallets around.

**Typical: The Long Training Sequence**

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_This is the personal training log of Uzumaki Naruto. I'm mostly writing this because I'm bored, but when I become a great Samurai like Sensei, I should leave something so more people can know how I became so._

_Anyways, I started writing this in the year of the (Text damaged here), and I'm five right now. I don't really have too much paper on hand, and I think Sensei wouldn't like it if I used his comics…Man, don't want to resort to writing on floor boards… Speaking of which, I should introduce my friends._

_My teacher is Inukage Tetsuya. I would like to say he's cool. But he's actually mostly weird. At least he's much better than the people back in my village. He likes to read lots of comics, and keeps talking about them all the time. It gets really annoying at times. He's also a really cool Samurai. He can easily fight ninjas on equal ground, even with all their techniques. Still, I wonder why he's so insistent that Samurai always lose. _

_My other friend is Haku. She's really nice! It seems like everyone in her village hated her too, but at least they had a reason why. For some reason in my village, I wasn't too different from anybody else, but everybody still hated me… Oh, yeah, Haku has something called a Bloodline Limit. It's some sort of special power only her family has. Personally, I think it's pretty cool. Oh yeah, Tetsuya-sensei still thinks Haku looks like a man. I think he's being a long-term pervert or something, saying he's only sure she's a girl if she gets breasts in the next few years. Definitely a long-term pervert._

_I should tell you how I ended up being taught by sensei, and everything important before I began writing this. It started when I was in my village. One day I met sensei. He was really mean at first, hitting me, but he ended up being really nice afterwards, paying for my dinner. So I told sensei my problems. He just said if I hated it here, I should just run away (he forgot later, but the important thing is that he said it). So I did. Anyways, I snuck into some of sensei's belongings, but he found out anyways. After that, some ninja attacked us, but sensei beat them really easily. Afterwards I convinced him to take him with me as his student, and then he picked me up and ran as fast as he could away from the village._

_Later we ended up trying to take a boat to the place where Mist ninja lived. On the way we found Haku. Again, sensei said some strange things that he probably will forget about, but it led to us taking Haku to a meal as well. After that, again, ninja attacked us. While sensei fought one, I had to fight another and protect Haku at the same time._

_Heh, heh, I suppose that makes me greater than sensei, then?_

_It was kind of weird when I fought that one ninja though. For a moment I was about to die, then everything sort of turned…red…all I knew was I was getting tired of ninja attacking my friends. After that I sort of saw sensei and then I fell unconscious…_

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"Oi, Naruto. Get up. People don't stay unconscious for that long, you know." A hand came over Naruto's still face before patting it with the back of the hand a few times with firm strokes. Slowly the boy's vision turned from nothing to eye-sand blurry, before rubbing such sand away finally cleared it to normal vision. He found that he was sitting up already, Tetsuya's cloak fallen to his lap. Its owner was beside the boy, looking at him with a lazed face before turning back to the fire in the pit in front of him, one hand holding his comic as usual. Devoid of the monstrous cloth that swamped him, in contrast the black vest hugged his body was left, showing his unexpectedly lithe body and muscles that wrapped his arms in a string. Not over muscled, but it was there. By his seated position, his lone blade lay on the wood floor.

Looking around further, Naruto looked around past the samurai. Upon his inspection he could see that the two were in some sort of meager hut in pitiful condition. The only lighting in the place, in fact, was the fire in the pit in the center of the room. At least that part was still functional in this excuse of a livable wooden box.

"…Sensei… where are we?" Naruto mumbled out of his sleepiness.

"On a small island in Mist territory. Lived in, but not of major notice. We're in a house on the far end of the island. Apparently somebody once lived here, but he either moved out or died. Nobody really notices this place."

"What happened to Haku?"

Tetsuya pointed ahead of him. The boy samurai looked to see the huddled form, breathing lightly as something orange covered her. Looking down on himself, Naruto noticed he was out of his jacket, and back to wearing just his black T-shirt.

"She's been doing nothing but sleeping and eating for the most part. She's mostly exhausted, and hardly eating before we met her isn't helping." The lone eyed warrior explained.

"Oh…Sensei… why is my jacket on Haku?"

"Because I figured it'd be rude of you to have two warm things covering you when she just has those… rags."

"Why not just put your cloak on her?"

"Because by the time I had my cloak on you, I just remembered about Haku, but I was already done with my handy work, so I just pulled the jacket off you."

"…I'll just not question your logic as long as your training works…"

"Good."

Outside the wind blew and shook the wooden door against its sliding rails.

"Hey, sensei."

Sensei mumbled something about the suffix 'sama' again before answering in a, "Yes?"

"What's going to happen to Haku?"

"I 'un know. I've got half a mind to just stick her in a safe place like I was going to do with you."

"Sensei!"

"I know! I know! She said she wanted to go with us. But look, here, that means I'll have to train her too!"

"Well?"

"If I went and trained every pitiful outcast orphan you decided to chance upon, I might as well be building an army of samurai!"

"…So?"

"If I went and made such army, then every damn nation would be thinking I'm trying to overthrow the world or something, then I'll never have any peace and quiet, just because you decided to pick up every stray brat you see!"

"But you can't just leave Haku!"

"I know, I know!" Tetsuya gave another drawling sigh of discontent for his conscience being a stupid, uptight, civilized bastard.

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_…So, actually, I'm writing this all down after I woke up again. After that, Sensei told me that I should pray to the Divine System (Another thing from that comic) that I would never meet another homeless kid again. I guess he's just not used to being with people._

_Anyways, it was night when all that happened, so I just slept some more. Sensei was probably reading that book still. Next day Haku woke up as well, so training continued._

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Before any varying form of unconsciousness could take them again, sensei dragged the two children out of their beds. Out in the clearing around and in the back of the hut the three stood. The two kids stood as patiently as they could while Tetsuya paced around a little, his covered blade resting across his shoulder as he prepped himself for speech. Eventually a cough caught the attention of Haku and Naruto.

"Alright, due to peculiar circumstances, I decided, Haku, that you can stay around as long as you like. Because that Bloodline of yours should be at least useful for…cooking… or something…"

"But, you don't even know what-"

"I don't care! Apparently a Bloodline is synonymous with nuking half the Shinobi Nations, so I'm sure you can at least use it to…chop wood…or something… Anyways, but like I told Naruto, I don't drag deadweight around. If you stick around, you're going to have to learn how to be useful, in and outside a fight. Understand?"

There, Haku nodded her head vigorously while responding with one of those Japanese 'Hm!'s that mean 'yes'.

"Right, first I gotta turn that piece of crap you call a body into something useful in a fight, so…"

Again, Tetsuya's sword was thrust into a trainee's arms, namely Haku. Of course she nearly fell under the heavy rudimentary weight. After her exclamation of what the hell he was doing, Tetsuya relayed instructions on how to train with the sword. Soon enough Haku was running around hefting the blade, while Tetsuya faced Naruto.

"So… did you actually go to a ninja school yet?"

"No."

"Damn. That means I have to explain all the complicated stuff. Do you even know what Chakra is?"

"No! You promised to tell me back at the river before we met Haku!"

"Oh. Right. I'll make this simple for now. On the one hand, you have physical energy. Run, jump, eat, fight, scream in pain, etcetera. The stamina that you need to do stuff. You with me?"

"Yeah."

"So then you have spiritual energy. That… is just some energy that exists in us. Hell knows what exactly it is, and there's not much you can do with it just by itself. So you get that Chakra shit when you mix the two. With Chakra, it's like the ultimate body energy. You pretty much us it as anything and turn it into anything. Ninja, can manipulate it and turn use it to summon giant robots to come out of the ground and shoot laser beams at people, along with other stuff. I use it too."

"But you said ninja use it."

"Hey, it's not a ninja only thing, you know. If you want to survive in combat that uses Chakra, you gotta use some of it too. So that's where we're gonna start."

"How are you going to teach me to use Chakra? I don't even feel it."

"Oh don't worry. Once this is over, you'll be feeling it. Anyways, this drill require the use of a tree…"

"…Tree?"

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_A tree sounded pretty harmless. I mean the worst you can do it climb it. Unfortunately, Sensei decided to pull something crazy and out of the top of his head. There are times I really hate how he doesn't know how to teach…_

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"Umm… sensei? Is Naruto going to be safe up there?" Haku called out from below.

" 'Course he will, it's just a tree! Now get back to… running around!" Tetsuya shouted back down from his rather lofty height. With him, Naruto's knees were buckling as he stared down.

"…Sensei… w-what are we doing?"

"Tree jumping."

"Tree what?"

"JUMPING. Geez, what else can you do with a tree? Climb it? Che, that doesn't use chakra. Anyways, you gotta sort of… massage the Chakra down to your legs. The feeling probably differs from person to person, but you'll know when it works. When its there, jump."

"Do I have to massage it EVERY time?"

"Nah… I was just told that when I first got into chakra. After a while, moving it around is like second nature. But for now, just massage it." From there, Tetsuya leaped from his position next to Naruto to another branch of another tree that one could not have spanned without great trouble without using chakra. The swaying of the branch without the extra weight jarred its other younger occupant with enough force that the boy could do little more than yelp and grab whatever he could to steady himself until the branch finally stopped swinging.

"Oi, Naruto! What are you standing there for? Get jumping!"

"I can't jump something like that!"

"Sensei! You're going to kill him!" Haku's voice came again from below.

The lone eyed rolled around to the top of the head with a groaning sigh, "Haku! Shut the hell up before you actually make Naruto believe that! As for you!" Said Tetsuya thrusting his pointed fist at his male student, "It's probably not even a meter! Just do what I told you! We don't have all day! Go already!"

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_The good news is that I didn't die. The bad news is that I probably would have anyways, had sensei saved me. Massage? How the heck is that supposed to work? I didn't even feel a thing. After a while, the day got late and we ended up talking back inside the hut._

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There was not much to do outside of training. Luckily for the lone female of the party, this kept her entertained, since all of her mind was devoted to ensuring the sword she was thrusting up and down did not crush her. For Tetsuya and Naruto (who refused to do anything else for the night in compensation of his tree jumping escapade), such option was not available to them. So one just stared at the fire, trying to blank his mind of activity (his comic had finally been worn thin. He would have to wait another day or so before enthusiasm let him read again), while the other lay on his back, playing the exhilarating game of "count the number of whatever strange deformities you can find in the wood roof above you".

"Um… sensei?" Haku asked. Sensing boredom, she decided now was the best time to approach a subject that nagged at her.

"…Uuuuuuhhhhnnnnn…?" came the reply of a man who successfully mentally blanked himself.

"You never really told us about yourself. What was your life like before us?"

"Yeah! We told you all about ourselves, but the best you give us is 'my parents are dead'." Naruto pointed out as well, while turning to his side to face his teacher's back.

"Well, if you must know," Tetsuya said while yawning off his previous condition, "The story of my childhood is like this…"

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_Sensei's family, the Inukage was a real Samurai clan before the ninja wars. But after the ninja wars, it was obvious who was more useful in missions. Ninja used Chakra techniques as much as they wanted, but the Samurai liked to do it the old fashion way. Some tried to fight ninja to prove their worth, but they still lost. Between the battles and the loss of attention, the Samurai sort of rotted away. According to sensei, the Inukage clan ended up after the war as just a small family with their ancestral possessions and honor. So they still trained their children to fight like samurai. Tetsuya-sensei said he was the youngest one. Also, besides being a Samurai clan, the Inukage also were supposed to be appointed guardians of some… treasure or something. Some sort of relic that was buried inside a tree behind the house._

_Anyways, Tetsuya said he was about five when it was the night ninja attacked the house. He can't remember if they were from a village or they were free-lance "missing" ones. The ninja killed all of his family, and they were looking for that treasure in the tree. Here's where it gets weird. If they were killing the whole family, how did sensei live? He said that all the ninja were killed as well in the incident, but how? He also said he carries the relic with him now, so Haku and I asked what it was._

_"Secret" he says. Pah._

_I suppose afterwards he began training with that Mist-nin he talks about. I wonder how long he trained for?_

_Afterwards we asked him what Samurai were like before the wars. Tetsuya sensei said he wasn't born before then, but he did remember some cool stories about seven samurai defending a poor village, another about a bodyguard called Sanjuro who tricked two gangs into killing each other, and another about some blind old guy with a sword in his cane. I think the Sanjuro one was pretty cool, but a cane-sword is pretty cool too._

_Training went on as usual. I finally sort of got what he meant by massaging Chakra, so I'm slowly getting used to this stuff. Haku is pretty smart, though. She catches up pretty fast and she learns stuff really fast. I tend to go to her for help, since sensei is an idiot when it comes to training._

_Still, there was that one time…_

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Near the body of water a walk able distance from the hut, training commenced. Naruto gave out a harsh "Yaaaah!" while charging towards his teacher with his wooden 'sword' that was carved out from a tree. As the boy swung down at the legs Tetsuya merely thrust his own sheathed weapon into the dirt to block the attack before using it as a base for a somersault over the boy to his exposed behind, where a foot forced Naruto forward until he tripped into the water.

"So, Haku… You can manipulate the nature of water as your ability?" The samurai commented in interest as he watched the girl crouch by the pool, an orb of the liquid suspended in the air between her hands.

"I can make water do anything I want."

"Really… anything at all?"

"I think so."

"Even the temperature? So you can turn it into ice?"

"I don't think I ever tried… Sensei, what are you thinking of doing?"

"…Just an idea. For now I want you to see if you can do that. It might save me some money…"

Just then Naruto's head popped back out of the water. "Sensei! You show off! What's with the twirling and jumping?"

"Aw, shut up. It's Haku's turn now to get wet."

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_…I guess making weapons out of ice is an all right idea, but isn't ice rather brittle, compared to steel? I suppose this is one of those points where I can't really dissect Sensei's thinking. It would be kind of cool to make swords out of ice, though. After some more 'sparring', which was mostly just sensei making fun of us because he could keep knocking us into the water, we soon found out that fish actually lived in it. This led to another training scheme. Though, target practice with kunai at fish under water kind of sounds stupid. Haku and I didn't have enough strength or practice to actually hit a fish, so sensei caught the fish mainly…_

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While Naruto and Haku had learned much in the way of combat, and currently running drills as usual, as they chased each other back to the hut, Tetsuya had learned the most important lesson of all:

Fish are the most superior beings.

Not only proved in Chapter 84, Volume 19 of Super Shiny Spinny Attack (Aquatic God Storm pulverized the Rangers every time they met until they learned how to call upon the STARS), Tetsuya learned first hand that even if you beat the fish, they always took revenge. Right now revenge was the sheer weight of the pile of dead…fish that was weighing down upon the cloaked back. His precious mantle was getting wet from the stringed together carcasses, and no doubt the smell would take a while to dull out, and they were so damn HEAVY! It was most likely that if Fish were ninja, they would realize their omnipotence, name themselves gods, and proceed to utterly demolish all that opposed them. He had a feeling even the Tailed-Demons wouldn't be able to stop them.

"Oi… Naruto… give me a hand here… you realize how heavy all these fish are?" Samurai teacher moaned.

Samurai student scrunched up his face at the sight of the dead fish. "Why? It isn't training."

" 'Course it is! It's weight training!"

"…If you ask me, I'd rather prefer the sword to the fish…"

"You know, Naruto… that sounded rather… Samurai-ish."

"Really? YEA-ow!" It was here that Haku found an opening and struck with her wooden pole.

"Oh! Sorry! I thought you would have noticed…"

"Haku! That was mean!"

There, the children laughed and continued to chase each other with their weapons. To others, it would have been simply children dreaming of war, but to Tetsuya, it was remarkable how fast the children were picking up war.

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These fish were actually very good. Very little extra bone, cooked well in a fire, and had the right crispiness to them. Very good fish. Outside their residence in the night sky, the three of them ate their single course dinner. It was also becoming an interesting game between the three of them to see who of them could continually throw away their spent meal into the same pile throughout. Eventually the fish stopped coming, and the three sat under the night sky.

"Naruto, Haku. I'd like to ask you an old question again."

'Yes?' they answered.

"Why did you two choose to come with me? Naruto, you at least had a place in a ninja village. Haku, you could have been picked up by that Mist Jounin. It's true what they say. Ninja are the future. The Samurai died out over a hundred years ago because they can't compete. Why did you come with me when you could be so much more powerful as a Shinobi?"

Naruto snickered at the obvious "Sensei, I already told you. Everybody hated me there. I don't have any parents, and nothing to keep me there. It's better that I went with you!"

Haku nodded "We're monsters, Sensei, all of us. We don't belong anywhere else. Even if you think you're the worst, we'll still stay with you. You're the only one who doesn't care what we are."

"Belonging huh? Monsters…" Tetsuya's mouth curled into a sneer at the words. It just sounded funny, something so philosophical like that being said by some brats and a washed up swordsman.

"So, you two are going to follow this path, no matter what?"

Nods of confirmation. Tetsuya stood up and walked a few steps in front of his students, before his swords was suddenly naked and pointed at the sky.

"Naruto! Haku! Let's be something great! Zato Ichi, Sanjuro, Kambei and his six, they're all legends, whether they're real or fake. Let's be great like them too! We're possibly the last of our kind, let's be **the **last! Let's make our name so great that the world won't forget our names, and when they remember, they won't think of orphans or monsters, but the last Samurai, the last legends! I'll stop pestering you about following me! You're my students! Let's be legends!"

"S-sensei…"

"Th-that was cool!"

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_I'll admit at times he is weird. But I suppose he can be cool at times too. So, all three of us are samurai now. After that we were kind of all excited about being samurai for a few days. The message still sticks with us, but after training for a long time, you still tend to realize how much more you got to go before you get as strong as sensei._

_That won't stop me though! I'll just train to be good really fast, and then Haku and I can kick his ass, heh, heh!_

_We finally got used to using chakra now. We know how to move it around, and we've been memorizing hand positions ninja use, so we can know what to expect if we fight them. Sensei said he uses a few himself, but mainly to supplement his fighting. I've got to stop writing this for now. Sensei is getting us out for something to do with chakra…_

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The three were walking back to the body of water again, and Tetsuya was wondering whether this would work or not.

"Hey! Sensei! So what's the cool thing we're going to do with chakra?" Naruto was giddy at the thought of proving his superiority over the damn energy once again.

(Lecture mode on) "As you two know, chakra's made and used by mixing the two energies and molding and shaping it. But you have to train yourself to be proficient and efficient at using it. It's sort of like the difference of holding a sword and using a sword. One, you can just sort of swing it around get the job done, the other actual takes full potential and uses it for full efficiency."

"So… you're saying we have to control our chakra better?" Haku summarized.

"Yeah."

"So how are we going to learn to control our chakra?" Naruto asked.

"This is why we have this body of water here. My Mist-nin who taught me how to fight showed me how to use chakra as well. This is what he did."

With a leap Tetsuya flew through the air, towards the center of the pool. Given his body weight, the two trainee samurai covered their face from the oncoming splash. Instead they found their sensei landing on top of the water like it was made of earth.

"S-sensei! How did you do that?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Simple. I'm pushing chakra out of the bottom of my feet, allowing me to stick to the surface of the water and repel gravity. I don't know the exact science, but that's what I figure. Just remember that chakra is used."

"So we just push chakra out our feet?" Haku asked.

"Not exactly. You need release the right amount. Too little, and you still fall through. Too much and you just blow the water up around you and then fall through. Also, since the surface of the water changes, you've got to keep track of that, too."

"So, sensei, how long did it take you?"

"Uh… I don't remember. It must had taken a while though, because I can remember my sparring buddy laughing at me a lot during that time. Anyways, I'll judge when your ready by when you managed to get from there to my position without falling. If you do go through, then go back to shore and start all over again."

"All right! This'll be easy!"

…Too little, too much, keep track of water surface? Hello? Is that easy? "Oh yeah, Haku."

"Sensei!"

"Don't you dare cheat or something! I know your Bloodline has to do with water, so don't pull something out of that effeminate ass of yours, or you'll be sorry!"

"Sensei!" Haku whined at the accusation. At the same time, Naruto was running with a war cry towards Tetsuya on the water's surface.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

First step on its surface, the water blew up like a bomb hit it.

Tetsuya just sighed as he shielded his eyes from the falling drops. He had a feeling the opposite was going to happen to Haku. "This might take a while…"

_Nice war cry, though._

-

-

-

Next Chapter: Short of cash, and short of patience, the three samurai take up a job offer from a traitor to steal a valuable from Naruto's home village. There, some shocking, interesting, and perhaps plot-building secrets are reveals there.

A/N: I guess here I should say how much I hate the idea of some person from our planet taking a wormhole through time and space and landing in the Naruto world. Something about it makes me hate it. Perhaps because it's often a mix between Self-insertion and Mary Stu. I think those PMS psychos with mallets come from there, too, because they're oh SO original characters. How they have to write like Naruto is an anime, or a manga, and they're have to damn make the world a happy and perfect place in there by rehabilitating Sasuke and Itachi and every damn guy with a problem. Even worse than other Original Characters. I'm happy to admit that I liked "Naruto's Mom" more than the rest of that horrible sub-genre. Because even though it begins with a first person view of a person from another dimension, the character slowly evolves to become a character, not just an offshoot of the author's brain and how she/he thinks Naruto should be like. Granted, though, she was still a PMS psycho with a mallet, and I didn't like that at times, since it was annoying.


	4. Typical: Forbidden Stuff!

From accidental learning, Hakama are those skirt pants that everybody loves to see samurai wear. Unamori is the kind that is actually a giant poofy pant that folds together. Most animes have their samurai wear this. Bleach and Samurai Champloo for instance. Adon is the kind that actually IS practically a dress. Haori are a kind of jacket. The best examples are the ones the Squad Captains in Bleach wear. Also being the only haori I remember, use those for reference when you imagine.

**Typical: Forbidden Stuff!**

-

-

-

And so, the water remained still.

Silence pervaded the quiet waters.

Then one bubble of life, and another, slowly trickled up to the surface as a dark shadow slowly rose to the top. Eventually the lemon-topped samurai burst through with a deep breath and with a few coughs after from expanding his lungs so wide.

The older charcoal-top samurai's head rose above the water as well then.

"Sensei! What the hell was the point of that? Were you trying to drown me?"

"Oi! That's meditation for you! It sounded reasonable to hold your breath underwater! I think I heard once that some samurai a long time ago did this, and Teal Ranger did this too in Chapter-"

"I don't care about who did what as well in that stupid comic!"

"Hey! Don't insult Super Shiny Spinny Attack! It owns your ass for free! Don't think that just because your twelve either justifies your back talk!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Lemon-top twelve-year-old Naruto muttered as he pulled chakra to his limbs, using his new traction to clamber up on top of the surface of the water like it was any other solid ground.

A lot can happen in seven years. Like any other good boy, Naruto had grown taller. His samurai training long ago had replaced his aged T-Shirt and pants of his five-year-old incarnation. Now black unamori hakama adorned his legs, a dark vest zipped up his torso, and his frame was covered in an orange dyed sleeved haori that billowed out all badass like if the wind was right. A bandanna was tied around his forehead to hold his spiky blonde hair above his vision.

Standing atop the surface of the river, a single hand seal forced the chakra in his body to be released in force out of his body at various points. The force was enough to blow every drop of water off his clothes, turning a drenched body into a dry one in seconds.

"You show off! Don't think you're the only one who can do that!" Tetsuya accused with a rather exaggerate frowned face.

"Agh! Why do you always have to say weird things like that? You're the one who taught me about chakra." Naruto exclaimed back, clutching his head from trying to ward off the general stupidity-slash-insanity of his sensei.

"Hnph, whatever." Was the response that killed the argument, afterwards the older samurai pushed himself to the surface as well, and repeated the same process as his student. The two thus started towards the bank, the morning fun over.

"How come Haku doesn't have to do this stupid meditation?" Naruto whined.

"Because, as we all know, she got that bloodline that got to do with water. As far as I'm concerned, she might do some crazy thing like breath under water. Plus she has a lot more patience than you, so the regular stuff works for her, I suppose."

Upon the bank, a sword lay. Where the sheath met the hilt of the blade, a long golden string had one end tied tightly to the steel framed sword cover, the other end tying to a small weight. This weapon Naruto picked up from the ground, and held the weapon diagonally against his back while he flicked the weighted string around himself, the force causing it to swing around his torso, wrapping his blade against his back tightly in the process.

"Hey, sensei…" Naruto inquired as he turned around to face his mentor.

"Yeah?"

"Haku doesn't know we're finished, right?"

"That doesn't mean you're going to surprise her." Was the deadpanned reply.

"Who says I'm doing anything like that?"

"Because I trained you the whole time. The way you continually try to get the jump on everybody, sometimes I wonder how you would have been if you stayed in Konoha those years back."

"Dead, probably."

"I suppose."

-

-

-

Haku, being a whole three years senior to her younger comrade, obviously meant she was still older after seven years. At fifteen, those who hated her in the village would not have recognized her, save her name. Finally in a place where she could grow, her scrappy urchin looks disappeared long ago, replaced by that feminine elegancy and calm, and those damn breasts that Tetsuya-sensei kept preaching about like the damn long-term pervert he probably truly was. Her hair, once ragged and unkempt was now the gloss and length of beauty. Though, due to her profession, that length was kept in a bun behind her head. The long bangs were parted into two even halves and tied together at the ends. A dark green-blue robe wrapped around her body and was tied in place by a thick brown sash. A hakama was worn as well like any other samurai. Unlike Naruto, this one was even more dress like than his pant like form. Finally, a thin black cloth collar that came into her possession a while back still remained around her neck, since becoming a favorite accessory of hers.

And if you must know, yes, she still painted her nails.

Since that long description of her, she had been kneeling in front of the fire that traditionally marked the area as their campsite. Since Tetsuya dragged Naruto off to try out some new amazing meditation technique, Haku was left to defend their… campfire, and wait for their fish breakfast.

So really, given the situation and her much less volatile nature, compared to the other two, she decided to try out her own meditating. Maybe because she was a girl, but she was having a remarkably more successful time at it then her comrades.

True to the meditation, every sense was closed off, leaving a phantom presence of their use in her mind, making all of them clear but of all the most important things.

"YAAAHHHH!" Naruto flew through the brush towards his peer.

But perhaps meditation wasn't required after all, if Naruto always decided to give his war cries.

With the covered blade loose in his hands, the boy slashed out his blade at the still kneeling and silent Haku. In return, she merely raised a solid orb of ice blue that appeared in her hand. The singing blade immediately caught in the dense ice. By then, both were already on their feet beginning their latest game again. Naruto was already smirking as from his sideways position, his steel covered sword sheath in his other hand was already swinging out from behind his back towards Haku's face. Moisture continually was being sucked out of the air as more ice was added to female samurai's orb, one side of the globe releasing a protrusion of ice sharp enough to cut, while she twisted its round base to knock Naruto's attack out of the way. In elaborate swirls, both fighters broke off their blade from each other before facing each other again. From there, both struck at each other again, dodging and swinging with practice, Naruto with his sword and its cover in each hand, and Haku with her frosting blade, formed into one with a real handle.

Naruto jumped back as Haku spun around carefully with her blade outreached. At one opportune moment, Naruto lashed out with his sheath, the roped weight harshly winding around his friend's sword arm, catching tight at the wrist. Pulling back, the significantly-older-yet-still-boy slashed again towards his unbalanced foe, which just managed to get her blade in front, clashing again. Haku then used her unexpected momentum to push her weapon against Naruto's, while reaching behind his blade to grab the same wrist that capture hers, leaving them at a standstill again.

"So, how you gonna get out of this, Haku?" Naruto confidently grinned, his feral nature barely suppressed within those teeth.

"Don't worry, you'll be letting me go, Naruto." Haku smiled in her own manner of strength.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"YOU DAMN BASTARDS! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CATCHES THE DAMN FISH AROUND HERE?" Tetsuya's voice hollered over the tension, before two flying projectile were hurled through the trees towards the two young swords…people.

As the two of them turned in surprise, Haku was already turning her blade straight at the oncoming projectile. Naruto, meanwhile, was still going all 'huh?' at the voice.

Thus, Haku's sword neatly caught the fish straight through, while Naruto fell backwards defeated in a resounding clang and flying of his hand held possessions, the sea creature slapped in his face.

"That's why, Naruto." Haku said in her own calm manner, eyes shut in a nodded agreement.

"…smart ass…"

"That's right! That's all the two of you are! Smart asses! I ought to kick both your asses for insubordination, the way you keep running off like that!" The samurai sensei angrily grumbled as he trumped his way into vision, his sword skewered from one end of the blade to the other with fish. (Tetsuya finally discovered how call upon the power of the STARS, like the Rangers)

"Welcome back, Tetsuya-sensei." Haku bowed graciously.

"What'd the hell you threw that fish for?" Naruto's head stuck up with a scrunched up face of indignation.

"It's you breakfast. Now cut some tree branches so we can cook this."

-

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-

If you think that they were just leaving the Mist islands, you are off by a few years. Since hearing of those ninja hunting for some characters that sounded suspiciously to the description of the three samurai back then, the oldest obviously ran off with his two students back to the life of wandering in the 'wilds'.

Journeying through the morning with the clothes on their backs, they managed to make it to a rice paddy besieged quaint town.

With expertly cooked food outside of fish and generally foul tasting fruit.

And a bookshop that may or may not sell Super Shinny Spinny Attack.

"Alright! Let's check our resources! Cash out!" Tetsuya exclaimed in the middle of the street.

(Suspiciously like another adventure concerning samurai) Between the three of them, they didn't even have enough money for a single room in the inn. Again.

Besides the collected look of dejection on all three of their faces, about 15 other people in the same street secretly armed with various mugging tools already had moved past the wanderers.

"Damn… at this rate we'll never get to Earth Country…" Tetsuya muttered.

"We could take jobs around here." Naruto suggested.

"Us? We're close to Konoha, so people would rather go there than take jobs from ancient samurai."

"But you would be willing to take any job for money, right? Uzumaki… Naruto." A new voice cut in.

The samurai with the matching name spun around to face the voice, hand already gripping the handle behind his right shoulder. Tetsuya and Haku also turned in feign calm, the one-eyed warrior briskly pushing his right arm through the single sleeve as usual to access his sword, Haku remaining in the background unarmed and ready to strike unexpectedly. People in the busy street meanwhile dispersed in panic at the sight of impending battle, like anybody should.

The one who called out to Naruto was a ninja bearing a heavy vest that ranked him either Chuunin or Jounin. The green of the vest and the black of the uniform, along with the symbol on that shining metal plate bore him as a Leaf ninja from the nearby village. This particular ninja, despite the uniformity of their clothing, was best identified with his longish silver hair.

"What the hell do you want from us?" Naruto yelled over at the ninja, his distrust of ninja (Leaf ones, especially) already kicking in.

The ninja put his hands to his hip with a smirk that came with those 'hmph's, before his hands flung out, metal escaping the grip and crossing the distance towards the samurai. The onslaught of the flying shuriken easily shredded the unprepared warriors to pieces.

Before their bodies even touched the dirt, smoke escaped from all of them, their true bodies revealed as large wooden articles with the projectiles embedded in them.

"They know kawarimi?" The silver headed chuunin/jounin exclaimed at the sight.

The Tetsuya-fake, a rectangular table turned over onto its shorter width was suddenly kicked forwards towards the ninja, revealing the real one-eyed fighter behind it while the wooden shield flew over towards the shinobi enemy with frightening speed. Deciding that being impaled by a table filled by his own weapons was one of the stupidest ways to go, the ninja gritted his teeth at the sight and flipped over the object attempting to ram him. While he was upside down, his hand gripping the edge of the table in the air, he noticed behind the table had something yellow and orange-

A weighted rope twisted around his neck, a sudden jerk pulling the ninja to the dirt ground in a slam. Before he knew it, two sharp edges were at his face, one clear and releasing a cold frost from its surface, the other blade leading up to a hand belonging to an un-amused Uzumaki Naruto.

Out of the side of his vision, the oldest of the bushido fighters walked into the view of the ninja, his sword lazily propped over his shoulder.

"So what's your last words before my students kill you?" Tetsuya asked.

Snicker, snicker.

"Huh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

Snicker, snicker turned into a full out laughter, the ninja taking caution during his chuckling throes that he didn't rise his head into one of the blades.

"I knew you people were perfect for this job. I recognized you, the one who managed to kidnap Naruto and defeat two ANBU ninja." The ninja said with a grin.

"What job? Like I'd trust any Leaf ninja! Sensei, let's just kill him now! We can't trust ninja." Naruto shouted accusingly.

"I agree, Tetsuya-sensei. You don't trust people who attack us unexpectedly. Didn't the people in the Leaf despise Naruto?" Haku asked back to her teacher.

"Yeah… but, you know… we are kind of out of money…" Tetsuya half began, while Naruto gave his shocked response.

"EH? You actually want to trust this bastard?"

"No… but we are kind of out of money. We can kill him after he pays for lunch and tells us what he wants."

The swords were reluctantly withdrawn from the ninja's grinning face.

-

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-

While the a crowd the crowd of the town's residents gathered outside the food establishment, the four sat inside an empty restaurant. The ninja was seated in another table separate from a food packed one. Haku was calmly eating her bowel of rice while Tetsuya showed no regard to the situation as usual, shoveling his bowel of rice down his throat along with anything else his chopsticks could reach. Naruto carefully gauged the ninja with a death glare out of the corner of his eye.

"So, Mr. Ninja-" Tetsuya started through a half filled mouth of rice.

"Mizuki."

"-Why us? Ninja are better at stealing stuff."

"I don't trust my own peers with this task. They're too loyal to their old beliefs. The politics between ninja of different villages is far too complicated for my taste. I just need someone who talks only with money. I was originally going to trick one of my students, but things didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it too, so I decided to find mercenaries to help. I'm just happy to find people as skilled as you are."

"Oh gee, I feel so happy to be commended by a ninja. So what would we have been stealing?"

"It's known as the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. It's a scroll that contains teachings of several high-level ninja techniques."

"So… you want to steal this and betray your own village? For what reason? I though Konoha is one of the strongest villages out there."

"That reason is secret."

'Tch, fine. But a scroll isn't of any value to us, and it seems you'll either be keeping it or not selling it to competitors for a long time, so what's the reward for us?"

"I saved up an amount in case I had to resort to this. It's a good sum."

"Define good sum."

Good sum was defined as an exuberant amount more than capable of seeing the three off for a good while, and reasonable, given the efforts for stealing a treasure in the middle of a village and trying to get beyond outside said village.

"So, team. Do we have enough confidence or desperation to try this job on?" Tetsuya announced to his students.

Haku was being her general 'I must ponder this wisely as to my nature' with a cup of tea.

Naruto answered with an expletive and a no, the words interchangeable in order.

"I don't want to go back. I hate remembering what it was like before." Naruto explained in crossed arms and a childish, but valid pout.

"Sorry, Mr. Ninja. My team can't work to its fullest potential if even one of us doesn't want to take the job. We probably have to refuse at this rate." Tetsuya dully translated to Mizuki.

"It's alright, I'm sure I can throw in something extra for Naruto here."

"Money won't make me go." Was the icy bite to the hand.

"It doesn't have to be money. I happen to know something that might be of your interest."

No response. Naruto's back was turned to the ninja. The Leaf traitor still continued.

"When you were born, a law was passed. Only the adults know of it, and they vowed under punishment of death never to break that law."

"Never heard of such a stupid thing." Naruto mumbled.

"That's because it was never meant to be known to you. The law relates to you Naruto. The truth."

"…"

"The truth of why everybody hates you. Why you are different than everybody in Konoha."

"…"

"Normally, I still wouldn't tell what it was. But since I'll be betraying Konoha soon enough, and you don't consider yourself of Konoha anymore, I suppose that makes us both exempt from the laws right?"

"…You bastard…" Naruto growled quietly. To bait him with such a thing…

"Perhaps I'll tell you when you complete the job, since that would make by defection official. Until then, I'm still a lowly Konoha Chuunin that teaches at that academy you might have gone to. Think about it, Naruto. The truth of what you are."

Mizuki dropped three slips of paper onto the table he was seated at before standing up. "These are passes that legally allow one to enter Konoha for this month. If you want to take this job, just come. Until we meet again."

A hand seal and Mizuki did that ninja thing where they disappear into a plume of smoke, leaving the three samurai behind.

"So we going or not? I'm just doing this for the money, if you must know." Tetsuya blandly answered. Happy and bright Naruto being this sullen pseudo-angst bastard was sort of killing everybody's personality.

Haku sighed at her empty cup of tea before responding, "I don't have any ties to Konoha. I'm afraid I have no reason to refuse this offer, outside of the considerable danger. Probably the most I would be under yet."

Naruto remained silent.

_Damn mood-killer brat._ "Well, Naruto? You going or not?"

Naruto turned a smart grin to his peers, "Well considering that ninja bastard pretty much tricked me into going, I guess I'll have to see if that Ramen Place's stuff in Konoha is still any good."

Smiles erupted from all of them. All three were going. Monsters they were, they would all care for each other, and no matter how ugly each was.

-

-

-

"Gimme your sword, Naruto." Tetsuya held out his open hand, the other holding Super Shiny Spinny Attack open at the memorable bit where there was that bit that could be interpreted as backing to the Orange Ranger and Pink Ranger Pairing, which Tetsuya seemed so fond of for some reason.

Naruto protectively clutched his weapon. "What! What for? It's mine!"

"I can't have three samurai entering a town at once. It's too suspicious for a place like Konoha. Haku doesn't carry weapons, so she checks out as a civie. You however, need to give me your sword, or I give you my sword, since samurai legend say that traditionally they used to have two swords."

"So why won't you give me yours?"

" 'Cause I'm your damn teacher, so I get to do whatever I want. Now, gimme. Haku, lend me a hand."

Hey, what are you doing, stop, argh, let go, stop doing that, Haku what are you doing, help already, you damn bastard, you damn thief, you bunch of traitors, argh, stop making this hard for yourself Naruto, I'll get it back to you when we're inside, I don't care this is about integrity, your so damn troublesome, Haku actually do something, I though your bloodline could be helpful in this, no it wouldn't, fine be that way.

Etcetera continued as the three wrestled on the road to Konoha.

-

-

-

In exchange for the sword, Naruto got a new straw hat over his head. Generally when one of the few children in the village with blonde hair disappears, and later some mysterious wanderer returns with similar characteristics, complicated crap tends to happen. Like being recognized.

Still, the three got checked in through the large gates pretty easily. They just popped up; some ninja guarding the door did the 'halt, who goes there?' thing, jumped down to check, and jump back up to open up the doors. So far, so good.

Watching the gate shut behind them, they released a sigh. Now they were in enemy territory.

"Here Naruto." Tetsuya tossed the boy's weapon back to its owner, who quickly wrapped it around his back with the rope as they walked away from the giant gates.

"So now, what, Sensei?" Haku asked.

"Now what? We have some time to relax. But we need to find that silver-headed ninja first. That's your job, Haku."

"Eh? What about you, sensei? Aren't you responsible, as our sensei?"

"No." The one-eyed Inukage shrugged, "I'm just going to shop a bit and sight see." He turned to face the youngest of the three samurai, "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Since this is your village and all, and you have such a bad past as you make out, I can't really stop you from being an angst bastard here. That doesn't mean I'm going to hang around and watch you be angsty. So go do something useful in the mean time."

"Hey! I may not like the memories here, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be stupid about it!"

"Yeah, yeah… Nehways, lets all get to it. We'll meet back at that Ramen Stand that Naruto liked when it's night. Later, all."

"Later, sensei." Naruto said with a nod of farewell.

"Take care, both of you." Haku responded with a small bow.

The three so went their separate ways into the village hidden in the leaves.

-

-

-

So really, all Haku had to go on for finding their insider was that he was a 'lowly chuunin who taught at the ninja academy'. The best she could think of was asking a ninja what and where a ninja academy was.

It was really too bad for her that she didn't know that graduation day was actually tomorrow. She could have simply asked the newbies then, but she didn't. So, fate left her to resort to the only Genin team that was training and not out on missions for the time being, but 'Tis rather unfortunate for her to be who they were.

Something green landed in front of the female samurai, the object's previous position being inside a training field that Haku didn't even notice exist beside the path she was taking.

"It's pointless to fight me, Lee. The outcome of these pitiful 'spars' is destined to be the same every time." Some snooty, confident, and cold voice snorted out from the field. Haku, as an audience turned to see the announcement coming from some-

("I'm telling you Haku!" Tetsuya roared out in a rant, "This book is the ultimate expression of the truth of this universe. Angst bastards in Super Shiny Spinny are identified by their smart ass-ness as well as in real life! They suffer from some sort of exaggerated form of self-denial, and they often are effeminate as well! I'm just happy I saved you from that horrible fate!")

_Oh my god… Sensei was right after all. _Haku realized with a gaping expression at the near parallel events of her teacher's lesson and right now unfolding before her.

Well, nearly. Tetsuya didn't say anything about a girl agreeing with the angst bastard, or him talking to a green dummy sack named Lee as if it were a real-

"Neji! You're wrong! One day I'll prove to you that Hard Work is equal to your abilities!" The green sack stood up and yelled adamantly.

"Fool."

"It's alive?" Haku could not help but ask perplexed at the sight of the living punching bag, with her raised eyebrow. Wait a second, it did have limbs and a head and everything… but that face… that stumped Haku. She couldn't tell if it was real since it half looked like a cartoon face painted on. She compromised with a 'it's one of those crazy ninja things like Tetsuya-sensei says'. She at least noticed all three of them were wearing metal plates bearing the etching of a swirling leaf symbol on their foreheads or waists.

The angst bastard one stared straight at Haku after hearing her presence. Despite the probability of those eyes being blind, those near white orbs had no problem giving a death glare that would have made any lesser Haku sweat.

"Who are you?"

Haku decided to replace her sweating that any lesser Haku would have done with a quick and wide bow so she wouldn't have to see that death glare for a second while she faced the ground "Haku. I've arrived here recently to meet a friend of mine. Judging by those metal plates, you are ninja. Correct?"

"Yes." The angst bastard sternly replied, as if even mentioning that was a problem to his existence. "However, you meeting a friend is often an excuse any illegal alien uses if they are confronted. Where is your pass?"

"Here."

"Fine."

"You asked if we were ninjas. Why?" The girl asked. Interesting shirt. The embroidery knotting holding the pink material together didn't look very common to this time.

"My friend works at the Academy for Shinobi. I assume that is some sort of training facility, and since you three are ninja, I was hoping that-"

"MY STUDENTS! WHAT IS WITHHOLDING YOUR FROM THIS YOUTHFUL TRAINING?" A glorious voice boomed from above as a larger green clothed punching bag landed behind the three ninja, the upper half releasing a gleam of light from being reflected by the bag's-

_Oh wait, that one's human too. Or at least the teeth are real enough to reflect light._ Haku realized.

"Our training was interrupted by the interrogation of this civilian." The angst bastard responded dully.

"I see! And you, young lady, who shines with beauty of youthful brilliance! What is it that you wish to ask?"

"Well… er… I was hoping a ninja could direct me to the Shinobi academy." You can't help it when you blush. Especially when your called beautiful in a long time, as your only male companions were to brusque to care about that.

"Gai-Sensei! I volunteer to guide her to the facility! If I can't do it in three minutes then-"

"Lee! You fool!" The larger green punching bag smashed one of its appendages into the smaller one's face. "You cannot be distracted while you train to master this special technique I am training you!"

Haku, to her horror, was forced to see a re-enactment of what probably might have been in her own sensei's comic, what with the hugging and the shouts of approval and love between the two training sacks. All the characters in there were probably as exaggerated as all these ninjas. Afterwards, the larger of the two green creatures, Gai-sensei, walked over to the female samurai, landed a hand on one of her shoulders and faced the three other circus clowns with a rather dramatic and horribly animated face.

"You three! I shall accompany this lady here to her destination! You three will continue to train in my absence to revitalize your spring time of youth and vitality!"

So, Haku was on her way to meeting her informant.

_Wait a second; did he actually call training, "Youthful" and "Revitalizing"?_

("God damn!" Tetsuya shouted to a Six-year-old Naruto and the respective nine-year-old Haku, "You ain't training enough! Train, train, train! You're finished when you look like damn 80-year-old corpses!")

-

-

-

Tetsuya simply sucked at sight seeing. He did not gain tactical knowledge of the territory, nor did he actually enjoy the scenery. The whole time his damn face was stuck in that Super Shiny Spinny Attack of his.

But today! Today is the day fate had led him to where he was going! Fate for sure! Today he would find his destined enemy of all that he stood for!

"Hmm… So Gray Ranger says determinedly 'I shall defeat you for sure, Masked God Variant!' …"

It was about here, that Tetsuya heard a very familiar line while reading.

"…Then Junko said…'I think I'm going to lose sight of you'…"

There, the reader of the other book recognized Tetsuya's line as well.

_Could it be?_ Came the unanimous dramatic thought. Both turned around and faced each other through their books.

"…That line… could it be that you are reading a copy of Make Out Violence, the adult novel by Jiraiya?" Tetsuya's lone and scrutinizing eye asked as it emerged from the top of his comic.

"If I'm not mistaken, Gray Ranger is the character of Super Shiny Spinny Attack." Another lone and bored eye returned as it emerged from the top of his book.

"I see… it must be fate then for two readers like us to meet so."

"Well… I wouldn't know about that… but why does one like yourself read such an outdated comic?"

"Why does one like yourself read such a demeaning literature?"

Silence. Wind blowing dust. Electricity between eyeballs.

"The Icha Icha series must be defeated to ensure the survival of Super Shiny Spinny Attack. In order to do so, I must defeat each reader, one at a time. Prepare yourself, mortal enemy."

"Oh well… I guess I could use some exercise…"

-

-

-

The sun was setting, and Haruno Sakura had yet to find veritable town heartthrob, Uchiha Sasuke. Of course she was saying 'Oh I wonder where he could be' but translated into inward girl speak, that was more like 'God Damn Mother Fucker I'll Kill Ino If I Even See Her Near My Sasuke-KUN.'

Urged on by the idea of her greatest rival Ino getting to Sasuke, and possibly his heart first, and the fact that killing somebody by her wasn't allowed yet until tomorrow (Graduation day and official induction into the ninja military), so she would be guilty of murder in that case if she didn't find Sasuke first, she hastened her pace.

This brought her to the small yard in front of the Ninja Academy for the… billionth time that day.

This time yielded different results. She was surprised that was in the presence of nobody she never saw before. On top of that, the person actually had the guts to sit on the "Naruto Swing" that hung from a particular branch on the tree in the yard.

What were the chances of either ever happening or even at the same time?

Though she had to admit, this person looked a little bit… ominous. Okay, so a bright orange jacket-like isn't as evil as blood red or pure black, but the way the …boy?

_It's a boy?_

-but the way the boy was swinging, so relaxed, yet so distant… and the way the straw hat cast impenetrable shadows over its owner's head… like he fit the swing perfectly, but belonged to an entire time beyond her.

Still, Sakura swallowed down that feeling as she reminded herself, _I AM A GOD DAMN KUNOICHI WHO KICKS ASS! HELL YEAH! EAT THAT YOU UNDEAD SWINGING ORANGE PUNK!_

"Um… excuse me?" She decided to try with that oh-so-cute voice of hers. Makes for practice for the day it charms Sasuke-kun.

Swing… swing…

"Um… are you new here, because if that's so, new comers are required to display their pass…"

Swing… swing…

"And… considering that you have that sword… oi, are you listening?"

Swing… Swing… "Snargagblelh…"

Sakura's oh-so-cute face had her eyebrow twitch while blood flowed to her temple and inflated one of her veins, as she heard the sound of what could be very well interpreted as a snore.

"IDIOT! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?"

Pow-Crack. The Phantasm of the Naruto Swing fell off with darker cheek while his hat flew off, revealing the shocks of blonde hair and blue eyes.

The boy with the sword rubbed his cheek irritably as he gathered himself into a crouch and stared up with a squint, "Ow! What was that for?"

"Idiot! Newcomers ought to take this advice! You ought to be grateful that a kunoichi like me is warning you instead of capturing you for possibly breaking the law!"

"Kunoichi? You mean like a girl ninja?" was the guarded skeptical response.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"You don't have those ninja headband thingys…"

"I'll get that tomorrow!"

"That means you're not a ninja yet."

"I AM! Agh! Why am I arguing with somebody like you?"

"I don't know… I was just sleeping in that swing when you hit me."

"Bah! You shouldn't nap in that one! It has a ghost story attached to it, that Naruto Swing." Sakura warned.

"Naruto Swing? Why's it called that?" The boy asked with surprised face, obviously curious at such a possible tale.

"Well, a couple years back there used to be a boy in our village called Uzumaki Naruto. He was a real idiot and a delinquent. He had no parents, so he just did whatever he liked, and got in trouble a lot. Our parents told us not to play with the kid because he was bad, so we didn't so we could punish him for being a bad boy. Anyways, so he was always alone. As far as I'm concerned all he had to do was clean up his act, but he never did. So all the time he spent his hours on this swing alone."

"So… what happened to him?" The boy asked, voice quiet.

"Hey… don't tell me you're feeling sorry for him! He was a bad kid all the way through! There's absolutely no reason to feel sorry for him!"

"I'm not feeling sorry for mys-him! What happened to him anyways?"

"Well, he disappeared one day. Most of our parents think he killed himself. But the same day he disappeared, two ninja were found dead outside our village, they say. Perhaps he turned into a monster? Well, anyways, nobody goes near the swing that Naruto used to sit in now, it's cursed."

The boy nodded as he thought. "Man, what a sad story…" A hand reached out the orange sleeve of the haori and plucked up the straw hat the landed nearby, and perched it over his head rather lopsidedly, turning a dark shadowed ghost into a goofy smiling traveler.

"Sad?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Nobody tried to be friends with the kid."

"Hey! I told you! He was a delinquent with no parents!"

"And all you kids did was listen to the story of your parents, and hate for no reason. That sounds kind of silly…" Something bitter seemed to tinge that smile. Sakura, noticing this, felt a strange connection between this boy and the story.

"Hey… I never did ask for you name…"

"What's yours first?"

"I can't say that! I'm a kunoichi!"

"And I'm just a nobody. Can I sell your name? Is your name valuable to this place?" The boy asked.

"…fine… Sakura…"

"Naruto."

"…EH? Uzumaki Naruto?"

"No, no. Just Naruto."

"What's your family name?"

"You won't give me yours." Naruto whined.

"Fine! Be that way!" The kunoichi (to be in 24 hours, technically) groaned, "Besides, I have to see that pass. I should at least know if you're here legitimately or not."

"Tch… ninjas. When did they care about rules…" Naruto mumbled as he fished out his document and held it out at an Sakura, face clearly showing insult at that comment.

"Fine, fine, you good. Why do you carry a sword around anyways?"

"Because I'm gonna be a kick-ass samurai one day!" Naruto announced as he stood up from the grass and stretched out his back.

"Samurai? What the heck's a samurai?"

"I'll tell you… but first, could you help me? I'm a little lost, since it's my first time here."

"…Okay?"

"Because I heard there was this really cool place around here called Ichiraku that serves really cool Ramen! You know where it is?"

"Well… yeah-"

"Good, lead me!"

"What? Do expect me just to drag you around the place?"

"Well… yeah… I was hoping somebody could tell me the sights along to way too… you know… tour guide… PLEASE?" Naruto was on his knees, his face transformed into a trembling and tear bubbling, pleading form.

"Good god! Fine! Just don't give me that face!" Sakura backed away, hands defending herself from the hideous sight. _WHAT THE HELL? DO THAT AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU! YA DIG?_

"Yeah! Ramen, ramen! Here I come!"

"Fine, but along the way, be sure to tell me if you see Sasuke-kun."

"Sasuke? Who's he?"

From there, the trip was lined with fanciful descriptions of the number one Rookie's various moments of coolness and of his hair, eyes, skill and so forth.

Naruto? "He sounds overrated." He promptly decided to himself out loud as he looked up into the sky.

Thwack.

-

-

-

Upon the sighting the street and the wood framed Ramen stand, Naruto –note the large bump swelling out of the side of his head- also saw a familiar pair also come down the opposite end of the lane. Even though he hated the ninja, Naruto at least decided to greet his sister-in-arms.

"Haku! You made it! I see you brought that loser with you…" Naruto exclaimed as he ran up to Haku, leaving his cherry-tinted tour guide in the dust.

"It was a little bit troublesome, but I was still able Mizuki here was still able to show me where some interesting things are…"

"Really…" Naruto deadpanned. He didn't like the thought of being helped by a ninja… like him. Sakura was fine, though. For now. Hell knows how ninjas end up in a few years. Seriously, Mizuki here is trying to betray his own village, that ought to account for something.

"Eh? Mizuki-sensei? What are you doing here?" Sakura asked, surprised at the sight of one of her academy faculty members outside of work.

"Oh, nothing really. I was guiding this newcomer here around. You?"

"I was doing the same!"

"How coincidental that we met while doing the same thing!" The silver-headed Chuunin said with a smile (that Naruto and Haku could easily see was the fakest one they have ever encountered yet).

"I wonder where Sensei went…" Naruto questioned out loud.

"BASTARD!" Came the voice of such, while two figures ran into the street the gathering crowd of tourist and tour guide was meeting at. One of which was the ever familiar sight of Inukage Tetsuya, faced contorted with zealous passion, his Super Shinny Spinny Attack manga in a hand that reached through the crème cloak. The Samurai was currently pursing a quarry of another vested and uniformed ninja, a bit like Mizuki. This one however had hair of more of a graying tone that shot up against gravity like a frayed broom. Only a dull black eye that experienced much boredom in its life was all that can be seen of the man's face, the bottom half covered in a mask up to his nose, while the metal plate of the ninja was held lopsided against his head, so that half of it tilted over the left like an eye patch. In this ninja's hand was a hard cover volume of some sort, emblazoned with 'ages eighteen and over' logos all over.

All over the street the two readers dueled, as the sounds in the air were of clacks as the two spines of the books combated against each other's surface. Again the two spines impacted each other, the force blowing wind dramatically everywhere while the spines held in deadlock, the Rangers combating with all their might against Junko, Yuri, Natsumi, and all the other psychotic half naked chicks.

Tetsuya broke off first, throwing his weight back as he prepared to thrust forward in attack again. "Damn you! I will defeat you, JIRAIYA!"

The Samurai flew forward, eye flashing with power, "SUPRAH SHINNNEEE SPINNEEEE ATTTTTACCCKKKOOOOOO!"

"Too slow!" The masked ninja swung upwards in a decisive strike, Make Out Violence knocking the Super Shiny Spinny Attack out of Tetsuya's hand, whereupon it flew up into the air.

While the group by the Ramen stand looked up to follow, the book fell back onto Naruto's face, knocking him down for the third time that day. No luck at all.

Meanwhile, the ninja's book was held dangerously into the face of the Samurai's prone, sweating and conceding form. A deft hand movement by the single eyed shinobi opened up Make Out Violence to a certain page.

"Read it." He said, the single eyeball of boredom never changing at all.

"No! I cannot!"

"You know the rules. Loser has to read the most humiliating line on the page out LOUD. Do it."

Tetsuya's scrunched up in expected emotion before his face blanked out, giving a wide and dead grin, "WOW! THOSE THIGHS DO SURE THUNDER, AYAME! LET'S SEE IF I CAN MAKE IT CRACK AGAIN!"

Silence.

"NOOOOO!" Tetsuya crumpled on the ground.

"Well, that's over…" The ninja with the perverted book made flipped his hand together into a position that resulted in an explosion of smoke and his disappearance thereafter.

"God damnit! I have dishonored my clan! This calls for stabbing myself! DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!" Tetsuya wailed with an unsheathed sword.

"Sensei!"

"No!"

Immediately the two students tackled their disillusioned teacher, as the three wrestled for control of the eye-patched samurai's sword. Meanwhile, Sakura and Mizuki just blanched.

And backed away. Slowly.

As the two retreated, Mizuki prayed this plan would work.

Sakura had interesting comments of her own, _Holy Crap! I am not going to train under a ninja like that! He looks so stupid with that book and everything, Ech!_

Of course we all know what would transpire tomorrow on graduation day.

-

-

-

The dead of night, hours after dinner, and hours past the one where everyone gave up staying awake. Little clouds were in the sky, keeping the moon free to silhouette and glow on the village. Three stood on the telephone pole array. The three of them looked on down the valley of streets to the north side of the village, where four monstrous faces of certain heroes long past had been immortalized on the high rocky cliff. Under those heads, a building of interest was there. It was highlighted with red structuring over its white walls and flat roof where ones of importance would utter speeches. A well kept office and place of pride of the village, though not necessarily sacred, as ninja of every rank walked that roof without fear.

"So, that Forbidden scroll is a big ass piece of shit in the Hokage's joint, hm?" The one on the very top of the communications stand mused, legs crossed and arms supporting a lose head. Its single eye still shown with anger over his loss.

"Haku, does Mizuki know where the scroll is exactly?" A shorter one said, moonlight barely reflecting off the yellow spiked locks of his head. He sat on a small device a little lower on the telephone pole, and to the left of his mentor.

"Not really. But he suspects it is near the Hokage's office, or even in it. A high-level document should be under the protection of a high-level ninja." The other one on the other side opposite of

"Man… this is going take forever! And we might have to fight that Hokage! I heard he's the strongest ninja from Sakura." The boy in the dark grumbled.

"No worry! You all know I have a little trick that lets me See! I just need to know the size of that scroll, and I should be able to find it in that office." The oldest grinned sneakily.

"It's ironic that our sensei who has only one eye, yet has the most perception out of all of us. I assume that is from that treasure you told us a while back, the one that belongs to your family?"

"Yeah, sensei! You never told us exactly what that treasure was!"

"…Well, we've been together for a long time, and this might actually kill one of us. So it should be your right to know. But…"

"But?"

"I'm a bit worried you might break off from me if I do tell you." The lone eye of the silhouette sadly wondered.

"What! Why would we leave because of one thing?" The boy exclaimed.

"We always accepted each other despite our pasts, why is this time different?" The senior student asked.

"Because this is beyond being delinquent brats in our childhood." Was the muttered reply.

"…Sensei… you're being angsty."

"Keecch, ack! God damn I hate this village! The whole place is gloomy! Let's just go get that scroll and get out!" Came the hurried and disgusted reply. The tallest one stood up with a 'follow me!' and jumped off the high metal pole, his two students dropping after him, where they set off after that fortress of that Hokage.

With moonlight on their faces rather on their backs, the three samurai came into flesh as they bounded across streets and building sides and roofs, propelling themselves towards their destination. As they floated over the perimeter of the building, Tetsuya turned to his female protégé.

"Haku, the Hokage's office is where?"

"It's near the back. Mizuki said there was only one entrance in."

Landing on the roof, Tetsuya held a frown while they traversed the cement expanse. "What'd he expect us to do? Storm the damn building? That's suicide."

"Maybe there's a window or something. Hokages are leaders, right? They have to have some sort of perk, like a panoramic view." Naruto pointed out.

Naruto's assumptions proved useful this time. A bit of investigation on the north wall, the one facing the giant faces carved in the cliffs, found the three samurai standing on a large strip of glass that served as a window. On the other side was a ridiculously large office, a single seat swamped by an over sized desk, the walls piled with hanging scrolls and shelves of recorded knowledge. The resident of this chamber was currently missing, and the room unused, leaving the chamber dark, as the window was under an overhang and on the far side of the building away from the moon's rays.

Still, one could still managed to discern a rather large scroll in a glass case. The case was behind the desk of the Fire Shadow, and nestled on the ledge in front of the window.

The same window the samurai were attached to.

"Man, this is really easy! We'll be out of this village before the sun rises!" Naruto snickered.

Tetsuya gave a sort of skeptical look at the window before smashing his fist down on it suddenly. The glass shuddered, but no damage, even from that force.

"Sensei! What are you thinking!" Naruto hissed, while his teacher did the same, holding his hand.

"What do you think?"

Naruto mumbled something about how to do it the right way before kicking at the glass, which promptly repelled the attempt.

The boy samurai looked disgusted, while his teacher gave an 'eat that, bitch' look.

"Tetsuya sensei, I might be able to freeze the glass." Haku suggested.

"Are you capable of that?" Tetsuya asked. He didn't recall teaching Haku a trick like that.

"Well, I never really thought I'd use my Bloodline in such a manner, I wouldn't know." Was all she could say, with a bit of a helpless shrug.

"Find out, then."

The three of them moved around the edges of one pane, Naruto and Tetsuya on one side, Haku on the opposite. As they all crouched, Haku raised her arm above her, calling the vaporized water in the air to super condense into a sharp blade of ice that formed upside down in her grip. The downwards stab this time was able to pierce the glass somewhat, releasing small spider web cracks around the penetration.

A claxon sounded around the building, calling attention to an infiltration of the Hokage's office.

"God damnit! Haku!" Tetsuya hissed.

The female samurai concentrated as her sword slowly shrunk, the ice from the blade being forced into miniscule cracks, elongating the random lines slowly across the whole of the pane.

Footfalls were quickly being heard approaching the office, while Naruto was shouting to Haku to hurry up.

"Nearly there!"

"Fuck nearly there! Naruto! Break the glass!"

Naruto responded an affirmative as he stood up and un-slung his sheathed sword, while the other two backed away. Holding his weapon with both hands, he brought his sword down onto the frozen and damaged glass, this time shattering a wide hole in the window.

"Thieves!" A cry came. The vested ninja that kicked open the door quickly flung a kunai at Naruto, who had just finished tying his sword against his back again, and was reaching for the scroll. A brief gasp at effort had Naruto swinging his body out of the exposed window, and 'falling' backwards onto surrounding windows that had not been broken. Haku was already clambering over to the opening, ice forming between her fingers before she flung the sharp pieces back. The ninja easily jumped out of the way of the barrage, as more ninja and thrown blades arrived, Tetsuya and Haku barely managing to defend their point while their final companion tried to reach for the glass encased scroll amidst the whole thing.

Easily, the whole thing was going to hell while the glass barriers between the three samurai and bladed and impaled death was slowly thinning.

"Got it!" Was a triumphant call, as the glass case was thrown off and the sides of the immense device grasped. The three samurai managed to climb out of the way just before a kunai with a flash-grenade tied to it exploded, nearly blinding the three criminals.

Obviously the scroll was made with a past intent of travel in mind, as a sling attached to the sides of the wood core of the large scroll easily enabled its lemon-topped captor to run and carry the Forbidden thing around his shoulder, as the three bounded across the roof and into the night sky, more alarms being sounded across the village.

"This sucks! I can't draw properly with this piece of crap on me!" Naruto shouted over the alarms and the vested ninjas shouting to cease and desist or their coordinated movements to strike at the fleeing three. Like the boy's cry, the sling that carried his hostage had been thrown sloppily over the handle guard of his sword, preventing him from attacking with his weapon.

"Haku! Where's that traitor want us to meet?" Tetsuya called out to their leading samurai. Even if he had a dislike of ninja, that didn't call him to reveal his client's names in a situation like this.

"There a certain clearing across the east side of the village walls. There!" Haku called back.

"What the fuck! He wants us to run across the whole damn village?" Tetsuya screamed.

Things were really looking down. Tetsuya sighed as he knew the best and stupidest plan to follow.

"Naruto! Go to the meeting place first! Stick to the shadows! Haku and I are going to distract them!"

"You're telling me to run away like a coward?"

"Idiot! I suppose it's much more honorable to ignore the point of this job and fight and hold the scroll at the same time! Idiot!"

Naruto only growled in frustration as the three stopped hopping across roofs momentarily to run across the surface of one particular one, which had a deep and narrow alley between it and another. As Haku and Tetsuya traversed the short gap, Naruto seemingly disappeared there.

"You know Naruto doesn't like running away from his family in danger," Haku quickly noted to her teacher beside her, "It makes him feel like he isn't sharing in the same troubles as we do."

"I'll apologize to him later, okay?" Tetsuya hissed back in annoyance, while he dug a heel into roof and spun around to meet any coming pursuers. Haku, realizing their stand being made stopped as well.

They were not disappointed as ninja appeared, occupying the buildings around the roof that the two remaining samurai were on.

One of the ninja scrutinized the two before realizing something, "I saw another one with them! Find-"

A kunai sank into the ground between his feet, causing him to jump back and face the one who threw it. Tetsuya, eye half-lidded in annoyance while his hand, pushed through the lone sleeve of his cloak, was still caught in a loose throwing position, as if he threw his weapon half-assedly with just the strength of his wrist.

"Hey, Haku. What's this I hear about these damn ninja ignoring us?" Tetsuya sneered.

"I think he just said that our youngest companion was more important than the two of us combined." Haku played along with a calm demeanor.

"Oh, ho? Is that so?" Tetsuya called out, as his hand reached to the handle of his katana that poked through his long mantle. With a ring, the blade slid out of its resting place, and was held loosely by the old samurai's side, "How 'bout I show you ninja why my two friends call me 'sensei'? After that, I'll be having each of you calling me 'sama' as well."

"That bastard-" One of the incensed ninja began. One of the more experienced and older cut in.

"Stop it! He's just distracting us-"

The one-eye samurai was already on the same roof, and slicing through the heavy vest, and bringing down the veteran as he cut short with a cry of pain.

"So that's it, huh? I'm just a distraction! How insulting! Come on, all ya young'uns! Get to calling me Tetsuya-sama!" Sensei sneered again at the younger ninjas.

"Get him!" The more temperamental and young shinobi screamed while they closed in on both of them.

Soon enough, the two samurai were shifting back and forth through group of buildings. By staying in the same place as their defeated enemies and not running, they hoped that their angered opponents would continue to be distracted by fighting, and not get time to regain their cool and regroup enough to chase after the Uzumaki.

Justus and kunai flew everywhere, as the samurai jumped back and forth slicing whoever they could and mostly wasting their time continually switching their bodies with whatever nearby object they could as everything tried to kill them at every possible angle.

Really, the whole place was slowly fogging up from kawarimi smoke.

"Sensei, we can't go on forever like this!" Haku said amidst knocking kunai out of the air with her sword.

"Shut up and watch your back!" Tetsuya managed to shout back as he locked blades with a kunai of another vested ninja. He kicked away the ninja before backing up to meet the same backpedaling form of his student.

"This is real tiring shit, Haku." Tetsuya breathed.

"We won't be able to get out of this unless we incapacitate every ninja in this village." Haku likewise heavily drew out with breath.

"So… how many did we get?"

"Not enough. There's still a majority around us."

"I hope Naruto's having a better time than this."

-

-

-

"Sensei better be alright after this whole business…" Naruto groaned as he lay on the grass. Escape had been easy when all the ninjas had been jumping over the roofs and clambering to get a chance at the two ruckus makers, and not pay attention at whom had been hidden under the overhangs they just passed. Eventually he was able to make it out of the perimeter walls. The clearing made itself apparent in the forest as a small moss consumed hut lay in the center of it. There, Naruto threw off his burden and was where he was.

Feeling someone approach, Naruto pulled himself up, and pulled his back into shape with a few audible cracks and held his sword loosely in arms.

"Took you long enough-" Naruto began before realizing that it wasn't any of his comrades, or even Mizuki (whom, honestly he expected to arrive first).

Some damn ninja with a vest landed on a branch high up above, and one Naruto had no intent of socializing with. This one had his hair pulled back into a rather short ponytail, and Naruto could easily see a long scar starting on one cheek, crossing his nose and ending on the other.

"And who the hell are you?" Naruto shouted up. The ninja looked surprised at something.

"…It's a kid?"

"What do you mean 'it's a kid'? All your ninja start as kids! Don't look down on me or I'll kick your ass even more than I need to!"

"Do you even know what you're stealing?"

" 'course I do! So stop taking me with kid gloves! If you want this, come and get it!" Naruto shouted, pulling his sword free, and switched the grip on his scabbard so it was held forward like a sword as well.

"W-wait! I don't want to fight you!"

"Why's that? 'cause I'm a kid? Then why did you even follow me?"

"…"

"I don't need an answer. I can't have you running off either shouting where we're going to meet either, so no hard feelings-"

The boy's light leaping motion propelled him through the air towards the scarred-nosed ninja, who barely managed to jump away before the branch under him fell apart in clean pieces. The ninja landed on the forest floor at the same time his 'opponent' arrived on the same surface to continue pursuit, and so chased after him.

Each other commented and cursed each other in their minds at the speed each moved at, as one continually evaded the child whose sword lanced out in arcs of light. But while the pacifist ninja was too busy watching the directions of the glowing blade, the darker sheath swung in low and jabbed in deep into his midsection knocking him back into the wall of the wooden facility. Naruto was already dashing over to the off guard ninja, hoping to get the whole thing over by piercing him through.

But maybe in the shoulder or the knee or something. This guy was entirely too nice to kill.

The ninja was already done with the elementary level hand seals, and in a blur of motion, already moved out of the way of the oncoming blade, before the ninja broke up into four look alikes. Naruto was too busy keeping track of each one that his sword jammed deep into the wood, and bashed the side of his face after in the same wall.

Naruto again cursed for two reasons. One was that he actually was stupid enough to run his head into a wall (Tetsuya sensei would have never let that down if he saw), and the fact the ninja actually got around to using a technique like Bunshin No Jutsu. Unlike his sensei, Naruto wasn't able to discern just by sight which of the four look-alikes among the trees were just smoke and air, and which one was real. But if he kept his eye on all four, at least he could prevent him from running off.

Several somethings whistled through the canopy of the forest towards Naruto then-

_There were two of them?_

The ninja disagreed with Naruto's assumption, showing his own surprise as a multi layered salvo of flying kunai struck down on the young samurai, who despite efforts and his success of digging his katana out before, only managed to get the projectiles form hitting anything critical. Thus, Naruto was thrown up against the side of the hut from the sheer force of the flying elements before dropping to a knee, many of the daggers still embedded across his limbs as his orange robe slowly dyed red.

"I'm glad you made it, Naruto…" A shadow sniggered as it arose from the rest of the darkness, "Oh, Iruka? I didn't know you had it in you to actually take on a dangerous criminal like this?" The blur of darkness called out.

"Damnit… so that was the whole plan?" Naruto coughed out.

The replications of the scarred ninja disappeared, leaving a single confused 'Iruka'.

"Mizuki, what's going on?"

Mizuki was obviously prepared to handle the samurai. Two disturbingly large shuriken were tied against his back. These devices were so large, they probably were in fact the length of his back.

"I'll tell you what's going on!" Naruto screamed, "Mizuki called the three of us to get that scroll for him, and now he's betraying us! He's going to run off with that scroll for himself!"

"Don't listen to him, Iruka. He's just outdated trash that wants to make a name for himself by stealing our scroll."

"But… he's just a kid!"

"He's Uzumaki Naruto."

Iruka's eyes widened at those words, "You mean he's…"

"What do you mean, 'I'm Uzumaki Naruto'? What's so special about me?" Naruto managed to cry out through his barraged body.

"True… I did promise you the truth, didn't I? The reason why everybody hates you…"

"Mizuki, wait!" The scarred shinobi argued, "If he's Naruto, that means-"

"Shut up, Iruka! He's going to die anyways, since he stole the Forbidden Scroll!"

"But you can't-"

"I can! I had enough with your whining!" In a single smooth motion, Mizuki reached behind himself and threw his one of his over sized shuriken at the other ninja, who dodged a little too slowly, thus his entire chest got half cleaved by the spinning weapon and fell to the ground, unable to move.

"Damnit… you really are going to betray the village…"

The silver-headed ultimate traitor just snorted nonchalantly before facing the younger of his two victims from his high tree perch. "So you want to know, huh?"

"What do you want from me, Mizuki?" Naruto growled back.

"It's simple really, once you understand… you know, twelve years ago… you know what happened twelve years ago in Konoha, the day you were born?"

"That story was practically spat into my face when I was a kid. You're talking about, Kyuubi aren't you?"

"What's that story say again?"

"What's that got to do with anything? The Fourth Hokage fought that demon to a stand still they eventually killed each other! That's the story!"

"That's not the story, that's the fairy tale that got fed to kids."

This stopped the boy in his tracks.

"What-what do you mean?"

"Mizuki! Don't tell him! He doesn't have to know!" Iruka called out in the background. No one listened.

Mizuki continued to speak, "Twelve years ago, a new law was passed. A new law that was not allowed for you to know exist."

"What law?"

"The law that said 'Don't tell Uzumaki Naruto that he's the Kyuubi that nearly destroyed Konoha'."

"…What?"

"You're the Kyuubi! The Fourth couldn't kill you, so he just sealed you into the body of a new-born baby! Uzumaki Naruto's body! You're just the second life of the thing that killed everybody's friend and family! Even Iruka over here! You killed his parents!"

"That's not true! It can't be! I don't remember any of it! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

"That's just a god damn name! Why the hell does everybody hate you then? Because you're a brat? No! All the adults know! And they told their children to hate you! That's all your good for, being hated! You're just demon in a boy's skin!"

"It's not true!" 'Kyuubi' screamed, beating his free fist into the grass ground. "I don't know any of those people! I don't know anything about attacking Konoha! I'm just Naruto!"

"Say that to the creator when this is all over." The silver hair among the shadows sneered as the second large shuriken slid into his hand, "I'll kill you, get that Scroll back and be a hero. I'll just steal it when the time's better. Your so-called samurai friends should be dead by now. What about you Iruka? Wouldn't it be nice if the monster that killed your parents got a nice slow death as well?"

Iruka, on his back, needed only a glance at the bawling twelve year old to have an answer, "I don't believe a kid like him could be Kyuubi. Demons don't cry over their crimes. This is wrong Mizuki!"

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to make up a story about how you died. But I'm sure at least your name would be etched on the stone, so good bye, starting with you demon!"

The shuriken left the traitor's swinging wrist, and spun through the air at the still Naruto, who was still too distracted by truth to recognize necessity.

A blur and a hand pulled Naruto by his collar out the path, leaving the second weapon by the traitor to plant itself fast in the side of the hut.

"Kyuubi or not, he's much better company than even you," A slashed, bloodied and semi-kunai ridden Haku simply replied, her blade of ice in one hand protectively, and the other hand still clutching her brother-in-arm's haori.

Mizuki was nothing short of shocked and livid, "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Kill me yourself then."

"Sorry the hero's late, everybody!" Tetsuya, also as war torn as the others called out as he charged through the brush, his sleeved arm lazily hanging his blade over his shoulder, "Holy crap, everybody looks like a pincushion!"

"What the hell? You were up against the entire village! How did you escape?" Mizuki was yelling down.

"Escape? Aw, we ain't that good. Right now that surplus of those ninjas are coming here as we speak. So you'll be in a whole fiasco once they get here." Tetsuya snickered.

"Sensei… I…I'm the-"

"Yeah, I know, the Nine-Tailed Fox Kyuubi that trashed Konoha. But are ya gonna cry about being a demon in a company of monsters, or are you going to move on and do something about it?"

"Sensei…" Naruto again sniffed. Even now, his mentor still accepted him.

"So, Mr. Ninja, let's end this show between us, eh?" Tetsuya drawled, "Haku, look after Naruto, and keep him out of the fire, cool?"

"Yes, Tetsuya-sensei."

"None of you are going to leave here alive!" Mizuki screamed, as a scroll was pulled from a pouch by his hop. From the seals within, smoke exploded as several more of the shuriken he so adored to use, were continually screaming through the air at the one-eyed Samurai.

And with all flying through the air, Tetsuya still swerved side to side, dodging each metal wheel of death, "Naruto a tailed-demon, huh? I'll show you what's a demon, mother fucker."

With that, Tetsuya turned a full circle by a shuriken that passed right beside him. In that, his katana slipped into the circular space inside the spinning device. Whereas it was originally used for a hand to grip, the samurai was spinning around and using his sword to fling the projectile back at the silver-head traitor. Mizuki, given the distance, was able to jump off the branch as he dodged, meanwhile flicking his wrist at his swordsman enemy, a small kunai flying back at Tetsuya.

The samurai was about to swing down on the attack to knock it out of the air when it exploded mid-flight, lighting up the battlefield in a burning red.

'Sensei!'s is distress were called out at the sight. An eye patch fell onto the ground in front of Tetsuya's students.

Mizuki dropped down to laugh at the fireball, "So much for that age of samurai!"

"_What's this… you wanna see what's a demon so bad?"_ Was a mumble in the air.

Mizuki traced the mumbling to a Tetsuya figure that was just standing up, char and dirt all over his cloak.

"What did you say?"

"You wanna see what's under this eye so bad?" Tetsuya sneered as he turned to face Mizuki. His charcoal black left was still operable, but his right, once with an eye patch, showed a perfectly formed lid that opened up to a horrified shout by the traitor-nin.

"What happened to that eye?"

Carved onto both sides of his eyelids were black and scrawling lines of a seal that circled the whole optical cover. The eye itself had no pupil, with the same black seals crawling all over the perfect white expanse in ever shrinking lines of rings, like the seals were trying to be a retina, pupil and everything else. The whole eye seemed to be trying to glow an ethereal white.

"I had a visit from some ninjas once." Tetsuya recalled, "They figured it was easier to carry a demon home in a five year old boy. I proved them wrong. This is my tenant that lives in this eye. Houkou, the Five-Tailed Dog-Beast. He'll whisper all those secrets to me about how to beat you. I can see through all secrets and all things hidden. All illusions are all fake to me."

'Houkou' pointed his sword at Mizuki, "That's why I can be equal to ninja, and I'll be carving you up in no time."

"M-monster! It doesn't matter! You're still stuck in human shells! I'll kill all of you!" Kunai raged as a storm from the traitor to the samurai. Several more of them exploded in mid air again as the samurai tried to charge towards the ninja.

As Mizuki sweated coldly at the thought of fighting this creature, the evil-eyed samurai burst through the pillar of flames, his cloak free in one hand to wave away the flames and continue charging towards the traitor.

Stress filled, Mizuki cried out a death threat as he pulled out a single kunai to stab at his foe. Just as he swung forward, 'Houkou', merely threw his cloak in front of him, putting up a barrier of white between the two. Where Mizuki thought the demon's head once was, his blade was stabbing through the cloak into empty air.

Something cold pierced through his stomach there. Looking down he saw a dark vested and pant form, lean muscles and all hunched over with a sword driven into his body.

Mizuki tried to garble something out of his coppering mouth, but the demon didn't listen.

"This time, Mr. Ninja… No final words for you!" A single defying shout tore the handle towards the dying ninja's side, where a two handed grip ripped the red sword out of his back.

So much red mist wafted in the air as the ninja collapsed, balance knocking his body open in two, a bloody hinge on one side, and spilling red everything across under the night sky and night grass.

And so nothing was said as the fire burned.

A flick drew off excess blood before sheathing the blade, and the samurai, after picking up his battered mantle, hoisted such over his shoulder and walked over to pluck up his eye patch in front of his students.

"Haku, Naruto. You two alright?"

There was a pause of awkwardness before the boy spoke up, "Us alright? You got blown up twice!"

A finger sheepishly scratched the side of his chin, "Well…yeah…"

"Tetsuya-sensei… what do we do now?"

"Quit the job and recuperate somewhere else. Hey, you ninja… Iru-whatever."

The ninja, back propped up against the tree, due to Haku's courteous tendencies, looked up at the address, "Huh?"

"I came in just in time to hear you say that you don't have a problem with Naruto here. I gotta thank you for sticking up for him. Nehways, I hope you'll stick around and tell your ninja buddies about Mizuki betraying everybody, right?"

"Yes."

"And I am assured that you will keep secret what I revealed to you, **CORRECT?"**

"…Yes."

"Good! Now we have no real reason to keep that Forbidden Scroll, so we'll leave that with you, 'kay?"

"Er…"

"Don't need an answer, just telling you."

A few minute later, the three samurai, arms over each others shoulders, carried themselves and whatever tools they had and disappeared into the forest.

The pursing chuunin arrived soon enough, and at Iruka's condition and at his suggestion, catch up with the samurai later.

_Uzumaki Naruto… Now I know what became of you. I don't hate you. I hope you'll be safe with your friends… wherever you go…_

-

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-

Next Chapter: The three samurai run into the wilderness, and time passes for the three of them. Typical Arc ends, Evil Arc begins. The three will find themselves under the employ of the Marine Corporation Extraordinaire, and meet an old 'friend again'.

A/N: Goddamn, Goddamn! I'm sure you all realize how long it took me to write this damn thing! I refuse to break this up into two or three chapters! It's god damn two in the morning now! I'll never make it to school, tomorrow!

Oh yeah, props to Kaeru Soyokaze, or whatever the penname is written as. The NejiTen Oneshots she(?) writes helped with that Team Gai-Haku scene.


	5. Evil: Marine Corporation Extraordinaire!

My sources used for the Houkou demon and the general Tailed-Demon mythology is in the following-

forums. narutofan. com/ show thread .php? t(equalsign) 33015& highlight(equalsign)demons (delete spaces to get correct adress)

**- **

**-   
**

Up in a tree, the three held their breath and watched their… campfire (oh no, not the campfire) be desecrated by the Konoha ninja scouring the area, each wearing a blank white mask.

"This fire's fresh! They should still be around here. Look, they were even trying to make some breakfast." One of the ninja noted, nudging one of the slowly grilling fish on a stick.

The lone eyeball of the group twitched.

"_Naruto. This is why I said raw fish for the next couple of weeks. Bloody idiot."_ A 'monkey' hissed out as a mating call from up above.

"_Hey! We didn't take the scroll, isn't that enough?"_ A 'bird' squawked out.

_"No! So what, we didn't take a scroll! We killed how many ninja? Plus you're goddamn 'Kyuubi', and if that Iru-whatever is a real ninja, then they know I'm goddamn 'Houkou' too! Why else do you think they're sending such high level hunters after us?"_

"_Sensei, Naruto, don't talk so much, they'll hear us."_ A 'squirrel' for some reason, managed to chitter out.

One of the ninjas looked up at the commotion. "They're they are!"

Obviously, the three samurai needed lessons in how to imitate the various animal calls of tree dwellers.

While the remaining shinobi merged in to capture the escaping convicts, the three just gave their mental equivalents of sighing.

Queue fight number… what, seven? Seventh fight of the month.

-

-

-

**Evil: Marine Corporation Extraordinaire!**

-

-

-

You have defeated Hunter-Nin (4) for 120 EXP.

You have received: Several meters of bandages, various throwing weapons, yadda yadda yadda. Oh, and some of them were carrying some food, that's should be worth something.

"Oi… sensei… this is getting ridiculous…" Naruto mumbled as he hunched along, bored and tired of the whole fighting ninjas and everything. The dried meat was a bit of a plus though.

Tetsuya returned a hum as he chewed on his… whatever it was. What did they call pieces of meat wrapped in flat breads of pancakes?

"Tetsuya-sensei… do you even have a plan of how to deal with this?" Haku put bluntly. Her teacher's avoidance of the issue was generally, pissing everybody off.

"… Do you even want to know?"

"You don't even have a plan, do you, sensei?" Naruto deadpanned.

"AGH! Fine!" Tetsuya turned around to look back at his procession, "I never took a job as big as this! Usually when I piss somebody off, I just run far, far away."

"That's it?"

"Yes!"

"Tetsuya-sensei. These are **ninja** we are dealing with."

"I know that! So what if they don't forget as easily as any other random thug! As soon as we get far away, they'll have a hard time finding us!"

"Sensei! But we are already far away! They still keep finding us!" Naruto pointed out.

"That's why… WE ARE RUNNING AWAY!"

"Agh! My sensei is an idiot!" The younger male dropped to the ground with a cry.

"WHAT YOU SAY?"

Badump-a-crash-a-thump-a-kill.

Haku closed her eyes and gave another sigh. Leave it to the women to stop these sorts of things.

She delicately cracked her knuckles.

-

-

-

"So, Tetsuya-sensei. Do we have an idea now?" Haku asked in her kneeling position, as she regarded the two piles of dead swordsmen in front of her.

"I guess." Went the one-eyed samurai, who lay face down on the ground. It was a wonder how he wasn't suffocating, or even being heard through the dirt.

"Will this idea actually work, sensei?" Naruto dully asked on his back.

"Eh… there's a chance for everything to screw up or work perfectly." Tetsuya shrugged, "I heard of a small out of the way place in my travels. I don't go there very often, though. It's known as the Wave Country. It doesn't have a ninja village, so word of evil-samurai should take longer to get there, plus it's a backwater place, so ninja don't go there very often, too."

"Oi, sensei. But if there is no ninja village there, that still makes it free game for any ninja to come by."

"Yeah, pretty much. But I think it's far enough from Konoha to hide."

"How much farther is it?" Haku inquired.

"Prolly not too much. But it's pretty much cut off from the main land by water. We'll need a boat."

"And where do we find a boat, sensei?" Naruto asked.

"I think there's a pretty popular port in the direction we were headed in…"

-

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-

Cuttlefish Port. What an ugly name. Then again, the place wasn't particularly special. It was more like an industrial port, in anything. Cement squares that ended abruptly in front of the water, stone buildings that were bastard children of stores and warehouses. Boats were plentiful, and not too many looked like they were around for pleasure cruises. A few lazy trails of smoke led up into the sky.

"Alright, let's check our resources. Cash out!"

Silence.

_Damn it, we shouldn't have bought those snacks for lunch…_

"Aw! What the hell? We shouldn't have bought those dango!" Naruto exclaimed, as the wood stick that once held the snacks was being chewed up between his teeth.

"We can't even **rent** a rowboat with this money, Tetsuya-sensei." Haku glumly calculated.

"Well… no worries! We were always piss-ass broke anyways!" Tetsuya happily noted, swinging his arm around in a 'you can do it' fashion.

"You say that like it's a good thing, sensei…"

"Shut up! As I was saying, we'll just do what poor people do when they're on the move!"

"Beg?"

"Hitch hike!"

-

-

-

Hitch hiking, in the general insane dialogue of the Inukage was more like 'Hitch hijacking'. The three would force their way onto the nicest boat and force them to drop them off at Wave Country. So the three made their way along the edge of the gray docks, gauging each boat by something. Perhaps they were checking the fate meter see that was best for them.

"Oi, check out that one!" Tetsuya pointed to a red steel boat. It was still being loaded with whatever it was that boats of the time were loaded with, and damn that was a rich boat. People in suits were entering along with the regular punk chest-bearing idiots, and the boat was huge and everything and-

"That one?" Naruto scrunched up his face at the immense vehicle, "I don't think rich people let poor people hitch-hike on their boats."

"Aw, don't worry. Watch the master at being a poor bitch get to his magic…" Tetsuya said as he paced over.

Naruto and Haku already knew this was going to hell, but before they could do anything, the watched in horror as their teacher stopped right in front of the procession of ugly bodyguards and rich people, and thrust out his arm, a single thumb pointed up in the air.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I'm hitch hiking."

"Well take that shit somewhere else!"

"Hey! You don't know about hitch hiking? The shit I'm doing is supposed to annoy people until they admit defeat."

"Get out of the way or we'll kick your ass!"

"Bah! You're just some no name fat-assed Yojimbos who can't fight for shit! I am Inukage Tetsuya, samurai! Ass kicker! Reader and Student of Super Shinny Spinny Attack, whose omnipotent fighting techniques recorded within are a hundred times superior to your skills! Plus, I have an eye patch and a cloak that billows out all awesome in the wind! I have a higher bad ass rating than you! BITCH!"

"Bastard! I'll cut your ass to pieces!" A particular figure that was to board the boat screamed. Armed with his bare chest and vest, Mohawk and some sort of curving blade scimitar whatever, he charged forwards.

A single hand reached out of Tetsuya's cloak, and in a single deft motion hammered a knuckled into the bodyguard's face while his weapon was still raised in the air, eliciting chokes and stumbled gasps as the Mohawk man was trying to figure out what just happened. Sauntering back and forth with raised fists, Tetsuya easily pummeled his 'opponent' several more times, before dastardly kick to the bodyguard's crotch brought him down low in a shriek of pain.

Perfect set up for-

"MIGHTAH FIST UPRAH!" (Volume 16, Chapter 260)

The bodyguard sailed through the air from the uppercut and disappeared behind the group of shocked ship boarders. Tetsuya himself stayed in his dramatic pose of his fist being in the air for a while until his arm lowered to eye level.

A thumb was raised next to a badass eye.

"So… can you guys let me on?"

Naruto interjected here, "Sensei! I wanna hitch hike too!" and the youngest of the three samurai raised his thumb too. Haku gaped at her fellow student.

"Naruto! What are you doing?"

"But Sensei beat up that guy really easily! He didn't even need to use his sword! At this rate we can all get on the ship really easily!" The object of berating argued.

At this Haku sighed and raised her own thumb, "Alright, I'll hitch hike, too."

One of the rich guys in a suit pointed his finger angrily at the living roadblocks. "You bastards! You think you can get away with this? That was just one guy, and I doubt you can take all of our bodyguards at once!"

Tetsuya frowned at the comment, "Hey, we took down a lot of ninja. In fact we took down a lot of ninja at once. You should be the ones doubting if you can take all of us at once. Or you can just let us on the ship."

The man who originally said so felt a bead of sweat run down his head, "Well, that's big talk! Let's find out, boys!"

An accompaniment of vicious cheers followed before the small crowd rushed at the three.

-

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A certain businessman sat in the richest and most decorated room in the ship that a certain three were paying passage onto. This one had a suit much like the other ones outside, but his suit was the one that set the standards for others to follow. This man was short, with slightly balding scalp of brown hair, wearing a pair of small round sunglasses that covered his eyes, and the undisputed king of his boat, and many others in his corporation. In his plush seat, the man rapped one finger on the arm of his throne, while another held the side of his head at the temple, as if he were trying to massage a headache that was being caused by the man cowering on the floor in front of him. On either side of the king of the business were two of his most trusted protectors. Both were swordsmen by the fact katanas hung on belts on their hips. One had his patterned kimono thrown off scarred and tattooed torso leaving the excess cloth to hang from his belt, while the rest of his robe covered his legs. The other was the complete opposite, a dark cap hiding his hair while a large and floppy gray winter jacket and a pair of pants covered his form.

"Captain," said the King, "why aren't we taking off?"

"M-my apologies, Gatoh-sama. There is an interference outside that is delaying us."

"Inteference? What sort of _outside_ interference could possibly stop a ship like this?" The king, Gatoh snorted. He wondered if it was worth killing him now or later for this. He didn't need ships piloted by idiots.

"W-well, you see, uh, some vagrants have started a commotion outside, and th-they're stopping any more of your employees from boarding until they are allowed to board as well…"

"And since when did you lose in that void you call your idiotic mind, that we have BODYGUARDS for those sort of problems?" The man on his throne sneered down on his subject.

One of the swordsmen, the half-naked kimono dressed one, during this exchange absentmindedly looked out the immense window beside him. As great as his boss was, this sort of berating never entertained him, unlike his overdressed partner. He rather preferred cutting things. A bored gaze out to the dock quickly turned a shocked one as all his attention and body turned to gaze at a spectacle below him.

"What the-"

"What is it now?" Gatoh turned his snorting attention to his surprised bodyguard.

"Gatoh-sama, you have to see this!"

The tycoon lord raised his eyebrow, but decided it was worth it to see what the whole thing was about.

Suffice to say, he was surprised and greatly entertained by what he saw.

Below him, he saw a widening circle. Each widening of the circumference was marked by the numbers of his utterly destroyed ranks of bodyguards that lay on the ground. Inside the circle, three figures were moving about vigorously, beating the shit out of any body that dared enter. Even when two of them had swords on his back or poking through his mantle, they still all were handling their armed enemies without even looking like they needed a sword. Gatoh chuckled as he watched the pointless antics of these attention seekers.

_They could have just asked…_

"Captain…"

"Y-yes?"

"So, these are the ones who want to board my ship?"

"Gatoh-sama, I cannot see from my position, but it is most likely, given your amazing perception, that you are most likely correct." The poor captain groveled.

The CEO grinned. "I want those three," He turned to his two swordsmen, "One of you test them."

-

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-

"What? You guys still think you can beat us? Then come and get us! Or just let us on your stupid boat already!" Tetsuya taunted as he rounded the circle of thugs that cautiously neither approached the three nor let them enter their watercraft.

Naruto released a drawn breath of boredom, his enthusiasm for hitchhiking long gone, while he sat on the unconscious body of a particular bodyguard and watched the spectacle. Haku stood nearby, observant, but more wary of the perimeter of enemies around all of them.

"Sensei… can't we just go on another boat?" Naruto called out from his position.

"Naruto's right, Tetsuya-sensei. I don't think we're going to accomplish anymore or gain passage by this method."

"What! Shut up! We're in this too deep to just back out! You two are such a bunch of pansies!" The pansies' mentor shouted back

"Everybody, step aside." A smooth voice commanded. Immediately, the low price thugs cleared a path in the direction between the circle controlled by the samurai and the ship they wanted to board. Leaving the craft with an obvious intent to approach the hitchhikers was Gatoh's personal swordsman, the overdressed one.

"Which one of you started this?" The Yojimbo asked.

Naruto and Haku immediately pointed. "His fault."

"What! You bastards! Don't you dare shift blame like this!"

"You got interesting skills." The fourth swordsman continued, "What are you? Ronin? Bandit? Duelist?"

"A wandering poor-ass bitch with two delinquent students who all call themselves samurai and want to ride on that boat."

"Oi! We're not delinquents!"

Before another argument erupted at the worst time to start one, the floppy sleeved guy caught their attention here; "I can let you on the boat, if you want."

Noises escaped all over the crowd in front of the swordsman. The other bodyguards protested at the idea, while the hitch hikers made their noises of surprise at the offer.

"But on one condition."

"What?" The lone female in the crowd asked.

"Dodge three attacks from me."

Tetsuya groaned. It was fucking volume 127 all over again. "Oh, for the love of- FINE!"

Gatoh's swordsman brought a hand to his scabbard, where his thumb pushed against the hilt of his sword and freed the blade's thickest section from the cover. "I believe you're the strongest one of the three. I'll test you."

Tetsuya turned back and blanched from the lack of support from his students, who continued to merely shrug. Apparently, this was still his idea.

"_Dodge three attacks from me!_ I swear to god, this is fucking hazing or something…" The samurai grumbled as he marched towards his waiting attacks. Seeing the possible trouble this particular fellow might have, Tetsuya's arm moved through the empty sleeve before pulling his sword out of his sheath. Holding his weapon with both his hands, his stiff pose suddenly charged forwards towards the bodyguard of bodyguards who was awaiting the approach of the slightly hunched samurai.

It was here a flash of light arced at the samurai's legs, but the tested was already ahead of it. Years of experience had his skin already sense the feeling of air being separated by a gleaming blade of light, while his right eye already noticed and was swarming his brain with mentions of hundreds of subtle muscle movements all over the enemy's body that painted the slow motion image of him aiming downwards and swinging his armed hand at the samurai's legs-

Tetsuya jumped up in front of the other swordsman suddenly, pulling his legs high enough to completely avoid an attack that drove a deep gash into the cement beneath him. Falling down, the poor-ass bitch that called himself a samurai spearheaded a retaliation of his own, sword first. Gatoh's swordsman knocked the attack out of the way with his sheathed blade, throwing the samurai away from him. Tetsuya landed on his feet beside and facing away from his tester, and turned around in time to have his blade clash against a powerful, invisible strike that knocked him backwards several feet.

"Eh? What the hell is going on?" Naruto exclaimed. He couldn't even see what was happening. One moment his teacher was getting up while his opponent was facing him, the next Tetsuya was being tossed around like a rag doll by unseen forces.

"That attack couldn't be achieved by pure physical strength… what sort of ninjutsu would do that?" Haku observed darkly.

"That wasn't ninjutsu, Haku." Tetsuya called back, as he stood back up and kept his blade and eyes on the other swordsman, "I've seen this kind of attack before…"

"What is it?"

"Iaijutsu. That skill teaches attacking straight from the drawing of the blade and re-sheathing right after. Ken-Jin used it in volume 80, chapter 62 of Super Shiny Spinny Attack. But…"

…_Sensei will never change_ "But?" Naruto reiterated questioningly.

"I've never seen somebody ever use Iai with this sort of speed and strength before. This is like, Super Ultra Mode Iaijutsu or something…"

"That's why Gatoh-sama choose us to be his elite bodyguards," The overdressed swordsman announced with a bit of a sneer, "I'll still admit, you managed to dodge two of my attacks already. That's an impressive feat in itself around here. If you're the one who taught those two kids, who taught you?"

"The god of wanderers taught me Champuru Kendo." Was the answer in slang.

The Iaijustu user snorted at the words, "You're too good to have learned from just petty street fights and experience. Somebody must have honed your skills."

"And that's not for you to know." The student of so-called champuru kendo responded with a wagging finger.

"Hpmh, fine. But remember, you still have to dodge one more attack from me" The Bodygaurd grumbled in annoyance before hunching down and gripping the handle of his contained weapon once more, "I'll end this before you even blink."

"Oh, good. I was afraid this was going to go past our dinner." Tetsuya chortled as he spread his legs evenly across the ground, his sword in one hand held parallel to the ground. In a burst of motion, the two moved towards each other. Tetsuya acted first, suddenly flipping head over heels through the air to land beside the Iaijutsu fighter, who barely managed slide away from the katana that cut through the air where the middle of his head was supposed to be. While the floppy clothed bodyguard managed to swing his shoulders and body away from each attack, the one-eyed samurai continued to chase forward, deft wrist motions and trails of reflected light chasing after Tetsuya's sword.

The tension of the climax finally broke onto the crowd milling about, of whether these vagabonds would access the ship or not. One cheer, then another, then soon enough everybody was shouting, cheering, mocking.

"Get him! Don't let that fucker on our ship!"

"What you waitin' for? Cut him back!"

"Go get him, sensei!"

"Go for it!"

_Damnit! This guy isn't giving me any chance at all!_ The Bodyguard swore inwardly. Judging by the outlook, the samurai was obviously trying to stay close to his opponent so that he wouldn't have the time or space to draw his sword correctly.

However, the Iai skill trained one to find the perfect moment's weakness, even in the best of strategies against that style, and this bodyguard's eyes were keen.

Tetsuya was bearing down on his enemy with a fierce yell again, this time his holding his sword back in his sleeved arm for a downward chop. That one moment left his front open for just an instant. In that instant the Iaijutsu swordsman dashed forward in a blur.

There was a momentary clash as the two passed by each other. Everybody stopped cheering at that moment they saw that final connect, and they all paused to see who was the victor.

The Bodyguard smirked to himself as a quick motion slid his sword back into his scabbard. The moment the guard hit the wood cover; his initial expectation of the sound of blood flying was cut short by the sound of the explosion of ninja smoke. The Bodyguard turned around with a wide face of horrified shock when the body of the samurai was comprised of cut wood instead of cut flesh. Lying under the wooden article was a body on its back, legs and arms in the air in the exaggerate manner of a dead animal. Tetsuya's arm managed to push its arm under the wood to push it out of the way, revealing an angry face.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

The bodyguard pointed back with an accusing finger. "What the hell was that? How the heck do you know kawarimi?"

"I learned how to do that!"

"Samurai aren't supposed to use ninja techniques!"

"Fuck you! I dodged your three attacks anyways, so I win!"

"No you didn't! You let that last attack hit you on purpose! You didn't dodge that one!"

"Hey! Don't you dare try to reinterpret what you said before! You just wanted me to avoid the attack, not purely dodge them!"

Naruto pointed his finger at the Iai user, "Sensei's right! You're being a stupid cheater!"

"You shouldn't change your words like that." Haku also advised.

The Bodyguard growled at the two while his hand moved to his sword again, "You brats, I oughta-"

"That's enough." A somebody said while he exited the ship from the same ramp everybody was previously vying entrance to.

"G-Gatoh-sama!" The Bodyguard exclaimed and bowed down on one knee. Generally everybody else did too. Except three of them.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto shouted indignantly of all times with a pointed finger and the shortish man with a cane.

Tetsuya, still on the ground, raised an eyebrow. "The guy said he was Gatoh."

"I know that! But who IS Gatoh?"

"Him! I just told you!"

"Aggh! I didn't mean my question like that, I mean who is Gatoh supposed to be?"

"Idiot! You're just asking the same question over and over! Gatoh is that guy over there!"

"You're the idiot, sensei! You keep saying the same answer over and over!"

Haku blankly stared at the argument breaking out again, wondering if her sighing would be worth it. She just shrugged at looked at Gatoh straight in the eyes (That were behind the sunglasses).

"What do you want with us, Gatoh?"

The man grinned, "I knew you were all great fighters, but for somebody as skilled as you are to use ninja techniques… you guys are perfect for this job."

Naruto blinked, "What job?"

Gatoh turned slightly back toward the entrance of the ramp, as if returning. "Do you all like to come inside? Perhaps we can discuss this over… dinner."

-

-

-

The three of them were led to Gatoh's personal entertainment quarters on the top of the ship, where the richest and friendliest with Gatoh would sit for the night and enjoy the good food, music and company. Currently, it was just the 'three' of the samurai inside the room, listening to the music and watching the dances and shows of the entertainers.

"I don't know about you Haku, but seeing sensei like this is kinda weird." Naruto murmured as he was hunched over his plate of food, silently observing the spectacle.

"I agree, Naruto. Seeing this side of Tetsuya-sensei is… disturbing." Haku deadpanned as she gently held her own bowl of rice.

Before them, Tetsuya had two gorgeous (if not rather idiotic) women hanging off his shoulders, while their loose kimonos hung off their own shoulders, while all of them had cups and bottles of rice wine Sake being drunken and poured freely and laughs of drunken good cheer were secured easily.

"…and even with that stupid ninja's giant water dragon thingy flying at me, all I had to do was swing my sword, and the whole thing fell apart. You should all have seen that look on his face when I did that!" The one-eyed depraved warrior announced heartily.

"Oooh, maybe you can tell us, Tetsuya-sama?" One of the women purred.

"Oh geez, the look on that guys face. I wasn't surprised if the guy was peeing in his pants! His eyes were so wide and scared, it was hilarious!"

"Oh, you're so strong, Tetsuya-sama…"

"That's right. That's because I am friggin' TETSUYA-SAMA! Drinks all around!"

Giggles, sake pouring, students blanching.

"Oh-ho, what's this?" The rich king's familiar voice cut in, while the shortish man, dressed in the same business suit as always, entered the room as well. Flanking his sides were his two favorite personal bodyguards as always.

"Hey, Gatoh! What did you do to my sensei? The women and the drinks are making him weird."

"Shut up, Naruto. I'm not overcome by alcohol and women yet."

"That's debatable…" Haku quietly mused.

"Oi!"

Gatoh chuckled as he moved to a raised plush throne on one side of the room that was reserved to him, "You like the women, samurai? You can borrow them for the night if you want."

"Perhaps if the circumstances of my being here wasn't for a job."

"I see. You like to be sober before a fight, huh? In that case, all the entertainment is dismissed from this room." With that, all the musicians and beautiful women dismissed themselves with a bow and left the chamber. The older samurai's sudden lack of warmth made him quickly wonder if his dismissal of those women was such a good idea.

Gatoh nodded to his bodyguards, "Make sure this room is secure." After that, only four people remained in the room.

"Okay, so what **do** you want from us?" Tetsuya asked.

"You three should know, that my success comes primarily from maintaining a monopoly on all sea trade and movement around this area."

"I assume that those men we fought with outside will be used by your to maintain that monopoly by force?" Haku stated like it was proven fact.

"Of course. Just like people buy ninjas, and the lords buy samurai, how else do I get my own power?"

"So what? We just fought well, so you wanted to hire us as some more boxers for you?" Naruto grumbled.

"No, no I need you for a specific task I have in mind."

"Yeah, I think you were about to tell us what that job was." Tetsuya said.

"You three have heard of Wave country, correct?"

How coincidental.

"…Yeah?" Tetsuya answered again.

"The country's main income comes mainly through sea based trade. Since I recently assumed control of that since a year or so ago, that essentially means I now control Wave country."

"So the problem is…?"

"A few months back, a rather… idealistic individual named Tazuna came up with an idea of bypassing my control by constructing a bridge that directly links to the mainland. If that happens, trade can bypass the traffic I control."

"I assume that this Tazuna is an upright moral citizen that refuses to have his bridge bought by legal means by you. So you want us to…"

"Kill him, if it means that will stop the bridge from being finished."

"Won't other people finish it for him?"

"No. The whole country fears me except him."

"You know… this kind of assassination is usually a ninja's job…" Tetsuya wondered. His students were less that pleased by that conclusion.

"Sensei! Are you saying ninja are better than us?"

"When have I never said that? I'm more surprised as to why you two still follow a weakling like me." Tetsuya returned harshly.

Gatoh interrupted the lovely family squabble here, "It's true, I have sent talented ninja after them, however it appears that the old man hired ninja of his own to defend himself."

"So why not hire more ninja?"

"To tell you the truth… I don't trust those ninja. I rather prefer people who have their feet set with their loyalties. People like you three. I was surprised to find samurai as talented as you left, even more so that you use ninja techniques to accompany your skills. So far, you three are the most powerful I've seen yet, next to my bodyguards. I need people like you to help me keep my ninja problems in check."

_I also have a feeling it's because we're cheaper to hire._

"I promise, the rewards will be handsome if you help me… clean this mess up."

Tetsuya gave Gatoh a half lidded kind of unamused look. "I'll… have to consult…"

-

-

-

Under the night sky, three samurai stood on the exposed deck of the ship watching the dark waters give way to the red boat that cleaved through its surfaces towards the general area of Wave country.

"So, Naruto. It's not a ninja asking us this time. You not going to be a stupid angst-bastard this time?"

"Sh-shut up! I don't have any problems!"

"Tetsuya-sensei. I don't trust this sort of person. He seems to enjoy tricking and using people."

"True, true that. But at the very least, we should remove the ninja presence from Wave country. We were planning to go there originally to escape from ninja, and now we find some old fogey is bringing them there."

"That doesn't address the situation of how we will escape if Gatoh does decide to kill us."

"I don't think he will. We're still not considered in the same league as ninja. He might try to buy us. That at least gives us a chance to escape if worst comes to worst. However, I do think he was telling the truth when he said we were the strongest he met in a while. The only real challenge from those guys was that Iaijutsu swordsman. We could get away pretty easily if we wanted."

"So the only question we need to ask is if we really want to take the job or not for the money, since we probably might be killing those ninja anyways, and since we can get away pretty easy if Gatoh doesn't like us after." Naruto concluded.

"I personally, am willing for any chance for a bit of fight and some cash. What about you two?"

-

-

-

"We decided that since everybody is going to Wave country anyways, we might as well entertain ourselves with the idea of killing some ninja." Tetsuya said as the three samurai re-entered the entertainment room.

"Excellent!"

"Yeah, yeah, we just want some beds now, okay?" Naruto yawned as the night caught up to him, leaving him to stretch his arms behind his head.

-

-

-

The next morning came quickly enough. About as fast as two samurai barging into Gatoh's throne room again, which had the man seated upon his chair, like he was expecting this.

"Where the hell are we?" Tetsuya demanded.

"Why did we land on the mainland again?" Naruto whined.

Behind the two glowering individuals, Haku trailed behind them, since they had all day to run around demanding answers from the world.

"It's less conspicuous for you three to enter Wave country without this ship. I also just wanted to check in on a ninja I assigned to kill Tazuna. Since you're both on the same job, that makes you… partners, right? That means it would be best for you two to know each other as soon as possible. Like to come along for a visit?"

"Ew…" Tetsuya made a face at the thought.

Still, the three samurai found themselves following Gatoh and his two bodyguards off the docked boat and into a misty tall-treed forest. Deep within its cavity, a giant structure suddenly broke into view. It looked like a giant child's spinning top that was driven into the ground, and had chains winding around the structure itself attaching to various tree around it to provide extra support.

"A ninja lives there? How the heck did that… house even get there?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at the idea of a ninja managing to drop such a home in such a location.

"Robots I tell you. He prolly summed a giant robot to burst out of the ground and carrying that thing over. It's all that ninjas know how to do."

"I wouldn't say that to this particular fellow. He may have been beaten, but he at least had some legend before he decided to do something like lose." Gatoh called back.

"Who's the legend anyways?" Tetsuya asked.

"Mist country's own Silent Killer. The Demon of the Mist, Momochi Zabuza."

"Demon… that sounds…hmmm…"

"Coming?"

The group crowded as best they could into an elevator that came down to the base of the giant house-top thing. A ride up deposited them into a corridor that Gatoh last reported to have met Zabuza in. A walk down the pathway found everybody settled in front of a fair sized pair of double doors.

"This is him you three. But don't be scared. He's not that strong, I found out" Gatoh snickered as he pushed the doors open.

Inside a familiar man from a childhood story looked up from his current task of binding his injured form. "What do you want?"

Here, Naruto made a wide shocked face and pointed his finger at the man. "You?"

Haku likewise, "What are you doing here?"

Tetsuya? He just laughed. It seemed that every time he was going to see this man, he would be found with his ass handed to him

-

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-

Next Chapter: The fated reunion ends, and the three acquaint themselves with the situation. From there the three head out into the country of the waves to see what life is like, there and what they're exactly up against.

A/N: (I obviously have some confusion between the difference of Iaido and Iaijutsu. Some expert advice could be used here)

Sorry I'm late everybody, you see, my road of life was obstructed by this giant boulder, and seeing that I had no alternative, I had to climb it. Half way up I tripped and fell on a few volumes of manga here and there that were left lying around, so I had to go and pick those up as well, and so before I knew it, the giant boulder grew to be a size of a mountain, so I spent a whole month trying to find a secret passage in its side, but to no avail, I had to go all the hard way through.

Also, writing this chapter's second half was pretty tough. I wrote one half, then a giant snowstorm hit Hong Kong and cut the power in the city, so by the time I had my computer on, all my flair was gone, so I struggled a bit to wonder if I got my characterization right, and to exactly figure out what happens next. I know what happens chapter by chapter, not scene by scene.


	6. Evil: We're Fighting Over a Dump?

Okay, finally I remember that one thing I should have said a while back, along with some minor thoughts for the future. I have an ambition for this story. The thing is that the Naruto section moves REALLY fast, and I really want to get my story out there. The best way to do that is to get this story up to 100,000 words, where then it can be quickly found through the quick sort, plus that's where I feel most of the better stories are at. The other way is to get this into a popular C2.

Plus I want a review count over 100 like everybody else. I'm like that.

I'm feeling it would be good if I put Ninjarai in a series of three stories. Maybe four. Depends.

Outside of that, I was wondering if I should start a Chrno Crusade story. I feel that there are too many sappy mushy stories in that section. I may not hate sweets, but I don't need to become a diabetic from reading those stories. But I haven't finished my Guilty Gear story either hmmm…

Oh well, let's get one thing done at a time, right?

-

-

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**Evil: We're fighting over a dump?**

-

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-

Tetsuya so far managed to manage himself to a chuckle every five seconds as he looked upon Momochi Zabuza, apparently, the rest of the help the three samurai would get for the job. It was funny to think that the "Demon of the Mist", the "Silent Killer", the all around over hyped missing-nin was that jounin he kicked the crap out of about seven years back. Seven years later, he apparently didn't improve.

So, Tetsuya was laughing.

"Sensei! What are you laughing about? That guy is that guy that tried to kill us the first time we met Haku!" Naruto accused as he faced his teacher and pointed his finger back at the ninja. One could assume he had an unhappy face at finger, but half his face was covered anyways, so nobody cared what his facial expression was.

"Aw, please! Like he can even dream of touching any of us now." Tetsuya dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"So you know each other, what a pleasant surprise." Gatoh noted. Whether his knowing that was a good thing or not was debatable.

"Gatoh, what are these people doing here?" The injured Zabuza growled out as his employer.

"I employed these samurai to help you kill Tazuna."

"I don't need help."

"You shouldn't be saying that in the condition you're in."

"I just underestimated one of the enemies. I know better."

"If you really know better, it'd be best to tell them what you know. I'll be expecting better results by the end of the week." Gatoh turned to walk out the door, which was the apparent queue for Tetsuya, Naruto, and Haku to make their leave as well, but Gatoh turned with a negative.

"You're not coming with me." Was the rude explanation.

"How rude." Haku snorted blatantly as the doors shut in front of them, leaving them with the extra ninja.

"So… we have to work with you… so how's it been the past seven years?" Tetsuya lamely attempted.

"None of your business."

"Oi! Don't talk to sensei like that!" Naruto shouted back.

"Zabuza, you should appreciate that Tetsuya-sensei is attempting to approach you. If you are still angry about the event from seven years ago, then it is best to drop it for this occasion. We need your cooperation."

"Tch, 'Tetsuya-sensei'… so he actually trained you?"

"He did." Haku icily clipped.

"Hpmh… still a waste of talent…" The former Mist-nin grumbled.

A tip of ice frosted right up next to Zabuza's temple right then, the handle of the ice blade in the outstretched hand of Haku's. Zabuza's unimpressed façade was met with the female samruai's glare.

"Take that back."

"Like you can make me, even if I'm like this." Zabuza chuckled.

Normally, there would be a tense silence, but Naruto was the type to tackle a problem immediately when he saw one.

"Ah! Haku, what are you doing? Stop being scary like that!"

"B-but, he insulted Tetsuya-sensei!"

"Aw shut up all of you!" The supposedly insulted cut in, waving his hands to brush off the whole issues, "If I'm insulted, I'll kill him later! Now, we need to get to important things. Zabuza! Who are the enemies?"

-

-

-

"_It was a non-standard team of two genin and one jounin."_

"_Really? It should have been easy for you."_

"_Two genin were some wet-eared rookies fresh out of the academy. The main threat is the Jounin. It was mainly his techniques that defeated me."_

"_So how did you get away?"_

"_I managed to escape. The jounin had apparently exhausted himself too much in the battle to pursue."_

"_How long will it take you to recover?"_

"_Fast enough."_

"…_Fine, one more thing. Who's our jounin?"_

"Oi Sensei" Naruto asked from the back of the boat, "Why did you get all excited over the name Hatake Kakashi?"

"I presume it would be somebody Tetsuya-sensei wishes to test his skills against." Haku calmly inferred.

Tetsuya, cross-legged at the front of the small Gatoh-skipper, snickered while watching the large island come into view. "Yeah, yeah. Hatake Kakshi is a pretty famous name. It's annoying that we keep running into Leaf ninja, though."

"So… what is that makes Kakashi so strong?" Naruto piped up again.

"He's known in the circles as 'Sharingan Kakashi', or 'Copycat Kakashi'. He apparently has a special eye that allows him to steal techniques from enemies, even in the middle of combat. He's mainly a ninjutsu user though."

"The ability to memorize techniques in a second… that must require large amounts of chakra. If he uses ninjutsu as well, it should be no wonder why he exhausted himself so fast." Haku concluded.

"If he's tired out now, we should go kill that old man while his best guy is tired!" Naruto exclaimed.

"That does sound reasonable." Haku advised.

The eldest Samurai, and now the best versed at the moment, snorted, "Wait 'till the best time? What sorta bullshit is that? It should be the duty of the samurai to wait until the enemy is rested so we can have an honorable duel to the death. Killing people while they're weak is a ninja thing to do."

"Euh? Sensei, you never said that before…" Naruto mumbled, "Are you saying that because you want to be a samurai or just because you really want to fight Kakashi?"

"…Isn't that the same thing?" Tetsuya said with a raised eyebrow.

Haku sighed with her eyes closed, "Either way, we should explore the island to find a suitable battle ground if that is Tetsuya-sensei's wishes."

"But if that Copycat guy is really that strong, he might actually kill sensei!" Naruto argued.

"Aw, dun worry 'bout it. If Kakashi really does tire himself out that fast, it's merely a matter of biding my time until he's at the disadvantage."

Naruto pouted and let his head sink into his neck. There were times when upholding samurai tradition equaled to blatant stupidity. The Kyuubi swordsman perked up when the sea borne fog cleared a way a bit to reveal a small harbor up ahead. "Hey sensei, look!"

"Hmm… that must be Wave Country. Hope it's a pretty place. I don't really want to fight over a dump…"

-

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-

There was a collective twitch of frustration that flashed across the eyes of the three when they climbed off the boat and saw Wave Country in all its glory before them.

Or lack of glory.

"…There's no place to stay…" Haku described the situation of their necessities.

"…There's no place to eat…" Naruto described the situation of their leisure.

"…There's no- oh wait, I think there is a bookstore over."

At least somebody was pleased. Naruto and Haku turned their heads to death glare Tetsuya, who involuntarily shivered and wondered if one day his students would kill him one day like those old samurai stories. Or like Super Shinny Spinny Attack, the White Prologue Ultra Adventure special.

Still, Wave country was a dump. A dusty bowel of crap. Raggedy brats explored the desolated streets, and jobless men lined the streets. The lack of prosperity here in general even showed on the buildings, which obviously showed it had been a long time since any serviceable maintenance had reached them. The place really begged the question of whether the place was like this before Gatoh was here, and even how long the place was like this. Was this place always like this?

Tetsuya wasn't bothered to think of such things, anyways. That was Gatoh and Tazuna's job. He was just here to see who would win.

"Uh… anyways, I think that I'll give you the day to look over the town. I'll leave it up to you to report to me anything useful to be used against the ninja."

_Well, at least it was nice of him to make us feel important._ Naruto noted. Whether that was a good thing or not was up to him. "Fine. Let's go Haku. I bet sensei probably couldn't find a useful thing about the place even if he tried. That's why he leaves it up to intelligent people like us."

Haku giggled an agreement and the two of them ran off, leaving a fuming teacher.

"Bastards! You dare insult me! You'll be sorry when I see you again!"

"See you back here tonight, Tetsuya-sensei!"

The one-eye samurai shrunk into the distance.

-

-

-

Haku and Naruto split up shortly after, deciding to go and cover more ground by themselves. They could take care of themselves easily, and it was a simple look around. It wasn't like they were purposely hunting down the poor genin to make mincemeat out of.

Eitherway, the boy samurai was making his way around the streets, easily scaring off and at the same time attracting the attention of everybody around him with his bright dyed haori and the long sword that was tied against his back.

Perhaps it was fate, or coincedence. It was probably because the damn place country was so small, but either way, that certain samurai walked onto the same street in which contained a 'grocery store' as the day began to run late and red. That grocery store would have therein a kunoichi and an old man, both of which should be of relative importance to the swordsman.

To Naruto, there were very few people he knew that sported pink hair that actually looked as natural as such (one, actually), and even less that wore that reddish-whatever colored dress thing (one, actually again). Since the girl was familiar to her, Naruto did what he always did to familiar people.

"Aaah! Sakura-chan!"

The name elicited a reaction from the pink haired girl who was leaving with the old man with a pretty light looking bag of groceries. She turned around with a confused look at a seemingly unfamiliar voice calling out her name. Soon enough she was face to face with an approaching well dressed blonde kid that was practically babbling incoherently.

"…man, I was surprised to see someone like you here! To think of all the places we could meet, eh, Sakura? Uh? Sakura-chan? What is it?"

"…Who are you?"

The blondie chuckled and pointed to his face "What, you don't remember me? You took me for a tour around Konoha once!"

"…"

"You told me about some Sasuke-kun, and I said he was overrated!"

Those two comments (or maybe it was just the last one), along with the blond head, the orange and black clothing, and the abominably stupid face (you have to admit, it was rather…), began turning some cogs of memory to a certain event she never thought she would give much priority to.

"Naruto?" The kunoichi exclaimed.

"Yeah! You remember me!"

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"It's a long story. Hey, you got your ninja headband thingy." Naruto pointed to the plated cloth that clung to the top of Sakura's head like a ribbon.

"Yeah, that makes me a ninja now, so you better be afraid of me this time!" Sakura announced with a thumb pointed back at her.

Naruto tried to act impressed but really, when you knew who was the genin for a few months, and who was a samurai for seven years, it was hard to do so.

"Okay, okay, I guess you are really a ninja then."

The old man that was accompanying the kunoichi rumbled a hum of surprise, "So, Sakura, you know this kid?"

Naruto turned his attention to the old man. A bit of a belly, smelt lightly of alcohol, and his muscles obviously showed he had experience in hard labour. But if one of the genin was next to him, wouldn't that make him-

"Oh, that's right. I should introduce you to each other. Naruto, this is my… friend of mine, Tazuna."

_Bingo._

"Tazuna, this is Naruto… some guy I met once."

"Aww, so that's all I am to Sakura-chan? How disappointing." Naruto mock-pouted.

"Well, it's the truth!"

"Aw, but ninjas tell lies all the time, no?" Naruto let a cheeky grin there, "Maybe you're just in denial that you like-"

Thwack.

"Idiot! We haven't even known each other for longer than a day! Don't give me that love crap!"

"Ugh… Sakura-chan doesn't have to hit me to get the message through… skull's not that thick…" The injured male managed to speak out from his decimated position on the ground.

"Er… either way, we should be heading back before it gets too late, since we have to make dinner with this stuff." The old man to be killed reminded.

The word dinner struck a chord with the blonde samurai, "What! Food? Where you having dinner at?"

"You're not invited, Naruto!" Was the kunoichi's final answer before he even started.

"B-but, Sakura-chan! I haven't eaten anything all daaaaaaayyy. C'mon, Sakura-chan…Sakura-cheeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaannn…" Naruto exemplified his groveling by crawling over to the ninja's legs and rubbing his face against them while pleading.

"Good god! Get off me!" Most likely Sakura's internal thoughts were an array of insults and swear words daring the blonde to try such freaky tactics again.

"Aw, Sakura, you shouldn't be so harsh. He doesn't mean any harm anyways. The more the merrier, I'd say." Tazuna offered.

"See! That Tazuna guy likes me! C'mon!" Naruto begged mockingly with on his knees with palms clasped together.

"…FINE! But don't do any stupid stuff like that in front of me or Sasuke-kun!"

_Bingo._

-

-

-

The house was actually a fairly well looking one, compared to the conditions of the tenements in the more populated sections of Wave country. The target's house was located further into the more rural countryside area, where the homes were pretty much flanked on all sides by the woods. Tazuna's home was a two-story house (a bit shabby, but one shouldn't complain) that sat on a far side of a body of water that interrupted the dirt path to home. Luckily the trouble was fairly managed by a wood bridge that traversed the water straight to the front steps of the home.

"No way! That's a huge house!" Naruto said, stupefied by the all around pristine environment.

"Indeed. Plus it got a super view of the ocean from the second floor."

"Really? Tazuna, you got a really cool house!"

"Well, if you could stop talking about it and get a move on already…" Sakura muttered from behind.

Urged on, but not necessarily because of her words as law, the group returning from the city passed the waters into the house. Inside was modest and homey as well, though Naruto was wondering what the heck was a woman doing in Tazuna's kitchen. A women that easily looked far too young to be a wife.

It was found out fast enough from the old alcohol smelling man that she was in fact her daughter. Families tend to congregate together a lot in Wave country, don't they? Must be a cultural thing.

"Tsunami? Has Sasuke-kun returned yet?" Sakura called out to the daughter in the kitchen, attending to the situation of her partner/loveinterest/crush/boyfriendinherimagination/etc.

"Not yet, Sakura. I believe he is still training on that exercise outside."

"Really? But there's really no reason to keep doing that so long…" The kunoichi pondered to herself. Admittedly, the way her finger tapped against her cheek while she wondered was really quite… cute.

"Woah, woah, woah. What's this about that Sasuke guy training outside? You mean to tell me-"

It was unfortunately true, as told by Sakura's face transforming into one of those oh-so-cute positions again "Uh-huh! Sasuke-kun and I were partnered up!"

Naruto already knew that the enemy was a non-standard team, but he didn't suppose it would hurt to know more, "Partnered up? I overheard once that ninja teams came in three and above."

"Well, not us! Apparently the graduating class was smaller than usual, so they had to let our team go with just two. Ahhh… Just Sasuke-kun and me… (her inner thoughts here consisted mainly of dirty scenarios and laughing at Ino)… oh, yeah and Kakashi-sensei… that pervert…"

_That Kakashi is training them?_ "Kakashi? Whose he? I thought you just said your team-"

"Well, the two of us as rookie ninja, so they also put our group in with a jounin instructor. I have to admit, Kakashi-sensei is kinda… lame… but he's pretty strong too."

"So… where is he?"

"He's resting upstairs. He's really tired from… well…"

Naruto already knew from what, so his thoughts were mainly directed to hoping that that Kakashi fellow didn't know how to hear through walls and floor and other crazy ninja shit they could do. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing. I'll just tell you later. You wanna see Sasuke-kun? He's really great!" Sakura easily changed topics, believing herself to be a master at hiding the truth by changing topics really well.

Naruto let it go, slightly disappointed. He was hoping to hear a first hand account about how Zabuza got his ass-kicked, maybe even a little bit about the Sharingan thing Kakashi had. "Okay."

-

-

-

Naruto came to wonder two things as he passed out the back of the house towards a small clearing in the forest.

First was how good of a liar he would be after this whole job was over.

Second was whether all ninja were really as… bad as Sakura-chan was. She was pretty, sure. But she really seemed to have no idea the amount of professionalism her career needed. She was off blabbing about every single thing, half the information lemon-top swordslinger could piece together to be used as an advantage against the ninja in combat.

Seriously. She didn't even suspect a person who arrived in Konoha the day before a major theft of ninja property, and suddenly reappeared in a dilapidated country being owned by the very same enemy they were hired to combat against.

Did she even notice the sword? Well, better not broach the subject either way. He wasn't stupid. If she didn't seem to notice it, don't bring attention to it.

"Hey… what's this training anyways?"

"Kakashi-sensei said we weren't using our chakra efficiently, so he made us do a tree climbing exercise."

_Oh, that. They really are green_. "What's tree climbing gotta do with using chakra efficiently? And how come this Sasuke partner of yours is training on it, but you aren't?"

"Well, you have to stick to the sides of the tree using chakra, and walk up. It was really easy for me. I got to one of the highest branches on my first try- oh, here we are!"

The two of them reached a particular group of trees, many of them cut horizontally across their bodies apparently with some sort of bladed items at varying points up and down each. It wasn't hard to pick Sasuke apart, given their relative distance. He was in white short and blue shirt with a huge ass ninja collar thing that ninjas liked to wear to look cool by covering the lower halves of their faces. His hair was black, and the styling was a bit weird. Honestly, it looked a little bit like the tail end of a children's drawing of a chicken. The ninja boy's forearms were covered in some sort of tube of cloth bound off on both ends by a small belt, while his shins were taped up with ninja bandaging.

What was it with ninjas and bandages? Didn't see how much medical material they were wasting?

"Oi! Sasuke-kun! We got a guest for dinner! I was hoping you two could meet!" Sakura called up to Sasuke-kun, who was maybe twenty feet or so up? Naruto wasn't very good at remembering how long was how long.

Sasuke was distracted for a moment, but managed to keep up his pace for a couple more feet before his grip slipped. There, he slashed at the bark with a kunai in his hand, marking his progress before falling to the earth, turning his body in time to soundlessly pad onto the ground on his feet. Naruto noted the large emblem on the ninja's back.

Sasuke regarded the situation for exactly one second before moving to his usual reactions.

"Sakura. I expected you to know better and be doing something like preparing for possible new attacks. Instead, you're inviting random civilians to dinner."

_Okay. He's rather rude. I don't see where the "-kun" bit is from._ Naruto inwardly blanched.

"B-but…well…"

"Whose the moron, anyways?" Sasuke asked with a lazy posture.

Since 'moron' is pretty much a masculine insult, Naruto immediately knew which of the three Sasuke was talking about.

"Oi! You better watch who you're calling a moron, you bastard!"

Sasuke's face remained blank. "You ought to watch your own tongue too, _civilian_."

"Hey! One day I'm going to be kick-ass samurai, so you better get ready to remember the name of Naruto!" Said legend in making jerked a thumb at the hand of this sword behind his right shoulder.

"Hey, you two-" Sakura grumbled in protest.

Since Sasuke didn't have his eyes follow to the sword handle, it means he already regarded the sword in Naruto's possession without him knowing. Naruto immediately detracted his statement of all ninja being as bad as Sakura while the number one rookie of the year snorted. "Samurai? It really must take an idiot civilian to have those sort of dreams."

Sakura managed to cut in again before a smart mouth from either side got to starting a fistfight, "What do you mean by that Sasuke-kun?" Despite his rudeness, his apparent knowledge on the issue quickly dissolved her earlier misgiving, and replaced it with a curiosity on the subject. Plus, he was Sasuke-kun, crushes and all.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know about the samurai, Sakura. They are rather…outdated."

"Hey, I know that! But that doesn't mean anything to me!" Naruto brashly recalled.

"That doesn't tell me anything, though!" Sakura said as she scrunched up her face in frustration. Answers were a slow thing around here.

"They were an ancient class of warrior before the emergence of the modern ninja clans. They were basically a group of swordsmen with an ego too large for their own good. They thought they could stand up to ninja because they believed they were more 'honorable' than them to not use jutsu. I assume you can figure out why there aren't any more samurai around now, Sakura."

"Oh…"

"Hey! Don't forget about me! I'm going to be a kick-ass samurai that's going to kick your ass one day, you bastard!"

"Your humor needs work, idiot."

"Why you-"

"Hey! You two shouldn't be fighting like this anyways!"

That managed to stop the current argument. So they could start another.

"Geez! You're such an ass! It must be a miracle for anybody to be able to work with you!"

"I don't need to work with anybody. Ninja can do well enough with their own power."

"That's it! It's that thing about ninjas! That's all they ever seem to care about! Power, power, power! At least the samurai had some morals!"

"Foolish notions like morals and honor don't serve in war. All that's needed is the strength required to accomplish the objective by any means. Of course a naïve wannabe like yourself would never understand what a ninja has to go through."

"See? See! You all damn ninjas think they're king of the world! You guys would do anything to be strong, huh?"

"I would."

"I bet you would, even if it meant selling your soul! See? You ninja got no sense of self-respect or self-control! At least if I become a samurai, I'd keep that!"

"Hey, we have self-respect and self-control! That's something a ninja is always proficiently trained in!" The female of the group countered.

"Oh yeah? Then why do you have missing-nins? Because none of you guys practice self-control, and you all run around killing innocent people to get stronger, like power alone will get you somewhere!"

"If there's something more important then power, then pray-tell, genius, enlighten us. What exactly does a ninja need outside of power to excel?"

"Well…er… I dunno! But I know that just being really, really strong isn't the answer!"

"I shouldn't have really expected much, from an idiot civilian with children's dreams of being a war-hero. Leave fighting to the professionals, moron."

"To the professionals! **To the professionals! I'LL SHOW YOU PROFSSIONAL!"**

The discussion ended in a good training in the matter of Taijutsu for both the boys.

-

-

-

Whole viewpoints can change in a course of a single dinner. Especially if a question was asked about a torn photo.

Naruto and Sasuke came back, nursing their wounds and a newly found relationship based off irritation. Whether or not it would fully delve into full-blown hatred or good-natured companionship was yet to be seen. It was unfortunate for Naruto that the Hatake Kakashi of Konoha, despite his exhausted condition, still arrived to "eat" something, thought apparently it was a fact that no living person alive in the house had yet seen him expose his mouth. Crazy ninjas.

Naruto did his best to avoid the topics and questions directed from the elder ninja, but he knew for sure he had him pinned down right away that he was Uzumaki Naruto, Kyuubi incarnate. The best he could do was hold off the inevitable confrontation to a better date and keep the jounin's students in the dark about his true nature.

After that, Sakura asked about the photo, and a whole story was poured out.

"Damnit…" Naruto walked down the streets of Wave Country's city again, after hastily excusing himself and thanking them for their hospitality. He needed to meet with Tetsuya and Haku, as the sun was lowering fast. Each curse under his breath had a pebble or some random loose article on the ground be kicked away.

He knew that he was working for a bad guy, but he tried his best to just keep a neutral stance on the whole matter.

But he was Naruto. Money didn't talk to him nearly as well as it did to Tetsuya. For the boy, that's where his general conscience came in.

Didn't the samurai uphold the peace? Wasn't a moral of one of Tetsuya's samurai stories about how serving a garbage master was worse than having no master at all? Naruto knew as well as his other two companions that the samurai code needed to be altered a bit in this age, where honor couldn't gain everything.

But what made them samurai then, and not just another of those yojimbo Gatoh had? Where did the samurai honor come from, if it wasn't from just being strong, and not protecting the innocent? How could he shout at that Tazuna's grand kid Inari, about doing something if he didn't like the situation, if the samurai himself was going to be opposing him?

The ninja seemed to be doing this for more than money or the glory of a mission. Where did that put Naruto and Haku and Sensei?

"You look rather distracted, Naruto." Haku's voice chimed from behind, stopping the boy so that he waited for his friend to catch up. The familiar voice of the Bloodlimited bladeswoman was both comforting to hear and disconcerting. What would she say about this?

"Ah, well… I'm just sorting through the things I've picked up for information in my head."

"Really? What did you find out today?"

"Well, I was actually hoping I could save it until I also talk to sensei as well."

Haku shrugged obliviously. "Suit yourself."

Tetsuya was found at the edge of the dusty harbor, as if he never left the place. "There you two are. You guys are lucky for two reasons. If you came any sooner, I would have still had the energy to kick your asses for what you said to me earlier. If you guys took any longer, I would have kicked your asses for being late! That's the first thing."

"Was the second thing, Tetsuya-sensei?"

"Meh, I found some interesting souvenirs around here." Tetsuya kicked a sizable paper bag beside him. "I pretty much bought out the bookstore. There were some Super Shiny Spinny Attack volumes there, so I bought all of them. Shop keepers seemed pretty pleased. I had to fight off a few muggers though. They thought I still had money."

"That you still _had _money?" Haku could feel something inside her growl.

"What, you think I'd actually keep back any money when I'm trying to revitalize Super Shiny Spinny Attack?"

"Do you mean to tell us we have absolutely no money to use at all, Tetsuya-sensei?"

"Hey! The money's in the books! Besides, after we get this job done, we'll be having money again, right?"

Naruto's choices became a whole lot more complicated. Damned Houkou incarnate.

"Hey, Naruto. Didn't you say you wanted to report something to Tetsuya-sensei directly?"

"Well… yeah…"

-

-

-

Tetsuya nodded through yet another Volume 50, while hearing Naruto give out everything that had so far transpired throughout his journey. The three of them sat on a small Gatoh-craft back to the mainland, specifically to Zabuza's hideout with Tetsuya again cross-legged in the front of the boat, Naruto and Haku in the back, sitting as they pleased.

Except for the story of the torn photograph, and his opinions on the matter.

"So… Kakashi still moves like he's tired, Sakura is a schoolgirl playing ninja games, and Sasuke thinks he can win against a jounin and a trained samurai by himself. This sounds easier than expected. Naruto, you still remember the way to the old man's house?" Tetsuya asked.

"Yes."

"Good. If all goes well, we should clean up this ninja problem by the end of this week." Tetsuya sighed contently as he fell backwards, arms behind his head. Naruto gave a sort of disquieted look at his mentor looking at the reddening sky.

"There's something bothering you, Naruto." Haku quietly confided.

"Haku… is it really alright for us to take this job?"

"Why not? We're getting paid to kill ninja that we need to get rid of anyways."

"But it'll mean Gatoh will take over the country."

"…They said something while you were in their house, didn't they?"

"…Yeah."

Haku sighed. "Naruto, we're not supposed to care about that. It's the duty of samurai to fight the wars, not dictate it or ask why."

"But I can't stand to think of it like that! Haku, Gatoh's going to destroy Wave Country at this rate. Do you really want that to happen?"

"Naruto, what about the ninjas? We're essentially criminals in their eyes. It's either us and Gatoh who will live, or the ninjas and the target. Nothing lasts forever, Naruto, but given the choice, which one do you want to last longer? Us, or people we don't even know?"

"…Look… Haku… just let me show you. I'll take you tomorrow to Tazuna's house. Maybe you'll understand more if they tell you the whole story."

"There's more?"

"Maybe it's more of the same, but I think you should hear it anyways. I did."

Haku knew she had to make her own choice here. Tetsuya-sensei always taught that their times were over, they needed to take some teachings and leave others behind. They were supposed to fight wars, never question why. She would either keep that opinion, or risk it by listening to a biased story, and debate which one of the two, Gatoh's or Tazuna's, sounded better.

But she had to respect Naruto's determination. Plus, Tetsuya said they had to take some lessons and leave others behind. She could always afford to bend some teachings a little. Perhaps she could say it was honorable for samurai to at least question their war, than blindly trust like the ninja. Tetsuya might buy that.

"Fine, I'll see what they'll say. If I remain unconvinced, will you leave the matter alone?"

"Deal."

-

-

-

Tetsuya remained oblivious. Fate probably conspired.

"Yo, Zabuza. Feeling better?" The one-eyed samurai saluted with two fingers as they reached the threshold of the giant top/ninja home. Behind him were his protégés, and on the doorstep in a slightly expectant manner, was the missing demon. His apparent recovery rate (or perhaps it was just the tolerance to pain) to being pierced by kunai and colliding with a solid wall of almost cement like water was something to be commended.

"Shut up. We have something to discuss."

"Oh?"

Seeing this as a discussion for adults, after the group moved up the elevator in the center of the facility to Zabuza's personal quarters, Tetsuya shooed away his students, telling them to find someplace to stay for the night, meanwhile telling the missing-nin to shut up about them freeloading their place, since they did it to everybody anyways. Zabuza confided with Tetsuya on a balcony over looking the dark and misty forest.

"Gatoh's getting impatient. He shoved me medical aid for me to recover faster. He wants us to kill Tazuna sooner." Zabuza began.

"What happens if we don't?"

"He'll decide we're not worth the trouble and kill us, of course. Idiot."

"Geez, this is troublesome. So what do you want us to do?"

"We're attacking tomorrow. Tazuna is overseeing the construction of the bridge, and he doesn't keep secret of its location. We'll get to the bridge first and attack him when he comes."

"Both you and the enemy jounin haven't recovered enough. This will be a battle of attrition, and seeing who runs out of chakra first."

"Gatoh expects no mercy. He wants me and you to go handle this."

"What about Naruto and Haku? They're a part of this."

"He only cares that you're the strongest of the three."

"I'll have to figure out something to say then…"

"Better make it fast. We're leaving tomorrow morning, and delivering the target's head to Gatoh by sunset."

-

-

-

Next Chapter: Tetsuya and Zabuza head for the bridge. Haku and Naruto head for the house. Blades flash and blood will fly. Who will be left alive?

A/N: Two questions. First, judge for me, after the scene with Sasuke and Naruto, does the rest of the chapter seem a little sloppy compared to the beginning? Also, I need a gauge of whether I got the ninja characterization right. Especially Sasuke. He's a pretty complex guy, since his motives and reasons for his personality are pretty clear. I didn't want to just get him out as just a basic snob. No. Sasuke is not a basic snob. He's a complex and evolved snob, and I wanted to make sure I got that right.


	7. Evil: We are NinjaKillers

The morning mist hadn't cleared quite completely yet. It made a good advantage for the two who were trying to reach the large bridge in the water by boat, undetected. While the sounds of concrete groaning and cracking from construction hadn't begun, the two could already hear the beginnings of it. Men shouting orders at their comrades in machines, grinding gears as cranes began to wake up, the sounds of tools being picked up.

Tetsuya looked up. His hidden eye could see quite clearly through the solid stone, and so far, they were still ahead of the their targets. Everybody moved like ignorant civilians, and none of them had that sort of extra springy paranoid step a ninja walked with, so that he would always be prepared for anything. So the samurai continued to move the boat forward with the long rowing staff, while Zabuza sat in the front. They didn't speak until they reached the uncompleted side of the bridge, where metal piling and framework stood out from the stone flesh of the bridge.

It was immense to say, in the least, now that the two were right under it. Both of them mostly likely have seen larger, perhaps like the ones in the Hidden Village of Stone, but this was certainly one to be amazed by in comparison to those meager stream-crossers.

"We're here. Let's get rid of those workers before they arrive." The missing-nin quickly ordered as he stood up, ready to leap the entire way up to the top of the bridge.

"Zabuza, wait." Tetsuya placed an arm onto Zabuza's shoulder, forcing him to switch his attention back to the samurai.

"What?" Came the reply, something between frustration and irritation. Obviously, the Silent Killer was raring to go kill some workers, or something like that.

"I know we had a difference in the past that was unsolved. You're still upset that I took Haku, aren't you?"

"Tch. I'm more upset I got defeated by a samurai. Haku would still have done better in my tutelage, though."

"Eitherway, we had our differences. But we're stuck in this together now, so I'm still going to have to look out for you as my partner for now. You going to do the same for me right, Zabuza?"

There was a pause before the bandaged face twisted into a sort of snorting position, "I'm a ninja, not a samurai. We're expected to perform to our very best despite our differences. Heh, don't worry, I'll be there to save your pansy ass when those genin beat you up."

With that Zabuza leapt up towards the bridge, leaving behind Tetsuya's responses.

"Hey you! Bastard! Don't forget I left you alive seven years back so we can finish our match! Don't give me that bull-shit!" With that, the Super Shiny Spinny Samurai chased after Zabuza in a similar jump.

The two of them landed in front of a very startled crowd, who all backed away in a few frightened steps from the two crouching powerful men with swords.

"Who-who are you two?"

Tetsuya stood up and stared at them all with his one glazed, bored eye. Professionalism took root. "Whom you will call… Tetsuya-sama."

He reached for his sword.

-

-

-

**Evil: We are Ninja-Killers.**

**­**-

-

-

Naruto sat up in the bed and yawned in a yowling sort of manner, arms outstretched in both the act of stretching out the tiredness of his muscles and greeting the rising of the sun outside the window. Still clothed in plain white sleeping clothes, the boy samurai proceeded to daily morning rituals.

It was certainly odd though. For a guy like Zabuza, who practically lived alone in this giant structure, there certainly were a lot of places for people to live in, with bathrooms and all. Crazy ninjas.

Naruto exited his momentary bedroom, dressed as he always was, sword over orange over black. Thereupon he found Haku passing through, traversing with something that looked like some sort of ration bar being chewed up in her mouth.

"Hey! Hey, Haku! Where'd you get that?"

Haku, being polite as she was, had to wait to swallow before continuing, "I found some sort of storeroom down there earlier this morning." She said, pointing down the hall.

"Cool. So I won't starve to death in this place. Did you see sensei any where around here?"

"No. I didn't see him when I woke up. He might have left early for some reason. He was always the most adept at waking up, even if he doesn't show it."

Naruto shrugged here, "Ah well, I suppose it's better this way. You are coming, right?"

"I promised, don't worry."

"O-kay, that's cool."

Since ration bars for breakfast meant they could walk and eat, the two of them took the elevator down immediately after finding more food. At the bottom, Naruto and Haku, with oatmeal looking blocks sticking out of their mouths, stepped down the front step to find a scrap of paper attached to one of the closest trees to Zabuza's 'mansion'.

_Haku, Naruto-_

_Yo. Out to shop. I heard the ninja guard the old man when he's building the bridge, so don't bring attention, and stay away from there, 'kay?_

_Nehways… outside of that don't be stupid._

_-Inukage Tetsuya-sama-sensei-god._

"…Shop? What sort of crap is that?" Naruto frowned at the note.

"It doesn't matter. If this gives us a chance to see these people of yours without Tetsuya's knowledge, we should take that chance."

"Eh, fine."

-

-

-

"I'm shaking… from excitement!" Sasuke sneered.

The water-clones in Zabuza's image didn't have a chance, and water sprayed everywhere in a clone mass murder. Sasuke's training in the control of his chakra showed its immediate effects. Chakra pushed to his legs allowed him to slide around each fake-opponent with ease before they could realize the mistake they made in underestimating Uchiha Sasuke.

"Ah! You're so strong, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed in blatancy. Sasuke kept a snort inward. The woman seemed only say the obvious at times.

The fog made by the ninja magic, **Kirigakure no Jutsu**, cleared further up the bridge so that Saskue, Sakura, Kakashi, and their charge, Tazuna could see two men.

One of them was Zabuza again, seemingly recovered and changed from his earlier clothing. This time, he actually wore a shirt, and his cowhide patterns of his arm warmers and boots were replaced with simpler designs. The bandaging and the sword still remained. He stood with his arms limps with an unemotional and gauging visage.

The second man none of them recognized, though. He was crouched on his toes, so that his crème cloak spilled past his legs and onto the ground. An arm had reached through the single sleeve and was propped up on one of the man's knees, while the hand supported a cheeky face. While one eye, through the long unkempt hair, remained under an eyepatch, the other was nearly closed in a cheery upraised position, like the whole spectacle was more a game than a battle.

The eye-patched man whistled. "Wow. That was better than I expected, eh Zabuza?"

"The kid seemed to have improved while I was gone."

Kakashi recognized the new face. The Bingo Book said… "You are…" the jounin began.

With that, the cloaked man stood up and pumped a fist into his chest with a grim and serious face, "Ultimate God of Swords, Steel Rain…" After that, the man seemed to realize what he said, "Wait… if I'm Steel Rain… that would make this…"

A snap of the fingers, "I got it!" He pointed to Zabuza first, "That'd make you Black Knight, Astral!" He pointed at Tazuna, "That would mean he's Fisherman of Time." He pointed at Kakashi, "He would be Retired Warrior, Gray Ranger. This bridge then would be the passageway to Ursula's castle, and that make those two…"

He looked at the genin. He face darkened. "…Red Ranger and Pink Ranger… agh! I hated volume197! Pink Ranger should be with Orange Ranger…"

Zabuza sighed, "Idiot. He wanted your real name…"

"I already know that name." Kakashi called back. His eyes were serious. "You're Inukage Tetsuya, aren't you."

'Tetsuya' grinned, "Oh? So I do have some popularity, after all…"

"Where's Naruto?"

Tetsuya's gave a frosty glare at Kakashi, "Not in Konoha, that's for sure."

Sakura, who was beside Kakashi, turned to her teacher with a confused look, "Naruto? Sensei, what does Naruto have to do with this man?"

Kakashi kept his eyes level with Tetsuya's as he calmly spoke. "Inukage Tetsuya. A dangerous A-Ranked criminal, for the crimes of the attempted theft of one of Konoha's most valuable documents, and for the kidnapping of… Uzumaki Naruto."

"What! B-but…I mean…I thought…How…" Sakura tried to begin, realizing she had met a child's ghost story face to face. Tetsuya groaned out.

"For the love of god, woman! Yes! That Naruto was that Naruto!"

"What are you planning with Naruto?" Kakashi asked. _We both know what he contains…_

"Oh, I wouldn't know. So far I've been training him to be a good samurai, like me."

"Naruto belongs to Konoha."

"Where the Anbu want to kill him, along with everybody else? Sorry, kids like him deserve a safer place."

"So, you're the one who's been training Naruto be a samurai?" Sasuke responded in a guarded tone. Tetsuya snickered with his hands in pockets and sauntered a step forward.

"So, you must be the red ranger that picked a fight with my student. How unfortunate. I suppose I'll take some revenge on the side."

Sasuke didn't hold back a sneer there, "Even if you're his master, you samurai are outdated. This should be easy."

"For which one of us, eh?" Tetsuya turned to his partner. "Hey, Zabuza. You finish that fight with Kakashi. You have more reason than me to exact revenge. I… will see how good those rookie genin are, compared to my students. Keep the old man between us. You'll see what I mean."

"Fine."

Tetsuya walked forward then at a brisk pace towards Sasuke. His arm slowly rose as he prepared to move for his sword, while Sasuke tensed and gave a grim look with those dark eyes. In a moment, the two dashed towards each other, Sasuke's hand reaching for a thick kunai while Tetsuya pulled out his sword. Sasuke moved first, slashing with his short blade which was held in a backwards grip. Tetsuya drew the handle close to his body and stabbed forward, catching the blades perpendicular with each other intercepted the attack.

Tetsuya grinned and pushed forward. Sasuke stifled a noise of surprise in his throat as he watched his enemy force his screeching and ringing blade upwards towards his face. The genin managed to jerk his neck back and avoid the blow, but Tetusya still continued until the kunai caught in the hand guard, whereupon the samurai launched his arm forward from its previous close position with the body forcing a surprised Sasuke through the air in an incredible show of strength. Somewhere Sakura was shouted 'Sasuke-kun!' while Kakashi called for her to look after Tazuna.

Sasuke threw the kunai in his hand at Tetsuya, who merely moved out of the way before charging down the bridge after the flying Sasuke. As he righted himself in the air to land on his feet, the Uchiha noted their positions. So this was what the samurai meant by 'keeping the old man between them'. With both of them on opposite sides of Tazuna, Kakashi couldn't go and help him, or he would leave himself and Tazuna open for attack. In the same way, Sasuke would have to find a way to keep Tetsuya occupied with him, since the samurai was between him and Tazuna, and could easily turn tail and go after Tazuna.

Sakura at best would only delay them from their target.

"Ora, ora, ora!" Tetsuya screamed out as he dashed towards Sasuke. The genin still couldn't help but smirk.

But in the end, there was no way Sasuke was going to let himself lose to a dinosaur like this guy.

-

-

-

A young hand rapped upon the word door. A 'coming!' sounded within, and the locked door opened, revealing Tsunami to Haku and Naruto, and vice versa.

"Oh, Naruto! How nice to see you so soon!"

"Nice to see you, too, Tsunami!" Naruto grinned, hands behind his head. "I brought a friend of mine over to say hi too!"

"Greeting, Ms. Tsunami." Haku gracefully bowed.

"Oh? And who is this?"

"My friend! Practically my sister! We're both training under the same sensei, you know!"

"Mentioning my name could also help…" Haku muttered with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yeah! Tsunami, this is Haku!"

"I see. Well, you're both welcome to come in."

Tsunami led the way in, followed by the pair, side by side. "Inari! Naruto's back, so be sure to say hi to him and his friend!" She shouted out as she walked into the kitchen, leaving the two inside the living room.

Haku looked at Naruto, "Inari?"

"Tsunami's kid."

"Really…"

A young child, much younger than even Naruto, walked by the doorway of the living room and kitchen that connected to hall and gave a grim look to the guests. This Inari, dressed in green overalls and a hat that attempted to swamp his head, looked them over once, muttered something halfway between "Hi" and "Die", and disappeared down the hall in his continued path.

"He's not a very pleasant person, is he?" Haku noted.

"He's like that."

Tsunami returned from the cooking alcove with a small tray with tea that tasted more like flavored water than watery tea, along with the proper cups, "I'm sorry the house is not as lively as yesterday, but nearly everybody is out at work. So, what brings you two over here?"

Haku gave a look to Naruto to answer. He just shuffled his feet. Apparently, it was embarrassing for him to get to the point. At that the female samurai frowned and turned Tsunami to get it over with, "Naruto asked me to come over so I could hear the story about Kaiza."

Tsunami was quite visibly shocked. "Oh! Oh… I see… why?"

Naruto spoke up, "Well, I figured I could do something about it! I just need to get Haku's help first, so I want her to listen so she'd get what's happening!"

"Well, if you want. But… you'd better sit down first."

Seated around the long table, tea was poured out along with the story of a man trapped between being a martyr, a hero, and an idiot…

Kaiza…he was a fisherman of the village. No, beyond fisherman, he was the hero of the village. Inari always looked up to him as a sort of a father he never had, a sort of idol. Kaiza was a good man, true. He always had a determination that seemed to allow the impossible to be accomplished. If there was one thing he always believed in, was that he had those two arms given to him to help everybody. It seemed like that hero could never fail.

_Gatoh unfortunately, seemed to also be gifted with that unique talent of allowing the impossible to be accomplished. _

_If Kaiza had his arms, Gatoh did the same with his money. The CEO came in force, taking over the country. The poor fisherman hero seemed to be the only one who would stand up, despite everything. The lone hero against the crooked businessman's army. The next day the whole village would see the ruined form tied to a cross, missing both his arms._

"_This will be a lesson to anybody who dare thinks he can go against Gatoh-sama!"_

_Kaiza smiled before his chest was cleaved in two. Inari was there to see it himself. Even if Kaiza knew he did what he could, everybody else took Gatoh's warning to heart. If even the idolized hero of the village couldn't stand up to him, who else could possibly be safe, much less win?_

_Everybody has changed since then. Everyone thinks there's no hope of winning. At this rate Gatoh will destroy the country, with no one to object. There's only Tazuna left. He's the only one who can finish that bridge._

_That bridge that will connect the people with their hope again…_

"Well… that's the story." Tsunami concluded quietly.

"I see…" Haku hummed.

"See? Gatoh's an ass! This isn't just about some transport feuding, it's the entire hope of Wave Country now!"

"Hmmm… You're right Naruto."

Naruto brightened up, "Really?"

"…It's like you said, it's just more of the same." Haku abruptly stood up from her seat, "I'm sorry Naruto, but it's still not reason enough. What Gatoh does in his spare time isn't suppose to concern us… I'm sorry for taking up your time, Ms. Tsunami."

"B-but, Haku! We can't just leave them like this!" Naruto chased after.

"Hope and people come and go Naruto-" Haku had just reached the door when she suddenly felt something wrong. The raised an arm to pause Naruto, who also noticed it just then.

Both of the samurai's faces darkened. Naruto slung the blade off his back and held the whole device in his left hand, ready to draw with his right, while Haku pulled the moisture out of the air, calling a dense frozen weapon into her relaxed hand.

"Naruto, how many do you feel?"

"Two…three…no, just two."

"I thought so… I recognize that obsessive taste for blood…" Haku coldly muttered.

"It's** those** two." Naruto growled

"What are you two talking about…?" Tsunami whispered, suddenly fearing the change in atmosphere.

The door fell apart in several cleanly sliced pieces then, revealing behind it Gatoh's two favorite bodyguards, the Iaido swordsmen. Familiarly, one was wearing a kimono that was pulled down to the belt holding it, revealing the tanned chest and scars and an eye patch to complete the whole veteran look. The second being the one Tetsuya fought before, wearing a giant floppy coat and wollen hat, despite the warm temperature.

"Well, what do we have here?" The floppy one sneered.

The one with the eye patch, who was also sheathing his sword from cutting down the door looked with some minor surprise and amusement, "The old man's lady… and those two kids that came with that Inukage fellow! What the hell are they doing here?"

"I could ask the same for suddenly intruding on us with such display of force." Haku called back.

"Yeah! What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be bodyguards, right?" Naruto followed after.

"Don't be stupid. We were ordered by Gatoh to get Tazuna's girl."

"What? How come we don't know?" Naruto scrunched up his face.

"Idiot, it's just your job to take care of the ninja. But, if you want, you can help us. We can put a good word in for Gatoh…" The pale floppy one suggested.

"Naruto, what does he mean by that? Are you actually…" Tsunami left the sentence unfinished, a she backed away from the group of four.

"Well… yeah. We were hired by Gatoh to handle the ninja." Naruto sheepishly said as he scratched his head.

"You lied to us-"

"How about it?" The half naked one cut in, "You wanna get her for us?"

"No!"

"…what?"

"I'm not working for Gatoh anymore! He's a sick bastard, and that means I'm making sure the two of you aren't getting Tsunami either!" Naruto shouted, grabbing the handle of his sword, ready at any moment.

"What the hell kid? You think you can just run in and out of jobs as you please? Don't be stupid, kid, that means you'll be taking on Gatoh! Plus, what will your buddies think about this?"

"Shut up! I at least know what's the right thing to do right now!"

The bronzed Iaijutsu warrior snorted in disgust, "Fuck you, kid. I'll just kill you all and get the bitch after. Besides, you guys are still too expensive for Gatoh's tastes. We might as well off you now, while you're away from your teacher."

"Good, good… I was hoping to get back at that Tetsuya…" Floppy one said, shivering in delight as the two of them reached for their blades.

"So… Haku. If you're not going to help for the villagers, can you help because Gatoh's the enemy now?" Naruto asked, looking out of the corner of his eye to his friend.

Haku sighed before grabbing her weapon with both hands, "You seem to have a way with dragging us into things, don't you Naruto?"

Naruto smiled.

-

-

-

_He's fast!_ Sasuke jerked his body to the side to avoid a stab to his right side. Tetsuya had been keeping a poker face throughout the battle, even up to now.

Tetsuya seemed to be more of a dodger. Every return by the Uchiha survivor seemed to have the samurai twist out of the way in similar manners to a ninja, without even trying to block any of them with his sword.

The samurai sliced upwards again at Sasuke's face, making his back up again. This time Tetsuya continued the motion, twisting around on one foot so that his entire body swiveled, so that in a fluttering of cloth an unexpected leg struck out in the same direction, catching Sasuke off guard and slamming the sole right under his jaw, knocking him back.

Sasuke dropped back to his feet in time to raise his kuani again to stop a downward chop. Tetsuya remained emotionless.

"I thought Pink Ranger said you were the number one rookie. Is this all you got? Just having the basics down? God damn, I memorized the basics before you even probably even knew how to piss in a bowel."

_How much did Naruto tell him?_

"If this is the best Leaf genin can do… I am disappointed!" Tetsuya suddenly broke the deadlock and swirled away, the cloak moving in confusing patterns in front of Sasuke's eyes as he lost track of where his enemy's body went.

_He's behind me!_ Sasuke gritted his teeth as he felt the presence behind him. As Sasuke tried to turn away, the presence behind him followed move for move, keeping behind Sasuke's back at every move. With a leaping roll forward, the ninja managed to avoid the blade that shot out of the back of Tetsuya's mantle, only managing to slice an opening into the back of the genin's dark blue shirt. In a moment, the sword was already out of the cloak and flashing around in Tetsuya's hand chasing hungrily after Sasuke, who dodged away every time, still escaping with only light gashes that appeared under corresponding rips in his clothing that suddenly appeared. A final leap away avoided Sasuke's foot from being pinned into the concrete ground as the sword stabbed deep. Several more feet back the Uchiha placed himself, while Tetsuya simple released the grip on his sword, leaving it impaled in the ground while hand moved to his hips in an arrogant fashion.

_This guy is too fast for me. He could easily be considered a Taijutsu expert if he were a ninja. I can't keep up with him at this range…_

"And so you think, 'what can I do to get him at long range?'" Tetsuya finished for the number-one rookie. As such, Sasuke couldn't help give a look of shocked surprise.

"How do I know? Tch, idiot boy. That's all you are. A new brat out of the academy who suddenly thinks he can take on the world," The samurai pointed at Sasuke, "Just because you got that stupid piece of metal on your forehead. Idiot. I may be a samurai, but I've fought far longer than you have. I fought all kinds of ninja, and most of them realize the first thing, they can't keep up with me in close combat. You're nothing special, _genin_."

Sasuke growled inwardly, feeling a parallel to what he said to Naruto a while back, while hearing the words Tetsuya said.

_He's right. He probably can anticipate my moves. Still… he's an evasive type…_ "In that case, I'm not holding back!" Sasuke shouted back, and from behind his back, a large bladed item slid into his grip. A snap of his hand, and the single blade split apart around the central ring, transforming into a sword-bladed shuriken.

"…The shadow windmill… Fuuma Shuriken." Sasuke announced, a smirk hitched in that voice. Tetsuya snorted.

"What the hell? You just going to use shuriken? You're insulting me, boy!"

Sasuke leapt high into the air, before winding up and throwing down the giant spinning blade down at Tetsuya. The samurai grinned expectantly at this current attempt to injure him, before sliding forward slightly to pull his katana out of the ground. Thrusting forward his sword, Tetsuya's timing was impeccable as the katana slid right into the center ring of the Fuuma shuriken, stopping it right in front of his face. Immeaditly after, without even looking, Tetsuya brought one of his legs straight up before bringing his foot straight down on another similar designed shuriken that was headed for his ankles. The weapon crashed into the ground under the samurai's foot.

Sasuke, again shocked at the dinosaur samurai out pacing the modern ninja.

Tetsuya sneered at Sasuke's face. Holding out the katana holding the shuriken with one arm, he jerked his weapon slightly causing the central ring of the shuriken to slide down the sword and hang from Tetsuya's arm. Kicking up the second one from the ground, Tetsuya began.

"Don't feel too bad. It was a good trick for someone of your level. Expecting me to duck backwards under the first one headed for my chest, so I wouldn't see the one hidden in its shadow head for my legs. However, just because I don't want to batter my sword around, doesn't mean I'll make use of it sometimes. This is also my special ability."

"Special ability?" Sasuke frowned.

"I See a mile away all the tricks you can do. It was so obvious the movement you made to hide the second shuriken." Tetsuya shrugged. "So you can't beat me in close combat, I dodge all your thrown attacks, and I can see through all the tricks. That leaves you with just ninjutsu. But that won't help either, believe me."

Sasuke pulled two more kunai for each hand while Tetsuya fiddled with one of the shuriken, finally finding out how to snap it into a single blade. The lone eye twinkled with a menacing delight as he spoke "Now 'scuse me, but I'm going show you how to correctly use these sweet puppies…" The samurai passed the katana in his hand towards his mouth, where the handle was gripped firmly between bared teeth. Sliding the second shuriken into the free hand, that was also slid into its single blade position. Tetsuya posed a battle stance with his three swords. At that, the Uchiha raised his own weapons.

Tetsuya surged forwards. Sasuke could only back away in defense while his own captured Fuuma Shuriken and Tetsuya's mouthed Katana continually blocked and pushed each of his kunai away, making room for the third weapon to attack. As Sasuke jumped away from one downward blow with one of the shuriken, the cement gave way in a small explosion.

_He's pushing chakra into the swords?_

Another blur of motion and Sasuke managed to raise his weapons to his side in time to feel three swords slam into his somewhat protected side with enough force that he flew down the bridge in the direction of Sakura and Tazuna were. While he didn't land in front of them, he still arrived a lot closer than before.

Sasuke stood up and watched the silhouetted of the cloaked samurai become larger through the mist.

_Damnit. I'm between him and the others, but he's too fast for me to pick up his movements until it's too late. At this rate he could easily plow through me and get to the others before I can do anything._

_Wait… Kakashi's training…is it possible to concentrate chakra to the eyes…then maybe…_

Sasuke didn't have time for 'maybe's. He'd either do the same stupid thing again, or see if chakra in the eyes could allow him to catch the movements, perhaps even…

Moving through the mist, Tetsuya stopped himself as he saw Sasuke deep in meditation, hands stuck in a particular hand seal used for concentration.

_What is he doing?_ Tetsuya couldn't help but wonder in the pause in combat.

_I don't like this. His chakra's moving in a weird way. He might actually have a trump card. Fine, let's end this!_ Tetsuya grinned wildly to himself before throwing his arms wide, and splaying out the Fuuma Shuriken into a throwing arrangement again. Throwing both of his arms forward towards each other, the two spinning tops of death flew forwards, along with several more kunai that slipped silently out of Tetsuya's sleeve and cloak.

…

…

…

…_I can see…_

Almost imperceptibly, he could feel his senses almost slow down the movement of the fuuma shuriken, even if for just a second.

_I can see._

_I can see!_

"I can **see it now!"** The ninja's arms shot forward, catching both of the large blades in a similar fashion, before quickly spinning them around their central rings like a shield, knocking all of the dangerously directed smaller blades out of the way.

Tetsuya's eye widened. Sasuke's eyes snapped.

"I can see!" Red eyes and an angry cry, and Sasuke returned his own weapon one more time. Tetsuya smirked, for him to have been afraid of that yell a moment ago. He raised his hand in an effortless show of catching the Fuuma Shuriken. That would be enough to put the brat in his-

"Blarrrghgh!" Tetsuya coughed out his sword, while Sasuke was already ducked low in front of the samurai, fist rammed deep into his side. Sasuke was already moving up on the ante, a foot kicked up into Tetsuya's gut, before a swirling roundhouse into the side of his face knocked him to the ground before he could finish reacting to the first blow.

"What the fuck-" Tetsuya only got off the ground in time to push away Sasuke's foot that was headed towards his chest while he was on the ground. With that the samurai, momentarily without his main weapon, placed both his palms onto the ground and kicked off, spinning around with his legs flying around as he spun from the base of his arms. Sasuke, his vision suddenly improved, merely blocked the blow with a firm leg in place before kicking Tetsuya away. With that, the growling swearing samurai rolled across the ground for a few moments further before stopping on one knee.

_I want my sword back._ "Come on! Bring it!" Tetsuya charged in a mad manner towards Sasuke, before launching out a foot, which the genin caught easily in both his hands. Tetsuya from there use that hold as a base to flip over Sasuke, rolling back over back before landing behind the boy and leaping for his sword that lay on the ground, whereupon he grabbed it hastily and spun around, both hands holding his sword in a careful stance. Sasuke smirked.

"Red eyes… A leaf ninja with red eyes. I know that…"

"I have to thank you for giving me these eye, samurai. It's the end of the game for you, now."

"I see… You got Uchiha blood in you. One of those who fan the flames of war. Tch, I should have recognized that symbol. So you achieved Sharingan, eh?"

"Hmph."

"I see… But those eyes aren't too much advantage here. I don't have too much that you can copy."

"That's not all the Sharingan can do."

"…oh?"

"I can see those fast movements of yours even better now. You slow-poke."

"Tch. I see… no wonder…" Tetsuya sighed before sheathing his sword, "If you can keep up with my movements, then I have to do something myself. Man… I hear all you Uchihas got wiped out a couple years back. Doesn't that make you a dinosaur too? Fighting for survival…"

"Shut up."

"Fine, fine. But I'm going to use one of my trump cards now… allow me…" Tetsuya brought his hands together in a familiar movement that shocked the newly christened Sharingan user.

_Hand Seals? Wait…I know that pattern…Kawarimi no justu?_

Tetsuya snickered as he stopped at the final position. "Allow me to show you the true power of Replacement, in the hands of a samurai. I assure you, when this battle is over, I will be known as the one who made the Uchiha clan truly extinct."

-

-

-

The battle quickly moved to the out of the house. Generally, it was always smarter to fight in a place where your sword didn't get stuck against random walls that seem to be always in the way of your strike. Naruto had so far rushed towards the two Iaido users, waving his open sword and scabbard everywhere in front of him, and pushing the two men out of the door. The moment they exited, Naruto gasped and ducked out of the way, before the empty door way also received a wide line of a cleaving blow in each post.

Naruto turned back to his partner quickly, "Haku, I'm going first!"

"Be careful. They're waiting for the moment you run out of patience."

"Right!" Naruto charged through the entranceway, while Haku turned to look back at the frazzled Tsunami.

"I'd advise you to find a safe place to hide while Naruto and I protect you." Haku already was gone without bothering to hear any reply.

Outside Naruto was holding himself admirably. The cramped bridge that spanned the lake between the shore and the house, plus the much larger frame of the half-naked swordsman who was in front let the Kyuubi incarnate handle one opponent at a time, with furious slashes with both his weapons directed at his enemy. The Iaijustsu user continually defended with his sheathed sword before finding an opportunity. Backing away from Naruto as he attacked, the boy slammed down onto the ground in his missed strike. But he was already rolling out of the way while the wood under him exploded from an immensely powerful blow. The samurai's years of training paid off once more, as while the boy rolled onto the water, chakra control kept him buoyant above the surface of the water before he stood atop it. Naruto took offense again from the opposite side of the railing. Haku was already running across the bridge low to the ground, sword at her side to intercept the one wearing the heavy winter jacket, who had moved to past his partner to intercept.

It became, like the stories always described, a dance between the two. For the two students, unlike their master, they seemed to have no qualm about their blades clashing against the defending wood sheaths, while each waited patiently for the golden moment.

The half-naked one fighting Naruto, and the much more berserk than the other, became annoyed too soon. He mistook his lack of good opponents for having good skill, and when finally seeing a good opponent, instead saw a lucky brat. His temper over taking him, the bare chest Iaijustu user grabbed for the bandage wrapped handle to draw for an attack. Wrong move in Naruto's lessons-

_Tetsuya stopped his student's draw by catching his palm in the point where the hand and the sword handle made a corner. The sword remained trapped halfway out and its owner at the mercy at the un-amused mentoring face._

_"Naruto… how many times do I have to tell you…"_

_"B-but sensei, I'm doing exactly what you did!"_

_"Idiot! I'm a friggin single FOOT in front of you! What's the reason the sword is so long?"_

_"Because-"_

_"Because it's made that way so you can cut the person while being FAR AWAY from the guy! If you're going to get the guy up close, then quite using this sword and buy a knife or a gauntlet or something! Being close with something this long is clumsy. Drawing at this range makes you suicidal and clumsy! No matter what school of sword art!"_

No matter what school, huh.

Naruto's scabbard smashed into the end of the bodyguard's handle, bringing the draw to a halt. At the same moment, Naruto plunged his sharper of the two weapons into his opponent's chest, right between the lungs. The cry of pain was cut short as blood began to make its escape journey up the Iaijutsu swordsman's throart, bubbling out and pouring out the corner's of the mouth. Just as the Kyuubi samurai was about pull out his rust-red sword, the tanned and obviously much more muscled and stronger hand crushed its grip over the 12-year-old one that was holding the sword. The second hand shot forward and made its vice grip around Naruto's throat, cutting off his own surprised gasp.

"Damn…kid… kill you!" Was the gurgled death-throe, and the larger frame forced himself through the wooden railing between them, and fell on top of Naruto, with intents of bringing them both down by drowning. The water geysered up momentarily as the large combined body of mass plunged through the surface.

While Haku tried her best to keep her steady head, even with the sight of Naruto falling through the and the images of him only returning as a bloated corpse, her enemy, the floppy coated yojimbo jerked his head back momentarily in shock and anger to see his buddy pass away. He turned back with a snarl.

"Fucking bitch!" Was the shout, along with an aggressive slash from him, which caught the woman off guard, never expecting such a defensive player to switch so suddenly. A flash of light, and Haku was blown back. Collasping onto her butt, the force made her cough up blood as she realize that the slash actually made it past her defence, and had cut a sizable gash across her collar. But she was so sure it at least wouldn't make it through… wasn't her sword raised then?

She then finally noticed that most of her frosted sword was missing. The attack actually cut through her ice. Eyes widened.

"Damnit! That's it for you! Die!" The jacketed man, wild with revenge, didn't bother re-sheathing for a second elementary strike. He simply grabbed his sword with both hands and raised it over his head.

Haku's eyes went from surprised shocked to shocked at what was about to happen. Without her sword she was running out of options. She couldn't escape in time, and at this point, it would take too long for the moisture to condense in time to make a second blade.

_Ohgodohfuckohshitohmygodohmygodohmygod-_

-

-

-

Tetsuya brought his sword down on Sasuke, who dodged the attack easily now. The explosion of the cement in his last position however, gave a very good clue at the amount of chakra that was being force into that blade.

_Shit, I can't let myself get hit by that even once!_ In the air, the genin immediately let his hands move to his favored combination of hand seals as he attacked.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Bringing encircled fingers to his mouth, he momentarily let chakra run down to his chest before he spat it out in flames that was wide enough to cover the entire width of the bridge his enemy was on.

Tetsuya merely jumped out of the flames, practically unaffected by the flames before rising to be level with the ninja, whereupon kunai flew out of his cloak. Sasuke stopped burning the ground as he was forced to twist his body out of the way of each thrown article as the two of them landed. Tetsuya again rushed towards him, sword in mouth, hands blurring in shapes for the same damn jutsu over and over. Sasuke merely spat out more flames again, but the samurai that was swamped up by the river of burning death immediately exploded into ninja smoke and charring wood, while the replaced appeared right above his switched position, from which he used the remaining wood to kick off from and leap above the fire, hands again in the same sequence.

This was becoming a waste of chakra at the rate Sasuke was going. If he used the same jutsu again at the aerial swordsman, he would just kawarimi again and kick off from the replaced wood to shoot toward the ground and bypass the remaining flames. If Sasuke used kunai or shuriken, he would merely absorb the blows and reappear behind the replacement wood and use it as a shield. At least he was able to keep track of his movements now with his Sharingan. Unstoppable before, Tetsuya had now become stalled, and the whole process irritating for the two of them.

Kunai still sung regardless, but it kept on only contacting timber. The samurai was now zigzagging across the bridge to ensure at least he was approaching the still ninja in small strides before he disappeared in smoke.

Clash. The last Tetsuya exploded again in ninja smoke while the newly arisen one leaped out at Sasuke, sword flashing. The two of them again stopped each other in a dead lock of weapons.

Somewhere off the distance, the unexpected barking of dogs caught both their attention.

"What the-"

Sasuke capitalized first. He shoved the samurai's blade out of the way and stabbed his weapon into Tetsuya's shoulder and left it there to make room for empty fists. A short flurry of well placed punches rocked the single eyed face all over before one more kick to the stomach to stagger him back before launching a high angled one back at the face again, throwing him onto his back.

Tetsuya didn't care; he was too busy looking through the fog to see where the barking came from. His more special eye moved his vision through the fog to find his trusted partner being pinned down by Kakashi, who was using ninja dogs that burst out of the ground (even if it was a bridge) and were using their jaws to hold Zabuza in place. Not only that-

_What the hell? Chakra in his hand? Is that chakra in his hand? Geez he's going to stab him!_

That was the last straw. If this was the most exciting the job was going to offer him, playing a stall mating game with some punk kid and getting kicked around and helping a ninja awaken his special ability for no charge at all and now the guy he was supposed to look after is about to die and he's on the wrong end of the bridge and Naruto and Haku were probably out having a stroll in the sunny afternoon while he books were rotting and everybody about to die and-

**"I've fucking had enough!"** Tetsuya bellowed. He stood up and raised the sword above his head. He was going to bring a clean slate to this bridge in one blow. Fucking blow every damn ninja and person off this bridge-

-

-

-

What disgusting business it was. Naruto wasn't one to be desperate, but he really needed air, plus the guy was dead anyways. Using his free hand, he tucked his sheath away and pulled out a kunai, and drew them to the dead yojimbo's fingers.

A few eternities later, compressed into the span of a minute, Naruto kicked off the waterlogged corpse that was now bereft of any fingers. Pushing through the water, he hacked and coughed a bit to see Haku walking heavily down the bridge towards the yellow buoy that emerged from the water, one arm clutching a bloody chest, the other helping her lean against the railing.

"Haku! Haku, are you okay?" Naruto called from the water.

"F-fine…"

Naruto turned to look down the bridge. The other yojimbo was dead on his feet. Protruding from one side and out the other was an icicle of an ugly green sap color that emanated from the railings and wood itself.

Pulling himself back onto the wood span, the two were crouched in front of each other as they coughed and recovered.

Splutter, "Hey… Haku… How'd you do that…?"

Cough, weak wheeze, "I found out at last minute that… wood still contained some water in it…"

"Lucky… you…you alright…?"

"I'll be fine… fast enough…"

The two of them walked back to the house, where Tsunami awaited them.

Haku, moderately recovered sighed, "I though I told you to hide."

"We'll discuss that later, we have to fix that wound."

"We don't have time for that ourselves. We need to find our teacher before Gatoh's men get him too." Haku said, refusing.

"But our country is so big!" Tsunami objected.

"Hey, Haku. Was Zabuza at the house when we woke up?"

"No, neither was Tetsuya-sensei… no…"

"Oh crap. Tetsuya warned us to not go near the bridge. Plus he said he was out 'shopping'. You don't think that…"

"I think they are at the bridge."

"Then we'd better go! We can stop the whole thing right there if we're lucky!"

The two began to run down the remainders of the bridge before a boy's voice stopped them.

"Wait!"

The two looked back at the boy, Inari who stepped out from behind his mother.

"Why are you doing this… aren't you guys supposed to be with Gatoh?"

Naruto grinned, and couldn't help but rub his nose. "Not any more! Haku and I both decided he's an ass if he's going to do this. We're going to stop this."

"You're being stupid! You can't win like this! It's just the two of you against Gatoh and his entire army! You'll die!"

"So what? Samurai like us shouldn't expect to live forever. I'd rather be dying trying to help, than let this whole issue sit around. If there's something Sensei taught me, is doing something about something you don't like. At least I'll now I tried to do something. Kaiza died trying to do that, what are you doing, sitting around acting depressed like this is stupid tragedy?"

Naruto ran off first, leaving Haku to look quietly at the two, "He's right. Tragedies may have unhappy endings, and comedies their happy endings. But there's no set ending here. There's always going to be tomorrow. Gatoh's only going to be here as long as you want him to."

Haku followed after, leaving the home silent. But perhaps more ambitious.

-

-

-

Dust and cement fly up into the air as a straight line of force rushed down the center of the bridge, throwing the entire bridge into disarray. Tazuna, Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi, even Zabuza and the dogs attached to him, they were all tossed about and back onto the ground while Tetsuya grunted and wheezed in effort, his sword still stuck in the ground.

Fuck this all. I'm fucking stabbing the old man right here and now! Tetsuya hissed in his head as he began to march down the bridge. Even through the dust and slowly dissipating fog, he could still easily See the location of his quarry. Pink Ranger was still with him, though.

It was sort of funny, seeing them cough a little, then notice his outline, before the fear of their eyes alighted upon the realization that this was the "Oh shit I'm dead" man. Pink Ranger prolly thought Red Ranger was dead or something. She still acted pretty smart though. Professionalism managed to beat out Sasuke-kun.

The kunoichi stood up, fear in her holding up her breath, and held a single kunai in both hands backwards. A basic stance. "Tazuna! Run!" Blind instinct told the older man to run away from the showdown, even if it meant towards two ninja and the unfinished side of the bridge. A single calculative eye easily saw a trajectory, held the very end of his sword in his palm like a javelin, and threw it past Pink Ranger's reach. The weapon dug itself into the back of Tazuna's leg, dropping him with a shriek.

"Tazuna!" Pink Ranger looked back in shock. Tetsuya quickly marched forwards, a kunai falling through the sleeve into his hand. The sudden approach put the kunoichi off. She freaked and charged forwards, trying to get a first hit in. Tetsuya easily caught her right wrist that was armed, and lifted a foot to stomp into her belly, before pulling her up with the same arm to kick a few more times, make sure she's fucked up enough so she won't hassle anything any more.

Tetsuya sensed a presence flying from behind and merely hoisted Sakura up through the air like a makeshift club to slam Sasuke out of the way, while letting go of his weapon so that she would fly away. Hopefully off the bridge, where'd she either drown or get saved by Sasuke and thus put two ninja out of commission and maybe they'd both drown. Whatever.

As he approached, Tazuna raised an arm to stop him. "Don't do this!

Tetsuya merely disregarded it and raised his kunai, just as "Sensei!" was shouted to him.

"Euh?" Tetsuya turned to look down the bridge, where an orange form and a blue form raced over to stop beside him.

"Sensei! Don't do this!"

"Naruto, Haku, what are you doing here?"

"Tetsuya-sensei. We have to quit this job!"

"What the hell? After all my hard work, of all times NOW? Look here! He's right here!"

"Gatoh sent men to take hostages, and along the way mentioned that we were on the death list, because we were still to expensive."

"Wh-wha…WHAT!" Tetsuya shrieked. "This is so stupid!"

Meanwhile, Sasuke (for Sakura had not fallen off the bridge) slowly eased his way to the rear of the three. He still had enough chakra left for one more, and they were too distracted to make seals for kawarimi in time.

_…Horse, Tiger…_ "Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

The three samurai turned around just in time to see flames envelop them all. Given the flames were already burning for a full five seconds without any samurai bursting out of it, or ninja smoke, Sasuke decided he could breath a sigh of relief.

The breath was choked on as the fireball disintegrated, with Naruto cleaving the flames apart in a single stroke. None of them burned, none of them amused.

Naruto glared, "Hey, ninja. We're discussing whether we should let you live or not. You got a death wish?"

_Is this the same Naruto as yesterday?_ Sasuke heard in the back of his head. He just cut through his technique…

"Tetsuya! Tetsuya! Get your damn samurai ass here now!" Zabuza's hoarse cry came over.

The three of them looked down the direction of the bridge the voice came from. The fog by then was cleared up enough to see something not very pleasant.

Gatoh… along with easily over a hundred raggedy men carrying weapons of all kinds, crossing the channel to the bridge by the large armored boat. The samurai quickly stood next to their momentary ninja partner, while grimacing out of the corner of their eyes, Kakashi.

"Looks like we've been betrayed, Kakashi…" Zabuza mumbled out, seeing the army before him. The whole matter would have been easily solved in seconds if both his arms weren't pierced to uselessness by kunai.

"Zabuza… you idiot… you didn't listen to me about the point of your sword being so long those year back, didn't you…" Tetsuya deadpanned. Of all the times for the ninja to have no arms…

"Shut up…"

"How unfortunate. Looks like none of you guys actually killed each other." Gatoh sneered, still pleased nonetheless that all the fighters were worse for wear in the end.

"That's why I said we should have quit this job, Tetsuya-sensei." Haku noted.

Tetsuya raised a fist and a voice full of expletives.

"Oi, Kakashi." Naruto looked up at the Leaf Ninja, "You actually still want to fight us at this point?"

"There's no more need kid" Zabuza interjected, "Gatoh broke the contract with us first. We're all freelance as of this moment. It's not Kakashi's job to defeat us as missing-nin… or criminals.

"He's right. At this point I'm more concerned about my students and the safety of Wave Country." Kakashi shrugged.

"It can't be helped then…" Tetsuya shrugged before walking forward slightly, then turning to his comrades. "Well, at this point, I haven't actually killed anyone on your team, Kakashi. Just messed with them a bit, and that's because your student insulted mine first. Same for Zabuza. He hasn't actually killed anyone on your team… just decided to…train them a little…"

"Oh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He had a feeling where this was going.

"At this point of time, all four of us aren't really related to you in this situation. So, you were just an eyewitness to a feud between a criminal mastermind and some of his dissenters while you guys were on a mission, cool? Right Zabuza?"

The demon snorted, "Might as well have some backup while you're here."

"Right! And so we all disappear… and everything goes back to normal, right Kakashi? Let us handle Gatoh, and leave us Naruto and the rest of us alone."

"…I guess it can't be helped. It is the four of you against one of me. I'm low on chakra, and have yet to find the situation of Sasuke and Sakura."

"Right then! Somebody get Zabuza here a Kunai. At least he won't misjudge range with **that**."

Zabuza growled something intelligible while a kunai was stuffed into his bandaged mouth. The four thus proceeded towards the army.

Gatoh was slightly taken aback, but did his best to handle the situation, "What's this? You guys actually believe you can take all of us on?"

Naruto sneered back, "What's this? You guys actually believe you can take all of **us **on?"

"Like I said before, that's the thing you should be more worried about." Tetsuya grinned.

"Tch… kill them all!"

The army charged forwards.

A little while later, several bodies and body parts would be falling into the river below the bridge. One of them was Gatoh's head.

-

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-

"Inari! You did do something after all!" Naruto cheered past Kakashi. Inari, despite Naruto's blood stained form, couldn't help but act a little cheeky.

In the end, Inari was the first to get out of the scare of Gatoh, and quickly a small rag-tag force of the people of Wave Country came to fight. They chased the remaining stragglers away from the bridge, and onto the boat. They were still amazed by the carnage all over the bridge. So far Kakashi, and whatever Sakura and Sasuke could do, were all helping cordon off the Samurai and single lone missing-nin from the rest of the populace. Some agreed they were dangerous, others felt they were hero as much as the rest of the ninja.

Wave Country, in a word, was free.

Tetsuya just shrugged, "Eh, we better get going. We'll leave the festivities to the Leaf guys."

"B-but Sensei! We came here to get away from ninja!"

"I change my mind. This place already got more excitement than I need. We're going someplace else."

Haku sighed somewhere, but agreed.

"Oi, Zabuza. You wanna have us drop you off at your place before we keep going?"

"Get my sword."

"Naruto, get his sword."

"What? I can't pick this up!"

"Then drag it. It's what you both deserve. Zabuza for not listening, and Naruto for quitting at the worst time possible."

"Hey! It was the best time possible! If it weren't for me, then Gatoh…"

Kakashi sighed as he watched the group of ex-Gatoh fighters jump off the uncompleted bridge, back into the road of life.

_There will be other times when we will get Naruto back to Leaf…_

Next Chapter: Oh the joys and perils of being a bandit! Evil Arc ends, Luv! Arc begins. Perhaps a relationship between ninja and samurai is borne here. But is it the sort of relationship we expect?

A/N: I wrote prematurely before sticking this at the end, so that I can apologize if the Inari bit was a bit forced. As usual, comment away.


	8. Luv! : A Day in a Life of a Bandit

To tell you the truth, after this arc gets done, things get a little wonky. I so far managed to plan up to here, and I know where I want the story to end, the events in between are broken up. You might not hear from me for a while after this arc is finished.

Oh yeah. James Ray Edwards. Wrote a story "How to be a Mr. Nice Guy." Essentially, it's the same formula, but it replaces Tetsuya with another guy (I'll leave the reading to you). I'm not saying he's stealing or anything. Let me say that again. I AM NOT WHINING ABOUT THEFT. Because he didn't really steal anything in the first place. Good story I must say, prolly better than this one. It sucks for my brain to keep hunting for parallels, but that's life. I did say this is your typical story, true… but I'm still surprised. Still, his guy can't beat my guy. My Tetsuya has an eyepatch.

And a cloak that billows out all badass in the wind. Yeah…

-

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Naruto fell to one knee, while he felt blood rush upward from his stomach to his mouth.

_Damnit! How did this happen? _Naruto managed to swear while his head spun in circles. Whether the head was spinning from it being hit so many times or from trying to pinpoint the location of the ninja, he wasn't sure.

Naruto didn't want to die like this. Alone and from some meaningless skirmish with some random shinobi.

_Sensei… Haku…_

Naruto could only look in an infinite time at his vision falling backwards, arms flying up to the sky that reached out between the trees…

_Help…_

The sky that was so white…

-

-

-

**Luv: A Day in a Life of a Bandit**

-

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-

Months passed by after the whole business at Wave Country. Yes, 'business'. One should expect these sorts of things to happen when you're being underhanded. Still, times passed by as the three wandered wherever the hell they went as they pleased, doing small jobs here and there for money. Such is their life, training and perfecting for really no reason while they went and watched where they took themselves.

Today apparently, took them to stupidity.

The three samurai backed into each other while a variety of blades and other sharp implements, all held by a rather dangerous marauding band of this particular part of the country.

"GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY AND THAT WOMAN!" One of them shouted. Description was not required of him, since they were all so ugly and dirty they looked the same anyways.

"But… we don't have either of those…" Tetsuya said with a raised eyebrow. He was promptly kicked.

"Stupid fucker! Don't play smart with us! Just give us the woman and your swords!"

"Hey! You can't take Haku or my sword!" Naruto objected immediately. Another kick.

"You don't have to worry about me Naruto. I can take care of myself." Haku replied as always in her 'look, my eyes are closed therefore I am calm' mode. She looked unamused though, when one of the robbers grabbed the collar of her shirt and dragged her forward to be face to face.

"Oh? Think you're pretty brave, don't you?"

Meanwhile, various others were harassing Naruto and Tetsuya, groping them for whatever valuables they could feel and struggling to remove their swords, despite the resistance.

"Oi! Let go!"

"Get off!"

"Get your arms off my-"

One of the bandits pulled out of Tetsuya's cloak his Volume 94 (Special, mind you, special alternate cover edition) of Super Shiny Spinny Attack, looked at it disinterest for a few second, before tossing it behind his back, leaving it on the dust floor to be threatened by trampling.

Everything ended at that sacrilege.

"You… MOTHER FUCKER!" Tetsuya roared his mighty roar and burst out of the grip of his captors with a flying kick and proceeded to rain mostly holy judgment on his oppressors. Naruto and Haku took this as the signal to break free as well and fight back. From here on out, again the thugs were proven disadvantaged, even with their enemies deciding they weren't worth cutting apart.

One of the men being torn ragged by the three managed to scrabble away for a second, hysterically thinking to himself aloud, "Who the hell are these guys-"

Just as he was about to finish, a hand grabbed the back of the thief's collar, hoisting the man around so he could see a very un-amused single eyeball.

"I demand my right to file a complaint… AGAINST YOUR SUPERIOR!" Tetsuya roared with a fist cocked back at ready.

-

-

-

Naruto heard the wood clack of those bamboo water thingies somewhere in a garden in the background. _Well… that was easy_…

The three of them were resting in front of an old wooden temple that had been long since abandoned in the woods. It was a thrifty and un-flamboyant structure, with none of its wood painted and simple design. The wide-open interior and smooth wood flooring behind the closed front panels used to house the knees of hundreds of worshipers. Now, the abandoned temple served as the headquarters and home for near all the bandits in the area, including those that were trying to rob Naruto and the others.

The sun outside was starting to get a little stifling. All the bandits around regarded the three samurai cautiously. For the samurai themselves, they were more concerned about the sun they were sitting out in the open under. Tetsuya yawned a bit and dropped his single eye slightly, waiting patiently for the panel doors to open. Naruto just glared and felt one of his eyelids twitch in annoyance while he baked underneath. Haku for some reason was asleep. Or her eyes were closed in meditation. You could never be sure with her.

A particular thug, with half of his face purple and bulging, made his way around the walkway ringing the outside of the building and stopped in front of the paneled doors.

"Pwreseting our wreader, Tatzuemon." He managed to blurb out of his malformed lips. Immediately, the panel doors slide away, giving way to an audience with a man, who by comparison looked much better to his minions. He was a simple mossy green shirt and pants made of cotton, and had a pretty well trimmed beard. Nondescript was the word for him. But while cotton clothing and good hair, plus the tinted glasses were something anybody with a decent job could afford, compared to his minions, Tatzuemon looked like a king. Even the way he carried himself placed him on a pedestal above the others. The way he smugly observed the three defying him, the way he leaned on his side on the wood floor, head rested on a raised arm.

"Yo."

The men stood up with accusing fingers.

"You! You bastard!" Naruto stared.

"-ill cultured prick-" Tetsuya's voice came in between.

"-trying to mug us-"

"-kicking a samurai-"

"-forcing your perverted ass on Haku-"

"-MISTREATING MY VALUABLE LITERATURE-"

"-I oughta-"

"-I oughta-"

The two slipped up on their last bit of their shouts, before staring at each other bewildered. Then they bared they're teeth like the competitive males they were.

"You? What gives you the right to assault him?" Tetsuya pointed at his student.

" 'Cause you'd take too long to get anything done! Plus, you're just doing it for you comic!"

"I'm your teacher! And that was a special edition! Do you know how many volume ninety-fours have that cover?"

Jamming their head together, the two samurai growled at each other and glared until one of them would back down. Haku decided to intervene.

"Tatzuemon, as leader of your band, I Haku, demand on behalf of all of us, an apology for your misconduct upon us."

The leader of the band grinned a little at the eloquence. Tetsuya and Naruto gaped a bit.

_"She…she cheated…"_

"…_yeah…"_

"Haku, hmmm…?" Tatzuemon rubbed his bearded jaw at the name for a moment, before a moment of Eureka hit him.

"You mean 'Haku of the Ice'?"

"…Excuse me?"

"You must be the three powerful Samurai that have been making waves around the region with your actions! I heard rumors that the Haku had a Bloodline Limit."

"…I…have a nickname?" Haku replied testingly, hoping she was… sounding famous enough.

"Of course, you guys are starting to make a name for yourselves! I'm guess that the blonde kid over there is Uzumaki Naruto, the Exile of the Leaf."

"No! You got it wrong! It's Uzumaki Naruto, the guy who's going to be the most kick-ass samurai that ever lived!" The blonde kid corrected.

Tatzuemon looked finally at the last of them. "That must make you their teacher, the one who authored Gatoh's destruction. Inukage Tetsuya."

"…What? No really awesome nickname like in Super Shiny Spinny Attack?"

"Heh, please. Like you need something as gaudy as that. Your last name alone is special."

"Oh…" Tetsuya shrugged. He was hoping for something though. Like 'Eye-patched Avenger'.

Tatzuemon stood up and addressed his crowd then, who were starting to get confused. "Oi, don't you get it? We're in the presence of powerful warriors here!"

That wasn't helping. Now they're undefeatable boss was openly commending the hoodlums that just beat them up. Fuck The What.

"Well don't just stand there! Make necessary arrangements to greet our guests!" Tatzuemon barked quickly. The bandits all around immediately scrambled around.

-

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"I must truly apologize for my actions, though you cannot blame any of our men. We never did know your appearance, and it is our profession to rob people." Tatzuemon chuckled feebly, while a metal teapot boiled inside the circle of characters. The rest of the bandits, after lavishly spoiling the samurai, had been dismissed, leaving the bandit king with the swordsmen… and woman.

"Eh, don't worry about it." Tetsuya shrugged. _Oh my god. There's a SSSA Poster here! Shit!_

"Well… just… recognize us next time!" Naruto exitedly replied in an annoyed tone through his Ramen case.

"I will."

"Tatzuemon?" Haku inquired for something at the back of her head.

"Yes?"

"You don't seem to have any notable qualities of a fighter. What brought you to be a leader of a gang of bandits? I know Gatoh didn't know how to fight either, but his group was much larger, so there wasn't as much of a change of being directly attacked…" Haku wondered as she poured a cup of boiling tea. Before the scented water even touched her lips, her hand had already cooled it to a reasonable temperature.

"Nothing really. Before I came, this area was mostly a bunch of feuding men who were trying to figure out how to work it out among themselves. I brought something to them that none of them have, and thus here I am."

"What was that thing?" Naruto asked.

"Organization. I was an honest, working man once. Then I after I was forced into the squalor of poverty, I still kept my financial skills. I merely whipped up the men into order, and since I was the only once who could maintain it, they kept me here in this position."

"Woah… and here I was thinking you had to beat up everybody up to get somewhere high up…" Naruto muttered in awe at the idea.

"Not these days anymore. Politics are in everything. All you need to do is pull strings and set them up to pull others."

"Oi, boss man." The seated column of cloth wrapped Inukage drawled, changing the subject.

"Yes?"

"We can stay here for a night, right?" The column fell on his side and propped up his head with hidden arm, much like Tatzuemon earlier in the day.

"Well…"

"Well?"

"I…er… was hoping you might be able to do something for me… a job, if you wish to call it that… not as a condition for boarding here, I mean! You can stay here if you wish!" Tatzuemon quickly corrected himself, hoping that didn't insinuate anything.

Because, you know, being the only one in the room with three vagrants that want nothing more than a free room for the night, who also have the ability to kill you before you realized you were dead, is a pretty good reason to not piss anybody off.

"Is there money?" Naruto ventured.

"Of course, we can negotiate a price, if you wish."

"But why pay for a job? You have men already." Haku noted. Tatzuemon nodded at the thought but rejected that possibility.

"First. It will be good for my business for people to know that such… illustrious people agreed to work with us. That's just the business bit. Then there's the situation of the job…"

"And what's that?" Tetsuya asked.

"It's a little project of mine… I was always hoping for an opportunity to take revenge against Hanzo, the man who forced me into poverty in the first place. He's a rich merchant that bought out my store, and forced me out. For a while now, I've been having my men taking a extra care to look for Hanzo's properties. He now knows somebody is after him. I picked up information recently that he's passing through this region on a return from a business trip. I'm hoping to settle the score with him… personally, once and for all."

"Kidnapping?" Haku concluded.

"You people are pretty smart!" Tatzuemon chuckled.

"But it's still just a bunch of bandits up against some rich guy and his shitty bodyguards. Why the need for us?" Naruto scrunched up face as he tried to get an answer in from his head.

"Since he knows that somebody is after him, he's probably going to up his security a bit. He'll probably be hiring ninja of some sort. My men possibly can't handle that sort of power. I was almost afraid I'd lose this opportunity. Then fate has it that I would meet you, the very three who are said to be able to fight even the ninja to a standstill. The gods must wish my revenge to be reality."

"Uh, yeah. So you just want us to kidnap somebody. Okay, we'll think about it."

-

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"It's three or four ninja at most. Easy money."

"I'd suppose."

"We haven't taken a job in a while. I'm game."

-

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-

"Okay." Tetsuya stormed back into the room five second after they left.

"Excellent! Let us toast to this!"

"…Okay."

-

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-

After the horrendously fast agreement, drinking, and negotiating while drunk, plus the sleeping, a new day shown for on the aged temple.

Tetsuya was found among to first to trudge around the open-air walkways ringing the temple. He was tired. Damn tired. His head was all… shit and bleh and argh and it really would help if he stopped spinning in place… bah. He hated his demon. It was a fucking naturalist tree-hugger piece of shit that offered no protection from alcohol, despite its position as one of the Tailed-Demons. He wondered if Houkou being a pussy when it came to alcohol actually made him LESS tolerant than he could possibly be.

He really wanted that thing he drank once a while back. It was a sample of an import of something they made Across The Ocean. It was… Cough-ery? That was some good shit, even if he only drank it once and it tasted like crap and he had to buy a second one after he found out you had to put sugar and milk in it.

Ah, fuck it. He might as well half-consciously trip into that cold pool inside the garden, close enough.

Later, Naruto would come out and shout bloody murder at the site of his teacher trying to drown himself. It didn't help when everybody came out to see the spectacle. Tetsuya wasn't exactly pleased. Whether he would live or not, it still wasn't good for his reputation since it would be humiliating for Inukage Tetsuya, amazing… ninja… samurai… killing guy, to die undignified face first in a garden pool.

Naruto was going to die.

-

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-

The sun was rising, and a group of men stood on a dirt road that cleaved its way through the forest. Tetsuya stared down the road for a second before turning back to one of the thugs that guided them here.

Naruto, crouched and leaning on his knees yawned, trying to get his head off the infernal pain that took up the side of his head. Even Haku was stretching her face a little to keep her lids from drooping a little.

"Sooo… why this road again?" Tetsuya mumbled out.

"This is the most direct route for the target to take to get back home. If he wants to get back home as fast as possibly, it will be this road."

"Oh… and we won't be getting any help at all from you guys?"

"We're too spread out."

"That su-AHHH-ckkssss…" Naruto yowled out again tiredly.

"Alright, alright. Might as well get to this. You can go now… Bob the Bandit…"

'Bob', upon that, left.

-

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-

Before they began, Tetsuya led them off the road, and into the forest.

"Ah, Sensei! What are we doing? We should be waiting for that Hanzo guy to come by."

"Don't worry about that. We'll be spending enough time sitting around, so I decided to get you guys to practice a new technique."

Naruto and Haku unanimously echoed, "New technique?"

"I don't exactly know the actual name of this move, so I just call it the 'Five-Second Slash', 'cause well… just watch. You draw from the sheath into an attack, so watch."

Their mentor walked over to a fairly large tree and stood in front of it. Moving an arm through his sleeve, he grasped the handle of his sword while it stayed asleep in its wooden home. Spreading himself out, he laid most of his weight on his front leg. Then all of a sudden he dashed past the side of the tree, a flash of light marking the flying blade as the Inukage slid to a stop behind it, sword drawn.

"One…two…three…four…" Tetsuya called out, while fancily twirling his sword by the handle a few times before dropping his blade back into its protective cover on the count of "Five."

The moment the hilt slammed onto the sheath, a large cracking noise erupted from the tree while it began to fell, a diagonal line marking its trunk as the wooden tower fell between the students and their teacher.

"That was impressive, Tetsuya-sensei."

"Woah! How did you do that? That was awesome, Sensei! I mean… the style and everything! It's perfect for me!"

"It's mostly an application of Chakra to slide across the ground with that speed. Enough force and speed should be enough to cut through anything. For some reason though, it seems like it always takes a few seconds for the guy to die after the initial cut. Usually about five seconds, which why I call it that. Usually, you have enough time to make some awesome pose like in Super Shiny Spinny Attack before they die.

"That's awesome! That's the move for me, Sensei!"

"Remember, it's more flash that substance. Good for handling one guy, but five seconds are more then enough for the rest of a crowd to kill you. So don't particularly try it too much… I do remember this story of a particular swordsman who was able to get more than one guy at once. But then again, he was a freak of nature. Could run through entire crowds and mow them down. We're not that good. Anyways, I want you two to be practicing this while we're waiting. You're probably not good enough to cut through something like trees, so no worry about our target seeing trees mysteriously fall when he passes by. I want you to particularly get this right Naruto. You tend to fight with the sheath in your hand, so you can set up for this move faster. Haku, you keep practicing that thingy you mention you might be able to do with your Bloodline. Got it?"

"Yeah!"

"Yes, Tetsuya-sensei."

-

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**Take One:**

Three pairs of eyes looked through the shadows of a bush, and saw dust rising up from the path ahead of them. Soon enough, he saw a rather large procession of carriages moving towards their location. Lining either side of the escort was a troop of uniformed cavalrymen with spears.

"Wait for it… wait for it… waiiiiiit… NOW!"

Tetsuya, Naruto, and Haku charged through the brush, and stood in front of the line of carriages. With drawn swords, the three of them shouted as unintelligently as they could.

"FREEZE MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"ARRRRRGGGHH!"

"Halt."

Immediately, the calvary lined up in front of the carriage as a defense. "Protect the Lord Gonzo!" "Protect the Daimyo!"

The captain of the horsemen addressed the three samurai as politely as he could to a bunch of bandit scum, "Fools! Do you know who you challenge!"

"…Is it Hanzo, the rich merchant guy?"

"Fools! This caravan seats Lord Gonzo himself! Daimyo of this region, a thousand times more powerful and wealthy than whoever you pitifully target for your villainous whims!"

"Wait a second… is he encouraging us to get this guy instead-OW!" Naruto concluded allowed before his mentor's two fisted fingers rapped the back of his head painfully.

"Sorry! Wrong guy. We'll be going back into our bush now."

"Fools! You reveal your evil schemes aloud to us! Do you think we will let such conspiring criminals free! We will arrest you! Get them!

**Ten Minutes Later:**

Lord Gonzo was kneeling his pudgy body on his knees in front of the three Samurai, while nearby the calvary horses were escaping unseated or with unconscious bodyguards.

"Please! I'll give you anything you want! Just leave me alone!"

"We were trying to do that in the first place when your stupid bodyguards attacked us first!" Naruto shouted at the cowering lord.

"…Some lunch could be nice, though." Haku suggested.

**Take Two (After Lunch):**

Three pairs of eyes stared through the darkness of their bush, awaiting their prey. Soon enough they saw a cloud of dust rise up before them…

"Wait for it… NOW!"

The three of them charged through the bush, yelling and screaming.

"GIVE US HANZO AND DIE!"

"I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Surrender, and we will not harm you."

"Peace be with you."

At the last comment, the three of them gaped. In front of them was a row of clean but simple robes, and shaved heads.

"…Monks…" Tetsuya deadpanned.

"Please, withdraw those terrible weapons of destruction, and tell us, what do you desire of us?"

The three samurai embarrassedly hid their blades. "Umm… you guys wouldn't happen to have some rich guy named Honzo with you?" Naruto attempted.

"No, we do abstain from material desires to promote charity and connection with Buddha."

"Oh… okay. Wrong guy. We won't bother you anymore."

"May you be blessed upon your journey. I hope that you will one day put away those evil instruments of war, and live a life of righteousness again."

The procession of monks moved on, leaving three very confused samurai in the dust.

**Take Three:**

Naruto was the first to jump out at the sounds of hoof beats and a carriage.

"STOP!"

"Naruto, what the hell-"

"You didn't warn us Naruto-"

Tetsuya and Haku found their third comrade holding up a moving Ramen stand.

"W-what do you want? I don't have any money with me!" The stand manager stammered.

"I don't care about you money! I just want to eat here!"

The other two samurai shared their response mentally and verbally, "…"

"Naruto… what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm hungry!"

"We just had lunch a few hours ago." Haku complained.

"Well, I'm hungry AGAIN!"

"…"

"Er… what will you guys be… having?" The man, seeing no way out, hesitantly began firing up his stove.

"One Pork!"

"One Shrimp."

"One Miso."

**Interlude (After the Afternoon Snack):**

"Okay. This isn't working. All we're getting is food." Tetsuya groaned as he sat splayed out in the grass behind the bush.

"This is getting stupid. We can't confront every caravan we see." Naruto muttered, crouched and leaning on his knees while picking at the grass.

"We need someway of finding out whether they have Hanzo or not." Haku concluded while she

"We need somebody to pose for us, so unsuspecting travelers will allow us to question them."

"Someone with eloquence."

"Someone with grace."

"Someone easy on the eyes-"

Naruto and Tetsuya both stopped, and immediately turned to look at Haku, who glared back.

"I may be a girl, but I am wearing **samurai clothing**. Generally people prefer well dressed ladies, and we didn't exactly pack a pink kimono with us."

"Okay." Tetsuya shrugged.

"I see. That will be a problem." Naruto agreed.

Haku began to smile in relief, "Wow, it's not often that you two can agree with me-"

"We'll just have to steal one."

"That's a plan!"

"HEY!"

**The Kimono Plot:**

Two pairs of eyes stared through the darkness of the brush, and one of them was death-glaring the other two eyes, making them cringe slightly while they observed dust getting kicked up into the air ahead of them.

"On my mark… one… two… THREE!"

The three of them burst through the bush.

"STOP! WE DEMAND TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE WOMEN!"

"WE WANT YOUR GIRLS!"

"Please, don't mind us, ignore them, they're insane."

It seemed like this group of carriages were not defended, as the drivers immediately reeled back in fear at the sight of the three dangerous bandits. Jumping off, the drivers escaped into the woods, leaving the passengers helpless in their carts.

"Wow… that was easy." Tetsuya noted, as he sheathed his sword. Moving to one of the wagons, he threw the tarp off the back of one, revealing a group of mistresses, dressed in colorful kimonos and cowering among their closets of… whatever women carry with them.

"Ah ha! I knew it! Women always hang out where there are shiny things! You there women! I demand you remove your clothing and give them to me!"

Tetsuya unfortunately, worded his sentence incorrectly.

"Ah! Rapists!"

"Perverts!"

"Leave us alone!"

Here, it will be noted the time when women carrying around tons of stuff helps. Like for instance, make up. They then have a wood box they can throw to defend themselves against unruly, armed men demanding them to strip.

"Ah! Wait! I'm not here for your bodies, I just want your clothes-"

Too late, Tetsuya was ejected from the back of the carriage with a variety of flying women's items.

Haku sighed. But she decided since she wanted her mentor to live, she had to do something about the situation. The mistresses stopped at the sight of the female bandit entering their cabin politely.

"Um, excuse me, but you see…"

**After… an eternity of women giggling and dressing up and shit later…**

"So, what do you think?" Haku asked her friends as she spun around with her unbound hair and green and blue kimono.

But really, Haku was now like…

"…Damn…" Was all Naruto could say.

"Eh…" Tetsuya measure her with a thumb while he lay on his side, "… one out of ten, since you make me think of this artist freak that liked to blow things up from Earth Country. The chick was actually a man, and I had nightmares for days."

Haku's face raised an eyebrow, "I guess that's a thumbs up from both of you."

"Pretty much. Anyways, here's the plan-"

**Take Four:**

A rich young man spied out of the slot that was his viewing space, and saw a collapsed girl lying prone on the side of the road. In this heat, surely she would die while wearing those heavy robes.

Actually, they were pretty light, but the young man was a pervert and his brain was subconsciously finding excuses for how to remove the women of those 'restricting' clothes.

"Stop!" he cried out. He rushed out to the poor woman's side and rested her on one knee.

(Haku was really damn pissed at being a damsel in distress at this point, but she was a better actress than expected.)

"Are you alright?"

"…W...water…"

"Get some water!"

After nursing the woman to health, she stood shakily, with the help of the young gentleman.

"What is your name, miss?"

"…Haku."

"What a pretty name."

"And what is yours?"

"Goemon…"

"Is there… no one else with you?"

_Oh, a fast mover, eh?_

"No one but us! You must have traveled a long way, please let me take you the rest of the way."

"No, no… I think I can manage the rest of the way by myself."

"Please! Let me help you, I insist!" Goemon grabbed Haku by both her shoulders and made her look into his sexy eyes. With any luck he may be only seconds away from a score-

Haku kicked him in the nuts. Naruto and Tetsuya also burst out of the brush.

"AGGGH! DON'T TOUCH HAKU YOU BASTARD!"

"Vengeance! RWAAR!"

**Take Five:**

"So miss, what's your name?" The suspicious man with a fairly large carriage behind him, asked.

"Haku." She managed to reply after drinking her cup of water, "…May I know yours?

"That's not important. Say, you look like you're all alone. Running away from a boring life?"

_Oh please. From day one I've been living on the edge. First being an orphan and starving, then risking my life as a samurai, and now acting like some sort of breathless, helpless waif._

"Uh… yes?"

"I see… say, you're a pretty young thing. How 'bout making some easy money? All you have to do…" He started tracing the outline of her thigh through the cloth with a finger.

Haku punched him in the face. Naruto and Tetsuya also burst out of the bush.

"YOU CHEAP PERVERT! I'LL CAVE YOUR BRAIN IN!"

"LOWLY STUDENT OF JIRAIYA! I SHALL SMITE YOUR EXSISTENCE FROM THIS PLANET!"

**After Takes Six to Nine:**

The day was setting, and Haku laid defeated on the grassy soil behind the bush. Next to her, Tetsuya tried to coax her to action.

Still, the samurai woman managed to murmur out, "I… can't… drink another cup of water…"

"Come on woman! Drink! Damnit! DRINK! We need you!"

"I… refuse…"

"Argh! Insubordination! You're so mean! Even Wretched Artist Xilas (Chapter 492, Volume 157) was never this bad!"

Naruto still continued to sweat and attempt to cleave the tree with his new technique as he watched the spectacle before him.

"Man… this job sucks."

-

-

-

Next Chapter: Leaf Jounin Kurenai, and her three students take their first C-Class mission ever. Guarding a rich Merchant seems like no sweat! But who is that mysterious girl they find on the road?

A/N: Yeah, I'm slow this time. I've been busy. Plus I've been getting into this Ratchet and Clank, of which I recently got the entire series. Either way, I should be angry at myself for this. I really wanted to do this Arc for a while, but I've been too lazy to do so. Either way, enjoy.


	9. Luv! : They Call This a CClass Mission

"Hello, this is the mandatory post-chapter skit inputted by many authors in order to express how incredibly humorous/cute/retarded they are. Enjoy." Person WMA said.

Tetsuya walked into the page then, repeating a mantra of "OMG. SUGAR. OMG. SUGAR. OMG. SUGAR. OMG. SUGAR."

Haku passed by as well, saying "This is the part of the skit where one is supposed to use basic ASCII notations and stolen Japanese phrases in order to enhance the cuteness of the scenario. _Baka. Kawaii. –chan/kun/sama/baka. LOL. T.T. >.>. n.n u.u O.o u.u0._

Naruto's turn was uttered by, "This is the part where one character complains of his condition in the story to enhance the humor the scenario, coupled by a few basic ASCII notations. I dislike being bled to death. Oo.

Person WMA returned then, saying "This is the part where I return to perform some random act of destruction in order to reveal my amazing author powers and show how funny I am. Enjoy."

With that, the author pulled out a wooden mallet and rammed it upwards into Naruto's lower jaw, sending him into orbit.

**Well! THAT WAS THE SKIT! LOL! ENJOAY THE STORY! nn!11!1!**

-

-

-

**Luv: They call this a "C-Class Mission"**

**-**

**-**

**-**

The four of them met in the morning where they always did. It was an intersection in the streets that was an even distance from all members of the squad, a lamppost made for an excellent landmark, and it had a little teashop place nearby to celebrate the beginning of a new day and have breaks every once while.

Kurenai, the instructor and earliest of the four sighed at the memory. There used to be a little teashop place. Then the invasion came. Apparently one of Orochimaru's damn summoned snakes decided to slide its full hundreds of tons of weight over the top of the shop. After the dust settled, the owners of the shop decided it was an opportunity to move their business to a better location. Now, there were no more snacks.

_It could have been worse…_Kurenai easily objected. Worse could have been Konoha falling to the combined assault of an envious Hidden Village of Sand and an ambitious Hidden Village of Sound. It was a near miracle the village managed to repel the invasion.

But now, Konoha had lost their leader, Sandaime Hokage in battle, and the village struggled in its ruined state to still keep a strong face in the eyes of their shinobi competition.

Which is why Kurenai waited for her students to arrive.

"Um… Good morning… Kurenai-sensei…?" A rather quiet voice greeted cautiously. The greeted Jounin, who was leaning against a decapitated lamppost, turned her head with a welcome smile to the second earliest member of their group.

Hyuuga Hinata was quiet, hard working, and polite. She also was shy, and because of the set in stone, pseudo-banishment by her noble family, she generally sealed herself into a state of paranoid cautiousness. Poor girl, really. After failing to live up to the pedestal high expectations, she lost self-confidence, always expecting herself to fail something or do something wrong. The girl approached, ever signified by her family inherited near white pupils and obsession with pressing her fingers together.

"Morning Hinata. I hope you're ready for the missions today."

"O-of course!" Hinata managed to reply, somewhere trapped between a stammer and a stutter. If there ever was a difference.

"Hinata. Sensei." Came the curt, abrupt greeting that came not too long after. That is, if Aburame Shino was actually greeting them, and not just noting their existence as fact. The boy had slightly similar temperaments to Hinata, but for differing reasons. Simply put, Shino was pretty damn emotionless. He rarely said anything, and he never wasted more words than necessary. Behind the pair of round sunglasses and high collar jacket that covered his mouth, one really wondered if the guy had a soul. Then again, with his contracted insects infesting his body and feeding on his chakra, it wouldn't be hard to understand the guy was having enough trouble getting the energy to keep his life, much less have one.

"Hello, Shino…" Hinata mumbled out, and Kurenai merely nodded. After spending a near whole year with the guy, all they expected in reciprocation was Shino neatly walking over and standing by them.

Much later, their last member arrived from the surviving rooftops of the village with a hearty cry and a following bark, "Here I am guys!"

"Kiba! You're late!" Kurenai called out, slightly irritated.

Unlike Hinata and Shino, Inuzuka Kiba had more than enough attitude and vibrancy to make up for his teammates. He was a jokester, machoist, loud, boisterous, and a show off if he was on a really good day. Even if nobody agreed with his antics, he didn't care. His white ninja dog companion, Akamaru always supported him with helpful yips and barks.

And of course, for those of you in doubt, I speak for both Kiba and myself: Ninja dogs are badass. Shut up.

"Well… I am sorry for being late, Sensei! But better late than never, right?" Kiba grinned. Kurenai sighed, but decided to let it go.

"Good Morning Kiba…"

"Inuzuka Kiba."

"Yeah! You guys both made it! Great! With all of Team Eight assembled, we'll be sure to kick more ass and complete more missions than all those other losers, like those show offs in Team Seven!"

Akamaru barked his agreement.

"Kiba, that's enough. Now that we're all here, we should get our mission." Kurenai announced to her team first and foremost. This was met by confusion by two of her students. Shino usually never commented, either not caring or understanding why before the other two.

"S-so soon, Kurenai-sensei?"

"The hell! We just fought off those pricks from Sound and Sand. Our village isn't ready for that!"

"Our village has to be, whether it's ready or not." Kurenai firmly stamped down her subordinates objections. Hinata was already apologizing, but Kiba turned to Shino for further human support.

"You agree, right Shino? It's too soon."

"With Kurenai. Our village has to keep up with the missions, or Konoha will look weak, which will scare off customers and hurt our economy more."

Kiba's fervor immediately died in front of the simple response. Kurenai picked up from here, "It's tough, but we all need to pull more weight, now that we're trying to recover from this attack. This means more missions and higher ranking ones, so you better be ready for today."

The last part of the Jounin instructor's speech changed Kiba's outlook in a flash. "God damn! Yes! I can finally show how great I am with a mission that matches my skill! No more shitty garbage man D-ranks for us, Akamaru!"

The said nin-dog barked again in delight and chased after his master who led the way to the mission center. Shino followed after, with a quick nod of actual acknowledgement to Hinata and Kurenai.

As the Hyuuga was about to leave, she heard her teacher call out in slight concern. "Hinata."

"Um… yes?"

Kurenai smiled, "You didn't need to apologize to agreeing with Kiba. Don't be afraid to object, I'll listen."

"…Okay…?" Hinata ventured. She was kind of confused as hell what **that** meant. She voiced her opinions, right? So what's the problem?

-

-

-

At the mission center (or at least the half of it that survived, which was luckily the important half), there was an uncomfortable silence, as the four ninja awaited their mission.

In front of them was a large desk that doled out mission scrolls with assistance from Chuunins, but the Hokage always decided with mission was best. But now the wise old man would never sit in that great chair for him again. All it did was painfully stick the question back into the minds of each of the ninja.

Who was going to be the next Hokage? How long would they last without a Hokage? How long was Konoha going to last? Would it even last?

"Are all members of Team 8 present?" A voice called out suddenly. It belonged to and elderly man, who was also accompanied by a woman of the same age. Both of them for the longest time were the Hokage's advisors. Now they were for the moment, the Hokage's substitutes.

"All members are accounted for." Team 8's ranking officer answered. The two advisors nodded their acceptance.

"Given the situation, we have an agreement that all current graduated Genin teams will be taking more C-Class missions. Is this acceptable?"

While Kurenai gave her full assurances of her teams ability and capacity, somewhere in the background, Shino was silent, Kiba was acting pretty damn pleased, and Hinata for the most part, decided that if Kurenai-sensei said so, she might as well.

"That said, we have a mission available for Team 8, who is currently the only team present here. It is an escort mission. Will you accept?"

By then, Kiba's excitement got ahead of him, "Of course! Who the hell ya think we are? We're not about to be upstaged by those Team 7 show offs!"

"That's enough." Shino noted. Kiba immediately stopped. Again, Shino saying anything usually means it.

"If that is the case, would the client please present himself?"

A sliding door opened in the side of the chamber, and everyone turned to look.

Appearing through the door was a man in a rather bright robe. He was pretty well built, chiseled not like a Greek but more as a rock, no, a mountain. The man had muscle simply put. Bulging from his arms, making up his neck, making that wide strong jaw, etc. His hair was graying, but he still looked healthy enough, plus he had a pretty awesome long beard.

Kiba nudged Hinata with his elbow, "Hey, Hina. The guy looks pretty damn loaded. You think he's going to give us a huge bonus?"

"Um… well…"

The man's loud voice cut in before the white-eyed girl could figure out a satisfactory answer. "So you kids are the ones who're gonna look after old me, huh?"

The elder male advisor explained the situation. "This is the client you will be protecting, team eight. His name is Hanzo. He is on a return trip from a business negotiation and stopped here to hire extra protection for the remainder of the trip until he reaches his home city."

"Hanzo, huh?" Kurenai mused to herself as she watched the man for a second. She turned back to her team, "Team 8 I want you packed and ready for the trip by afternoon. Meet at the west gate."

-

-

-

"So, Hina, what do you think?" Kiba excitedly confided with the Hyuuga, knocking her out of her reverie with a surprised look. The three students sat on stone benches that faced the opening west gate that was making way for their departure. Shino was aloof as always, and Akamaru was resting on his owner's lap.

"Huh?"

"You know, about this mission! C-Class man! Our first C-Class! Finally!"

"But… we got it because, um, the village is in trouble… right?"

Kiba made a face of thought, and Hinata was suddenly afraid she offended him.

"Well… I suppose it's not exactly nice to think we got in this circumstance, true. Right Akamaru?"

Bark as always.

"Still, I wonder if it's going to be any exciting. I'm hoping for some action. You know, those guys in Team Seven are always talking about how their first C-Class turned into a pretty big B to A rank. Show offs…"

"I suppose…"

Kiba turned to Shino, "Hey, what do you think? Ready to kick some ass?"

"Perhaps. But it is better to hope for the best."

"What? And let that pinky and brooding jerk hog the glory?"

"They are just exaggerating. Official reports say that they simply came at the right time. Team seven arrived in a middle of a feud which resulted in both threats eliminating each other."

"Hmmm… but that pinky is always going on about how her "**boyfriend"** fought off a samurai."

"Samurai?" Hinata questioned aloud. Kiba nodded.

"Yeah. She makes it sound like some sort of genius with a sword. Bah! I bet I could kick that Samurai's ass faster than that Uchiha show off."

Kurenai came in just then, a sly smile on her face, "Kiba, perhaps you shouldn't ask for so much. Hanzo might think you'd purposely look for trouble."

Beside her, their client shrugged.

"Hey! I'm not like that!"

The old man laughed loudly at that, much to the Inuzuka's disdain. "Don't worry about it. I'm putting a hundred percent of my trust in you guys! Now I'd rather prefer going home as soon as possible, but don't feel like I'm rushing you guys!"

Hinata shook her head furiously, "No you're not…"

"Right then. Let's go to my transportation then…"

-

-

-

Kiba was pretty outright pissed. The man had a fucking carriage, but had room for hardly more than one and a half. Hanzo decided to take up both one and the half, leaving the whole of team 8 to walk beside the carriage and keep a look out.

The guy should have at least let Hina in! She's fucking Hina! She's entirely too nice to just be left out walking around! ARGH!

While the man and his best friend fumed about the situation, Hinata, who strayed on the opposite side of the horse drawn box, seemed quite fine. Actually, she was more curious about the cause of their employment, rather than their walking.

"Um… Hanzo-san?"

The man's head poked through cloth curtain that partitioned his window. "Yes?"

"…Well… I was just wondering… why did you need to hire us?"

Luckily, before the poor girl started thinking she did something wrong again, Hanzo just shrugged and explained. "I have businesses everywhere. But it seems that around this region, there's been a group of bandits that have been attacking my properties around here with some careful attention. I think somebody has a something against me. Anyways, now that I'm personally going through here, I should take extra care of myself around here."

"Don't worry, Hanzo. We'll get you home safely." Kurenai reassured her escort, who felt a little relieved from the enthusiasm, especially Kiba's "Damn straight!" from the other side of the carriage. Shino just watched the entire thing indifferently from a little distance away.

For the longest time, things stayed pretty much nondescript. Hinata was rather happy the mission was going so smoothly, but Kiba was starting to wonder if there actually was going to be any action. Bah.

"My insects detect something up ahead." Shino suddenly called out. Kiba turned back in disbelief, before Akamaru agreed, barking something to Kiba about him smelling something.

"What? Really, Akamaru?"

"Um… what is it?" Hinata asked.

"There is a presence up ahead." Shino put simply.

"Yeah! Somebody to kick ass finally!"

"Don't ask for trouble, Kiba. It could be a civilian." Kurenai lectured easily, stopping Kiba once more in his tracks.

The idea of the civilian quickly was losing its hold, as the presence kept its same position on the road, even as they approached. Through the afternoon sun and heated dust, they could see a figure lying collapsed on the road more and more clearly.

By then, Hanzo had poked his head through the partition again to see as well, "It's a girl?"

_Odd. I thought there was more than one… _Shino's brows furrowed just by the slightest at this gross miscalculation.

Hanzo seemed to pity the girl's ragged breaths as the heat collected on her kimono. "We shouldn't just leave her like this, right? Stop!"

The merchant's transport stopped at that word, and the man himself stepped out quickly got down to prop the girl up. Kurenai stood by protectively.

The girl only looked maybe only a few years older than the genin students, and was quite beautiful with her dark shining hair and smooth skin. Even though her robes were covered in dust, its quality still shone through. It felt like a fairy tale situation, the perfect looking innocent maiden just so happening to appear on the road in need of saving.

"Oi, girl! Are you hurt? Are you alright?"

The girl tried to breath in to say something, but only coughed rather loudly, while making a sound that sounded suspiciously like "water, water".

That sort of request was easily obtained, and everyone sort of gathered around to watch Hanzo help the girl half splutter and half gulp down the liquid.

"Hey girl, what are you doing out here?" Hanzo asked.

The girl took a few moments to gather herself before beginning, "I was traveling to a relative's home of mine to pay a visit." She gave a sheepish chuckle, "I didn't expect the heat to be so strong."

As Hanzo helped the girl stand up, he prodded on, "So, where are you going? Perhaps if we are headed in the same direction, I could take you part of the way."

"Oh, no. You already helped me enough. I think I can make it on my own from here."

"Really? Is there really nothing more I can do for you?"

The girl shrugged, "If you really insist, we can know each other's name. I am Haku." She said, bringing a hand to her chest.

Hanzo pretty much voiced Kiba's thought aloud, "What a pretty name, suits you perfectly."

"And may I know yours?"

"My name is Hanzo."

"Really? Hanzo… it suits you."

Hanzo laughed at that, "Don't say too much, or my wife might get jealous."

Haku shared in with the joke, but continued, "It's true though… Hanzo…"

As the girl began to speak up again, Kurenai noticed a difference in the tone of voice. Something suddenly seemed to change.

"… sounds like a name … _that's worth a lot of money._"

And that smile was way too evil to be meant nicely.

Kurenai was already grabbing the back of Hanzo's collar, "Get back! It's a trap!"

Haku seemed shocked by the realization, before lunging forward, a frosty blue weapon suddenly appearing in her hand as she stabbed it sideways through Hanzo's robes in a rather weak attempt to get her target back. As Jounin continued to pull, the sword easily tore back out of the robes.

Immediately, the three genin had put themselves between the offending girl and their client.

"Damn… and it had to be the chick…" Kiba was muttering. Hinata had the situation more in grasp though.

"Who…who are you?"

The girl stood up from her crouch, gently holding her sword in one hand. "Haku, a samurai. I have been employed to capture Hanzo."

With that, Haku's free hand pulled her green-blue kimono apart and let it drop, revealing underneath darker looser robes of approximately the same color and obviously with the intent of use for combat.

"Yeah, well I'd like to see you try, Haku-_chan_, because you're up against the whole of Team Eight!" Kiba sneered.

Hanzo was practically sweating at the ensuing fight already, and feebly groped for the door to his carriage. "I'd… think I'd better hide in here while you guys handle this."

Finally grabbing onto the sliding panel, he pulled it open and saw something else very wrong.

A blonde boy in an orange haori was already draped across Hanzo's seat lazily, a long katana held standing on the ground with one hand.

The boy grinned like a fox on the hunt, "Yo."

Hanzo shrieked while Kurenai slammed the door shut as the boy pulled his sword free. A flash of light and the entire side of the carriage split in two from an invisible slash. The attention of the genin turned in shock as they also witnessed the carriage splinter and fly into oblivion, while sword slices rang through the air. Soon enough the axle split, and the harness broke free, loosing the terrified horses. Amongst the open-air ruins, the blonde boy smugly re-sheathed the katana into its cover he held in one hand.

"Uzumaki Naruto. I'm here to get that old geezer."

"Another one." Shino noted, but then made a noise similar to a gasp, while looking at Kurenai. The jounin saw that action, and immediately spun around to face behind her with a kunai. Her weapon sparked in contact with a stopped katana, before its wielder lightly stepped away. The blocked attack came from a man older than the other two samurai, a man with rough long hair, an eye patch and a cloak with a single sleeve attached to one side.

"This is funny. At least you proved that ninja jounin at least have some hindsight. Inukage Tetsuya. I've waited far too long for this moment…" The third samurai grinned. The grin dropped right after as he noticed something.

"Naruto…"

"What?"

"It's Leaf ninja again."

"So?"

"It's getting annoying. Every time we take a big job, it's always about Leaf ninja. I'm blaming you."

"S-shut up sensei! We have something more important to do!"

"Inukage Tetsuya… you mean the same one related to that Gatoh incident?" Kurenai accused.

"Yeah. So what about it?"

"Damnit… these guys are B-Rank criminals." The jounin instructor called back to her surprised students.

"B-B Rank?" Hinata managed to say. This was definitely not in her itinerary.

"So what? It's not like it was any easier to swallow when we found out we wouldn't get that OVA about Gray Ranger's lost childhood." Tetsuya called out.

"Sensei! Shut up about your stupid comics already!"

"You shut up! Anyways Haku, Naruto. Go have fun with the little kids. I want to fight the Jounin."

"Hinata, Kiba, Shino. Secure Hanzo. I'll leave the details to you!" With that Kurenai rushed towards the eldest Samurai, hands folding over and over in preparation for an attack.

"Let's go Akamaru! I'm going to kick your ass, blondie!" Kiba rushed towards Naruto then, dog in tow. The blonde samurai merely made a large swiping motion with his weapon, the resulting force more than enough to kick half the wood debris around him towards the Inuzuka. Kiba himself stifled his surprised and managed to jump out of the way, and rolled behind another piece of wreckage. Right after Naruto was already jumping over the top of it and rushing towards Kiba, naked sword and empty sheath in either hand, while Kiba jerked and dodged out of the way, scraping away from blows with a Kunai. Below Akamaru provided distraction as the dog barked and gripped onto the back of the samurai's leg with his teeth, forcing Naruto away in pain long enough for Kiba to return some of his own attacks.

Hinata and Shino together in fact were double teaming Haku, but the samurai with her ice sword seemed to just be dancing around each attack, sliding in wide circles to get between them and Hanzo, and to strike at their backs. She for the most part, was more intelligent than try to take on two people at once, and was more than willing to wait for Naruto or her teacher to finish their own fights first.

Tetsuya sliced horizontally at Kurenai's waist, not sure what she was planning, not really wanting to know what it was, and more than confident he would beat it anyways. It came as a total surprise to see the ninja's form fade and fall apart into a mass of flower petals.

"Kawarimi?" Tetsuya raised an eyebrow. There was a sound of something bursting through the ground behind him, the sounds of creaking wood. In a few short moments Tetsuya found himself crushed against a tree, several branches pining his body against the trunk.

"The fuck is this, eh?" The samurai muttered. Unknown to the warrior though, Kurenai was emerging from the tree like a mythical nymph, kunai in had, ready to stab the man in the head.

Tetsuya snorted.

In a flash, the sword again clashed with Kurenai's shorter blade. The tree was no longer there. Kurenai was no longer hovering above the once trapped samurai, but more realistically planted, both feet, on the ground beside him.

"W-what?"

"A Genjutsu user, ah? Pitiful. I can See through those cheap illusions, no sweat. What a loser."

With that, the samurai flung the jounin off him, causing her to smash against a tree by the path. Looking up, Kurenai looked in shock at the spinning pile of cloth flying through the air towards her. By the time the blade slashed through her and the tree behind her, the woman had already disappeared again. To a normal human's vision anyways. Tetsuya merely spun around and chased after Kurenai who had dodged away like he never even saw the illusion.

_This is bad. My best techniques aren't effective on this guy. An expert in close range combat. He'll definitely out pace me at this rate._

"Fuck!" Kiba shouted from somewhere. Naruto was having a blast. The doggie boy was leaving too many openings, and Naruto was easily making little cuts here and there, humiliatingly tearing Kiba's jacket to pieces.

"Kiba!" Hinata shouted in concern. Haku took this chance at the turned head of the Kunoichi. Dashing forward, she lanced out with her blue sword of hers. The attack was only dodged at last minute, but the female samurai was fast enough on her feet. A quick spin and Haku got herself enough room to smash a foot into Hinata's chest, launching the girl off her feet and causing her to slide along the ground.

Kurenai might have been a jounin on a C-Class mission, sure. But she sure as hell wasn't a genius with a magical eyeball that was pitted only against one powerful enemy.

"Hinata-" Kurenai blocked a blow from Tetsuya katana before forcing the sword back up and swiping at the man's exposed stomach. Her aim was slightly out of touch, as the blade passed through abundant cloth, but not the body underneath. Tetsuya still backed up a bit slightly over cautious and more than willing to give the woman her room. Said women picked up her female student and set her next to Hanzo.

"K-Kurenai-sensei?"

"We can't handle them like this. I want to you take Hanzo and run. We'll catch up with you later."

"But I can't leave you!"

"Hanzo is more important right now-"

Another clash. Hinata was kind enough to slide beside her teacher to take advantage of the opening to force Tetsuya away as he retreated from the palm thrust.

"Go! Now!"

"Y-yes!"

With that Hinata grabbed Hanzo and dove into the shrubbery by the side of the road.

"You're not getting away-" Tetsuya started as he began to pursue. Kurenai immediately intercepted him, move for move, keeping herself between the shrubs and Tetsuya, even while he pitifully tried to get around the woman.

"Geez! Out of the way woman!" Tetsuya merely roared, slashing over and over at the woman, who matched him blow for blow, "Bah! Fine! Naruto! Go get them! You're the fastest!"

"Hai sensei!" Naruto shouted back. Before Kiba could grab him, the blonde samurai took a single leap backwards, spanning over the entire road, before another launched him into the boughs of the trees.

"Hey, Haku!"

"Yes, Tetsuya-sensei?"

"You can handle those two boys, right?"

"If even Naruto can handle the one with the dog, I would say it's more like one and a half."

"Okay."

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-

The two of them rushed through the darkness of the woods. Even here, the sun could do little more than pierce the blackness and color the ground slightly in little leaf patterns here and there.

"Do you know where to go, Hinata?" Hanzo managed to say between his hard breathes. It was lucky he was at least fit enough to run like this.

As for Hinata that question made her do the proverbial "Oh SHIT" in her head. She didn't really think about what to do except run the hell away. Run away! How cowardly! Now her friends could be out dying while she runs with Hanzo and saves her pitiful self.

But back to the question.

"I-I don't know… I… I think we should hide… Maybe… um…" Hinata was starting to panic. No plan, comrades dying, possibility of getting lost, cut off from reinforcements, family, etc…

"Good plan. I should be pretty easy to hide in a place like this… And those guys aren't ninja, for sure." Hanzo assured. Hinata wasn't so sure, but probably much better than any other **genius** idea she could come up with.

Hanzo suddenly gave a shriek of pain before collapsing to his knees, grabbing at a horrified Hinata and her jacket.

"Hanzo? What's happening!"

"My legs… they're here!" Hanzo managed to gasp. His lower legs were cut half way through, slicing cleanly through the muscles from an invisible attack.

Hinata's head jerked back up to look past her injured client. Up ahead a fair distance away was the shape of the blonde and orange samurai boy glowing in the sunlight.

"Well that makes things easier, doesn't it! No more running around, kunoichi." The boy grinned as he approached.

Hinata quickly set down her injured charge, whispering to him to stay down. Right after, she stood was defiantly as she could, palms open in her family's opening stance.

"S-Stay back!"

"Or you'll _what?_"

The ferocity of the statement made the Hyuuga shrivel back slightly.

"So, why don't you be a nice little ninja and _run away like the little coward your kind is supposed to be!" _The blonde emphasized with his thumb prying loose his blade, opening a rectangle of reflected light from the exposed metal

The air was swamped with the boy's aura of his willingness and his ability to kill. Hinata could feel herself panting at the feeling. The feeling lessened slightly as the boy spoke once more, slightly softer but no less serious.

"You look like a nice girl, not the type at all to get mixed up with all this ninja business and killing. You should quit while you're ahead… don't give me a reason to fight you."

"I…I can't quit my mission!" Hinata struggled out as best she could. Weak she may have been, yes, but at least she'd be dead being useful instead of alive and failing everybody again.

Naruto sighed heavily. "Just for the mission? God, what a tool…" With his sheathed weapon in his left hand, he swung it around a few times, letting the long cable attached to it wind around his wrist instead of its usual use of being wound around his back. There was a bright flash of light that blinded Hinata for a moment as the sword caught the sun again while it was drawn, before the glare disappeared, along with the boy.

With the disappearance of the samurai, Hinata immediately brought her hands together, flipping them through a sequence of seals she practiced well.

"Byakugan!"

Veins enlarged around her sides of her eyes, while her cream colored irises brightened into an impossibly stretched white expanse against white. Now, the ninja was granted her family's perfect vision, able to see everything in all directions.

Her Bloodlimit served immediately, as she saw the blonde samurai dive down towards her from above. Jerking to the side, the ninja watched the blade dive past her, along with the rest of the boy in slow motion. She thrust her palm at the samurai's upsidedown right lung, perfectly visible with all the chakra lines running around it with her enhance sight. Before she knew it, her palm contacted the wood sheath in the blonde's other hand, who quickly intercepted the blow. Pushing off from her, the samurai righted himself in the air and landed on his feet with both of them facing each other. Hanzo was lying between them.

Hinata panicked slightly, seeing her client open to attack.

"Don't worry ninja." Hinata looked at the samurai in confusion. "I don't play cheap tricks like you ninja. I'll kill you first, and then take the old geezer. That's my promise, on the honor of a samurai." He sarcastically toned out.

_Am…am I that obvious?_

The orange form dark under the shadows rushed at the ninja that moment. Hinata ducked under the blade's swing at her neck, only for her duck to turn into a staggering blow in the stomach when a near invisible steel braced sheath flew out in the darkness from behind the boy's sideways back and slammed home into her guts. She was what the hell was wrong with her while she coughed out a spittle filled choke of air. She should have seen that coming, dark or not, behind the back or not. She was a Hyuuga with her Byakugan on, for God's sake! What would her father think right now-

She yelped in pain while her arms raised above her head in defense, while the blunter steel of the samurai's two handheld weapons cracked into it. 'This was no time to be distracted by anything', Hinata had to remind herself, before throwing the sheath away from her and palming forward furiously at the boy's torso, each attack narrowly missed by an obviously confused lemon-top, as he was wondering what the hell she was trying to accomplish by slapping him to death. He didn't want to know. It probably made his head swell and explode if it hit-

The samurai repeated the ninja's commentary about not being distracted as the Hyuuga managed to find an opening and smash her palm straight on into his shoulder. The orange form made a few defending swipes with his sword, making the kunoichi back up protectively. That gave Naruto a few moments to fall to a knee and clutch his shoulder.

_Damnit… what was that attack? I can hardly move this anymore! It hurts! _"Fucking ninja…" He growled. The dull white body of the ninja in the dark shrunk back slightly from the sound of that. Naruto increased his fervor, running along low to the ground with a sword in hand. He was quick enough to slash at the girl's leg, tearing dark cloth to reveal mingled red and creamy white as the girl cried out in pain. Blocking out the noise, he rose up with a elbow rising backwards with enough force to smash into the kunoichi's face, knocking her backward with a dull groan into the back of a tree.

Hinata's vision swam a little, which was a lot worse with her Bloodlimit on, now that her vision was swimming in 360. She had a strange notion to puke in the back of her head. She quickly dismissed that as she gasped and jerked her head to the side, avoiding a slash that cut halfway through the tree she was up against at her head region. Sliding down, she struck at the ninja's legs but the samurai knocked the thrust off course again with his blunt sword cover. Hinata merely swung back up with her other hand at the orange swordsman's chest. It was too, blocked narrowly with the cover being slammed into his chest by her palm. The samurai quickly reacted, by bringing his sword between them and drawing it quickly across her neck. Her other hand quickly stopped this too, trapping her hand on his wrist and bringing them both at a deadlock of sorts.

Naruto cried out in frustration before throwing all his weight at Hinata, bringing them both to the ground, samurai on top. Naruto quickly drew up, weapon in hand and thrust down on the ninja, who ducked her head to the side to avoid the silver blade that stabbed into the ground beside her. Right after, a fist wrapped around a wood sheath smashed into the side of her face, knocking her head back straight for the blade to stab down again correctly. Hinata brought both her hands up to stop the blow above her head at the boy's wrists. The two struggled for a moment, keeping the sword up from impaling the kunoichi in the face. Naruto smacked her across the face again to break her, but her grip held. Instead all he got was an unexpected foot rising up from behind him as Hinata kicked up. Catching the samurai in the back of the head, the boy was stunned long enough for Hinata to throw him off her and roll away. Naruto was fast though, and quickly recovered. Grabbing his sword, he lunged out from the ground sloppily at Hinata's back, managing to split her back and staining her jacket. She dry sobbed out her pain momentarily, before getting herself up at the knees, hugging her sides as best she could while glaring at the samurai. Naruto got to his own knees slowly.

"Get up… Let's stop wasting time and finish this in one go." He spat out, before sheathing his sword again and spreading himself down low to the ground, coldly waiting for the kunoichi's moment to be ready herself. Slowly, the panting ninja got to her feet, still holding a hand to her side to administer to her back as well as she could.

_I can do this…_

One step, then another, before it turned into a dash that left blood at every step, while her arms and eyes was raised to strike him down.

One stride, then another, and he was surging down the forest floor to meet her, sword at his sword to cut her in two.

In tandem yells, Naruto and Hinata met with a sound of chakra exploding into the air and a flash of light. The kunoichi and the samurai slid to a stop and did not look back at each other, while their backs faced each other at a distance.

Naruto's right lung and side of his heart collapsed.

Coughing out a copious amount of blood, Naruto stared wide-eyed at the red mess at his feet, before realizing what had happened.

"DAMNIT!"

The samurai fell to his knees, his mouth still dripping blood. Driving his sword into the ground, Naruto did what he could to stay upright, before his balance gave out, and he fell backwards on his knees. His eyes dulled at his last sight of himself grasping for the sky that was so white…

"Sen-sei… Haku…" He managed to whisper out before falling completely.

He didn't get up.

Hinata herself was gasping and back to holding her side while she stared at what she just did.

The boy was dead.

She killed him.

The boy was dead.

He was the same age as her.

He was a family to those other two, and she just tore it in two.

The boy was dead.

Boy, did she feel dizzy.

Just as she backed up against the tree, she heard out of the way Hanzo's voice. "K-kunoichi? Is it safe?"

She had almost forgotten about him. Turning to face the man, she gave a wary smile as her Byakugan disappeared into her regular colorless pupils. "I-it's over… I think we should get-"

Five seconds later, her side erupted in a geyser of fine red mist, painting her sleeve and side of her shocked, wide-eyed face a nice blush tone.

She stared down at her bloody hand and looked back up at an equally shocked Hanzo.

"Ah…aahh…" She managed to whimper out while her eyes welled up. Soon enough, her vision rolled up and backward as she fell to match the samurai, head by head.

Hanzo shouted for her well being. She was too young for this. "Kunoichi!"

-

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-

Tetsuya knocked away a kunai and did not mind the illusory spears falling at his head while he slashed at the supposedly invisible Kurenai.

Haku also blocked blow for blow a pair of feral Kibas, kunais in each of their hands, while dancing further and further away from Shino, who was carpeting the ground with an increasingly black mass.

They all stopped at once, with a look of shock as they felt something go wrong in the forest.

_Naruto…_

_ Hinata!_

Tetsuya shook himself out of the stupor first, and swung with all his might at Kurenai. The blow against the kuani was enough to cleave it in two and through the jounin to the other side of the dirt road. Haku jumped back from one of the Kiba's swipes, before flipping forward and springing off the ninja's parka swathed back to land beside her mentor.

"Haku, end this now!"

"Hai, Tetsuya-sensei."

Kurenai had stood up then, and the three ninja surrounded the two samurai cautiously, while Haku flipped the sword in her hand in a wide semi circle, before grabbing the weapon backwards in the same hand.

"Let's cut this short, ninja. Something happened to that idiot boy back there, and I will find out what it is. Haku!"

The female sword user concentrated hard on her sword.

A sound of wood groaning soon sounded around the three ninja as they looked around. Shino looked in surprise as all the trees began to shrivel up at a rapid pace, turning into mummified wood pillars. All sorts of greenery turned black around them. Even the remaining wood on the ruins of the carriage was drying up.

"She's absorbing the moisture in the wood…"

Kiba then took a step, and it sounded very different, with a mossy 'squish'. He looked down to see the dirt road turn into a porridgey mess of mud underneath his feet. "What the hell?"

_No, she's moving the water to the ground… Oh shit!_ Kurenai swore in shock.

Haku calmly called out, "Hijutsu: Eternal Frozen Graveyard."

She dropped the sword into the wet ground.

Immeaditly, the ground everywhere bloomed and erupted into giant sharp pillars of ice blue. Icy stalagmites burst through the ground everywhere, and ninja quickly jumped about and soon disappeared into the blue expanse of blades.

Tetsuya and Haku didn't waste time admiring Haku's new technique, as they immediately dashed into the woods, leaving the forest of ice blades behind them.

_Naruto…whereever you are…YOU'RE STAYING ALIVE!_

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Next Chapter: The ruined samurai bring back their prey. A ruined team eight struggles to rescue. One more clash before the victor is decided.

A/N: If there's one thing I really hate, it's author's notes in the middle of the story:

And so Sora (who was in his KH2 uniform, mind you, because as you know, he has to get new clothes and his red clothes are sooo ugly, lol!) decided he looked pretty awesome in black.

Come on! If you have to tell the audience straight out the descriptions and thoughts, instead of integrating it into the narration, you just plain suck at writing, and need to fix your style. I'm here to read a story, not your stupid giggly thoughts of how it should be. If you want to put in your stupid giggly thoughts, at least trick me into not realizing I'm reading your stupid giggly thoughts, and not put in a giant sign in the middle of the story going "HEY! I'M BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL BY SAYING HOW TOTALLY HOT CLOUD IS! I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW!"

I don't want to know. Shut up and tell me the story.

Finally, I would like further commentary on how my ninja characterization is. This is my first time doing Team Eight.

And feel free to hate me for what I did to Hinata. I almost felt my own eyes feel a little funny when I wrote that.


	10. Luv! : Temple of Doom Crazy Party

You seem to find a lot of interesting stuff, if you just keep reading. I found this quite by accident. Still pretty awesome though:

"Houkou, or the Gobi, is a five tailed beast demon that resembles a dog. It has white fur, and each of its tails contains a specific elemental power- water, fire, earth, air, and lightning. When used all together, they create an earthquake. Houkou will destroy nature for its own gain. Houkou is considered to be the 'God of Illusion', and lives within a giant tree, where it can recover. It once formed an alliance with the Nekomata and attacked the Kyuubi, however, it received a wound from the battle and retreated back to its tree to heal."

Well, enough with all that. Sorry for the lateness.

-

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Luv: Temple of Doom Crazy Party 

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_Naruto… you really have a knack for falling unconscious in strange positions._

Hinata decided that the afterlife was a very strange place after all. She couldn't see anything, couldn't feel very much either, and she didn't seem to be able to move her sluggish body much. All she could do was listen.

_Shut up, Sensei! What do you know!_

_First time was when we met Haku. You fell unconscious standing up. Then there was that party we had at Tatzuemon's shack. You got drunk and fell unconscious curled up in a ball like a puppy. Now there's this. You fell unconscious on your back with your legs in that messed up position. Then there was the time with bathroom in the restaurant, where you misjudged the height-_

_ENOUGH!_

_Still…I'm surprised you recover so fast, Naruto._

_Ah… I guess it's because of my…tenant, Haku._

_Hmmm…_

_Bah… Naruto, you lucky dog. Even I can't recover that fast._

_Ha! Looks like one more thing I totally own you in, sensei! Anyways…how much further is it to Tatzuemon's place? I'm sort of getting tired of looking at that old man's sorry shape._

The idea that Hinata was hearing about Hanzo made her jerk in surprise suddenly. Suddenly the afterlife didn't seem so real after all. In fact, it appeared the Hyuuga was bound up rather well. Eyes blindfolded, mouth covered, limbs bound so she could only lie limp on the ground. Even her fingers were trussed up, so the kunoichi couldn't move them into handseals, or even activate Byakugan.

She could almost hear her father's voice admonishing her for being the Heiress, but still being so weak she still had to activate her Bloodlimit with hand seals. This certainly proved it. Her side also suddenly split with pain. Apparently her injury wasn't enough to rid her existence. Either that, or the samurai decided to keep her alive.

"Egad! The White Witch lives!" (Chapter 903, Volume 87) The oldest voice shrieked dramatically. If she remembered, Hinata thought the man introduced himself at "Tetsuya".

"Sensei, shut up." This one was the boy's voice. He called himself… Uzumaki… something…

"I'm still curious as to why we went out of the way to administer to the wounds she received, Tetsuya-sensei." That one was definitely Haku's voice. She introduced herself (twice) with that name.

"Yeah! We nearly wasted all the crap on her. We practically had to root through her stuff as well to find more bandages!"

Something suddenly grabbed Hinata's form then, before crushing its weight against it and encircling around her (also injured) waist.

"Isn't White Witch the CUTEST thing?" Tetsuya squealed. Tetsuya, apparently, also proceeded to rub his face against the top of Hinata's head.

Thank God for her jacket, or her privacy would have been a little **too** invaded.

Something else pulled Tetsuya off the shocked Kunoichi then.

"Sensei! You pervert! What happened to you!"

"Sorry… she just kind of looks… pillowy in that jacket… wait, you like her, Naruto?" Tetsuya's teasing voice picked out.

"WHAT? She's a ninja! We don't associate with their type!"

"You defended her from me. You liiiiiiike her, dontcha… heh."

"Naruto did that because you both disturbed us equally with that action. I would have done the same, except Naruto reacts faster and was closer."

"Stop being so weird, sensei!"

"Okay, okay. Anyways… why we're keeping that girl. Two reasons. One is as a hostage."

Hinata's stomach sank at the reminder of her failure, and how she was paying for it now.

"It was Haku's first time using that technique. I don't trust unpracticed techniques. The rest of that team of ninjas will be back. I know it. I want to make sure they keep some distance from us. If they get close, gut her."

Hinata really wished her stomach could sink a little further. At least it'd prove she wasn't enjoying that prospect.

"Hai."

"Hai."

"So, sensei… the other reason?"

"She's Hyuuga."

_Oh, God… no…_

"What the hell's a Hyuuga?"

"A very noble family from Konoha. Very powerful. They got a very popular power in the wanted Bloodlimits by all Shinobi Nations. Not only that, she doesn't have that seal which destroys the brain and eyes upon activation. That makes her in the higher up of her clan. We got ourselves an aristocratic ninja, heh."

"Tetsuya-sensei, do you mean that you possibly intend to-"

"I hear Lightning Country's dying to have a living Hyuuga for research. Think of it."

Hinata could almost feel the grin from Tetsuya's position. Some things you didn't even need eyes for. She shivered hard at the fate awaiting her.

"Oi, sensei. Since when did we ever get into this sort of business?"

"Come one Naruto! She's enough money to look after our daily lives for a couple months at least. Live on the run, and all."

"Tetsuya-sensei. I am merely curious. Was there ever a time when border-line slave trade was upheld by samurai?"

"Er… I don't remember! The point's moot! We will discuss and finalize the debate about the ethics of borderline slave trade at a later date! Until then, don't ruin the mood with philosophy, Haku!"

"That wasn't a philo-"

"Until then, don't ruin the mood with philosophy, HAKU!"

There was some grumbling, but by then, Hinata had already felt the uncontrollable urge to lose consciousness. Her last thoughts were divided up between nightmares in Cloud, failing her team, and wondering if her sleepiness was from having the pain medication she brought, being used against her.

-

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-

A fitful slumber for all later, and the morning arose. Hinata figured this out when she felt a foot lightly drop itself on top of her head to rouse her. The samurai filed out after the sounds of a double-quick breakfast, taking their prisoners with them, as they should. Hinata couldn't tell what happened to Hanzo, but she herself was hoisted up and carried over the shoulder by Tetsuya again, this time without any of his disturbing flair.

But she still couldn't move her fingers, meaning she couldn't turn on Byakugan, meaning she even couldn't see where she was going.

Her, a Hyuuga, not being able to see where she was going! For shame! What sort of horrible team member was she if she couldn't even tell where she was or tell her comrades where she was?

"Totally victory man/ beat down ninjas, beat down fat men/ calls for sake! Yeah/" Tetsuya roared out jovially. Apparently this was the first time in a while the samurai took a big job with success.

"Tetsuya-sensei," Haku's voice drifted backwards to Hinata's ears, meaning she was being carried backwards, "Are you trying to make up a Haiku?"

"…yeah?"

"That didn't follow the five-seven-five organization."

"Fine! How about this, lady scholar!" Tetsuya snorted. Another wailing discordant, and poorly metered haiku was thundered out, and another after that, as the female samurai and her teacher fought with tongue for the mastery of the art of poetry.

Naruto's voice sighed to Hinata, meaning he was trailing in the back and facing her.

"Not much of a teacher at first glance, huh, ninja?" Hinata jerked her head up to face Naruto's voice, even though she couldn't see him, "Like I say, you're a nice girl. It really sucks that you had to stay and fight… man, now you're probably going to get sold off to a bunch of perverts. What a waste."

Hinata was about to subconsciously come up with a veritable 'thanks for the reminder, asshole', when Tetsuya threw her up slightly to get a better grip, causing the impact to irritate the injury on her side. Hinata's face could be easily seen wincing.

"Oi, Naruto. Stop fraternizing with the ninja. The shock of the event is going to make me drop her."

"So?"

"What if I drop her on the head. Something bad might happen."

"Since when did you become such a cheapskate?"

Hinata felt herself spin, meaning Tetsuya turned around to face Naruto. "Since we got a freaking Hyuuga! HE-YOUUUUU-GA!"

"Okay! Okay! Stop acting like a retard, already sensei!"

"Naruto, Tetsuya-sensei. Stop that. We're nearly there." Haku's voice shot down the argument like a mother.

Tetsuya's voice brightened up immeadiately, "What? Really! Let's go! You old man, hoof it!"

There was a sound of a groan and a kick, and the party moved forward

-

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"TA-DAI-MA!" Tetsuya roared as he tromped his way through the brush and into the open air of the bandit's temple/headquarters. Several of the rogues quickly scattered in murmured to each other in surprise.

Tatzuemon quickly came out into the open as well, given the loud greeting. "Oh, you're back already? Good job!"

As Haku kicked Hanzo from behind, forcing him to one knee, the elderly businessman glared up at Tatzuemon.

"You…"

Tatzuemon grinned, "You should at least have enough courtesy to greet the one who now owns your life."

"My god! Are you still holding hatred just because I bought-"

"_Just _because you bought? That just goes to show how ignorant you are. That old life was entirely held up by my livelihood. Which you just monopolized over!"

"We're both business men! I though you had a better attitude than that!"

"Shut up! I've been waiting for a long time to tie up this loose end."

"And what do you plan to do?"

"Simple! I'll just keep your for ransom, until I grow bored, then I'll force you to liquidate all your assets. Then you'll understand what it was like for me."

"A revenge plot without murder… how thoughtful." Haku thought quietly to herself.

Tetsuya whistled, while dropping the bound ninja from his shoulder to the ground with a heavy thud. "That's some complicated shit."

At a wave of an arm and a 'take him away!', Tatzuemon's flunkies dragged Hanzo away, leaving the businessman-gone-bandit with the samurai. As sunlight bounced off the man's lenses, he gave a surprised look as he saw the ninja lying on the ground.

"What's that supposed to be?"

"Safety precautions. For the ninjas." Tetsuya nodded. Tatzuemon listened to this while pulling up the kunoichi's head by the hair, releasing a muffled sound from her. A momentary inspection, and he dropped her down again.

"I see."

"Anyways, the job's done and all. Can we go and get our money now? It's best for us not to stick in one place for too long." Naruto quickly said.

"You can if you want. But you are my esteemed guests! I was thinking of holding a small celebration party tonight. There'll be food, drinks, and so on." Tatzuemon grinned, "Just stay for the night! You can leave in the morning if you want."

"I wouldn't mind staying a night more here, Tetsuya-sensei."

"Eh, if you say so." Tetsuya shrugged. He nudged a foot at the immobile ninja on the ground, "Just stick her wherever you put the old man, and keep them both bound up tight."

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The day passed rather quickly after that, and as night fell with a mostly full moon in the sky, a fire brimmed in the temple and the sound of drunken joviality sounded through the building.

Among others, Tetsuya was the first to plaster himself, now indiscriminately dancing half-naked to the tune of his horrendously self-composed ode to Super Shiny Spinny Attack. The song, though, was apparently still feasible to dance to, as several other men were joining in, while still more clapped and laughed from the outside. Even Haku, despite her reserved nature, was good-naturedly smiling and clapping with everyone else.

She was a bit red in the face, though. That might account for something.

Two particulars were missing out on the celebration, though. In a small room connected to the main chamber, Hinata and Hanzo sat, still trussed up rather well.

"Kunoichi… are you alright?" Hanzo tentatively asked. Hinata, eyes and mouths still bound, nodded. A strange shamefulness seemed to fall upon her her shoulders continued to droop under the metaphysical weight.

The wood door slid open then. Hanzo looked up with a bit of surprise, especially at the sight of Naruto, a pitcher dangling from one of his fingers.

"And what are you doing here? Come to gloat at your victory, samurai?"

The boy shrugged, "The party gets boring to me after everybody gets drunk. I decided to relax a little and check on you guys."

"Well, we're not fine, thank you very much. Now if you would just loose these ropes a little…"

"Heh, you've sure got a temper." The blonde then turned his attention to Hinata. While he would never admit or show it, he always felt something softening whenever he regarded her pitiful state.

Naruto sighed as he crouched down, "Don't move." He quickly pulled the knots free around the cloths that held her face captive, internally mumbling the entire time.

_This feeling… means she's going to kill me one day I swear. I'll be all soft, and she'll be all palm-slapping me to death… ninjas…_

As Naruto pulled away the cloth from Hinata's eyes, they finally got to see each other for longer than five seconds, without the urge to kill each other.

There was a momentary silence. Momentary.

"You know… you put up a pretty good fight, kunoichi."

"…I still failed…"

"Man, but you're still pretty spineless. You're just going to lie down and die?" Naruto couldn't help but sneer at this weakness.

"What?"

"That's the problem with you ninja," Naruto noted as he leaned back against the side of the doorframe, while taking a small swig out of whatever was in the pitcher, "If there's something you don't like, you either ignore it or just do the best you can with it."

"…then… what about you? What if you don't like something…?"

"Simple. I just do what the three of us always lived by."

"And what's that?" Hanzo decided to cynically input. Naruto didn't care though.

"Do the whatever the hell you can until you fix it. Fight it tooth and nail."

"But-but what if you die?"

"Eh… at least I'll know I died doing something, unlike you, kunoichi."

Who knows why the two of them were fraternizing since they first met. But there always was this strange connection between them from the get go.

Hinata spoke up again, "But I'm… too weak…"

"So… you're going to take that lying down as well?"

"Naaaaruto! Stop fratenerrerwehebr… with the girlfriend! Rwar!" Tetsuya's raging drunken tone came out from the din towards the blonde samurai. Trust the man to still be gifted with his demonic vision, even when he's drunk. Naruto shrugged with an affirmative and got up.

"Hey, kunoichi."

"…yes?"

"Even with the whole pep-talk, I shouldn't get to cozy with you. If sensei still wants it, you're still probably going to get sold off to Cloud."

The orange-clad swordsman closed the door on that, reaffirming the fears in Hinata once more.

But still…

_Are you going to take that lying down as well?_

-

-

-

With the morning, everything horrible that came with drinking parties arrived.

Including ninjas.

"Boss! Boss! Tatzuemon!" A man emerged from the usual path out the forest shrieking such.

When word reached the boss, it went something like this-

"We were out in the forest taking a piss, when a bunch of ninja jumped us! I managed to get away, but I think they're heading this way!"

"WHAT? TETSUYA!"

Tetsuya was promptly dragged out from his attempt to drown his hangover in the garden pool again.

"Inukage Tetsuya! Ninja are approaching us! What will you do?"

Both the elder samurai's students, being roused and among the crowd ringing the cross-legged man, gave their noise of shock. Or at least Naruto did.

"Eh? Those ninja bastards are coming?"

"That's strange. The time it took them to track us is almost impossible…"

The bandits again were in a frenzy at their future. What a way to go.

"Everybody shut up! Too loud! I've got a HANG OVER!" Tetsuya roared. There was a silence. As the samurai kneaded his fingers around the bridge of his nose, he slowly planned what to do.

"I want everybody outside now… weapons and anything else that's of use. I want somebody to bring the two prisoners into this building…"

"Let's go!" Somebody shouted. People stamped to and fro gather their defense, while Tetsuya merely grimaced.

Couldn't they do this any quieter?

"What's going on?" Hanzo demanded as a group of more bandits dragged the pair of hostages to sit in front of the samurai and Tatzuemon, who remained behind as well.

"Apparently, your ninja have arrived to save the day." Tatzuemon duly answered.

"They're coming?" Hinata repeated. _They didn't even need my help…_

"That's not going to change anything." The Inukage groaned.

"W-what?"

"They're still going to deal with all of us, and I will personally make sure all three of them are dead before they even set foot on the doorstep of this place! Let's go!"

With that, Tetsuya marched off. Haku followed after, while Naruto strayed for a second with a bit of a carefree grin.

"Sorry. Later."

-

-

-

Tetsuya was again on the ground, cross-legged, trying to work the pain out of the bridge of his nose. Scattered around the open air was the entirety of the organization of thieves and rogues.

"Haku."

"Yes Tetsuya-sensei?"

"How the hell do you not get hangovers? You drank as well last night."

"Moderation."

"Moderation was what got Light Green Ranger killed in Chapter 674."

"Oi! Sensei! Stop acting stupid! We need to win for once!"

"Yeh, yeh. Anyways, I can see them coming through the woods soon enough. Everybody get ready. One of them is preparing a jutsu."

Everybody tensed up, raising swords of every kind. The silence of expectation would soon reach a cutting thickness as they waited on.

"Hey… isn't it getting a little hot here?" Somebody murmured. That was true, the air seemed to be getting a little warm-

The innards of the forest lit up as jets of flames burst past the trees and flooding entire groups of men in hell flame. The searing pain and horror of themselves getting burned alive easily made the screams of terror rise into the air. Several men, even as they slowly burned to ash, tried to escape into the un-scorched woods behind them.

All through this, Tetsuya raised an eyebrow. As far as he was concerned everybody just started screaming and falling down and running away like little girls.

_Fuck. A mass genjutsu. I should have known. Looks like it's just us now._ Tetsuya turned his head to see Haku and Naruto still on the ground, screaming. Thank god they stayed behind.

The Inukage struck the two of them in the shoulders with his two fingers, chakra emitting from each. The moment he contacted them, their visions of hell flame ended.

"T…Tetsuya-sensei… what was that…"

"High level genjutsu. It's definitely them all right. Stick close to me till they arrive."

At that, Kurenai burst through the treetop and landed easily on all fours in front of them. Kiba and Shino landed in a similar fashion near her.

"Yo." Naruto greeted.

"Welcome, Shinobi." Haku also said in turn.

Kurenai gave a rather fierce glare at the trio, "Where are they?"

"Who knows?" Tetsuya muttered into his pinching hand. The hand then moved to his sword to pull it free slightly, letting the sun glint off its clean surface, "I usually am in the habit of cleaning my sword after battle, so who knows whose blood was last spilt on it? Either way…"

Tetsuya uneasily moved to his feet, his head still trying to split itself in two. "Naruto, Haku. Go secure the rear. I'll handle this."

"Tetsuya-sensei?"

"Sensei! What the hell? Are you making us run away?"

"If I wanted you to run away, I would have said that. I said for you two to secure the rear. Now GO!"

The two samurai students choked on the unusual fierceness of Tetsuya's shout, before quickly jumping onto the roof of the temple.

Kurenai watched with vague interest before looking back at the remaining enemy. "Why did you call them off?"

"Hey, you should be thanking me. Three on one is hardly fair for you." As Tetsuya's right arm slid through the sleeve on his cloak once more, the hand emerged with two kunai clenched in it. With a fierce toss, the two knives made their way into the face of each of Kurenai's genin students.

Shino burst apart into a mass of insects, and Kiba exploded into smoke, revealing in its wake a small growling puppy with the kunai caught in its teeth.

"So, you can see through bunshins as well…" Kurenai couldn't help but sardonically smirk.

"Well, like I say, it wouldn't be honorable of the three of us samurai to fight only you, when your little baby ninjas are out and running about. Now, let's see if those ninja smarts can save you, jounin."

-

-

-

_Tetsuya-sensei. I misunderstood and underestimated you. Forgive me…_

Haku easily flipped through the air, and fell blade first on the insect using ninja that appeared on the roof. Shino easily raised his own small blade to block the falling icy sword before sliding backwards from another slash aimed at his waist.

As the two stood on the roof, they both waited for each other.

"I'm curious, ninja. How did you track us so quickly?"

Shino raised a curled finger into the air. Immediately an insect Haku swore appeared out of nowhere, crawled off her shoulder and flew silently towards the Shino's blank gaze.

"In our previous battle, I took preliminary cautions and planted her on you. Females of this species release a scent that I can detect. The shinobi with the dog also happens to be an excellent tracker."

Haku gave a false charming smile, "How frightening."

"Now that we have reestablished contact with you, I will kill you and secure the kunoichi and the target you kidnapped."

"We'll see what comes."

-

-

-

A group of about 8 ruffians with swords surrounded Hinata and Hanzo. All of the armed men were fixated with the echoes of weapons clashing and footsteps that seemed to come from the ceiling above them.

"Oi… what did you think all that screaming outside was about?"

"I dunno, but if those ninja did it, those samurai are screwed."

"Don't say that! That Tetsuya guy is pretty strong right?"

"But they're still samurai, though. Ninjas just need to pop a fireball or whatever, and they're toast."

Just then, the wood wall at the far end of the room behind the men exploded into wreckage, as a drill bit of pure flesh, bone, teeth, and nails charged forwards.

"GATSUUGA!" The drill screamed at the men, just before smashing into one right on and continuing onwards. The spinning air around the whirling mess was so strong that it literally dragged all the men off their feet and threw them through the air, even when they weren't even in the direct path of the Piercing Fang. The attack flew through the air over the hostage's head, and slowed to a stop just ahead of them. Sliding to a halt in place of the Gatsuuga was Kiba, carrying a grin.

"Kiba!"

"Hina! You're alright!"

"Um…yes… quick! Get us out of these!"

"Well… duh…" Kiba always seemed to take a little more care in his tone of voice around her. Hina's feelings could easily get hurt. Running over to the tied up pair, a quick slice easily cut through the majority of the ropes, allowing them to shrug the rest of the tight cords off. As the Hyuuga kunoichi got to her feet, she immediately winced, her side folding on her healing would.

"Hey! What's wrong?" Kiba asked, concerned.

"It's… just a wound I received for being careless. My fault."

"Don't talk like that-"

"Son of a bitch!"

Kiba turned abruptly to see the 8 men he had bowled over were getting to their feet, regaining their senses and giving very dangerous looks at the rescue group. The Inuzuka immediately moved to cover Hinata and Hanzo, another big grin on his face.

_Alright! Fight time!_ "Thanks for being Mr. Obvious, stupid!" Kiba sneered back, taking nothing short of pride in his family.

"You bastard! We'll gut you for ruining our house!"

"Your house? What the hell's this? A frat-house or something?"

"You…" The men were practically shaking in rage at the nonchalance of the ninja.

"_Hey Hinata."_ Kiba's faintly whispered.

"Yes?" "Take Hanzo and go out the hole behind us. Head for the woods. I'll handle these guys" 

"…_Okay…"_

"_Alright…_Come one you pricks! I'll take you all at once!"

A familiar boy's voice stopped the ensuing fight, "Don't."

The bandit's turned around and their expressions turned into something of fearful awe. "Naruto…"

The blonde swordsman stepped into view from out of the side, and passed the men, "Go outside and help the others. I'll handle this." With that, Naruto reached for his sword that was tied to his back and easily loosened the weapon. It dropped to the ground and stood by his feet with one hand holding the sword.

"R-right. See you outside Naruto…" The bandits left through the front door, momentarily revealing on the other side, Kurenai and Tetsuya dancing across the terrace.

"So, you're here to save the day?" Naurto sarcastically toned.

Kiba immediately raised a fist at the samurai. "Prick! So it was you that hurt… her!"

"Yeah, thanks for being Mr. Obvious, stupid" Naruto repeated, much to the other boy's chagrin.

"Yeah, well keep talking out of your ass! I'm here to teach you a lesson for ever messing with us."

"Go ahead." The blonde growled out. Kiba momentarily turned his head towards his teammate.

"_Go, now! I'll cover you!"_

With that Hinata grabbed Hanzo by his sleeve and had the both of them running towards the hole in the wall where Kiba entered. Naruto snorted at that, and rushed towards the ninja, sword at his side.

Kiba responded by reaching behind him and hurling as hard as he could a small variety of colored beads, denoting their existence as smoke or pepper bombs. The samurai's eyes widened at this, and immediately fell into a slide. As the bombs were about to hit the ground, Naruto swung his leg out, kicking most of the bombs off to the side, where they exploded against the wall. Though he was able to avoid being caught up in the worst of it, most of the smoke and irritant gases flooded over him as he covered his face.

The moment the smoke cleared, a good number of Kibas were already rushing towards Naruto, all screaming for his blood.

He sure doesn't waste time. Still…Grinning at the challenge, the orange form gripped the floor behind him and rolled backwards. Landing on his feet, Naruto quickly used his free hands to free his sword, slashing and striking at the replications in front of him. Predictably, most of the attacks passed through the air-borne ninjas, but the boy was observant and quick on his feet. Naruto rushed forwards past the bunshins, and found his sword pointed at a Kiba's neck in the back of the crowd. Unlike the others, this one made actual contact with the sword, as a few beads of sweat made itself clear on his face. 

Naruto grinned, "Still too slow."

-

-

-

_A stalemate,_ Haku duly noted, while she slid across the top of the roof away from the bug-using Shinobi. All the while, a wall compromised entirely of the insects had formed between the two, marred only by Haku's icy sword jammed and trapped in the black writhing mass. The boy's shaded features stayed as poker-like as ever. With a sigh, Haku made a sweep gesture with her hand, causing the trapped ice to melt into water and float into her hand, where it reformed once more.

"Not much for talk, are you, Shinobi?"

"…"

"Well, I suppose that's my fault. After living most of my life with two men who try to out talk each other, this is a rather drastic change-" Haku stopped at that comment to resume combat, while thrusting out her arm. The icy blade suddenly blossomed and exploded, as the sword fell apart into a growing spear that was launching itself towards Shino. The ninja made a customary noise of surprise, as he dodged to the side to avoid the fast moving ice-blade torrent that had just torn through the shield of his insects. But the surprise didn't end there. To his shock, Shino watched as the spear of ice continued to grow in a different direction, until the point of ice had completely reverted its course and was growing furiously downwards to impale the ninja from above.

The insect-user quickly threw a kunai with a hissing handle towards the falling ice. The moment the steel bit into the frost, the ice exploded, revealing an icy stump that still charged downwards. But the empty space was more than enough time for Shino to jump out of the way while the ice smashed into the roof, and through it.

-

-

-

_How…cliché…_Naruto felt his eyebrow twitch as the fire began to rapidly catch. As Naruto was playing around with Kiba, massive shards of ice had fallen through the roof, forcing the two of them to jump away from each other. At the same time, one of the falling blocks and knocked down a torch stand, scattering embers across shattered jars of alcoholic Sake, causing the room to go up in flames. Luckily most of the smoke was heading out of the holes in the roof, but the fire was still consuming everything around the two opponents.

"A most suitable stage, ya think?" Naruto snorted through the heat and blaze.

"So you aren't going to run away?" Kiba sneered back.

"Don't push yourself too hard, dog-breath."

"We'll see," Kiba grinned, and brought two fingers to his mouth, giving off a high-pitched whistle. "Hey Akamaru! Come!" Kiba shouted into the flames.

While Naruto gave a strange look, Kiba squatted down, forming handseals.

"Gijyuu Ninpou: Juujuin Bunshin!"

Nothing.

The samurai snorted at the attempt, but nevertheless took the jutsu as an upcoming to something bad. With that, Naruto was already charging through the flames towards Kiba, while the ninja still kept that crazy look on his face.

"Let's do this, Akamaru! Gatsuuga!" Immediately behind Naruto, the panel doors exploded as a drilling force of nature propelled itself towards Naruto from behind.

_Shit…_

Though Naruto was hit from behind by the drill of teeth and claws, Akamaru only hit wood and ninja smoke as replacement burst apart. Behind the Kiba clone that comprised of his dog, Naruto dropped to the ground near the totaled door.

Tetsuya's head momentarily popped through the opening, mouth agape.

"Holy shit. That dog turned into a man!"

"You make it sound like that's a good thing." Naruto growled back.

"Well, not really. But-AGH!" Tetsuya's head ducked away as several kunai dug into the wood. Probably that jounin woman. Naruto kept his gaze straight at the two Kiba's through the fire.

"Well, I'm waiting." The samurai shrugged.

One of the Kibas reached into his pack to throw more smoke bombs at Naruto. The samurai wasted no time launching himself out of the way of the emerging clouds, and quickly dodged away again from a Gatsuuga that tore through the ground he was on moments before. Much to the hidden annoyance of Kiba and Akamaru, the orange form was veritably bouncing from one portion to the floor as the two drills circled around and tore through the burning temple as they continued to chase after Naruto.

_They can even change direction. Scary._ Naruto mentally harrumphed. _He'll probably tear through my sword the way he's moving. Luckily he's not paying attention to where he's fighting. Man, this sucks. I've only got a 50-50 chance to get the right one._

With that, Naruto slashed at the burning pillar behind him. The ancient wood easily parted into two even bits at that, but the damage wasn't enough to cause anything. Yet.

As the two ninjas swirled about and continued to try and dig through the blonde's guts, the latter kept moving from one specific pillar to another, cutting through the wood in a deft stroke. Soon Naruto was standing beside the last pillar of his choice, ready.

As the whirling Kiba closed in on Naruto, the swordman suddenly jumped away and rolled to his knees and flung his sword. The blade spun like a boomerang and slashed through another wood support. This one resulted in the roof caving in, but not on the drill that was headed for Naruto, but the one that held back slightly in the background. Without even stopping, the samurai ran through the dust and pulled out a kunai. The remaining drill spun around to charge towards Naruto.

"Stop right there dog! Or I'll kill your master!" The samurai growled. Immediately, the remaining Kiba fell out of his revolutions, and landed on his feet. Growling, the Kiba tried to cautiously approach the samurai who was crouched by something in the dust.

"Revert back to your original form."

The Kiba gave a sort of despondent look, but agreed, and the Kiba exploded into Ninja smoke, revealing the dog Akamaru, who lay whimpering on the ground. Naruto grinned and poked his kunai slightly at Kiba, who was half buried under the rubble.

"How did you guess it was me…?" The Inuzuka coughed.

"When the enemy lets you use your tactics, it's probably because they set up a trap for you. Something I picked up." Naruto explained. "I know you're not that stupid as to not notice me cutting through those supports. After I went through the third one, I noticed that only one of you two were continually chasing me, while the other stuck to the background and sometimes attacked. It was pretty easy to figure out from there that you were letting your dog fight for you first."

"Bastard… this isn't over yet…"

"Don't delude yourself," Naruto said as he raised his knife, "It's over."

A familiar voice cut in just then, "Stop!"

The two men (and the dog too, mind you) turned their attention to a hole in a wall made earlier, one from whom Hinata had just re-emerged from, obviously running back the entire time, as she still clutched her still healing side that took double stress from hard breathing as well.

_Hina…_"Hey! I though I told you to get out of here! You have to look after the old man!" Kiba shouted to the white-eyed girl

"Hanzo's safe! I have to help you now!"

Kiba couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the words and mumbled, "Since when did you become a go-getter…?"

"Yeah, Kunoichi. Since when did you start saving the world?" Naruto sneered.

"…Since you suggested the idea to me."

"Huh!"

"I'm not going to take it lying down anymore."

Those words brought a nasty little grin to Naruto's features. It was nasty, merely because they were enemies though. "That's the spirit, ninja! Always run into death with regret, eh? Since you're fighting me…"

Naruto's kunai was concealed again, and with his wood sheath he always held, he flicked it towards his sword that lay forgotten in a corner of the room. The long, weighted string that was attached to the covering flew to the sword and wrapped around the handle. With a pull, the sword was tossed back into it's owners hand, where Naruto pulled the sword back into the sheath, and fell into a low stance.

The same stance that nearly killed the Hyuuga last time.

"…How about round two?" Naruto asked. At the same time, another large portion of the ceiling of the incinerating temple caved in beside the pair, making Naruto continue on another point, "This place isn't going to last much longer, kunoichi. Better make your move fast."

Hinata merely nodded, and moved her hands through her seals

"Byakugan." With those words, the familiar veins ran across the top of her face, her iris's expanding to take in everything. The Kunoichi stood sideway with that, palms outward to receive Naruto's attacks.

There was a momentary pause, before the two of them rushed forwards towards each other. In a blink of an eye, the two passed each other and slid to a halt, Hinata halting by her half buried teammate.

Five seconds later, Hinata's right arm received a deep gash that sprayed blood, causing her to hiss at the pain.

Naruto turned his backwards to smirk at the wound, before falling backwards himself.

And so things went full circle.

"…Holy shit! Hina, you beat him!" Kiba cheered. Akamaru likewise regained his vigor and jumped to his dog feet with a victorious bark. Hinata only turned back with a shaky smile, hoping that she wouldn't blow up ten seconds later or something.

"I guess. Anyways, let's get you out of there and get out of here."

After a bit of digging, Hinata finally managed to pry the last major piece of wreckage of her teammate and help carry the boy over her shoulders the best she could. Seeing that the front entrance had caved in from the samurai's earlier trick, the only was out was through the hole in the back wall Kiba made.

As the two passed, a hand suddenly shot forward, clutching the kunoichi's ankle. Giving a yelp of surprise, the two turned around to look at the facedown figure on the ground, whose hand was gripping onto the Hyuuga.

"Oi… kunoichi… what's your name?" The blonde samurai mumbled into the floor.

Kiba gave an offended look at that, and raised his in a motion to stomp on the other boy's head, "Bastard! Don't you dare ask that shit!"

His teammate stopped him, making him object, "You're okay with this? But-"

"It's okay…" Hinata whispered before turning to the boy on the ground, "Hinata. It's Hinata."

"Hyuuga Hinata… nice name… I'm Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto turned his head to stare up at them with one eye. That was enough to drive some sort of fear into the ninja's hearts.

Maybe it was the heat, or the light of the fire around them, but the boy's eye was unmistakably red, like a demon was wearing an ill-fitting skin of a boy.

"…Hinata, you better not forget my name, 'cause I'm not going to forget yours… you've got potential… We're going to meet again… I promise… so get strong… and wait for that day…"

Naruto's hand lost grip then and fell to the ground, the boy unconscious.

"C'mon, Hina! Let's go!" With that, the two samurai rushed through the wall as more roofing fell about them.

-

-

-

From the hole in the roof, Haku stared in shock at her fallen brother in arms. "Naruto! Stay where you are! I'll get you!" As she tried to move while staying on guard from the bug-using shinobi, her literal next step proved to be her last at the same go.

The moment her foot hit the tiles, it suddenly cracked, causing a whole swarm of black to rush up her leg. Shocked, she tried to kick and shake the chakra draining pests off her, but only caused her to panic and lose balance, causing her to fall on her back, causing the tiles under her to crack and cause more bugs to swarm over her flailing, screaming body.

"You turned your back to the enemy." Shino calmly noted, "For someone with your skills, I'm surprised I wasn't attacking so often with my insects. While we fought, I secretly moved insects directly under the roof. The entire area is under my control. You lose."

That was the last thing Haku heard and saw before blackness consumed her frightened countenance.

-

-

-

"What the hell are you thinking, tying strings to your kunai? I can still See those, stupid woman!" Tetsuya sneered as he swatted away each kunai that flew at him, even then, Kurenai kept a straight face and kept the samurai busy by continually throwing whatever she could afford.

_I just have to keep his concentration here!_

Suddenly, the jounin stopped hurling various pointy weapons at the samurai and pulled all the strings together. Holding them with her teeth, Kurenai flipped through the hand seals for a no-brainer for any Jounin.

"Katon! Ryuuka no Jutsu!"

Kurenai put the last seal so that it enveloped the string between her teeth as she finished the technique. Great flames burst around her, and soon streamed down the wires that she held in her mouth, most of them spider webbing around Tetsuya, who merely snorted.

_She didn't even tie me down. She expects to hit me with that technique?_ Pushing chakra into his legs, the eldest samurai hunched down and gave a great leap, sending him meters into the and well above the carpet of flames under him. The Inukage's sword reflected the sun as he dive-bombed back towards Kurenai. She easily dodged out of the way of the blow that was strong enough to cleave the earth, and brought up a kunai to block the next attack. Even with the hardened steel, Tetsuya's sword was still able to bite very deep into the knife, like it was trying to convert the weapon into butter to cut through.

"You can't keep it up forever, lady." Tetsuya mocked as he pushed his sword closer and closer to her face.

"I only need to keep it up for THIS!" Kurenai shouted as she saw her plan go perfectly, raising a leg, she launched it straight into Tetsuya's side. The samurai easily blocked with his own leg, but the force was enough to force the samurai right where he needed to be.

Hearing a very distinct snapping of wood, Tetsuya gave a dumbfounded look and turned around in time to see his vision covered in bark as the tree fell on him, its trunk completely burned through.

"_Bitch! I'll kill you for this!_" a muffled tone screamed out from under the branches.

"I should have known you would have under estimated me for being a genjutsu user. Since you concentrated so much on trying to see through whatever 'tricks' I had, it was simple to distract you from my actual goal: destroying that tree with my technique, after planting a kunai on it. You rely on that special ability of yours too much, whatever it is."

The tree blew up after that, as Tetsuya emerged from the splinters. "It still isn't over!"

"It is." Shino's voice suddenly cut in. Tetsuya choked a curse in his throat, as he watched the damn-near emotionless bastard land on the ground near the jounin, Haku unmoving on his shoulder.

"So what, you killed her or something? Are you threatening me with a dead body?" His face twitched as he did his damn best to keep his arrogant grin on his face, even if it felt horribly wrong.

"No. She is alive. If you surrender she will stay that way."

"Don't forget us!" Kiba's voice shouted out as he, along with Hinata, the dog, and Hanzo as well came in, with an equally unconscious Naruto being dragged behind.

"We have your students," Kurenai stated as calmly as she could, "All the bandits have abandoned you, and we out number you four to one, even if three of them are my students. You're out of options, Tetsuya."

Tetsuya growled harshly at those words, eyes wild and both hands grabbing his sword. All of the ninjas tensed at this, anticipating another desperate attack of sorts from the cornered Inukage. But those expectations disappeared as the man seemingly calmed down a bit and spoke.

"Well… I'll admit that part of the samurai honor is knowing when not to act like a total retard, tactically anyways. Cut your losses and all. I suppose even the Rangers admitted defeat once…" Tetsuya balanced the sword by the bottom of its handle for a second before tossing it up into the air, where it speared straight into the earth couple feet away.

"Okay, you guys win. Just don't beat up on my students, 'kay?" Tetsuya drawled as he raised up his hands, "But what ya' gonna do about it? There's obviously not enough of you to capture us and send us to the gallows in Konoha, without jeopardizing the mission you already got. So, what ya' gonna do?"

"Oh, don't worry, I've thought about that." Kurenai sarcastically muttered as she marched toward the man, until they were face to face, "This is for endangering my students."

She cocked her fist back.

-

-

-

Kiba whistled as he watched Tetsuya fly a couple feet back and landed heavily on the back of his head, and laid still. "Damn. You sure showed him, sensei."

As the boy's teacher flapped her hand a little from the excessively powerful, but very well deserved punch, she turned back to her group. "Our mission isn't over yet. Let's all reconvene at the meeting point, rest and continue on. We don't know how many bandits are left out there, and the further we can get away from here, the better. Let's go."

With affirmatives from everyone, they all marched onwards into the rising morning. Hinata turned to look back at the facedown form of the boy she met.

_Oh, don't worry. If you're really coming back like you say, I won't take that lying down. I'll be waiting for you, Uzumaki Naruto._

And so, the relationship between a ninja and samurai was borne.

Just not the one that was expected.

-

-

-

Next Chapter: The samurai journey through a blissful dream, soon to be rudely awakened. A hermit makes himself an enemy. Two faces watch from above, faces covered in blood-painted clouds. Luv! Arc ends, Princess Arc begins.

A/N: Worst chapter (girly voice) EVAAR, LIKE OMG. (I hurt myself saying that). Finding a way to write this piece of crap was a nightmare. Thank god it's out the way now. Sorry for the lateness.

Oh yeah. About the question about Naruto's skill, and in comparison to the other Genin (Cutting Sasuke's fireball in half, but getting owned by Hinata)-

Not a clue. I'm just writing the plot as I planned out.


	11. Princess: Devil Trigger

Pleh. Writing Chapter 11 is hard work.

I watched too many Chinese Kung-fu movies and played too much Soul Calibur 3 (as reputedly hated as it is). I keep thinking too much of those acrobatics. Argh.

Seriously. Somebody slap some sense into those retarded 12-year-old fangirls plaguing this place. Everyday I see a NEW dumb story about stupid fangirls moving through time and space to "land in the Naruto world" (It's almost always the same phrase!) hook up with Naruto or other male. Ugh. A NEW one every day! And they can't even review properly!

You could write the shortest stupidest drivel, and they'd still say "Hey! I love your story, hope you update soon!"

Seriously! Look at it yourself! The same exact phrase for every single story, regardless!

Tch, nevermind. I should have expected this when I arrived here.

-

-

-

Princess: Devil Trigger 

**-**

**-**

**-**

It had been a few days since their sort-of failed job. "Sort of", because the three samurai still had been paid on the night of the party. Still, it sucked to lose since the whole honor thing called for you to stab yourself in the stomach, if one could recall correctly.

Even the normally vengeful bandits that hired the samurai had not yet returned from the Genjutsu attack, leaving Naruto, Haku, and Tetsuya free reign of what was left of the old temple.

So, by the end of the last of days that could be now finally called "a few", Tetsuya was sitting on the burned out porch, head on arm on pulled up knee, bored out of his head. Out in the clearing, by the light of the falling red sun was Haku and Naruto, hard at practice as always trying to prove each other's superiority.

Tetsuya decided it was enough when he saw the two of them try to do one of those idiotic simultaneous attacks to see who would hit first. It was obvious Haku would hit first, but Naruto's sword would probably have enough force and weight to cleave halfway through the girl.

"Alright, ya two. That's enough."

The two swords stopped above both apprentice's shoulders.

"Get over here." Tetsuya yowled over at the two, which was promptly followed by their obedient arrival. "So, I've been pretty much tired of sitting around, waiting. I think it's high time for us to go leave this country. I don't like the idea of vengeful robbers or hunter-nin on our trail."

Naruto did his customary shrug. He wasn't stupid, but he still left the details to the other two for the most part.

"Then where would be go from here, Tetsuya-sensei?" Haku inquired.

There was a hum of thought before Tetsuya answered, "You know that lodging town we stopped at before we got into that run in with the bandits that started this whole thing?"

"You mean to return to Otafuku City?"

"We can take a small break there and re-supply before we hoof it out of the country."

"But, but sensei! Otafuku's only a stone's throw away from Konoha! It's dumb to be so close to a place that's going to be after our head again so soon!" Naruto argued, though.

"Hey! I'm just coming up with this as I go along! It's the best we got anyways, right?"

"Ah, don't worry about the ninjas, Naruto-kun", Haku reassured, "It's an unlikely thought that there will be ninjas in every single town, even if Otafuku is a relatively… reasonable place."

"Eh, fine! If we get into trouble with ninja, I'll just blame you!"

"You know, the last person who said that was Pitted Viper Hench in chapter 749. Shortly after he got sucked to death by a vampire."

"Oh, SHUT UP!"

-

-

-

The next night and day was spent making whatever walking speed they could to double back to Otafuku. By the time the sun was setting for a second time, the three, who traveled through brush, a bush-whacking bush, trees, a wrong turn off a cliff…

To put simply, three dirty, ragged and unusually impatient samurai stood in the front gates of the welcoming lights of the lodging town, and gave an exuberant sigh.

They had seen heaven.

Well, metaphorically anyways. In truth, Otafuku was what they called a "lodging town", which is just a politician's way of saying "One Big Honking Tourist Trap." The place was filled with a chock full of hotels to cater to varying kinds of passer-throughs and every level of society. High-society, Low-society, Questionable-society, Adventurous-society, Soul-society, etc.

The three of them stood of a rather average hotel, called "Shining Ponds and Springs", or some crap like that. The inspiration obviously came from the front lobby that was marked by an exquisite pathway ringed by some marvelously designed ponds that probably cost half the budget of making the hotel.

"Welcome! How many in your party?"

"Three." The eldest duly explained.

"Would you like three rooms or two?"

"One."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a cheapskate. Give me the cheapest single room you have."

"Uh, well-"

"Sensei! What the heck are you thinking! You can't fit three people in one room!"

"You'd be surprised."

The guy at the counter stopped flipping through the pages, "Well, there is room-"

"Good! Excellent! Keys now!"

The keys were to room 29 on the second floor. It was the last one at the end of the hall to the left. It was a cramped chamber with a bed, a table, and a window, and almost looked like an after-thought in the building design plans.

This didn't seem to bother them too much as they all piled on either the single chair next to the table or the small bed by the window.

"I'm not taking another step… I'm tired."

Naruto grinned and stood tall (which took up the last of his energy), "Ha! I could go on for days!"

"Stamina freak…"

Haku, being a sensible woman made a honest opinion, which only women would follow, "We kind of smell. Maybe we should wash somewhere first before sleeping."

"No."

"I don't need a bath!"

"You two stink."

"That's a manly thing." Tetsuya muttered.

The female samurai sighed, but then felt the presence of heated water due to her family heritage. "Well, I'm not standing the smell. You two are either going to go to the hot spring behind this building, or I'm going to dump hyper-arctic water on you two."

Tetsuya rose up with a challenging grin, "Ha! You try it women! Me and Naruto can take anything your womanly-samurai-ish wiles any time! Right Naru-"

There was a sound of a door slamming behind Tetsuya and Haku, and a muffled "See you at the spring!"

"…eh, fine. You win this time, lady."

"That's nice to hear from my mentor, Tetsuya-sensei!" Haku said with one of her creepy grins that one couldn't tell was supposed to be condescending and patronizing, or just merely nice.

"Just you wait! I hope some 50-year-old pervert like that porno bastard Jiraiya spies on you for his material for the next book! HA!"

-

-

-

Naruto just stepped into the water. Tetsuya, being retarded as he was, decided to belly-flop into the pool. Luckily this night, it seemed apart from the samurai, only an elderly other gentleman (who seemed to have some fixation with the dividing wall between the two sexes' pools) was privy to the sight of a naked eye-patched dirty man screaming 'Banzai!' at the top of his lungs before crashing into the water.

Apparently having Houkou made him immune to the affects of slamming into the solid wall of water. Good for him.

"Man! This shit feels smooooth." Tetsuya grinned as he leaned back against the warm stones encircling the pool, while sitting next to his student. He made extra care not to look at the bamboo partition, since he wasn't exactly in the mood for his wandering eye to accidentally See through the divide and into the women's side. Haku and all.

Naruto didn't turn to address his teacher beside him, as he was keeping his head poked above the top of the stone, suspiciously keeping his gaze on the old man who hadn't moved from his position of facing the wall for the last couple of minutes. "Its water, sensei."

"tch-phff-YEAH! I know that! …Hey! Look at your teacher when I address you!"

Naruto turned around annoyed, "I'm doing something important here - _can't you see that guy is suspicious?"_ Naruto quietly hissed while pointing his finger at the old man.

Tetsuya raised his eyebrow that was not consumed by the eye patch over top, and then looked past his samurai student's blonde, spiky cranium.

Yeah. Old man staring at the wall. He seemed pretty built for an old guy though. You could see plenty of muscle still on that large frame of his. He had a whole shock of white hair, so much that the huge-ass pony tail (this thing was worthy of actually being called that) was going down the man's back like a… pony's tail.

Tetsuya was sure that he'd never forget an old fogey that managed to keep fat off his body. One of those "once in a lifetime" things. Either way, back to the topic at hand.

"So? It's an old guy."

"But… he's really suspicious! He keeps facing that wall… what if he's a ninja?"

"Him?" Tetsuya snorted, and pointed rudely at the elderly gentleman that seemed to be not hearing a word spoken, "Naruto… how one earth did you come up with the conclusion that a 50-year-old man with a hearing problem and an obsessive fixation with the partition would actually be a ninja?"

"Cause all ninjas are weird."

"He looks like I could tip him over with my finger…" Tetsuya muttered. But he decided that since he was bothering Naruto, he might as well do something about it. "OI! Prick! Stop scaring the kid and stop acting like a retard! Get in the pool!

The man just sat.

"Oi! I'm talkin' to you!"

"…I don't listen to the pitiful whinings of little chicks like you." Came the gruff reply.

Tetsuya rose out of the water then. Let's not mind the nakedness. Just concentrate on the bulging veins and shaking pointed finger.

"What you call me! And what that'd make you?"

The old man turned over to face them, a great sneer encompassing the face. Two red tattoo lines ran down vertical from his eyes.

"Well aged! Like fine wine!"

"You ask me, you look like fuckin' piss beer!"

"Ha! You children know not style or grace then!"

The old man was pushing himself further and further away from the wall, until his body had moved away from the wall enough for Naruto, who had been previously silent, to notice something.

"Wait… is that a PEEKHOLE?" The blonde shouted in disbelief.

"AGH! So you reveal your true form! A pervert!" Tetsuya accused.

The old man bellowed at that. "You think me just a mere letch! I am beyond that! I am a refined SUPER PERVERT!"

_Super Pervert? Where'd I hear that before? It was in the back of a book or something…_ "Hey you! Identify yourself!" The elder samurai shouted once more.

One could swear after there were the sounds of wooden tabs clacking to the beat of the kabuki theater, while the old man hopped around on one foot naked.

"Listen up! Bow before might, as you perceive Gallant… Toad Hermit… Jiraiya's… Wild Dance of Eden!"

Pose.

Naruto was gaping at the sight. He couldn't take his eyes of the sheer lunacy and stupidity, but at the same time, gazing at naked old men wasn't exactly a healthy process.

Tetsuya was shaking at the word. Not in fear, though. "You're Jiraiya? As in that guy who wrote Icha Icha?"

"Ah ha! You acknowledge my greatness!"

"Prick! It's because of your stupid word porn that Super Shiny Spinny Attack is nearly out of business! I am Inukage Tetsuya! Samurai and Student of Super Shiny Spinny Attack! By identifying yourself, you have made me you greatest enemy! Jiraiya, your time as has come!"

"W-wait sensei! Aren't you taking this a little bit too far…?"

"Hardly! Like you shall never forgive your home, I shall never forgive this bastard! VENGEANCE!"

As an attestation to Tetsuya's preparedness, his sword was already just on the other side of the rock that closed in the pool. Reaching for it, the Inukage quickly threw the sheath off, letting the blade bask in the moonlight. Of course, the moment Tetsuya took a step forward, a little blond form was already grappling with the man.

"Now this is going way too far Sensei!"

"Let go! I must restore the Ranger's honor in this realm!"

"You just can't go randomly attack civilians in public, even if they're porno writers!"

"I can! It's my right as Samurai! Away with you!" Tetsuya finished with a flourish of his arms that had enough force to throw the 12-year-old boy off him.

With that, Tetsuya rushed out of the water with great speed, charging towards the unmoving elderly fellow.

"DEATH!" Tetsuya roared

"Hey pervert! Get moving or this guy will really hurt you!" Naruto managed to shout out in the back.

The samurai leapt through the air, blade flying towards the man's chest. Just moments before contact, a large foot smashed into the naked Inukage sword-slinger's face with enough force the entire frame of the man went spinning through the air backwards, head over feet. Tetsuya smashed into the pool with a great explosion of water.

Tetsuya merely burst through the water again, eyes red for bloodlust. He wasn't going down for some old porno writing HUMAN! "Bastard!"

He rushed towards Jiraiya again, which promptly booted him back into the water. Tetsuya merely got up again and rushed. And rushed, and over and over.

By the fifth time, Tetsuya was practically running on all fours to get to Jiraiya faster. When he emerged from the pool a sixth time he was screaming for blood.

"Sensei!" Naruto was also shouting in fear.

Tetsuya swiveled around in the water and roared, "WHAT?"

Immeadiately, his student cringed back from the look, "Sensei! You gotta stop! You're losing control!"

Something snapped back into place then. _He's right…_

Tetsuya rushed to bury himself into the water, to the surprise of everyone present. Eventually the samurai emerged again, his lone eye glaring at Jiraiya, while stuck a finger at the hermit. "This isn't over yet! While we're both here, you better watch your back!"

Jiraiya was giving a grim quiet look to Tetsuya, but seemed to brush the thought off with a wave of his arm. "Tch! You may try! But the likes of you cannot touch me! Now go while I go conduct research."

"Research my ass! I'll be seeing you, later!" Tetsuya indignantly muttered while pulling a towel around his waist, then storming out, with sword in hand. Naruto followed after.

Jiraiya merely harrumphed as he put his eye to the peephole.

He was immediately blasted away by a jet of water that forced itself through the miniscule passage, thus increasing the already powerful force several more fold.

Luckily for the women on the otherside, Haku was a very attentive listener.

-

-

-

"S-sensei, what was that!" Naruto nervously asked as the two moved through the rows of lockers.

"What was what?" Was the unhappy reply.

"You…you had something weird coming out of that covered eye."

This caught the older samurai's breath, as he turned around to face his student. "What was it?"

"It looked like… some sort of white chakra that was coming from underneath your eyepatch."

"Naruto, first you can't see chakra. At most you see dust flying up from the force, but actually seeing chakra visibly is practically impossible. Even if there are techniques that involved visible chakra, like puppet strings or something, it's usually blue, not white."

"But that's what I saw! Something white was coming out of your eye and it felt like chakra!"

"… Come Naruto. We'll talk about this, another time. The night's not young anymore."

Naruto just stuck a tongue at the retreating form of Tetsuya, but left the matter be.

-

-

-

Two figures stood atop a cliff to see the rising sun. A most beautiful dawn. Clouds floating in the sky painted in blood. A most beautiful red dawn.

"It looks like our investigation into Konoha didn't turn up any lead, eh?"

"No. But it was expected due to the reports. The Kyuubi-Seal has been traveling under tutelage of an outsider to Konoha for much of his life."

"How strong is this guy?"

"Bingo Books report him to be B-Rank, even without practice of a shinobi. He is comparable to a Jounin."

"This sounds easy."

"His party has been travelling through this region for a while. Recently they doubled back. Judging from the reports of their supply capacity, they are most likely heading to a city to resupply. This city, Otafuku, is the most likely location."

"So apart from the Kyuubi-Seal, who's his teacher?"

"The Kyuubi is accompanied by one other student, a female. They are both taught by a man who identifies himself continually as 'Inukage Tetsuya'."

"Inukage?"

"You recognize the name?"

"I didn't expect to hear from him… this ought to be particularly for me."

"Then by all means, lead."

-

-

-

A new day. They were supposed to be out shopping. Tetsuya stomped out onto the streets, legs taking up wide spaces while his hands were stuffed into his pockets, which made a very strange scene of the crème column of cloth with a head on top hunched over and glowering at everything. Behind him, Naruto and Haku walked behind, as if everything was normal.

"Say, Haku. What do you think it is?" Naruto asked his sister-in-arms, having previously reported the Tetsuya's white chakra and bloodlust of the previous night in secret to her.

"I can only make an assumption it could be the Houkou that is a part of Tetsuya. Just like a part of you is the Kyuubi, you both have a reaction to violence at points."

"Man, that sucks. He's going to have to keep an eye on his temper then, since that Perverted Hermit Jiraiya is still in town. Looks like it's a good thing we're samurai. Self-control and all that, right?"

"I'd assume as much."

"Oi! Ya two!" Tetsuya yowled back, "I need your help in getting groceries for the trip. Get a move on!"

The day hit it's first path downhill when they entered the first grocery store. Tetsuya, inspired by what transpired last night, was subsequently with an amazing thought.

Tetsuya and Naruto was side by side in the aisle holding all wheat, bread, or grain products, because apparently that's the only thing men can choose on their own accord, next to meat, women, and video games. Haku on the other hand, being the completely dependable female she was, was searching for vegetable products that would at least look somewhat agreeable to her comrades. They were never big on leaf matter, except for pissing on them or using them for weapons practice. It extended to all vegetable matter in general.

As Tetsuya inspected a super flat parcel of bread deemed specially designed for travel, he talked to Naruto out the side of his mouth.

"Oi, Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"About the Kyuubi…"

"Shhh! Not so loud around here?" The small samurai quickly hushed and looked around quickly.

"Why?" Tetsuya raised an eyebrow, "It's not like we're in Konoha."

"Everybody in Fire Country still hates the bastard!"

"Look whatever. Do you think Kyuubi's a chick?"

"…WHAT!"

Everybody didn't really notice the mention of the Nine-tailed mass-murdering furry bastard, but everybody did spend a long silence staring in various ranges of emotion of the boy who just shouted for no reason.

Naruto looked around and managed to give a sheepish chuckle and rubbed his head apologetically, until some semblance of before was restored. Naruto then gave a dirty look at his master.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, do you think Kyuubi's a chick? You know, a bitch? A Vixen? A girl?"

Naruto managed to make some strangled noises, "What's so important about it?"

"Just curious. You know, it might give a reason to why Kyuubi went on that rampage, ya know?"

"Er…"

"I think they call it PMS these days. You know, that time of the month when women go insane and bitchy and kill people?"

Naruto couldn't really see it in his imagination that Kyuubi would doom him to eternal self-imposed exile and discrimination over PMS. He decided to improvise with materials on hand.

The image of a hundred-story tall Haku at-that-time-of-the-month attacking Konoha made more sense.

"Well… but I don't see what Kyuubi possibly being a girl has to do with anything. Besides, what about you? Houkou could be a girl by the same merit."

"Not really?"

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm MANLY."

Just the way Tetsuya said it made Naruto fold over. In barely contained laughter.

Outdated-comic-book-reading-unrequited-fanboy-dork-who-drowns-himself-in-pools-when-he-get-hangovers-alcohol-intolerant…

Naruto fell to the ground, laughing his head off.

Tetsuya blinked at the thing at his feet.

"HA HA HA! Oh god! That's good! You manly! Ah jeez! I can't stop!"

"What? How dare you mock my honor! DIE!"

-

-

-

The second path downhill was after the store manager kicked them both out for fighting and eventually knocking over the rack of food. Naturally, Haku sighed and said for the two of them to wait outside, and that SHE would go get everything. She was also muttering something under her breath about them "being sealed with stupidity more than anything else…" but that's a story for another time.

The two samurai stood on little stools outside the store, bored out of their mind in the heat of the day. The only points of interest was the sounds of heavy footfall around them, and the coy giggles and flirts in an inn room across the street and up a floor.

Seriously. It was practically in the middle of the day. Who the hell had time to mess around with girls when they should be off working?

The paper and wood window was thrust open quickly, increasing the volume of laughter after a particularly familiar hermit (blindfolded, mind you) landed on the railing after wrapping his arms around a rather loosely kimono wrapped woman, everybody giggling. The hermit's giggle was a bit lecherous, though.

Tetsuya was immediately on his feet, pointing his finger once again at the now probably identified Jiraiya, "YOU!"

It was the Jiraiya. This time, he was clothed in some thick gray clothes that were underneath a red vest. Large Geta-sandals adorned his feet and a metal head plate was atop his forehead. It was not one that identified him as a ninja, though. The plate was much thicker and wider, and sprouted two small metal horns. Painted on the surface, inexplicably, was the character for the word "oil".

The old perverted writer raised the white blindfold off his eyes with a bit of amused surprise to see the man on the street below hurling various insults. "Oh, it's the crazy samurai!"

"Don't crazy samurai me you perverted prick! I demand a rematch right here, so I can gut you and restore honor and sales values to Super Shiny Spinny attack!"

Naruto was already on his feet and trying to pull back his teacher again, "Oi! Sensei! Don't go beserk again! Let's just go!"

Jiraiya noted the relationship, "Oh ho! So the master is being lectured by the student in the matters of self-control? Is this what became of the great Samurai?"

"He's not cute at all… is he a friend of yours, Jiraiyaaa?" The overly breasted women teased.

"Ah, he's just some nobody that wants a bit of fame by troubling me" Jiraiya waved a dismissive hand at the fuming one-eyed warrior below.

"Oi! You prick! Get down here!"

"I'm much too settled in here, samurai. Why don't you come up?" Jiraiya returned, while purposely his hand slip on the woman's kimono, letting more of the cream flesh be exposed to the normal view of the two samurai, who immediately reddened up, with a bit of blood down the nose to boot.

"Well, little chicks, how about it? I'm sure you enjoy the company of women at least! But I'm rather afraid the women up here might prefer your swords over you!" The writer guffawed, eliciting roaring laughter throughout the floor.

The samurai below were grinding their teeth at the words, before Tetsuya reached for his sword. Motioning for his student to do likewise, Tetsuya explained.

"Oi, Naruto. Let's give this bastard a lesson in chakra."

"Right!"

Jiraiya gave a look a minor confusion as he watched a circle of dust blow away from the feet of the two, as the two held the sword in their sheaths. In an instant, the two slashed out at the open air in front of the building. Tetsuya slashed in an upward motion, and Naruto vice-versa from his shoulder configuration. Together the entire side of the inn buckled inwards and exploded in a mass of debris, scattering tiles, pebble-sized concrete bits, and passerbys. Terrified female screams sounded out throughout the inn and the sounds of footfalls were heard as they escaped with their lives along with everyone else in the street.

As the dust cleared, two large gashes were scored into the front of the in, shattering tiles, splitting wood, shredding paper, and covering a blinking Jiraiya in soot and dust.

"Take that!" Tetsuya sneered and pointed his sword at the man above. "It may not be as satisfying, but that sure oughta teach you a lesson for insulting a samurai!"

"Naruto! Tetsuya-sensei! What's all this?" Haku's exasperated voice came from behind the two.

Tetsuya fumbled a bit, "Well, er… you see…"

"Some bastard was making fun of us, and he was a pervert to, so he deserved it! It was the same guy who was peeking on you last night, until you showed him how awesome you were!" Tetsuya's blonde companion easily explained in his stead.

Haku blinked. "Oh… okay. Well I got the stuff, so we can go now." She said, holding up the bag of goods.

Naruto gave his usual hearty cheer, before the three of them left.

-

-

-

"That was pretty impressive, don't you think?"

"They're still rather reckless."

"The Inukage was always like that. Have you got the Genjutsu set up?"

"Yes. The Sannin should not give us trouble for now."

"They're staying over at that place. Let's get them all in one swoop."

"Very well."

-

-

-

The final path to the downhill came when the three returned to their hotel. The moment they set foot on their floor, everything went to hell.

Immediately, the three of them reeled back from the sheer force of killing intent that swamped the entire hallway. Whatever it was, it was practically trying to drown them in the feeling of utter despair that they were going to die.

_Shit…_Tetsuya mentally hissed. He turned to his two students. "We're leaving."

"Right!"

The moment they turned back to the stairwell, the entire staircase exploded from an impact, knocking the three of them to the ground. Amidst the dust, they could see a figure rising up and clutching to the surviving railings with one hand. The entire man was covered in some sort of coat that was decorated in red clouds on black cloth, while a reed hat, with paper strips on the back and a string with a bell attached to the brim, completely overshadowed the visage of their attack. The entire frame of the man exuded physical strength, while one hand easily hefted a gigantic bandaged weapon.

"Naruto, Haku, we're going through the window!"

The three of them quickly rushed away from the large weapon-wielding figure, and dashed down the empty hall. However, the Inukage's vision quickly saw something wrong, and rushed further past his two students, arm rushing through the lone sleeve to access his sword by his hip. Slashing at the air, the atmosphere warped and shimmered as another man jumped back from out thin air away from the attack. Tetsuya didn't let up though, and continued to attack the second man with practiced finesse, until the man suddenly twisted out of the way to shove a foot into the samurai's face with enough force to knock him backwards.

Naruto and Haku managed to grab their falling mentor before they all crashed to the ground, but now the unanimously dressed attackers stopped their escape on both sides. Tetsuya sourly rubbed the mark on the side of his face as he stared down the smaller of the two. _Started with Genjutsu, but he's still extremely proficient at hand to hand._

"Tetsuya-sensei, why are these men attacking us!" Haku frantically muttered, as she pointed her Bloodline weapon in either direction.

"Oi, sensei. Do these uniforms look familiar to you?" Naruto growled as he slung his sword off his shoulders.

"Never saw these guys before." Tetsuya muttered as he got to his feet.

The larger man behind them snickered as he carried his sword over his shoulder, "I never thought I'd see you as a teacher, Tetsuya."

"That voice…" Tetsuya's eye widened in realization, and then gave a grin of his own, "I didn't think we'd meet like this!"

"We'll like you said once, 'Shinobi, Samurai. Their lives are transient…'"

"'…and so are their friendships'." Tetsuya said, finishing his own phrase.

"Sensei! You know this bastard?" Naruto gaped.

Tetsuya gave a straight look at the large man who moved to remove the reed hat from his head, and he kept his sword pointed at him. "Yeah. Haku, Naruto. May I present to you my sparring buddy from Mist, who we both taught each other how to fight. Hoshigake… Kisame."

The reed hat was pulled off to reveal the face of either a man who became a shark, or a shark that became a man. He had blue skin and gray pointed hair, beady eyes, gill-like marks under them, and pointed teeth that were fixed in a shark-ish grin. Covering his forehead was the customary ninja head plate, but the normal Mist symbol was scored through with a deep gash that scratched the metal.

"It's been a long time, Inukage Tetsuya."

"Surprising how we meet."

The smaller uniformed man on the other side hummed in minor interest. "So you two do recognize each other. I must introduce myself then."

Pulling off his own hat, the smaller man looked much more normal. Deep lines were dug into either side of his nose, while bored eyes carried the mark of the Sharingan, the Uchiha Blood Limit technique.

"Uchiha Itachi."

"Uchiha?" Haku muttered in confusion. "I thought that they were all destroyed…"

"They are. I killed them all except for my younger brother."

Naruto spat in disgust, before speaking in a mostly fake uninterested tone, "So you're Sasuke-bastard's brother!"

"Oh? You know him? I hope he is doing well."

"He was, until I kicked his ass!"

"It's better that way. We'll be needing that strength after all, Naruto."

"Strength?" Tetsuya repeated. Kisame sneered.

"Yeah. We'll be taking Naruto now. He's valuable to us since he got the Kyuubi sealed in him."

"You're after the Kyuubi?"

"We're after all the Tailed-Beasts."

While rather selfish, Tetsuya's thoughts momentarily turned to his danger in light of this.

"Normally Tetsuya, I'd ask you to just hand over the brat. But I know you and your Samurai philosophy too well to think you'd just hand your responsibilities over. Tch. How much easier it'd be if you never met the boy!"

"Perhaps…" Tetsuya trailed off, before turning to his two students. "Naruto, Haku. It's a fight. I'm going to fight Kisame. You two handle that Uchiha guy. Remember, if Kisame is extremely dangerous, probably so is this other guy. Don't lose your concentration for anything… and don't look into his eyes. The Sharingan is dangerous."

"Yes, Tetsuya-sensei."

"Right! I'm going to kick his ass."

Tetsuya grinned before turning back to the Mist-nin, "Let's go, Kisame!"

The two swordsmen rushed down the hall, and when they connected, they gave experimental slashes at each other, most of the time each blow only connected with steel. The two backed away again.

"You've gotten better, Tetsuya."

"I was only a punk kid back then. I see you've increased your arm strength. For you to be able to carry a weapon that large with such a short handle…"

"Yeah. This is Sameheda. I'm sure you already figured out why it's called that."

"A series of small, scale-like blades compromising the surface instead of a large single blade. 'Shark Skin', indeed."

"Observant as ever."

"You could say that."

While the two old friends rushed at each other again, Itachi was idly making his way over to Haku and Naruto.

The swordswomen thrust her palms onto the ground and moisture quickly moved onto the walls, floors, and ceiling between Itachi and the two, where it quickly froze and encased the entire hallway between them in ice.

It probably won't stop him, but as long as more and more things took up his concentration, which meant more openings for them. Plus any chakra wasted in balancing would help.

Predictably, the Uchiha walked on the ice like it was never there. Naruto quickly rushed in, leaving Haku behind to control the battlefield. Naruto slashed and batted with his sword and steel-encased sheath, and every swing Itachi easily twisted out of each swing like the animal he was named after. Back flipping away from another, Itachi landed on the iced ground again only to be impaled by large shear of ice that burst through the ground. Naruto was tempted to cheer, but was shocked instead to find that the Itachi he was fighting the entire time just disappear into ninja smoke. Before he could even make another move, Itachi's hand reappeared and grabbed a whole lot of Naruto's face so the man could thrust the boy into the wall with enough force to shatter the plaster and ice.

"Naruto!" Haku screamed, but quickly understood what she needed to do. Thrusting her palm onto the ground again, the ice began to grow. Itachi had to release his grip on the boy as he watched a thick wall of ice separate the two. Turning around, the man gave an apathetic look at the girl while she let the wall also grow in front of her as well, completely cutting the hall in two. Quickly stretching out an arm, Haku pulled Naruto out from between the ice and the wall.

"Naruto, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just caught off-guard. I didn't even see when he switched himself with that clone… how long will that ice last."

"It's my best. If he uses fire techniques, it'll still hold for a while."

As for Tetsuya and Kisame, Tetsuya was playing hard-to-get. Kisame made sure to keep his swings wide and full and strength, as Sameheda was kept in Tetsuya's face. For the Inukage, he knew that he couldn't get close to Kisame at this rate, and he couldn't merely block the larger sword. Given Kisame's strength and the strength of the sword, it would probably just shatter Tetsutya's own, completely giving the fight to the former Mist-nin.

Fortunately, his eye that held Houkou had already seen a possible opening. Tetsuya rushed into range. Kisame quickly swung his massive bandaged weapon in a horizontal arc at Tetsuya' head. The Inukage did raise sword, but merely drove the point of his blade into the side of the bandages. The force of the swing contacted the metal further down the length of Sameheda, reducing the force. The attack was enough for bowl Tetsuya over, but he was counting on this and let himself roll through the motion, where he landed on his knees in front of Kisame's stomach, where he jabbed upwards.

_Shit._ Tetsuya swore internally as he saw already what he stabbed was just a clone made of water. The real Kisame was concealing himself in the water. Forcing chakra into the sword, Tetsuya stabbed downwards into the puddle, breaking through time and space to try and stab the man inside.

"Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu!" Kisame's voice echoed, and the puddle released a monstrous shark-shaped water projectile that traveled straight up and smashed into the ceiling, Tetsuya's face along with it. Kisame launched himself out of the water to see only bits of wood and ninja smoke buried in the ceiling above. Tetsuya for the most part was unharmed as he landed on the ground.

"Still only using Kawarimi?" Kisame smirked.

"It's the only thing I need to use."

"That's if you even have chakra!" Kisame roared and swiped at Tetsuya. It seemed easy to dodge, as the Inukage merely slid backwards a few inches to narrowly miss the attack before stabbing forwards. But as Kisame brought his sword in front to block, something felt off to Tetsuya.

_My strike… didn't feel as…firm._

Kisame noticed the look on his opponent's face, with a bit of smugness, "Sorry, Tetsuya. I know how much you hate foul play, but Sameheda is hungry, and it apparently likes your chakra!"

"What!"

Without warning, Tetsuya suddenly felt all his strength getting sapped through his arm, through the sword, and into the Kisame's weapon. _It eats chakra?_

With the lack of strength in his enemy, Kisame quickly knocked Tetsuya's sword aside and lunged downwards. The Inukage brought up his sword to block, even if his limbs felt like they were light and marshmallow-ly. Even with his effort, Tetsuya gritted his teeth and watched Sameheda grow lower and lower.

Jeez! This is just the tip of his sword, and he's already pushing me down! I can't even feel enough chakra to Kawarimi…

"Like I remind you…"

A good foot of Sameheda fell on Tetsuya's shoulder. _Shit!_

"Sameheda doesn't cut… IT SHAVES!"

Pulling back fiercely, the scales making up the surface of the large sword ripped through its own bandages and through Tetsuya's shoulder, tearing muscle and flying blood, much to the shocked pain of the one-eyed warrior, who dropped his blade.

Kisame chuckled a bit at the man on his hand and knees. "So what are you going to do now, Tetsuya? You've lost your good arm. You can't win."

"Sensei! We're coming!" Naruto shouted down the hall.

"No! Stay there, and keep that Uchiha guy out of this!"

"B-but you lost your good arm!"

"Shut up! Neon Ranger was a leftie, so that means so can I!" Tetsuya roared, and reached for his sword with his still perfect left. Standing up, he stared at Kisame with a straight face.

"Let's go Kisame."

"You won't win."

"I'll figure something out."

Kisame immediately swung his sword into Tetsuya, who even with his sword blocking, was crushed into the side of the wall.

"Sensei!"

"Tetsuya-sensei!"

"I said STAY!" The weakened samurai snarled before ducking under another blow that smashed into his previous condition in the wall. On the ground, Tetsuya launched a foot upwards at Kisame's jaw, which was quickly blocked again by his scaly sword. The Inukage rolled away from another falling blow, Kisame laughing all the while.

"Pitiful! You're more dependent on chakra than I thought! Your entire speed has dropped! What's happened to you over the years, Tetsuya? Do I still surpass you?"

"Does it really matter?" Tetsuya duly responded before charging in again, sword backwards in his hand. Several kunai fell from the sleeve into Tetsuya's poorly functioning right arm, where he threw them at the shark-looking man. With a wave of Sameheda, all the blades were knocked away, giving Tetsuya the opening he needed to flip through the air, as he tried to slash down at Kisame's head. Kisame merely backed away as Tetsuya landed an empty attack, and swung upwards from a low position, like an animal testing a larger prey. Kisame easily guarded each slower attack, until full on stopped an upward slash with the brunt of his sword.

It was Tetsuya's mistake, as his eyes widened in shock that Kisame used the sheer force of his arm strength to shove his sword down, smashing into Tetsuya's chest and crushing him into the ground. Kisame took his sweet time to smash his sword again and again into the enlarging crater, crushing the unmoving samurai inside deeper and deeper.

"No! Sensei!"

"Tetsuya-sensei!"

Kisame looked down the hall to his quarry and his friend that were standing in front of a thick wall of ice. Naruto looked something halfway between streaming tears and snarling for blood. Haku didn't cry, but the temperature seemed to drop by just meeting that dark look.

"I'll _kill _you!"

Kisame snorted, "Don't hurt yourself thinking that. I'll probably slice of your limbs and keep you alive for the trip back." Kisame hoisted his sword over his shoulder and began walking past the hole in the ground, towards his sword-drawn prey.

Kisame heard the snapping of weight on crumpled wood. Turning around, the mist-nin saw his formerly defeated pulling himself out of the hole with his arms, coughing and spluttering on his hands and knees, while he clutched his sword in his ruined arm.

"Tch… you _still_ want to fight?" Kisame sneered. "This won't even take five seconds."

When Tetsuya staggered to his feet, head lolling downwards, the silence in the air just seemed _wrong_ to Kisame. It was the feeling of being in the center of the storm. Any moment, everything would go to hell.

The moment passed. A great force flooded over everything like a wind trying to blow everything away. Kisame stepped back shock.

What the hell? What the hell's this feeling! This malevolence , this chakra… it's all coming from him?

Tetsya gave a wide eye gleam and a grin that showed he could kill anything he wanted.

A moment later, Kisame felt something fly over his shoulder, cleaving a great gash in it. Turning around, Kisame watched Tetsuya suddenly behind him rushing with a sword in his right arm he didn't even seem to notice was torn up. Having no time for anything else, Kisame held Sameheda to defend against the rising strike.

The sheer force Tetsuya's blade clashing into the scaly surface already blew Kisame away several feet, tossing him through the air until he landed clumsily on his feet. Kisame felt blood on his face.

The attack didn't connect… but the force was enough to hit me? What the hell is going on? Just a second ago he was a corpse in the ground, and now this?

Tetsuya was grinning, full of blood lust. His bound eye was bleeding white chakra from behind the eye patch into the air like so much smoke.

White chakra? What the hell is he?

"What's the matter Kisame? Did you slow down for no reason? Ha!" The berserk Inukage sneered.

"Shut up… you're the one who's gotten faster." Kisame muttered quietly to himself.

"This feeling… I don't know what it is, but it feels good. I don't hurt a single bit… and I'm not the least afraid of losing to some ass-hat like you!"

"Shut up!" Kisame snarled, hands folding into seals. "Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu!" Putting fingers to his mouth, the Mist-nin spat out a shark-shaped stream of water that hurtled towards Tetsuya.

The samurai merely raised his sword thrumming with the white chakra, and the projectile exploded on its surface with no effect.

Kisame frowned. Again!

Another projectile. This time, Tetsuya batted the Shark Bullet aside, letting the water smash into the wall beside him, sending debris everywhere.

Kisame opted to try one more time.

The force of Tetsuya's new chakra in the room multiplied, the entire projectile collapsing with it. Kisame also collapsed to his knees, the feeling of the whole weight of the world crushing down on his back.

Naruto and Haku also had the unfortunate luck of being sprawled on the ground. Naruto managed to raise one eye at the man before him. "Sensei… what are you…?"

"It's over Kisame! It's my turn!" Tetsuya roared, and charged down the hall in a blur of color.

The ruined crater in the ground between the two swordsmen suddenly exploded. Before Tetsuya could stop, Itachi had already burst through the ground and had a disturbingly firm grip on the samurai's neck. The force of the stopped momentum was enough to kick the samurai's legs into the air. While Tetsuya gave a shocked look at Itachi, he found himself looking into those red eyes…

And he felt himself falling…

…Falling...

…Falling...

…Falling...

…Falling...

…**Falling...**

…**Falling...**

…**Falling...**

…**Falling...?**

**Tetsuya's motion suddenly stopped again as he found himself certainly not in the Inn he was fighting in last. He was now pinned against a rudimentary cross in some… place. All the colors in this place were inverted, though. Save for himself, who was colored in a single dull black tone, everything was painted red, with the sky marked with a red moon.**

"**In Tsukyomi… Time and Space is controlled by me." Itachi's flat voice noted as he appeared before the trapped samurai, sword in hand. "For the next 72 hours, you will receive utmost pain you have never felt before."**

**Itachi's movement was swift. Tetsuya coughed as he felt the impossibly cold steel enter into his lung. Itachi took his time pulling out the sword and reentering it in another carefully aimed portion of his body, ensuring each stab perfect efficiency, the most pain derived with the least amount of force.**

**Tetsuya wasn't sure if he was dying or not, but if fucking hurt like hell. He didn't know how long it was, but he suddenly saw something unexpected out of the corner of his eye.**

**Himself. About the get stabbed.**

"**In Tsukyomi… Time and Space is controlled by me." The Itachi over there repeated, stabbing that Tetsuya, while the one over on the last Tetsuya stabbed again, the pain multiplying.**

"**This… is all fake!" The samurai managed to his as he felt another a third sword enter his side, as another Tetsuya appeared, with a second Itachi approaching each cross to assist the other.**

"**This world may be fake, but the pain is real."**

**And the pain continued. It dragged on forever and ever, more Tetsuyas, more Itachis, more pain, more swords, all the while, whatever Tetsuya could call his consciousness around here was just barely trying to hold its sanity in this world gone mad**

**Eventually, it stopped for a few precious seconds, as Itachi and Tetsuya were one and alone again.**

"**Congratulations, Inukage Tetsuya."**

"**For what?"**

"**You have survived one second of torture here in Tsukyomi."**

**WHAT?**

**A small mob of the damned men with their blood red eyes and swords appeared in a growing circle around the trapped prisoner, ever approaching.**

"**71 Hours… 59 Minutes… and 59 Seconds left…"**

**No! No! Wait! Calm down! You're smart! This isn't real! You're the expert in things not real! That's how you survived.**

**Concentrate… this isn't real… **

"**It will not work."**

…**You just have to search out for that true feeling. That feeling of that sword in your hand…**

**Amidst the blades that flayed his skin, Tetsuya shut his eye, trying to see through the pain.**

**This isn't real…This isn't real! THIS ISN'T REAL!**

**THIS ISN'T…**

"…REAL!" Tetsuya screamed, and slashed violently at Itachi, who jumped away easily from the attack, letting Tetsuya drop to the floor.

"You survived Tsukyomi. Unprecedented to do so without Sharingan. Interesting."

Tetsuya swayed backwards, as he felt the world spin around him. The pain was still lighting up his body, telling him that muscles were pierced, lungs punctured, stomach perforated, skin shredded. But it was all fake, it was all genjutsu. It was an effort just willing that instead of the obvious.

"It's not real… It's not real… It's… not…"

He fell backwards into the arms of his students, who set him down gently in their laps.

"Sensei! Come on! Snap out of it!"

"Tetsuya-sensei! Don't leave us!"

"It's…It's not… not… It's not…"

"Sensei!"

Tetsuya felt his world grow deaf and watched his single eye close to the noiseless cries of his students. He couldn't help it.

All in all… this was a bad day…

"SENSEI!" Naruto cried into the air, cradling his still mentor's head, spilling tears.

"This… is impossible… it can't end like this…" Haku mumbled wide-eyed. She was too shocked to begin crying yet.

Down the hall Kisame brushed off some of the wet blood off his shoulder and walked over to Itachi. "Goddamn, those kids make a lot of unnecessary noise. I'm going to kill the bitch and slice off the limbs on the Kyuubi kid. What do you think?"

"Do as you like. I'm only concerned with the delivery of a living Jinchuruuki."

"That's settled then."

Naruto glared back at them, "Bastards! I fucking rip you to shreds!"

"Heh, I'd like to see you try. Your probably not even half of what Tetsuya is, and I took him out fine."

The mention of that only brought a cry of anger from Naruto. Within moments, the feeling of the oppressive chakra in the hallway appeared again, with more force than ever. Kisame was starting to get used to the feeling though. This coming from a punk kid didn't scare him.

"The same feeling again! How interesting! So who rubbed off on who?" Kisame sneered at the boy who was crouched on the ground on all fours like an animal, eyes bloody red. Everything about him was starting to morph. Fangs, sharpening nails. Even the whisker-like birth marks on the side of his face was growing darker and wider, till they made the face look a strange, fitting, feral grimness only Naruto seemed to be able to pull off.

_Naruto? You too?_ Haku stared. She was starting to feel a little left out now.

"**You fucking PRICK! I shove your Goddamn sword down your throat!"**

Kisame grinned and was about to welcome the challenge when Itachi interrupted. "Kisame. The Kyuubi is using the boy's anger as a catalyst to force his chakra through. At this rate, there is a possibility that the Seal might warp or break. End this quickly."

"Tch, fine. Just when I was having fun."

Naruto was already moving in a blink of an eye across the hallway, giving Kisame barely enough time to raise his sword to block the animal that was trying to scrabble over the surface of the sword and claw at his face. "No self control, brat! You don't learn anything from Tetsuya, do you?" Kisame shouted a command to his sword then, and Naruto, clinging to the surface, suddenly felt all the chakra rushing out of him too. In an instant, Kisame swung his sword, batting the boy down the hall again, and knocking him into Haku. The blow was hard against his skull, and while the sheer force of the chakra kept him self from having his face torn off, the blow rendered his unconsciousness as well, leaving Haku the only able party left. As she pushed her helpless friend off her, a shadow loomed atop her. Looking up, she watched Kisame raise his sword.

"This is IT!"

Just then, ninja smoke exploded between the two of them, and Kisame's sword smashed against the steel arm guards of an absolutely huge bipedal toad, instead of the expected female samurai. Kisame swore once more and jumped back.

"Too late."

Haku suddenly felt a presence behind her, and turned around, stuck somewhere between shock, surprise and disgust of him of all people.

Jiraiya the 50-year-old porn-peddling pervert posed like a kabuki actor, "Listen up, you unruly punks! You trick the great Jiraiya once with a woman under a spell, and now you attempt to damage a priceless specimen in front of the connoisseur of all female forms! You now face the glorious wrath of Gallant Jiraiya."

"Goddamn it. So now what, Itachi?"

"Fighting him would result in mutual destruction. The others would not be fond of a loss of two. Let us retreat for now."

"Got it."

Jiraiya snorted, hands flipping through a complex series of seals, "Your not going anywhere! Gamaguchi Shibari no Jutsu!" Smashing his palms into the ground, the entire hallway was suddenly encased in a tube of flesh, "You girl! Don't move unless you want to die!" Haku just watch dumbfounded as the muscle walls contracted inwards towards the escaping dark-cloaked pair, while tendrils chased them, determined to bind them to death. Just as it seemed the walls would crush the men, a shuddering explosion rocked the far wall around the corner.

Jiraiya glared, and chased down the hall, leaving Haku alone for a few precious seconds.

I have to get these two out of here! I can't trust that man! Haku immediately started calling more ice onto the floor so that dragging her two unconscious friends would be easier.

Too late. The old man returned from around the corner, grim look in his eyes. "Looks like they got away. As for you girl-"

"Shut up! Leave us alone! I-I don't know what you want with us, but your not taking Tetsuya-sensei or Naruto anywhere!" Haku shouted while letting a sword condensate into her hands.

Jiraiya sighed rather loudly at that. The last thing he needed to handle right now at the end of his patience were hysterical kids who wanted to be a hero.

For a 50-year-old man, Haku didn't even get a chance to blink as he slid behind her and smashed the side of his hand into the back of her neck. She didn't even realize she blacked out.

So Jiraiya snorted as he saw the third samurai crumple to the ground, leaving the entire party unconscious. Looks like trouble was picking up, seeing how things were.

Still, I didn't expect to see a Uzumaki brat again. He may be useful.

The first thing he needed to do was to get them all back to Konoha, where they'd be the safest.

Now, if he could just find another set of hands-

A kunai whirred past his face, distracting him long enough for a sleek form to jump into view, foot first.

"DYNAMIC! ENTRRRRYYYYY!"

"What the-"

Smack.

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Next Chapter: Is there no cure for the Sleeping Sickness? Is there no cure at all? There is. She just happens to be touring the world as we speak.

A/N: Everybody should come to Hong Kong. We celebrate **both** Labor Day and Buddha's Birthday on the same week! Not only do you get Japanese, American, and Chinese products in the same place, you get twice the number of holidays and celebrations here! It's because of that I get to have my two AP's taken a week apart, thus the breathing space I get to write this chapter!

The only thing is the horrid TV commercials. Seriously, Canadian and American commercials are hundreds of times better.


	12. Princess: Harsh Homecomings

That Al fellow that reviewed, that makes it the second time someone noted the fluctuating power levels of the main protagonists. This obviously is an issue I'll have to address eventually. However, since my story is pretty set right now, any wins or loses can't be changed. Oh yes, about him despising Tetsuya?

I'm very happy about it. Truly.

A true character with a real personality can't please everyone. In fact, this is the reason why Sasuke, being hated as he is, only proves how well developed he is. Poorly created personalities aren't disliked; they're merely forgotten since they can't impact the reader. For someone to say that he hates Tetsuya's decisions only proves my work on him has paid off. About him selling Hinata? Well, whatever. Tetsuya never had any love lost between him and ninjas. Yet…

And Naruto is not B-Level. That was talking about Tetsuya.

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"Damnit, He was **right here…**" Sasuke growled out aloud.

Sakura momentarily flicked her green eyes off her unconscious teacher to her partner/loveinterest/crush/boyfriendinherimagination/etc. and shivered at the sight of his eyes.

Never before did she see such look of sheer hate. Sure Sasuke-kun was brooding, he could be mean tempered, he could be extremely introverted, but never give off such strong emotions before.

She had no idea what to say. 'I'm terribly sorry the brother who wiped out your clan just slipped out from under your nose! Don't worry, I'm sure he'll pop up again! I feel exactly the same way you do!'

Yeah, like that would work.

Sakura sighed despondently. In less than a month the entire world seemed to decide to throw everything at her, instead of deciding to space it out more evenly along her life. She goes through the Chuunin exams, which was hell-bent on baptizing her in blood and steel (It managed to get her hair), fails the preliminaries to the third portion, then Konoha gets sneak-attacked by both Sand **and** Sound ninja, laying a good deal of the city to waste.

And just when Sakura thought she and her team finally got through the worst, she suddenly gets a summon today, so that the two genin could be grimly told that 'Hatake Kakshi, your sensei, has engaged an enemy for the protection of Konoha, and has suffered injuries inhibiting his service.'

That pretty much meant that Kakashi was stuck in a coma, and they didn't even know how to wake him up or when he would wake up.

And to top it all of, Fate just decided the person to do their teacher in had to be the same person Sasuke-kun had devoted his entire life to hating and attempting to kill.

It was like the guy you really hated just walking up to you, kicking you in the ass with a cheerful "Yo", and walking off while you idiotically smile in another direction, until some other guy walking by mentions off-handedly 'Wasn't that guy the guy you…?'

Now the boy had turned into something entirely new, something even the pink-haired kunoichi wasn't sure how to relate to.

Goddamnit fate! What the hell is wrong with you? If I ever see you again I'm going to fucking- 

Sakura sighed louder, trying to move those uncontrollable internal thoughts to some other place for the moment. The noise seemed to irritate Sasuke, who gave her a black look strong enough to make her jump back a little.

"What!" He snarled.

"N-nothing! I was just thinking to myself! Sasuke-kun?"

"What…?" Sasuke-kun muttered.

"Maybe… maybe it would be better if we left for a while? You know… recollect ourselves… or something?"

"…Whatever." The Uchiha walked silently and tensely towards the door and left, making sure to slam it extra hard, making his abandoned teammate wince a little from the noise, before she chased after.

Shutting the door in a less extravagant manner, Sakura re-emerged back into the hallways of Konoha hospital. It already been a while since the Sand/Sound attack, so things had settled in the hospital, but it still was quite packed with casualties.

Twisting her head around a few times, she managed to catch Sasuke's disappearing and stalking form, obviously taking the route back to the front doors out. She shrugged slightly, but chased after him until they both were walking at an even pace.

As they rounded the stairwell onto the ground floor, they stopped at the sounds of shouting.

"Get the fuck off! Hey-hey! Get your goddamn hands off my weapons! Get off! Hey! You bastards! Get off Haku! OI! Get off my Sensei! God-Stop! Don't take them away! Fuckers! Get off me! HAKU! SENSEI!"

Sakura watched, unsure how to react to the sight of a familiar orange and blonde enemy wrestling in the grip of a ANBU, while stretching out his hand and grabbing at the air between him and two other ninja, who were dragging away the still forms of the girl and the older man who accompanied him.

"…Naruto…"

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Princess: Harsh Homecomings 

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If life was expecting Naruto to bawl at the shit thrown at him, they really needed a refresher course.

He was Uzumaki Naruto! He'd never wimp out and cry at anything, no matter what! Even if it was the sight of his mentor dying in his lap, or his best friend being dragged away from him, or his being trapped in enemy territory, weaponless, ready to mark the end of his life…

Naruto shivered at the effort the keep the wet eyes from overflowing, as he death glared the white washed locked door that kept him temporarily imprisoned in the empty hospital ward for the past few days.

A few deep breaths later, and he was reasonably calm enough to realize attacking the ANBU that emerged through the opened door was certain death.

"You are expected. So don't do anything stupid like trying to run away" A voice came from behind the expressionless mask.

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto muttered darkly as he rose from the ground, brushing his behind, and trying to rid himself of rather poor memories of his last encounter with ANBU, back in the cart, in the dead of the night of the forest, so many years ago…

Naruto slammed the door, trying to get the loud noise to shake out the thoughts. Apparently he was being led to the Hokage tower that was near the hospital. He figured as much.

"_He's still alive?"_ Something hissed behind the blonde. He glowered.

More voices started to gather around the boy's homecoming.

"What the hell is it doing back here?" 

"_Where did he get those clothes? Guy who gave it to him must have been pretty stupid-_"

Naruto turned to the man, teeth bared, "You have a problem with somebody having more charity that you ever will?"

"Why you-"

The ANBU's hand returned to grab Naruto by the back of his orange haori before any more was said, "Stop standing around."

"H-HEY! Get your hands off me!"

Naruto was manhandled all the way to the red building, up the stairs, and shoved through the doors, where he stumbled and fell onto his face in some sort of lounge.

"Naruto!"

The boy in question immediately jerked his head up at the voice, "Haku! You're okay!"

The two rushed into each other's arms with a heart-felt hug.

"You're okay!" Naruto repeated. He noted the beginning of dark rings under the girl's eyes.

"Just a few paranoid nights", Haku gave a half-hearted smile, "You know how it is with ninjas. They're paid for murdering you in your sleep."

Naruto then noticed something black poking out of the front of her robes. "Haku… what's that?"

"Oh? This? Their way of security precautions for me." Haku answered, pulling back her robe slightly to reveal painted lines on her chest. "It's a seal to disrupt chakra flow. This way I can't form ice into dangerous shapes. I can't take this off by myself either."

"I see…"

"Um…" another voice cautiously tried to intervene before the scene got too touching to ruin.

Naruto indignantly pointed his finger at the two standing by the wall, "And what the hell are you two doing here?"

The blonde wasn't particularly good at remembering names of people you only met once, but he did his best. He remembered the man best as "Scar-Faced Guy Who Didn't Want to Fight Him When Naruto was Stealing the Forbidden Scroll", and he remembered the woman as "Nasty Genjutsu Lady Who Trained Hyuuga Hinata, Dog-Face, Flea-Infested Boy, and Made a Tree Fall On Sensei"

"For Identification" The woman sharply answered, quite devoid of reaction to the pointed finger.

Just then the door Naruto entered through opened once more with another ANBU and two more ninja. "Homura-sama, Koharu-sama. I have brought the final witnesses." The ninja spoke into the air, apparently addressing nobody.

Haku, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke achieved eye-contact.

"AGH! YOU?" Naruto and Sakura shoved their fingers at each other and burned each other with their burning eyes.

"Hello." Haku politely greeted with a tilt of her head and a smile.

"Hn." Sasuke snorted and found the wall to the side more interesting to look at.

"Naruto, what are you doing here? You're an enemy!" Sakura accused.

"Yeah, I guess my being knocked unconscious and being locked in a hospital room for the past couple of days didn't clue me in enough, huh?"

"Wait… why the special treatment?"

Naruto turned away with a grim look, "None of your business."

Before Sakura could start the fight again, another door, beside the two elder ninja leaning against the wall opened up, revealing an aged couple, man and woman. The man was identified with his beard and glasses, and the woman by her tightly bunned hair and squinted eyes. The old man looked everyone in the room once over, before giving a customary cough for attention, "I've seen you've grown in your absence Uzumaki Naruto. Since you have never met us, I think we should introduce ourselves. I am Mitokado Homura. The woman beside me is Utatane Koharu. We are senior members of the village council in Konoha."

_Council members! And we were escorted here by ANBU! All this just because of Naruto…?_ Sakura in the background, did little to hide the surprised look on her face at this turn of events. Her teammate, inwardly attentive to all things, noted this to himself as well.

Haku spoke up just then, "I'm not exactly stupid, but I'm curious. Most likely the reason you're here is because of Naruto's… condition. However, due to the severity of the situation, why is the Kage of your village not present?"

The temperature and volume of the room fell a couple thousand times just about then, as every ninja aside the Council members, and possibly Sasuke, gave a pained look."

Koharu answered crisply. "Sandaime, Sarutobi has been killed in the recent attack on our village. I assume you have seen the damages on the homes in the area."

"I see…"

Naruto snorted. "So the old man finally kicked it? Pathetic."

"Don't say that about Sandaime-sama! He was a great man!" Scar-faced ninja countered vehemently.

"Yeah? Great? I suppose greatness is measured by sending his little flunkies to kill me in an accident when I was a kid." Naruto frowned.

Before another clash occurred, by scar-face continuing to defend the dead man's image, Homura suddenly interjected. "The matter of that point of the past is not the concern. We have called all of you here for a reason."

"And what's that?" The blonde samurai sneered. Haku remained quiet.

Koharu turned her closed eyes to the scar-face first. "Umino Iruka. Your report claims that you engaged in direct combat with the assailants on the night of the attempted theft of the Forbidden Scroll, am I correct?"

Scar-face Iruka scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Well, yes, before Mizuki revealed himself."

Koharu nodded her head at the two fugitive-samurai, "Are these two, along with another detainee, Inukage Tetsuya, the ones who committed the crime?"

"Well, I don't know this Tetsuya, but I recognize these two as the one."

"I see." The old woman turned to the Genjutsu using woman next, "Yuuhi Kurenai, your report about that escort mission with the businessman Hanzo, also spoke of being attacked by skilled warriors who used swords. Are these the ones?"

"Without a doubt." Kurenai easily replied, betraying no expression."

Koharu turned to the two Genin of Team 7 finally, "Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke. In normal circumstances, we would have called upon your teacher, but given the situation, you must remember that whatever transpires in this room **must** be kept confidential. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Koharu-sama." Sakura automatically anwered.

"And you, Sasuke?"

"…Aa…"

"If that is the case, in your escort mission with the bridge-builder, Tazuna, your report mentions that you were caught in a feud between a group of Yojimbo and their employers that resulted in their simultaneous destruction. Did that really happen?"

"W-what?" Sakura blinked.

"There has been a matter of conflicting reports-"

"So what! We're just here to talk about a problem in paperwork!" Naruto interrupted with a huff of his voice. He was quickly silenced by the female council member's scalding look alone.

"You will speak when addressed too, child." Turning back to Sakura, she continued, "Your teacher's report mentions the feud between samurai, but samurai of similar description attack Kurenai's team not long after. Speak quickly, child, this is important."

"Well… I… ah…" Sakura tried to begin, but the scalding look proved not only to silence but to also reveal.

"It didn't exactly happen that way…"

"Oh? Elaborate."

"We were attacked once before arriving at a country by a missing-nin named Zabuza, and again later at the bridge itself by Zabuza again and a samurai who called himself Tetsuya. We fought before that Tetsuya was stopped by these two," Sakura motioned to the two samurai "Who told him they were being betrayed by their employers. Not soon after, the four of them fought against their contractors, who did plan on betraying them, and they killed most of their attackers. They all escaped after that, from what I remember…" Sakura finished somewhat mumbling.

"Is this true Sasuke?" Koharu turned to the silent boy.

"…All I remember is being nearly killed by that Tetsuya my teammate mentions." Sasuke muttered. Naruto turned his livid nature fully on the boy just then.

"How dare you! Fucker! Don't you dare try to paint Sensei as some sort of criminal!"

"That's all your sensei is worth in this world… criminal… or wandering bum."

"You little…"

"SILENCE!" Homura again stopped the conflict. "Naruto, you and your associate party have committed several crimes against the people of Konoha in your lifetime. Leaving our village, coming under the tutelage of a known felon, attempted theft of high-level documents, purposely interfering with Konoha's missions, assaulting and attempted murder on our people… Given the severity of the crimes, we could very well put you to death."

"Samurai have transient lives. People like us will never be afraid of death-threats." Naruto growled.

"I see. We are however, prepared to wipe the slate clean."

Sounds of shock, but none attempted to argue the choices of the two old council members.

"There is however, one condition to be met by you if wish for you and your friends to not appear on the Bingo Books any longer."

"And what's that." Naruto snorted.

"You are to remove from your mind, any further notions of training under samurai tutelage. You are not to associate with your comrades any further. You are to remain inside Konoha's walls again, reinstated as a citizen of this village.

-

-

-

"I've… never seen anything like this before." Gai muttered in surprise.

"I'd suppose." Jiraiya muttered.

Gai, as being officially one of the few people in the history of the world to actually surprise and actually achieve contact with the Great Jiraiya, he was now temporarily privy into the artist's investigations, ever since his assistance in carrying back the three unconscious samurai back to Konoha.

The two were seated around a hospital bed, which held the dormant Tetsuya, dressed in a hospital gown and devoid of his regular clothes.

Including his eye patch.

Gai looked on in marveled shock and the intricate seal lines that were carved into the lids of the sleeping samurai's right eye. Jiraiya was more analytical, with a hand rubbing his chin.

"An Elephant Seal on each lid, concentric circling seals instead of a pupil and iris on the eyeball itself… a unique design… though the theory seems similar to what Stone's sealing specialists would use…"

"Jiraiya-sama… this man is as you say, obviously acting as a container for something but what…"

"Most likely… Gai, assure me that everything stays in this room, but are you familiar with the Inukage Family?"

"I will keep the confidence, but I am unfamiliar with this… Inukage… clan? Ninjas?"

Jiraiya harrumphed "Pah! Far from it! The story goes, that before us ninjas appeared on the scene war was mostly carried out through samurai."

"Yes?"

"The Inukage were a particularly renowned family, but overtime, as ninja became more useful, the samurai way of life began to decay. The Inukage themselves were for the most part reverted into a well off family with some honorary titles. The Inukages' renown weren't for their fighting skills though, more for the legend that followed the family."

"And what was that legend?"

"Apparently they were, before time, appointed guardians of an ancient tree on their ancestral properties. Mostly just keeping the tree clean and all that. However, in recent history…"

"Yes?"

"The last surviving Inukage family has been completely wiped out."

"What! How?"

"They were all murdered, the story goes. Apparently, ninjas of some sort. They were after something. But the local stories by the people say when they arrived, they only found bloody corpses and a single crying child."

Gai nodded, "I see… and am I to assume that this man here, who quietly regains his youthful energy, was that same boy? That does not explain the eye, though."

"Hold on, one more legend from me. Now, you know of the Biju? The Great Tailed-Demons that roam this land?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well let me tell you of a particular one I think would be interesting. Gobi, the Five Tails, known as Houkou. A terrible demon in the shape of a dog, whose tails carried the five elements of the world: fire, water, lighting, earth, and wind. The mutt apparently spent most of his life residing in a great ancient tree."

"Ancient tree? You don't mean…"

"Inu. Kage. Dog. Shadow. 'Those who live in the shadow of the dog'. The Inukage were the guardians of the very same tree that housed Houkou. The pieces fall together very nicely, don't they, Gai? This man's heritage and the seal on his eye, the fact that ninjas attacked his home for no reason, why he lives a life of wandering from what I hear… why he picked up ostracized children like Naruto and that girl."

"This man… carries Houkou in him?"

Jiraiya hummed in acknowledgement. "This man is exactly the same as Naruto. Well, perhaps he doesn't have as great a potential as that brat, but you understand. Houkou was also known as the "God of Illusions". If Itachi's technique really relies on Genjutsu, that would explain why this Tetsuya fellow survived."

Two Jinchuriki traveling together? This man is going to find himself in the middle of a storm very soon… Jiraiya mused. Gai had been thinking aloud at this point, as well. 

"His condition is remarkably similar to my greatest of great rivals, Hatake Kakashi. But what are we to do now? We don't have any medical resources to treat these people, and our forces are too thin to try and find anyone with that skill."

Jiraiya gave a smirk as he adjusted his horned head plate, "I wouldn't worry about that."

"Huh?"

"The way things have fallen… I might have found myself with a most interesting opportunity to get two birds with one stone…"

-

-

-

"What! Fucking no way! Why the hell would I ever go back to a place that wants me dead!" Naruto snarled.

"'Why' is not our concern. 'Will' is the matter of hand."

"And I certainly fucking will not! What the hell is wrong with you! One year you want me dead, the next you want me cooped up because I'm so precious to you! The wilds were safer than you guys ever will be! I'm out of here!"

Naruto stormed through the doors, unstopped by the ANBU that were concealed, due to Koharu's subtle hand motion to desist. Haku quickly turned back to the two council members.

"He has one day to clear his head and decide. Girl, I assume you care enough to warn him of that?" Homura said.

Haku was already gone before council members called for their dismissal.

Sakura sighed, "Well I guess that's it for today, huh, Sasuke-kun? Sasuke-kun?"

She turned her head.

Sasuke-kun had already disappeared.

-

-

-

Another day about to set. The sight of the red clouds did little to cheer Naruto's conscience. Predictably, his feet had taken him back to the illustrious Naruto Swing one more time, where he sat once more, letting the rhythmic motions quiet his mind a little.

"Hey, you." Sasuke's voice suddenly interrupted, eliciting a dark look from Naruto on his swing.

"Don't 'hey you' me, you bastard." Naruto muttered as he watched the Uchiha march up the streets to the Naruto Swing. In a moment, the boy was already grabbing Naruto by the shirt and pulling him face to face.

"Why are you getting this special treatment?"

Naruto sneered, "What, jealous?"

"Tell me!"

"I don't have time for this shit! I don't know if sensei's dead, and I've been locked up in a room, and all because of your brother-" Naruto accidentally let slip the last part while in the rant, angering Sasuke that much more

"What! You know Itachi?"

"He fucking ruined my life! Now he's out to try and get me!"

"Bullshit! Why would he care about you?" Sasuke was shouting.

Why was Sasuke's entire universe giving a golden crown to this… this… brat that popped out of nowhere

"And why would you care about the affections of the guy who murdered your entire family?"

"You wouldn't understand why he kept me alive… you're too stupid."

"I wouldn't want to understand people like you anyway." Naruto said as he frowned. "I bet you want to kill him don't you. Fuck, I bet he just kept you alive to be his little living trophy of what he did that night. So everyday you go on hating him, and everybody who sees you hating just go 'hey that's the kid Itachi felt like keeping alive'. Stop caring for a guy who probably doesn't even remember you-"

"SHUT UP! WHY WOULD HE KEEP ME ALIVE? WHY DOES HE CARE MORE ABOUT YOU?" Sasuke screamed, fist back and suddenly forward into Naruto's face, knocking him backwards over the swing.

"Fuck! Stop pissing about how that bastard wants to ruin MY LIFE!" Naruto leapt back at Sasuke, forcing the two on the ground, fists flying, snarls insults, blood, bruises.

Somewhere along the way, a foot got caught in the aged ropes of the Naruto swing, ripping the ancient ride to the ground.

"Naruto! Sasuke-kun! Stop it!" Slender arms inexplicably pulled the two apart. Sakura had the most confused look. "What happened!"

"Why would you care?" Naruto snorted once more. Sakura was silent at that.

"Well, whatever. I was in a bad mood and I told genius here the truth. If you people here can't even handle that… whatever. This place sucks." Naruto stood and brushed off what he could. He gave a quick look to the ruined swing for a moment before leaping up onto a roof and disappearing out of sight.

"Sasuke-kun, what happened?"

The Uchiha just sat, one revelation sitting in his mind.

What has happened… have I gotten so weak that He's… forgotten me…? 

…_what must I do to get stronger…?_

_-_

_-_

_-_

"Do I know you?" The old cook of Ichiraku looked at the orange-clad boy with a bruised face and a bad mood so dark you could have literally seen the storm cloud sitting above his head.

"No… Pork Ramen, please…"

"Okay…" The Cook decided he knew when people wanted to be alone and went off the complete the order, though he had a feeling it would be left untouched.

A larger figure just then pulled away the flaps in front of his face and smirked when he saw Naruto.

"I had a feeling you'd be here." Jiraiya smugly noted.

"Do you want a medal?"

"No need to be impudent with me, chick!"

"Shut up… who are you anyways…?"

"Me?" Jiraiya mock-asked, as his hands found themselves flapping the sides of his vest arrogantly before seating himself. "Why, Gallant Jiraiya of course, Novelist… and Sannin."

"Sannin?" Naruto glared at him out of the corner of his eye.

"One of the three great ninjas trained by the Third Hokage, Sandaime."

"So you always were a Konoha ninja?"

"Naw… I retired. But I keep in touch once in a while."

"Great. And did they tell you to spy on me as well?"

"Who needs to spy on you? Everytime you shout 'Uzumaki', you'll get heads turning in every direction."

"…Why did you bring me back here?"

"Safer here, of course."

"If you ask me, it's safer out there."

"Ha, safer in the same wilds that brought your master to his knees?"

Naruto didn't answer to that. Jiraiya sighed.

"If you're worried about Tetsuya, he's still alive."

Naruto turned in shock, "He is?"

"He's stuck in a coma, though…"

"Fuck… and I'm trapped here, while your damn elders want me to stay."

"You know Naruto… there might be a solution to this problem…"

"Hm?"

"You know, Konoha's without a Hokage, and they even went so far as to suggest **me** take the position!" Jiraiya harrumphed.

"What, don't want to be known one of the most powerful people in the country?"

"Hokage, me! I'm too free spirited for that, but they don't have any other choice… unless…"

"What's this got to do with me?"

"Hush, I'm getting to the point. There's another Sannin like me, who would be much more suited to the task of Hokage. Tsunade."

"So why don't they go and find her?"

"She's also left Konoha for years. Who knows where she could be? No manpower currently."

"I'm almost moved to tears." Naruto sarcastically muttered.

"However, if someone volunteered, say, a wanted felon… perhaps the councilors are willing to look kindly upon said felon?"

"Tch, I'm not convinced. Why should I go do errands for a ninja village?"

"Who knows?" Jiraiya shrugged, "Though I know for one, that Tsunade always unprecedented healing powers, even to bring people out from comas…"

"…Fuck…"

"Choice is up to you. If you come, I can delay the decision making process for your permanent residence long enough for you to find Tsunade. But I'm leaving tomorrow to find her. Think about it, and go eat that ramen before it gets colder than it already is."

Jiraiya left. Not soon after Haku burst into the stall, and spotted a silent Naruto.

"Naruto! They councilors, they're only giving you a day-"

"Haku."

That stopped her.

"Don't worry about it…" a familiar never-say-die grin began to form, "Someone told me a way out of this problem."

And with that, Naruto dove into his cooling dinner.

-

-

-

"I see you came." The elderly author smirked as he stood by the large gates in the morning light. Approaching Jiraiya was Naruto again; beside him was Haku as well.

"Remember. I'm not doing this to get a Hokage, I'm here to get a cure." Naruto bluntly answered. Jiraiya shrugged.

"Same person, same problem. Let's go. I managed to convince them to give you your sword, so here."

Passing the sword, Naruto easily retied the weapon comfortingly onto his back once more. Turning to his sister-in-arms, he gave a mock pout.

"You really want to stay, Haku?"

"I have to. I have to make sure Tetsuya-sensei is fine while your gone."

"Don't worry. I'll be back, and we'll get out of here. We always do!"

"Yeah. Good luck Naruto."

So a Hermit and a Samurai left Konoha, in search of a maiden who would solve all their problems…

"So beady chick, LET'S GO!"

"…Don't make such a stupid pose…"

-

-

-

Next Chapter: Jiraiya investigates, Naruto trains. Yet another long drawn out boring sequence dedicated to… training foxes…

A/N: Another not so hot chapter. This arc is going to be a little troublesome, since the plot's not so well formed in my head. I'll figure something out.

Don't you find it odd? Everytime there's a story with a Jinchuriki OC, it always has to be a girl holding the Nibi Nekomata. I see too much Nekomata, I breath in too much Nekomata. TOO MUCH NIBI! NIBIBNBINBINBINBINBIBNBARGGH!

Even Kishimoto has introduced the Nibi Jinchuriki! AGH! It only makes me more scared that of the day he'll introduce a Gobi jinchuriki and completely negate Tetsuya's exsistence! BWAH!

This chapter is stupid. Shorter by comparison, and not even funny. Thank god this is out of the way.


	13. Princess: Ironically about Luck

A/N: Just read that latest chapters in the manga. Did you see? Nibi got owned. By a mad Buddhist with a bit of curry, at that! How humililating.

Everybody get ready to anxiously await the arrival of Sengoku Basara 2. It's probably the most cheerful, anime-trippy, super-powered, parody of the Sengoku Warring States Period yet.

I mean, you can't possibly go wrong with wiping out armies of feudal Japanese soldiers with historical characters that look like something out of an anime, right?

-

-

-

Naruto grabbed the intertwined white and red ropes, and gave a couple of shakes, letting the bells atop give off a tingle. After a quick and silent prayer, he returned to the front of the small shrine, where his begrudged partner-in-travel was sitting on the stone steps. 

"Hey, Pervert. So let's get going, huh?"

Jiraiya groaned. "Hey, kid. Don't call me that in public. And I don't feel like going just yet."

"…WHAT! You're just sitting around while sensei's in a coma, and you were in that big speech about how bad Konoha needs a Hokage, and now of all times you SIT?"

"The Hokage can wait a little bit. Tsunade isn't going to disappear off the face of the planet. I just feel a bit peckish. You don't mind getting me a snack?"

"Get it yourself!"

"Oh no, but I need your help!"

"Oh? And what sort of food is it that only I could get?" Naruto sarcastically spat.

"A nice, pretty form."

"Eh?"

"With big melons!"

"…You're joking."

"Not at all! And it has to have a nice curving figure, like this!" Jiraiya excitedly demanded, shaping out an hourglass figure with his two hands.

"You really are perverted."

"It only depends on how you perceive it! Now I'm going to sit here until you get here with what I want! Go!" Jiraiya shouted as he pointed a finger at the entrance of the temple.

"Jeez! What a messed up planet…" Naruto was last heard mumbling as he tromped his way out of the building.

In the absence of the samurai, Jiraiya took the time to jot down a few notes on a possible story, maybe something about temple priestesses.

And tentacles. Lots of it. The whole tentacle thing seemed to be a new fad that was emerging in literary circles, and Jiraiya was interested in trying out the sub-genre for himself, see where it would take him.

"Hey! Pervert!" The familiar lemon-top voice came.

Well, that was quick. Must be a samurai thing.

"Naruto! I told you-" Jiraiya began, before he stopped in his tracks at the sight of what Naruto held in his arms.

It was a pair of watermelons. Not only that, it was one of those messed up mutant kinds: it appeared that two watermelons had adjoined to each other at their ends, so that the two formed an hourglass shape.

Naruto threw the adjoined fruit to Jiraiya, sneering. "So how about it? You got something with some nice big melons and an hourglass figure."

"Naruto… YOU IDIOT!" Jiraiya yelled, before bringing a cleaver down on the fruit, splitting it down the middle of its length.

-

-

-

**Princess: Ironically about Luck**

**-**

**-**

**-**

All in all, Naruto, though being a smart ass, did find some great tasting watermelons.

"Okay, so you got your melons. Can we go now?"

"I don't see what the rush is all about."

"The sooner we drag this lady of yours back to Konoha, the sooner Haku and sensei can I can get out of there."

"Things aren't always that simple you know." Jiraiya countered.

"You better hope it will be, or I'm going to kick your ass for dragging me here for nothing!"

The Hermit laughed at that, earning some well-earned meta-physical daggers from Naruto's eyeballs.

"Either way, it shouldn't be that hard to find Tsunade."

"What makes you think that? If she's anything like you, she should be impossible to find."

"I'd suppose. Plus it gets worse."

Naruto deadpanned, "Oh?"

"She's incredibly vain about her age. She may be fifty, but she uses genjutsu extensively to hide her appearance as a young woman. Should could look anything from a teenager to a twenty year old maiden!"

"Okay, you're really helping the morale, here. Idiot." Naruto snorted.

"That's my line. Besides, I was getting to the best part!"

"You gotta be kidding."

"This is good. Keep this in mind. Tsuande has an addiction to gambling. She plays in almost every sort of game that requires a bet religiously."

Naruto gave this thought as they plodded along the countryside. "So what, we're supposed to check for every casino that reports a landslide clear out? I assume, she's some sort of genius gambler or something. Heh, that's how the story goes."

"Quite the opposite actually! We look for casinos that have gained large amounts of money. After all, Tsunade is well known as the Legendary Sucker."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Legendary… Sucker? Does she really suck that much?"

"Poor girl, indeed. She also borrows large amounts of money to keep up this lifestyle, so we can look into moneylenders as well. Poor girl, I don't even recall her winning a game of tic-tac-toe. But there was that time she challenged us to a game of strip poker-"

"AGH! Stop!"

"Tch, prude."

-

-

-

Their first stop was at a gambling den that featured those accursed Han-Cho games. Naruto personally never liked those games. It relied too much on luck to be any fun. It wasn't nearly as involving or strategic as that Hanafuda set they managed to buy.

Ah, the good old days.

While Naruto was off reminiscing, Jiraiya was questioning the head of the establishment, a rather suspicious bearded looking fellow that had the look of a gangster.

"Did I see Tsunade around here? Hmm… maybe…"

Jiraiya harrumphed, "And what do I need to do to jog that memory of yours?"

"How about a bet? You win; I'll let you know. If you lose, you pay a fee for it."

"Alright then!"

Around this same time another gambler approached Naruto. "Hey kid, wanna try?"

"I don't really like this time of game, though."

"Just to pass the time! All you have to do is guess!"

Considering that the boy didn't really have much to lose in funds, he relented.

Things thus occurred in this order. Jiraiya was first seen listening to the thuds of the dice rattling around the upside down bowel as it landed on the ground.

"Guess! Odd or Even number?"

"Hmmm… EVEN!"

"Odd. Pay up."

Jiraiya did the best he could to keep himself from swearing, as he reached into his deep pockets. The money didn't really matter, since he made enough off his sales to-

"Holy crap!"

"How does he do that?"

Jiraiya and the gambler turned around to see a gathering crowd around one game. The man hosting the game the was also calling for the head to come over quickly, with a cry of "ANIKI! We got trouble!"

Coming over one could see very clearly the distress the gambler was in, "This… kid is clearing me out!"

Naruto shut his eyes at the man in distaste, a small pile of chips growing by his side. "Don't look at me! I'm just guessing here!"

"No way! You must be cheating!"

"I am not! How the hell can you even cheat in these sort of games?"

"Fine! Bet it all! I'll get our money back! Odd or Even?"

"Even!"

Again, the samurai's lucky streak hit true again.

"GAGH!"

"Um… Naruto… you wouldn't mind helping a poor hermit out, would you?" A particular in the crowd pleaded with the winning boy.

Naruto glared.

-

-

-

Jiraiya laughed heartily beside a glowering Naruto.

"Ah! I love you samurai at times, with your never ending drive for charity!"

"Damn… why did I have to put up so much for you?"

"On the matter of charity, speaking of which, I should take this opportunity to teach you something interesting that you might need in the future…"

Naruto snorted at this. "What the hell could I possibly want to learn from a ninja?"

"Who on earth could possibly know?" Jiraiya mused as he adjusted his head plate again, "I mean, I am only a genius in seals, and the teacher of Yondaime Hokage, the man who sealed Kyuubi."

That got Naruto turning. And pointing a finger rudely, as he always did. "And what would I want from that furry bastard!"

Jiraiya grinned at the question, "Tell me, have you ever experienced a time when you were filled with an immense amount of energy?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. Coming from the words of a womanizing pervert who gloried in sex, that question came off sounding… wrong. "…Eh?"

"No really! A time when something like immense amounts of chakra coursing through your body."

Naruto put his hands behind his head and stepped from one foot to another uneasily. "Well if you want to put it that way… maybe once or twice."

"Oh? What were the situations?"

"Eh… we got a attacked or we were in a big fight."

"And what did it feel like?"

"Like I could kill anybody I wanted… and I always felt the strongest desire to rip apart the bastards who wanted to hurt my friends then."

"Well you may not know, but the seal's nature wasn't to completely lock Kyuubi up."

"Eh?"

"There's a gap in the seals that allows Kyuubi's chakra to intermingle with your own. That ties the demon to your body more tightly, and makes sure that when you die, Kyuubi goes as well."

"You make it sounds like Kyuubi's a completely different being than me."

"What, you don't believe it?"

"Well, the villagers always thought me for the monster itself. All Sensei did was to teach me to take a little pride in being one." The blonde shrugged nonchalantly.

"How depressing…"

"Hey! Don't paint out my story as a tragedy, you old pervert! If even I don't lose sleep over the fact I got Kyuubi in me, nobody else should!"

"Look whatever. There's a town up ahead, we can stop there until I can teach you a little trick."

"And what is this 'little trick'?" Naruto snorted.

Jiraiya grinned. It looked far to mischievous to be good intentioned, "Why, how to use Kyuubi's chakra, of course."

-

-

-

Jiraiya carted the boy through the town, and up into the hilly woods beyond, defiantly ignoring the various insults and questions that in all ways or forms, came from the root phrase-

"What the hell, you pervert! Tell me how to get Kyuubi's chakra already!"

"Be patient, youngster!" Jiraiya shouted back, annoyed. Eventually reaching a place deep enough in the wilds, he stopped their party. "Now this looks like a good place to train as any. While you're off following my instructions, I hope you won't mind me… borrowing your winnings to get some rooms in an inn."

"Ha! You can't trick me! Do you really mean that, or do you mean, 'room in a brothel'? Pervert!"

Jiraiya raised a palm to his ear, "What's this? The little samurai doesn't want to learn how to get stronger?"

"Phh, you'll teach me anyways! You saved my ass from those red-cloaked bastards, you should teach me to defend myself from them, since you're not going to be there all the time."

"You're absolutely right…" Jiraiya sighed. "Either way, what you have to do for this first phase is drain yourself of all the chakra you have in your body."

"Doesn't that kill people?"

"No! Not literally every last bit of chakra, just enough so you can't use techniques any more!"

The request sounded odd in Naruto's ears, but anything to get stronger. "Fine."

"In the mean time, I'll be down in the town, trying to find rooms without any money. If we have to stay in some old hovel, I know who to blame…"

"Yeah right! We both know how much money you make from peddling porn!" Naruto shouted at Jiraiya's retreating back, before reaching into the folds of his haori, "Isn't that right, froggie? Eh? Froggie? Where are you…"

Naruto's frog shaped wallet was missing.

_HE COULDN'T HAVE!_

"JIRAIYAAA! COME BACK HERE WITH MY WALLET!"

The hermit was already gone though, and Naruto suddenly realized he didn't know the way back.

"GYYYYRARRGGH!"

With a mighty scream, Naruto pulled his sword from behind his back and swung it at the nearest tree.

-

-

-

A dull thunder echoed through the colored halls. Jiraiya chuckled as he watched the vibrations ripple through his wine.

"Oh Jiraiya-honey, what was that noise? It sounds so scary…" A woman whined while she clutched his clothed chest.

"Nothing to worry about. Just a storm of humanity working itself out in the wilds."

"What? I don't understand what you mean by that…"

"Don't worry, you'll understand. In the mean time, how about some more drinks?"

"Would you! You're a dear!"

"I get that all the time." Jiraiya mused before throwing a fist holding a frog-wallet up into the air, "Excuse me, waitresses! More drinks! I have money!"

-

-

-

Another Oak flew up into the air, chakra powered air ripping through its bark and wood. Naruto panted heavily while the tree crashed behind him. His hand was rubbed raw from the number of swings that occurred through the day in anger. The sun was setting, and Naruto was still unhappy.

"He tricked me!"

Swing. Birches and branches flew.

"A _ninja _tricked me! I should run him through!"

A couple trees to his side fell down from a reckless swing.

"Old bastard perverted… brothel going… money stealing…perverted…ninja hermit…bastard…ass…scheming conning little…DAMN DAMN DAMN!"

More trees fell. Naruto heard a voice from behind him.

"You know, you should calm down a little, before you start endangering entire species."

"YOU! I'M GONNA KILL YOUR PERVERTED ASS!"

Naruto swung. A breeze passed by. "Eh?"

"I see you've used up the majority of the chakra as I told you too."

"What? You purposely tricked me into venting my anger! You tricked me _twice!_ You bastard!"

"I know… I'm amazing for a ninja, aren't I?" Jiraiya chuckled, as he posed with a hand to his chin. Naruto was standing by grinding his teeth. "Well, time for the next phase of getting you to get Kyuubi's chakra."

"And how's that going to work?" The still very unamiable blonde demon swordsman snorted.

"Follow me."

The two went deeper into the hills, until they reached a great crevice nestled between the rises. Naruto gazed apprehensively into the dark void.

"Hey… what's this got to do with training?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Naruto, I hope you forgive me, but this is really the only way I know-"

The boy was caught off guard when the older man suddenly moved with untraceable speed. Before he knew it, Naruto felt something pick him up by the collar of the vest he wore, and pitch him into the air into the dark.

Naruto fell in the abyss screaming.

_You don't have any of your own chakra left…that leaves only one option for your body to take…don't worry, Naruto. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think you'd survive it…_

-

-

-

_fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I'M GONNA DIE!_ Was all Naruto was thinking as he fell through the darkness. He was falling too fast to grasp the sides of the wall with chakra, and he didn't have chakra to begin with, he realized.

I knew it! I couldn't trust a ninja for anything! I bet he had orders to kill me as soon as I came back! Assholes! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'll see you guys die!

Snarling, Naruto flipped through the air trying to right himself to the wall. Pulling his sword free, he tried to drive the blade into the rock wall, hoping to slow his fall.

It snapped on the high-speed rocks.

"Come on!" Naruto whined. But he was Uzumaki Naruto! One more time!

Naruto unwound the coil that tied his sword sheath to his back. Lashing out, he held the wooden, steel enforced cover in his hands while the attached cable swung upwards.

It caught on something.

_Yes!_

As the cable drew taut, it snapped on the boy's weight.

_GODDAMN! WHY NOW OF ALL TIMES?_

Continuing to fall, Naruto let the wooden scabbard drift out of his hands. Nothing was going to help this time, sheer determination wasn't going to save him from gravity.

_I really am going to die… I couldn't even save Sensei…_

The wind began to lull Naruto's eyes to close to an inevitable death.

_If only…_

_…I had…_

_…a bit of chakra…_

-

-

-

When Naruto came too, he realized his clothes were soaked.

"What the hell…"

He wasn't even in the crevice any more, falling to his death. It actually reminded him of a partially flooded sewage system. But the place seemed strangely tinted yellow, giving the entire place a whole, surreal, dreamish, unbelievable look.

"Where am I…?" Naruto pondered as he got to his feet and began to explore, feet sloshing through the pools of water. The entire structure… burst pipes, closed valves, caved in ceilings, among other things.

It was like this place used to transport tons of fluid between two points, but suddenly go destroyed one day, ending its use forever.

The concrete hall made a sudden turn to the left, into a dark chamber. Naruto gulped and hesitantly stood before the dark.

Something was in there. That was why the dark felt like it wanted to eat him alive.

A few hesitant steps in, and he found himself in a giant chamber. In front of him was a pair of immense ornate barred gates, stretching to the ceiling, and cutting the entire room in half.

About half way up, he noticed a slip of inked paper clinging to the gap between the gates.

_…'Seal'? Could this place be…?_ Naruto realized. Before him, a pair of slit red eyes glowed, teeth grinned.

…**I CAN SEE YOU…**

Naruto glared at the red shadowy form beyond, "You must be Kyuubi."

Teeth and claws slammed up against the bars of the prison, mere feet away from crushing the boy.

**IMPUDENT MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU ADRESS ME AS SUCH! BOW! I AM KYUUBI NO KITSUNE, THE GREATEST OF THE TAILED-BEASTS! I SHOULD EAT YOU WERE YOU STAND… HOWEVER THIS SEAL… TO BE DEFEATED BY SUCH A MAN…**

Naruto as always indignantly pointed a finger from his position, "You asshole fox! Why should I bow to you? It's all your fault my life's all fucked up!"

Kyuubi's laughter reverberated through the hall, **MY FAULT? MY FAULT THAT I SHARE WITH YOU NOW THE GREATEST OF ALL POWERS? TO ALLOW YOU TO SURPASS ALL PLANES OF HUMANITY WITH A WISH? HOW IGNORANT YOU ARE. YOU SHOULD BE BLAMING THE FOURTH HOKAGE FOR SEALING ME IN YOU, BESIDES. IT WAS HIS WILL THAT YOU BE SELECTED FOR THIS GREAT PRIVILEGE**.

"Privilege! Privilege of what? Sharing my stomach with something like you?"

**YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE THE THINGS THAT COME WITH BEING A VASSAL… OR VESSEL… OF A GREAT DEMON LIKE ME. OF COURSE, IF YOU ARE TOO FOOLISH TO TAKE POWER WHENEVER YOU CAN… YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.**

"Ha! But who knows? I was falling into to my death if I last remembered, and if I die, you die too! That's how the seal works! So you better put in your due to make sure we both get out of this!"

**TCH… IDIOTS WHO FALL TO THEIR DEATH SHOULD DIE FOR BEING SO STUPID IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT IN THIS CASE… DEATH IS TOO SOON FOR ME, EVEN FOR SOMEONE AS OLD AS I. VERY WELL, I'LL LET YOU LIVE THIS TIME…**

Naruto saw a blood red stream head towards him, and began to envelope him, to his horror. Fighting, he could only hear words as he was swallowed up in Kyuubi's chakra.

**REMEMBER THIS THOUGH… YOU ARE A FOOL… I SPARE YOU THIS TIME FOR MY INTERESTS… HOWEVER, THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU WORTHY OF THIS STRENGTH… DO NOT COME BACK HERE AGAIN. I DO NOT LISTEN TO THE IDLE BANTERINGS OF A FOOL… IF KEEPING MY CHAKRA FROM YOU IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN FIGHT NOW… I WILL GLADLY DO IT.**

-

-

-

Down, deep in the darkness, Naruto saw red.

-

-

-

A gust of wind rushed out of the black crevice, washing Jiraiya's face in an ample amount of malevolent aura.

No doubt about it. Naruto's on his way back up.

Backing away, the hermit could already see a red energy illuminating the walls of the dark fall. Then came the voice.

"**JiiiiiiiiRAAIIIYAAAA!"**

Naruto literally leapt out of the crevice and flew several meters into the air above the aging writer.

"Ah! Naruto! There you are!"

"**YOU BASTARD! I'm gonna rip you to shreds and eat your costume and shit it out! You steal my money, and you try to kill me! You're the worst kind of human ever!"** Naruto growled, eyes red, body burning.

"Don't worry about it. Kyuubi has too much invested on you to simply die this way. Besides, I see you pulling out the Demon's chakra-"

"**You Idiot! I just talked to him! Now he hates me! He just kept me alive this time, but he wouldn't give me chakra even if it were the last thing he could do! Which it is the last thing left he can do! And you made me break my sword!"**

_Curious…but then again, I should expect creatures like Kyuubi to be incredibly vain…_ "Ah, don't worry about it! You've established a connection with the Demon now, so just keep needling him until you get what you want. And swords are easy to get."

"**THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I SHOULD EAT YOU… where you…."** Naruto tried to answer. But Kyuubi's little sampler had already conked out, leaving the boy exhausted, and consequently out cold in front of Jiraiya.

-

-

-

**I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO RETURN HERE.**

It's not my fault! Now give me your chakra!

**NO. NOW LEAVE ALREADY.**

Wait-

-

-

-

Naruto woke up awkwardly with quite a bit of a start. He decided to bury his face into the blankets. Damned sunlight. That was one hell of a weird dream.

"RISE AND SHINE, BEADY CHICK!" Jiraiya's voice bombed over the top of Naruto's futon. The boy cursed and turned over in his bed.

"Go away… need more sleep."

"Hardly! You've been out for three days already."

"Not funny…"

"I'm not being funny." The hermit's voice replied to Naruto, a frown readily apparent in the tone. Naruto groaned.

After a good hour, Naruto found himself dressed, squinting, irritable, and lacking a sword.

He felt extremely naked. The various kunai he had with him was no substitute at all.

"Well then, LET'S GO!" Jiraiya enthusiastically shouted, surging forward with a finger pointed at the horizon.

"Hey, what did I say about stupid poses? Idiot Pervert."

"Don't be so picky. Just concentrate on trying to get that connection with Kyuubi again."

"So he can what? Laugh at me again?" Naruto snorted as the two of them headed down the road.

-

-

-

Tanzaku City was the next place they were hitting up for clues in the long line of cities down the road. So far, in the past, most of the casinos reporting huge gains were going down this road. Tanzaku was a logical choice, due to its popularity of its landmark, and also because of its famous Panchiko parlours. Tsunade, if she went in this direction, would have been drawn to the place like a fly to the meat.

Of course, if one wanted to make a correct allegory, one would have to say the meat was actually a scented fly-trap, Tsunade's crappy gambling skills and all.

To be honest, Naruto was sort of excited (not that he would actually say) of seeing the aforementioned Tanzaku castle. Even though the three samurai traveled a lot, going to popular location was like shouting "I'm here, can you kill me?" aloud to the world and its Hunter-Nins. So the blonde samurai never had too many chances in his life to see famous sites, like one of the last ancient castles that survived the Great Shinobi Wars.

Which was why, Naruto was grinding his teeth in silent cloud of threatening death, as the two of them stood perched on a tree limb looking at the battlements of Tanzaku Castle, which guarded nothing but a pile of rubble.

"Someone's gonna pay for this…" Naruto growled.

"Curious, it looks like the damage has occurred recently, since the debris clouds haven't settled completely yet."

"'damange'? The entire damn castle's demolished!"

"Oh don't worry, I'm sure they can rebuild a worthy enough recreation, in time."

The two of them noticed citizens fleeing the scene, screaming for their lives.

"Umm… excuse me! Could someone clue me into what happened to this castle?" Jiraiya shouted into the escaping crowd. One receptive man stopped and pointed a frantic finger in the opposite direction.

"You guys! Stop standing around and get out of here! A monster suddenly appeared and destroyed the castle! It's huge!"

_Monster?_ Was the unanimous thought between the samurai and the ninja.

"Care the elaborate? What does it look like?"

"It-it's this HUGE snake? You guys get out of here, or you'll get killed!" The man managed to answer before deciding he stayed too long for his health, and escaped, much to Naruto's screaming chagrin.

"Hey! Hey! What do you mean 'huge snake'? Elaborate! It's not like everyday… Hey!" Naruto futilely shouted down the dirt road from his position in the tree.

Jiraiya's thoughts turned downward_s. Huge Snake? And so soon after the Chuunin Exam attack…it probably is Him… and if He's here… then that also means…_

"Naruto, stop asking around! I think Tsunade might be in this city. I'll detail you in on the monster along the way!"

"Really?"

The two leapt from the tree.

-

-

-

_This kid…he seems to have quite a future in the whole gambling thing… _Jiraiya enviously mused. It was only a few days ago that he emptied the samurai of all his winnings, yet today he won it all back and more.

It began when the two first went over the Panchiko parlors in the area. Just like back in the gambling den, Naruto expressed his dislike over games the relied too much on luck, rather than skill, but was inexorably drawn to the machine anyways. Jiraiya had some helpful information, hearing at last, that a woman of Tsunade's description had been in the establishment this morning, before the whole castle had been destroyed.

Of course, it was confusing that he described the woman as having an amazing winning streak.

_Tsunade always considered it a bad omen when she won… heh, looks like she was right, considering what happened, and who else could be here._

Of course, not shortly after he noticed Naruto having a grand old time, as his machine kept dolling out coins for him.

"And I didn't cheat this time either! The stupid machine just keeps dropping the ball in the 'good' slots!"

"I see…"

And so Naruto left the establishment with bags full of peripherals and souvenirs.

"Hee, hee! Just wait 'till Haku and Sensei sees all the stuff I got!"

Jiraiya thus went looking through all the bars in the place. Next to gambling, Tsunade's second greatest vice was her refined taste for alcohol. At least in that, she could brag in having some skill.

Of course, again, Naruto noticed an elderly lady in a lottery stand waving for him.

"You… young lad… you look like a lucky fella'."

"Well, I guess it's just a fluke and all."

"Really? Wish to try your luck? It's only a few coins to try and win so much more in weight."

"Well… I guess it wouldn't hurt."

It didn't Naruto just happened to pull out the strip that held the grand prize. His froggie wallet bulged to the seams after.

Jiraiya sighed inwardly, _Like I say, he has some definite skill. It would almost make me jealous, but I'm already rich, and through an honest job too, HA!_

"Hey, Pervert."

"I said not to call me that in public."

"Whatever. What's with the snakes anyways? You sounded like you were familiar with them."

"Naruto… you know that ninja teams always come in three. Even the Sannin are known for being the great 'Three Ninja'."

"So that means there's you, Tsunade and…?"

"The final Sannin. Orochimaru."

"Orochimaru?"

"These day's he's obsessed with power. All he cares for is finding immortality and learning every jutsu in the world. He's a real villain now."

"So… he summoned those snakes? Why's he here?"

"You should know, he's the one responsible for masterminding the attack on Konoha, as well as being the one who killed Sandaime Hokage."

"Ah."

"Before the Hokage died, he managed to destroy a portion of Orochimaru's soul, rendering him incapable of using his arms, and in turn unable to make Hand-Seals."

"Ouch. That must be a slap in the face for a guy wants to learn all jutsus in the world."

"Indeed. Orochimaru must have come here to get Tsunade to heal him."

"Heal! Tsunade can actually fix something like a missing portion of a guy's soul?" Naruto sounded genuinely amazed.

"I wouldn't be surprised if it were in her power. She is probably the greatest Medic-Nin we've seen yet."

Naruto snorted. "Perfect. Competition."

"Naruto… remember this. Even if you wish to have no affiliation with Konoha, don't try to imagine that somebody like Orochimaru isn't your problem just because of that… he's extremely dangerous to everything in his path."

Phh, fine. Just don't trick me into doing Konoha's dirty work. I'll fight him if I have to, but I'll also decide how much danger he is to me."

"…Fine."

They continued to search all day, until night fell on them, and they were walking down the streets.

"Oi, Pervert. Let's call it a day and go find a room to board up."

"Not yet. I just have to check one more bar."

"Jeez! We haven't even found something to eat!"

"Just eat the peanuts if you're that hungry!"

Naruto grumbled, but relented. Luck again showed its rewarding side to his unselfishness.

The two of them slid through the entranceway, into a rather decent looking bar. On the far wall were a series of booths. Apparently, some food could be ordered here as well.

"EH? Jiraiya!" A woman in the back suddenly pointed in shock.

"Ah! Tsunade! What a small world!"

Naruto sort of gaped. He was aware the woman was capable of hiding her true age… but this… twenty-year-old blonde chick… with boobs… something was definitely off here.

Introductions came around easily enough. Tsunade was the blonde, obviously. The woman next to her was Shizune, an apprentice of sorts that was also fairly skilled in medicine. And the little dolled up pig was Ton-Ton, for some reason.

"And who's the kid with you, Jiraiya?" Tsunade finally drawled, giving a look to the boy who was making himself at home with his dinner. Her face was just the slightest tinge red; obviously shower her under influence of alcohol, but not enough to be incoherent. Great drinker, indeed.

"This is Uzumaki Naruto."

The thought between the gambler Sannin and her companion was about the same. _The Kyuubi kid?_

"So… explain to me why you don't have a Konoha headband."

Naruto spoke easily between bites, not missing a beat, "Konoha sucks. I left when I was a kid."

"And how did Jiraiya manage to find you?"

"Stuff happened, I'm stuck with him until you go to Konoha."

Tsunade's face darkened. "Excuse me?"

Jiraiya took over from here. "Tsunade. You should know the state Konoha is in right now."

"I know. Orochimaru popped by today, he told me he killed Sarutobi."

"That all?"

"Just a few words, hello and all. Why are you concerned?"

"Konoha believes that you're the only one qualified enough to be Hokage at this point."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"You're the granddaughter of the first Hokage, you ability is comparable to that of one on the level of a Kage, you've contributed a lot while you were in service to Konoha, and you've never acted against them. Your teacher, and mine, was Sarutobi, also a Hokage. I don't think there's anything to kid about. Either way, I need your answer. Are you going to be Hokage or not?"

"Not. Not even possible. Not even dreamable."

Jiraiya chuckled, hiding his disappointment, "Hmph. I remember you saying that once when I asked you out on a date."

The woman looked over Naruto again. "He looks a bit like the Fourth, no?"

"Exactly the same. Bratty, annoying, ill mannered, and holding quite a potential…"

"I remember Yondaime… I remember most of the Kages. They were all idiots."

"My Tsunade… you've changed more than I expected."

"I've seen enough to warrant it. Yondaime sacrificed himself, Granddad sacrificed himself, Sarutobi sacrificed himself. For what? They changed nothing in the end, they just died in some stupid machismo manner before they lived a full happy life…"

The woman's eyes glazed slightly as she remembered another time…

"…Being Hokage is just a death wish… only idiots think that such things like dying heroically is great… The Hokage title is crap. I'm not, and that's final."

Silence. Just then Naruto finished his bowel of soup.

"Hey, old lady…"

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever… I don't see the point of making that speech. I'm not part of Konoha, so I could give any shit less about what happens there. But, I have my ulterior motives why I'm here. In that case, I don't give a fuck whether you want to be Hokage or not. You're still going to Konoha, and after I found you, I'm not going to let you off so easily."

Tsunade smirked. "Oh? And what are you going to do, if I still say no?"

Naruto grinned like a predator right back, "Simple, I'd kick your ass, break your arms and legs, and drag you back by the collar of your shirt."

Both of them were up from their seats, hands on the table, staring each other straight in the eye. Jiraiya and Shizune began to back away nervously.

"You've got a lot of guts, kid. You know what Jiraiya said. I'm comparable to a Kage."

"I don't give a fuck if you're the bitch of the universe. You're going to Konoha, one way or another, even if it means using force."

"Is that an invitation? Step outside, kid." She smirked.

"Fine, if it makes you feel better that less people are going to see your ass get beat down by a kid." He grinned.

The two stepped out into the night.

-

-

-

Next Chapter: These days, anything can be put up to the bet. Money, jewelry, pride, reputation… Life… how much is Naruto and Tsunade willing to bet? How much are they going to actually win?

A/N: Yet another instructional that may or may not be useful, but sure as hell is annoying for me to see at times. First, review skits. You know how some times some reviewers do those skits in their review like they're shouting to one guy to another or something? Sometimes they're good, most all of them I've seen are bad (Don't worry Sheo, I forgive you. Yours at least addressed the chapter). It's like they're trying to be funny or cute or something. Except it isn't, it just makes them look immature. Especially with all those Tee-hees, and emoticons…

The second thing I dislike is sometime I come across these story summaries that go "What if?" Or "I know this is a bad summary please bear with me."

That's almost like saying to me "Hay guyz! I have this cool idea and I'm **not** doing my absolute best to convince you to read it, since I'm not even sure myself if it's a good story! Tee hee, but it's my story, so pweese read?"

Even if the idea is crappy, at least don't sound like you think it's crappy. Otherwise everybody will realize even the author is thinking he or she is writing a story that's crappy, and they won't even read it!

It's not like you see your favorite writer (example), go "Hey, what if Harry Potter had a God-father that was also a shape shifting freak? I know it's a bad idea, but please bear with me and shell out a couple bucks to buy my book!"

You ever saw that? No? That's because she just slapped your face and shook your head saying "PRISONER OF AZKABAN WANTS HARRY'S HEAD! YOU WANT TO FIND OUT MORE? BUY MY BOOK!"

Hell, I even remember Stephen King in his autobiography bitching about how bad authors are managing to make money off crap ideas. Not that I promote the idea of not doing your absolute best on stories, but obviously, if these so-called bad authors are managing to sell books by the sheer force of their… sales face? You know what I mean. The same concept applies to summaries. Selling an idea to an audience before they even read it.

Summaries are very important things.

One of the many reasons why I believe Voice is one of the most important things when it comes to writing. Next to writing legibly, of course.


End file.
